


A New Beginning

by aglasstofreedom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Goldfinch (2019), The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: Adoption, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Sirius Black, Bisexual Lily Evans Potter, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Desi Potter Family (Harry Potter), Everyone Is Alive, Father-Son Relationship, Found Family, Good Narcissa Black Malfoy, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Non-white Lily Evans, Non-white Potters, Non-white Sirius Black, POC James Potter, Past Child Abuse, Severus Snape Bashing, Squibs, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Remus Lupin, characters have been de-aged, don't worry boris and theo still meet in this version
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-04-20 23:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 171,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aglasstofreedom/pseuds/aglasstofreedom
Summary: There is an awkward silence for a couple of seconds and suddenly he wants to ask him what age he is again and who his parents are and if he needs help, he suddenly looks so much younger that he did at the beginning of this conversation but he doesn’t say any of that because he knows kids like this (he was a kid like this) and he knows he’ll run or he’ll deny everything, he’ll treat him like he is insane and maybe he is, he is the one trying to keep a conversation going with the world’s tiniest drug dealer.Or an au in which Sirius Black adopts a 11 year old Boris Pavlikovsky.
Relationships: Theodore Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky
Comments: 78
Kudos: 112





	1. A special meeting in 7-eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warnings: Mention of alcohol/drinking, attempted theft, references to past child abuse, mention of running away, allusion to child sex abuse (nothing happens, it's just mentioned as possibility), references to family estrangement/disowning, mention of murder (Boris's dad's criminal activities), mention of underage smoking. Let me know if anyone wants other content warnings.

Sirius knew he had hit rock bottom today when he ended up doing his grocery shopping at a 7-eleven of all places because everywhere else was closed but on the bright side he is about to be done, he just has to pay and be on his way out, so when he gets to the cashier he is about to start paying, but then the lady behind the desk tells him that a boy outside had been eyeing his motorcycle for a while now and that he might try to steal something.

He turns to look outside and he could only see a young boy, he doesn't even think that he would be tall enough to reach the pedals, let alone steal his motorcycle and the only thing he could take would be his bag which is tied to the bike and almost empty. 

He is about to laugh when he thinks of the one thing inside of his bag. 

Fuck. His wand. 

He gives the money and says to keep the change, takes his bags from the woman's hands and runs outside as fast as he can and as soon as he is out of the door and close enough to his motorcycle he yells “Hey! what are you doing?” 

He was expecting the kid to jump back like if the motorcycle was on fire and splutter some explanation but instead he just puts his hand on top of the seat like if he was just touching the leather to check if it was real or not and he hadn’t been about to open his bag and mug him.

Well, this ought to be interesting.

“Just looking.” He has an accent that Sirius can’t really recognize and he says it with such confidence that he almost believes it.

After a second, he is finally taking a step back and looking back at him, he is younger than what Sirius was expecting, he is tall enough to pass for twelve or maybe a really short fourteen year old but his baby face screamed that he was probably around the age of ten or maybe he was eleven. 

“You have a sweet ride, sir, congratulations,” he says politely as ever, he sounds like some sweet victorian orphan just looking for a loaf of bread from some novel.

“Thanks,” he responds with a shrug as the kid looks at him like he is studying him like he is trying to look for a sign or something like that. 

“So what are you doing tonight?” he asks tilting his head to a side like a lost puppy dog. “Are you going to a party?”

Sirius frowns. “No, what would give you that idea?” 

The kid points at the cans of soda and the alcohol in the bag and suddenly he gets what the kid was thinking and suddenly feels very self-conscious about the fact that this kid is seeing him spent his Saturday night grocery shopping at 7-eleven. 

What is he supposed to answer?

_No, kid, I’m not on my way to a party, turns out all of my friends are too busy to hang out with me so I’m going to spend it getting drunk with these bottles right here.  
_

Oh fuck it, who cares about what he thinks? He is just a child that he is probably not going to see again.

“Nope, I’m just grocery shopping,” he says, the kid looks at the rest of his bags like he finds something funny so before he can say anything, he uses the one way he knows can shut him up. “Do you want one of the sodas?”

“Yes, please,” he responds almost too eagerly as Sirius gives him one and takes it in such a rush that he feels like he was trying to rip his hand as well but the way he says “Thanks, sir” before he starts drinking makes up for it. 

He almost finishes the whole thing in one gulp and it makes Sirius think about giving him the rest of the pack or maybe even buying him a sandwich or maybe something bigger, he could give the kid his shopping bags (he’ll just take the vodka), he could always buy more later.

However once he sees the kid is done with the soda and cleaning his mouth on his sleeve, all he can think about is asking him, “So you are not from around here, are you?”

The kid is silent for a couple of seconds before saying, “I guess i just moved here.” 

He doesn’t know what he is supposed to respond to that so he gives him one of the pudding cups from his bag before asking, “You move often?”

“Yeah,” he said before grabbing the pudding cup, “Do you?” 

“I only moved once when I was 16 from my parents' house,” he responds because it’s easier than explaining that he was running away from some crazy shithole full of dysfunctional assholes to a kid who is rapidly empting that pudding cup.

“Good for you,” he says, and this time enthusiasm seems to be gone and Sirius feels like literal shit because he knows that there are probably thousands of reasons why this kid could be sad but the first thing he thinks about is that he is probably cranky and wants to go to sleep, it's late already and where are this kid’s parents.

“Where are your parents?” he asks basically on a whim. 

His whole demeanor changes on a second, he looks up at him suddenly suspicious like he was ready to curse his ass to hell, if looks could kill, he would have been dead on the floor before you could say “Avada Kedavra”.

“What are you? A cop?” He takes three steps back like he is preparing to run and the can of soda is balled up in his hand like he was planning to throw it at him, politeness be damned.

He can’t even be mad, that was a good escape plan since he thought he had been cornered.

“Of course not, fight the man–” he said quickly almost humorously before realising that he probably shouldn’t swear in front of a kid, he was still looking at him like he wasn’t sure if he should believe him or not, “I’m not a cop, kid, I’m serious.”

Ha. Inside joke for himself. 

“Fuck cops,” he adds for good measure and the kid nods looking more relaxed and at ease.

After a second of silence the kid looks up at him as he turns a charming smile towards him and asks him, “So since you are not a cop done with your grocery shopping, would you be interested in buying something else that might interest you?”

It sounds like a forty year old car salesman and it makes Sirius want to crack up. 

“Dude, how old are you? you are probably like ten,” Sirius asks and he can tell that annoys the kid but he can’t hold it back, he finds it funny. “Alright, what are you selling? Boy Scout Cookies or some shit like that?”

“I’m sixteen,” he responds stiffening like he is trying to make himself look taller, so confident that Sirius is tempted to believe him but that baby face says otherwise and then adds mockingly, “Also Boy Scout Cookies? What are you like eighty?” 

“Are you saying that there is an age restriction for your clients?” 

“Are you saying that you want to be a client?” he asked, sounding both excited and exasperated like he had been waiting for this moment since he started that conversation. 

“Sure, what are you selling?” he shrugs, the kid walks in front of him as if turning his back to the 7-eleven’s shitty security camera and once he does that, he knows what he is about to show him before he opens his jacket and he starts telling him all the stuff he is selling.

There is an awkward silence for a couple of seconds and suddenly he wants to ask him what age he is again and who his parents are and if he needs help, he suddenly looks so much younger that he did at the beginning of this conversation but he doesn’t say any of that because he knows kids like this (he was a kid like this) and he knows he’ll run or he’ll deny everything, he’ll treat him like he is insane and maybe he is, he is the one trying to keep a conversation going with the world’s tiniest drug dealer. 

“I’m not buying weed from a toddler,” he responds cutting the kid off, he looks back at him annoyed and rolls his eyes ready to walk away but stops dead in his tracks as soon as Sirius asks, “Are you hungry?”

He stays there with his back turned at him like he is frozen for a second and Sirius knows he needs to make a stronger offer or he’ll walk away and he is worried about what might happen to this little kid if he does “Do you want to go to get food? I know this place-” 

He turns around so quickly that he thinks he might snap his neck but instead of giving a confirmation, he sharply says “I don’t do that type of work!! So you better back off!! OR I’LL-”

“No, I wasn’t asking for that,” he says shaking his head horrified wondering if he had gotten those types of propositions before, “you just look hungry and I don’t like to eat by myself, that’s all”.

There is a long moment of silence in which he notices that the kid had pulled out his pocket knife but was starting to retract it. 

“That’s all?” he asks like he doesn’t buy it, so Sirius nods for good measure. He is still looking at him like he wants to skin him alive and breathing heavily but his gaze has softened like he is considering it but then he shakes his head, “I can’t, I have work, I have to pay-”

“I’ll give you money to pay, now come on, it’s at the end of the block,” he insists and the kid is still looking at him like he is not sure about this but he nods and starts to walk behind him. 

“You should take your bag, someone might try to take it,” he advises innocently like he wasn’t trying to mug him twenty minutes ago. 

Still he takes the bag and they start walking in the direction of the restaurant when he realizes something. 

“Wait, what’s your name kid?” 

“Jesus fucking christ, you just want to know fucking everything first where I’m from, my parents, my age and now my name,” the kid responds in such an exaggerated way that it makes him laugh. 

“Yeah and yet you haven’t answered any of my questions,” he responds as he gently nudges the kid in the shoulder. 

“Well, I know nothing about you, how about I make the questions for a change, huh?” he says defiantly looking up at him. “What’s your name?” 

“I’m Sirius”

The kid rolled his eyes “Fine, I’ll go first, my name is Boris, now what’s yours?” 

He cracks up when he hears that before putting his hand on his shoulder and saying as earnestly as he can manage “No, my name is seriously Sirius”.

Boris looks at him before doing a side glance like he thinks that name sucks and he is not about to explain the whole details about the Black family and their name decisions because this kid probably doesn’t care about any of that. 

“Damn, did your parents like not love you?” he says after a second and a part of him should be hurt really but he has to laugh and can’t help but nod too, which does seem to startle Boris for a second like he is ready to apologize but Sirius does a dismissive gesture with his hand. 

“Not really but who cares, right?” he responds with a shrug, the kid sort of nods and he opens the door and lets the kid walk in first “Now let’s talk about important stuff like where do you want to sit?”

Boris walks towards the table in the back and he follows him, the waiter gives him two menus so that they can decide what to eat and Sirius doesn’t really look at the menu for long, the boy is looking at him like he is expecting something. 

“Pizza?” Boris asks as he leans forward like he has forgotten a word and tilts his head as he asks “Yes?”

“Yeah, pizza sounds good,” he nods as he waits for the waiter to return, “you know that’s actually one of my favorite muggle foods”.

Fuck. 

“What?”

“I said it’s one of my favorite Italian foods.” Boris started shaking his head like he knew that wasn’t what he had said. Fuck. Sirius did the first thing that crossed his mind and took the menu and quickly hid behind it. “Do you want pepperoni pizza or american pizza?”

“Yes!” he answered quickly with a giant smile on his face.

“Cool” he smiled as he saw the waiter come back towards them with two glasses of water.

“Are you and your little brother ready to order?” he asks him,and he almost shakes his head but what is he supposed to say,_ No, sir, my actual little brother and me are not on speaking terms anymore, this is just some random child I just met, we are just eating together because well he has spunk and I like that, also I'm lonely and he is hungry, no, I’m not a weirdo I swear, I just don’t like to eat by myself and all my adult friends are busy_.

Yeah, he just tells him their order and he leaves, Boris is quiet for a few seconds and he can see him looking at him more detailedly like he is looking for someone or something.

“Yes?” 

“Do you think we look alike enough to be brothers?” he asks, still staring at him like he could see inside of his soul. 

He wants to say that he doubts it, they are not even the same race, but ends up staring back at him for a couple of minutes and realizes that he wasn’t looking for someone that looked like him, he was looking for someone that looked like his brother. 

For someone that looked like Regulus. 

He pushes the thought away and stares deeply into this kid’s face and huh, maybe he is right, they do look alike, they might have different eye color but they both have dark black curly hair and they do have similar facial features. 

“Honestly yeah, if time travel was real, you could be my love child,” he says as he realizes that and the kid sputters into laughter, it’s extremely violent and strong like one moment wasn’t happening but now it is and it can’t stop like some sort of explosion. 

He can see a couple sitting next to them turning to look at Boris with a judgy look like they want him to keep it down and if they say something, he’ll-

Well, he doesn’t know what he will do, he just knows that it won’t be pretty and for now he just gives them a warning look that basically screams “I dare you to say something” and eventually they turn back to whatever they were talking about and Boris’s laughter eventually dies down. 

The kid stays quiet for a second before saying “I want to go to the bathroom”. 

Sirius nods but Boris doesn’t stand up from the seat, he is about to explain that Boris doesn’t really need his permission to go to the bathroom, this isn’t a class and he isn’t his dad, he can just go, when Boris says “You’ll be here when I come back, yes?”

“Yeah, where would I go?” he asks a little bewildered, their pizza hasn’t even arrived yet. 

“You could leave and I would have to pay the bill by myself”. 

“I won’t, I promise,” he insists but Boris is still sitting there debating with himself if should go or not, so Sirius says, “I swear on my friends' lives that I won't go anywhere, Boris”.

Boris looks at him and then back at the table like Sirius had just said nothing which hurts a little bit but he can deal with it, he gets it. 

“I can go with you?” he offers and he is expecting him to decline but then Boris nods and finally stands up. 

So he follows him. 

He walks inside of a stall and Sirius waits outside feeling awkward as ever, they walk in at the same time that a dad walks in holding hands with his son, Boris basically ignores him as he gets inside of a stall. 

The kid finishes before Boris does and the dad has to remind him to wash his hands and the kid hurries to get to the sink, the dad looks back at him as he says “Kids, am I right?” 

Sirius is about to say that this isn’t his kid, not really but again, what is he supposed to say?

All he answer is a very weak “yeah”. 

A second later Boris comes out of the bathroom and they can finally get back to the table. All he is glad about is that he didn’t have to remind him to wash his hands. 

As soon as they sit down Boris asks a question. “So what do you do?”

“What do you mean?” He knows what he means but he is trying to play dumb.

“Like for a living?” Boris asks, strangely focused, “like work?”

“I work with my friends,” he lies and he feels like that will be enough for him to change topics, maybe talk about his friends. 

“Work like me?” after a second he shakes his head, “Mine? Yes? No?”

“No,” he responds, feeling bad because the kid is obviously making an effort to communicate with him and he is giving short answers and he sees him looking down at the table, hunched over and decides that, fuck it, he can lie better, so he says, “I lied, I don't work, I live off my uncle’s money”. 

“You do look rich,” he replies with a small shrug looking more comfortable again, “like ...fancy?”

“My family is known for casual elegance, that’s like one of the few good things about them,” he mentions and the kid snorts. “What about your family?”

He looks at him like he is checking for something, a sign in and he is opening his mouth about to answer when the pizza arrives and then the only thing he is opening his mouth for is to try to stuff it up with the first slice of pizza he could get his hands on, he is having some issues pulling it apart so Sirius helps him.

“There you go, kid,” he offers with a smile while putting it on a plate, he notices that the kid is staring at him intently again, he was expecting him to just say thank you and start eating. 

“My full name is Boris Pavlikovsky,” he says in a hushed tone like he was worried someone would hear him, he looks at him expectantly and Sirius doesn’t know how to tell him that he has no idea of what that name is supposed to mean.

“I'm sorry, I don't-”

“You don’t watch the news,” Boris says quickly now eating his pizza and speaking at the same time, all he can do is shake his head, dammit maybe he should read those newspapers Moony always has. 

“No,” he responds taking his first slice of pizza and eating quietly even if he was feeling his stomach turn. 

“My dad is in prison,” he admits with a shrug like it’s everyday information, “he is not good, just not a good person, yes?”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, a big part of him wanted to answer that it depends on what he did, because legality doesn’t always include morality, but then Boris says, “He killed someone in New Guinea. With a pipe wrench”. 

Hearing about how the man died should have been the most disturbing part but it wasn’t, the thing that horrifies him was how Boris was miming how he had died meaning that there were two options: the first one his father told him about it in detail or the second one he witness it first hand.

He wants to ask what happened, how it happened and how he can help him but instead all that comes out of his mouth is a strong “Oh fuck”. 

“Yeah, fuck,” Boris nods in agreement just when the same couple that had turned to glare at them a while ago was just standing up to leave, they stop there clearly horrified at the language from such a young child. 

“Fuck off and leave,” he tells them because honestly if there was any point in a child’s life where he should be allowed to swear, this would be the moment. 

The woman gasps in outrage before telling him “You are a horrible example for your kid, it’s no wonder why he doesn’t have any manners”. 

“You don’t fucking know anything so why don’t you just follow my advice: fuck off and leave before I stand up,” he responds automatically, he could hear Boris trying to muffle his laughter unsuccessfully. The man looks like he is about to say something but then Sirius acts like he was going to stand up and then the man takes the woman by the arm, they get out of the restaurant as quickly as possible. 

He doesn't break eye contact until they are out of sight.

“Sorry,” he says but all Boris did was finally let out his explosive laughter before shaking his head as if he is telling him not to worry about it and Sirius didn’t know how not to worry about him right now, he waits until the laughter would die down again, “so where are you staying?”

“Orphanage,” he responds with another shrug, “it’s nice, I mean-I been without a house before so it’s better than nothing, yes?”

“Yeah,” he responds quickly but it’s like more and more questions pop up inside of his head, “do they treat you well?”

“No one beats me if that’s what you are asking, I mean the staff is nice but it’s hard to live with so many people, it’s crowded,” he responds as he stuffs himself with another slice of pizza, “and I know I won’t get adopted but it’s better than nothing, once I was in Ukraine and I was living in the street and there was this big black car - anyway that doesn’t matter, the point is I almost got kidnapped so it’s good to just have a place to stay.”

“You don’t know that,” he says, and Boris looks confused like he doesn’t understand what he is saying. “I mean you could still get adopted, there could be a family who would want you, there has to be, right?”

“No, I’m too old,” he didn’t sound hurt or desperate, he talked like this was just another fact of life. 

“No, you are not-”

“Yes, I am,” he repeated, “people want babies”. 

“You are technically a baby” he felt like he was about to start ranting about how he knew that Boris was young as soon as he saw him, he might be tall for his age but he has a baby face, he is clearly young, clearly a child who clearly needs help, a home or just someone.

“I’m eleven, that’s old,” he said it like it was a death sentence and there was no other way around it, “but that’s okay, it doesn’t matter if no one wants to take care of me, I can take care of myself, that’s why I work”. 

There are a lot of things going through his head after he hears that, the first one is that this kid shouldn’t be working but he knows that won’t mean much because he still has to do it, then also that he is not “too” old, that was his exact age when he went to Hogwarts for his first year and that’s young, extremely young and he doesn’t know how people could look at this kid and think he is too old to be taken care of. 

The rest of the dinner is quiet even if they do end up making comments here and there, he pays the bill and then remembers what Boris told him about how he needs to pay a guy, he doesn’t completely understand his business but he doesn’t give him the money right away, he insists on driving him there instead, he looks annoyed by this, like Sirius is going to ruin his image at work, but at the end, he gets on his motorcycle and they arrive there. 

He had imagined that the person Boris would meet was a scary forty year old man but instead it’s just some teenage girl with long hair with split ends smoking a cigarette, that asks Boris if Sirius is bothering him but after she is reassured that nothing weird is happening, she walks away counting her money. 

“So I guess this is goodbye then?” Boris says as he turns to look at him and Sirius feels some type of dread that starts at the pit of his stomach.

“How about I drive you to the orphanage?” he offers because the idea of little Boris walking around in the middle of the night with money in his pockets terrifies him. 

“Okay!!” he says as he climbed back into the motorcycle. 

Boris guides him all the way there and it feels like time is going faster and faster by the second, coming closer to that place, a part of him wanted to find a way to convince Boris to stay for a little longer because the idea of sending him back makes him feel physically ill but before he knows it, Boris says “Stop!! it’s here!!” 

He helps Boris to get off the motorcycle and to climb the fence, he can’t believe he does this every time he sneaks out during the night and that he does it on his own, he sees him from the other side of the fence smiling at him like he is getting ready to say something. 

“Hey, take this,” Sirius offers him some more cash through one of the holes of the fence. 

Boris takes the cash and puts it inside of one of his secret pockets that he has in the jacket and looks up at him beaming before saying “Thanks for everything, Sirius”. 

“Hope to see you again, kid,” he says. Boris nods before he runs inside the building, he turns around to wave at him a couple of times but this time it does feel like a goodbye. 

He stays outside for a while, not sure of what he is doing there, he is freezing and he already knows that Boris made it home safe and it’s late so he should head out to his flat, right?

Right. 

Sirius regrets coming to his flat as soon as he walks through the door because even if he is inside everything still feels cold and empty, he lays on the couch, then on his bed and then onto the floor, first as a human and then as a dog but he still can’t sleep, he starts to look for something to read, only to find one of Moony’s old newspapers and he sees the headline, he doesn’t recognize the name but he does recognize the last name so he starts reading. 

The newspaper doesn’t mention Boris by name but it does mention two things that Boris didn’t mention, the first thing was that his dad hadn’t just killed a man in New Guinea but multiple people in different places, the second one was that the circumstances Boris was living in were horrible enough to get his dad charged with child abuse, they don’t get into the details but all he keeps thinking is Boris saying that his dad wasn’t a good person and that he was too “old” to have another family but he could have another family, he should have another family, someone should step up and take care of him.

Oh my god. That someone should be him. 

Right? It makes complete sense, he has enough money and time to take care of a kid, Boris is not an infant, he wouldn't have to wake up every night to change his diapers or to sleep train him so this is something he could totally do, he has a perfectly good bedroom that he could use and he can do it, he is an adult and they really clicked tonight so why not? 

He actually doesn’t really sleep that night, instead he looks for his papers and looks for his best suits to wear tomorrow morning, he thinks of how much he is going to have to bullshit on the paperwork and he is already making up a cover story, he is hoping that the people that work there would just want to get Boris off their hands and won’t pay too much attention to some of his more sketchy details. 

When the morning actually arrives, he is already out of the shower, clean and shaved and well dressed, he doesn’t want any reason to be turned down, he doesn’t know why he is so worried about that and there should be no reason for that to happen, he is an adult, a very responsible adult who wants to give a child a home and has the means to do it. 

So that’s what he is going to do. 

He still eats his breakfast because he imagines that the process might take all day so he might as well feed himself, he thinks of bringing Boris some food because he got the impression that the kid is always hungry but decides to ultimately not do it because it might look weird for him to bring food to a kid that he "hasn't met yet". 

Oh fuck it, he'll take him some pudding cups. 

He walks inside of the building feeling confident until the first person he talks to takes one look at him and tells him that they are not looking to hire new people. 

"No, I'm actually looking to adopt," he says expecting for the woman to change her tune but she is still looking at him like he just told her a bad joke "No, I'm actually serious". 

_Ha. Inside joke_.He passes all of his paperwork to her and she looks convinced this time. 

"I want to adopt an older child," she looks up from the papers, "like let's say an eleven year old". 

"Why an eleven year old?" she asks him, confused.

_Because yesterday I met an eleven year old that reminded me a lot of myself, and I couldn't sleep thinking about how someone should take care of him and I had an epiphany, that someone should be me_.

“I was eleven when I left my home for the first time” he is technically not lying, he did leave... for boarding school but she doesn’t need to know that, “to put it simply, I never had a good relationship with my parents and I want to adopt an eleven year old because I know that those are the kids less likely to get adopted... and I know better than anyone what it’s like to be a kid that nobody wants so yeah... that’s why I’m here.'' 

That’s all true, like he said he is not lying. 

The lady looks up at him with a heartfelt smile, like she is actually moved and she might cry but quickly composes herself as she takes a second look at his papers. “Alright, please follow me, Mr. Sirius Black”.


	2. What are you doing here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For me? I’m fine.” he raises an eyebrow before realising what Sirius might be trying to do and it makes him panic. “You can’t tell him about my job, I know you might think that’s the right thing to do, but if you throw me under the bus like that, they might send me to somewhere worse like a reformatory and I can’t-”
> 
> “No, I would never do that to you,” he says as he puts his hands on Boris’s shoulders, “I’m here to adopt you”.
> 
> It takes a second for that to sink in and even when it does, all he can respond is, “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: Mentions of ended friendship, mentions of past physical child abuse and scars, mention of skipping breakfast, mention of police showing up in flashback, suicide threat, child malnourishment mention. Let me know if anyone wants other content warnings.

Boris hates waking up early in the morning. 

For a lot of reasons really: he slept late last night, there is nothing to do except look at the ceiling until breakfast is ready, and because all he can think about is Theo. 

He wonders what Theo is doing right now. Sometimes he likes to imagine what he is doing. Today for example is Saturday so Theo is probably still asleep, he'll wake up and make breakfast with his mom, Theo will sneak Popchyk food, and when they are done then they'll take a walk down the park, the two of them holding hands and wearing sweaters.

When they come back home, they'll sit on the living room, Theo will put his head on his mom's lap while she reads a book out loud for the two of them, or maybe he will watch cartoons. 

He is happy that Theo gets to have that, he is happy that Theo and his mom are together again because that was the only thing Theo had wanted, he knows that Theo would be feeling better now, so he should stop thinking about Theo. He knows that Theo won't be thinking of him, and if he does it's probably only thoughts about how much he hates Boris and wishes he never met him. 

It's okay really, he has made peace with that, as long as Theo is happy then he is happy. 

Then he starts hearing the bells, which means that it’s time to wake up and get breakfast, so he stands up from the bed, rubs his eyes, and starts walking away, he just wants to get to the breakfast table before the tea turns cold.

But he is already on his way there when Mrs.Johnson stops him with a friendly smile that makes him feel paranoid, saying, “Good morning Boris”. 

Shit. Did she see him sneaking out last night? 

“Good morning Mrs.Johnson, how are you today?” he responds with an equally friendly smile.

“I’m doing well, thank you very much,” Mrs.Johnson responds. “Did you have a good night's sleep?" 

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHE KNOWS. 

“Yeah,” he responds, he is not going to give himself away this easily, there is a chance she is just being nice to him. 

“Oh that’s great,” she says, looking down at her clipboard, “Mr.Kremer wants to see you in his office right now, we’ll save you some breakfast, is that okay?” 

Fuck. He is screwed, totally fucked, they must have found out that he sneaked out last night. 

“Great, I’ll be right there” he responded turning away from her. 

FUCK. 

Honestly the part that pisses him off the most isn’t that he was about to miss breakfast and drink cold tea, but the fact that he was going to have to sit through a lecture by Mr.Kremer. He already went through one of those before, it was after an interview with a couple that said they were interested in adopting an older child but honestly it was obvious that they meant a six year old at most.

He doesn’t know why they had called him or thought he could win that couple over, they were obviously wasting everyone’s time, but when he had pointed it out, he got called to see Mr.Kremer in private, he remembers how Mr.Kremer let out an exasperated sigh before giving a concerned look and saying, “Boris, don’t you want to get adopted?” which basically meant, “It’s like you didn’t even try”.

Which well, yeah, he didn’t try. What’s the point of trying if they are not going to want him anyway?

It’s not like he doesn’t want to get adopted but he knows that kids his age never get adopted, he has been there for six months already and the only one his age who has left is Gyuri and it's not like he was really adopted, his aunt moved to England and said that she wanted to take him in, it's not the same. 

It really sucks because Gyuri was his only friend here but still, he is happy for him.

And Gyuri sent him a letter telling him where he is living and that the place is nice, that he is going to go back to school, his aunt works at a cafe as a waitress,that’s where he stays most of the time, and that he hopes one day Boris can drop by. 

He couldn’t go this week because he didn’t really have any money, but next week he’ll go. 

If the place hopefully doesn’t add more security. 

The door is already open so there is no point of knocking but he stops himself when he hears a voice from inside. 

It’s a familiar voice telling a familiar story.

"I live off my uncle's inheritance–" 

No fucking way. 

“–but in my free time I work for a nonprofit organization.” 

Oh, well that’s new. 

“Oh, that’s lovely, what is it called?” 

“The Order of the Phoenix,” he says. Boris wants to yell bullshit because that thing sounds made up, it sounds like an illegal tattoo parlor, but he is way too curious, so he knocks on the door. 

“Come on in!” Mr.Kremer says sounding a little too eager, and as soon as Boris opens the door the man is already up from his desk. “Boris, thank you for coming, there is someone I want you to meet”. 

He turns and Sirius is sitting there, he looks nervous but as soon as they make eye contact he grins and for a second Boris gets an urge to go up to him, hug him, and ask him how he was doing like he was a friend that he hadn’t seen in a long time, instead of an adult that he met yesterday and hadn’t seen in seven hours.

“Hello my name is Sirius Black.” He introduces himself with a handshake.

Well that’s new, he didn’t know his last name. 

“Sounds made up, like a made up name that a teenager would put on his fake I.D.” He can feel Mr.Kremer stiffening next to him but then Sirius cracks up and he visibly relaxes.

“Well, I’m sure my parents would be delighted to hear that,” he says, amused, before tilting his head and asking “What’s your name?”

“My name is Boris Volodymyrovych Pavlikovsky” he says because he doesn’t remember telling Sirius his middle name and this way now both of them know something new about each other so they are even. 

“Volodymyrovych,” he says it like he is making sure he is pronouncing it the right way, “I like it, it suits you”. 

He didn't knew how to respond to that, people usually don't even try with his name.

"Thanks, your name also suits you." It's mysterious, kind of fancy, but overall it sounds cool. 

"Didn't you just say that it sounds like a teenager made it up for his fake I.D.? " he says jokingly. 

He still thinks it is. 

"Yeah but like a smart and sophisticated teenager who wanted to use it for fun stuff." 

"Oh that's so nice of you to say." He is smiling as he leans in like he is about to tell him a secret when he says, "You know yesterday someone told me that my parents didn't love me and that's why they named me like that". 

Now the two of them are laughing, he doesn't even want to look at Mr.Kremer because he might have to explain why they find this funny and how is he going to explain that him and this "stranger" have inside jokes? 

“Alright, I see you two are getting along” Mr.Kremer says, sounding awkward and jittery but also excited at the same time. “I have to go for a second, Boris, do you think you can stay with Mr.Black for a second while I... run some errands?” 

Boris wonders if Mr.Kremer thinks that he is dumb, does he seriously think that he is not going to notice that he is trying to set up an interview right under his nose and he won’t notice it just because it’s not in that yellow low-lit room...

He is about to say that out loud, but he looks at Sirius and silently nods instead. 

“Great,” Mr.Kremer says chipperly before taking a folder that is on his desk, “I’ll be back in a few minutes”. 

Mr.Kremer leaves the room with door partly opened. Sirius opened his mouth but Boris shushes him quickly, doesn’t he know that he could still be listening outside? 

Fucking Amateur.

Boris walks towards the door and peeks out to see if there is anyone outside, but there isn’t, so he is able to turn around and gives Sirius the thumbs up. 

“Thanks kid,” he whispers before beaming, “It’s good to see you”.

Boris smiles back at him before thinking, _Oh, well, fuck it_.

He moves to pull him into a hug, he is expecting him to give him a quick pat in the back and pull away, but instead Sirius hugs him back gently and tightly, the type of hug that someone doesn't want to let go off. 

Still, he has to pull away because this reunion feels too fucking emotional already and Boris shouldn’t feel so emotional about a stranger, he should have learned that by now. 

“Dude,” he says as he pulls away, “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m here for you,” he says it like it is obvious but Boris doesn’t understand what he is trying to say.

“For me? I’m fine.” he raises an eyebrow before realising what Sirius might be trying to do and it makes him panic. “You can’t tell him about my job, I know you might think that’s the right thing to do, but if you throw me under the bus like that, they might send me to somewhere worse like a reformatory and I can’t-”

“No, I would never do that to you,” he says as he puts his hands on Boris’s shoulders, “I’m here to adopt you”.

It takes a second for that to sink in and even when it does, all he can respond is, “What?”

“I said I want to-”

“No, I heard what you said, I just - it - you don’t make any sense,” he splutters, not sure what else to say, there are too many thoughts running crazy in his head, but the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, “I’m not a dog”.

“What?” He lets out a shocked laugh, letting go of his shoulders like somehow Boris is the one is saying crazy things. 

“If you are doing this because you are lonely, then just get a pet,” he says, feeling like his face is heating up in shame for saying that wrong, “that’s what I was trying to say”.

“Alright.” He stays quiet for a second before adding, “What makes you think that’s why I’m doing this?”

“Because yesterday you said your parents hated you and you had no one to eat with,” Boris responds, it’s sharp and mean, he knows, but this guy should know what he is getting himself into. 

He doesn’t flinch or get angry, he nods before giving a shrug and saying, “Fair, but I’m not doing this because I’m lonely, I’m doing this because yesterday you said you didn’t have anyone to take care of you-”

“No, I said I can take care of myself!” he spits out and crosses his arms, feeling defensive and taking a step back.

“I know that, Boris, I can see that, but even though you are very capable, you shouldn’t have to do it all by yourself. I want to take care of you and I know I can do it.” He sounds determined like he really wants this and it’s making this harder than it needs to be. 

“Just because you fed me once doesn’t mean that you are ready to be a father, let alone my father, you don’t even know me,” he is responding more aggressively than he probably needs to be but he doesn’t care right now, “besides you lied to me! Yesterday you said you didn’t work! Now you are here saying that you do! How do I know that you are not lying about anything else?!”

“I didn’t lie,” he replies calmly and earnestly, “yesterday you asked what I did for money, I didn’t think you cared about my volunteer work, I'm sorry". 

Boris doesn’t know how to respond to that, there is still something fishy about this, something isn’t right and he can feel it, he is not being crazy or paranoid, there has to be a reason why this guy wants to adopt him so badly? It can’t just be because he wants to. 

He just sits down in one of the couches in the corner of the office, his arms still crossed, and Sirius sits down next to him. “Listen I know we don’t know each other very well and I probably didn’t give the best impression last night-”

“I didn’t say that,” he says, just because he doesn’t want him to think that he thought he was an asshole or something like that, “it was a good impression, you were nice and I had fun, but I don’t think you know what you are doing”.

Sirius snorts. “You might have a point there, I had to ask a woman to help me to finish all the paperwork, so I don’t know everything, but what I do know is that I’m doing this because of all the right reasons. I know that we don’t know each other very well but I swear, I don’t have any ulterior motives, I just want to give you a home”. 

Boris doesn’t know how to answer that, no one has ever offered anything like that. It still feels like it’s a lot to take in, he looks down at his hands, not sure of what to do, and it takes several minutes before he decides on a whim to hold Sirius’s hand. 

“Are you going to do interviews with other kids?” he asks, and Sirius looks at him like he doesn’t understand what he is trying to say, “You have to have interviews with other kids, those are the rules”. 

He hopes he says that he won’t do those interviews because he might like one of those kids more than him, he might change his mind.  
“I think I can convince them that I’m sure i want to adopt you and that I won't change my mind,” he responds like he was already making a plan, but then he adds, “I almost forgot, I brought you something”, and reaches in his bag to pull out a pudding cup.

He remembers the pudding cups from yesterday, and he almost doesn’t want to take it because he feels like it’s more than just accepting a pudding cup, it means more than that, or at least it feels like it does, because it’s Sirius basically telling him that he was thinking of him, that he remembered that he liked them and maybe it’s even a promise that when he adopts him... when he has a home then he’ll be able to have all the pudding cups that he wants. 

It’s a promise of a happy future, one where he can also wake up late during Saturdays and watch cartoons with his head on someone’s lap.

What would Theo want him to do? _He hates you-_ No, back when he didn’t, what would he want him to do? _Back then he wanted you to come with him to New York, to go to the-_ Well, he can’t fucking do that right now, can he? 

_He would have wanted you to be safe, to have a good life_. 

That last part doesn’t feel true, it feels like it’s something Gyuri would say: to go with Sirius because he’ll regret it if he doesn’t, that not everyone is out to get him and that people deserve a chance. And he would have closed his final argument with: 

_I may not have met this Theo guy, but after everything I heard, I know one thing: He never wanted you to stay with your father, he wanted to report him remember, didn’t he?_.

Yeah, Theo wanted to go to the police but then Boris told him that if he did that then he would be sent away and they will most likely never see each other again. 

Ha, it’s funny how things work sometimes? Theo wanted to protect him but Boris wanted to protect his dad and at the end he lost both of them. 

_Exactly, you have nothing left to lose and this person is offering you an option, so why not?_.

Yeah, that’s what Gyuri would have said, he would have made it sound so simple. 

He looks back at Sirius who is still staring at him expectantly with the pudding cup in his hand and he thinks of his father just for a second, to think of what he is leaving behind, he remembers when his dad hit him,everytime he did that he would apologize, sometimes he would get him presents and money, even hugs sometimes, he remembers that one time he thanked Theo for taking care of him but then he thinks of all the scars on his left arm that still haven’t even finished healing yet, he even forces himself to look at them discreetly but he thinks Sirius notices, still he doesn’t give him enough time to react because his next move is snatching that pudding cup from his hand.

“Well since I’m missing breakfast because of you” he says, trying to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, Sirius opens his mouth but he doesn’t let him finish, “it’s okay, you can make it up to me when I move in”.

Sirius looks shocked, but he is also smiling, like he isn’t sure what he did to convince Boris but he is glad it worked. 

"I promise that I'm going to bring you home as soon as possible" he sounds ecstatic, and Boris wants to explain to him that it's probably going to take days, if not weeks (if not more) before Sirius can officially adopt him.

He doesn't get the chance to say anything really because Mr.Kremer is back with more papers, and seems eager to get them to Sirius, when he sees them sitting together, he looks so pleased and happy with himself like if his giant master plan was coming together. 

Boris would point out that it was actually Sirius’s plan but he decides to stay quiet instead. 

“Thank you for staying Boris, you can go to eat your breakfast now,” Mr.Kremer offers with a friendly smile. 

_Oh, sure, now you can just throw me out, don’t mind me, I’ll just go to drink my already cold tea_.

He hides the last pudding cup inside of his jacket and when he stands up to go outside, he gives Sirius one final look before walking out of the room. The last thing he hears Mr.Kremer saying is “So should I set up the interviews?” 

Boris feels tense before closing the door but then he can hear Sirius say “No, I don’t think that it’s going to be necessary”. 

He relaxes after hearing that and leans closer to the door but all he can hear is Mr.Kremer is talking to Sirius about boring legal stuff now so he thinks it’s safe to stop paying attention and finally go to eat breakfast, hoping to get some bread and sugar or at least to get some decent scraps, almost everyone is gone but it’s not like he minds eating by himself, besides he still has his pudding cup which is something that he is actually looking forward to eating. 

But as soon as he sits down and starts to finally eat, he sees someone walk through the door and he almost drops his piece of bread.

His social worker Mrs.Winkle is here, he is so surprised he has to double check that it is really her and not some other redhead with big thick glasses. 

Here? On a Saturday? 

He takes a bite of his bread and stands up, runs towards her. One of his housemothers stops him, grabbing him by the arm and telling him to finish his breakfast but instead of arguing he yells out “Mrs.Winkle!” loud enough for her to turn around and look at him. 

He startles her, she almost drops all the papers in her hands and her glasses almost fell off her face when she jumped but then she turns to look at him and stared directly at the house mother as if she was silently asking why was she grabbing him. 

“He has to eat his breakfast, he hasn’t finished it yet,” she explains but let's go immediately.

Mrs.Winkle looks back at him and puts one of her hands on her hips which meant that she was frustrated but she takes a deep breath before saying, “Come on, kid, I’ll sit down to eat with you, I haven’t eaten breakfast either and I think that Mr.Kremer can wait”. 

She sits in front of him, uncomfortable since the chairs are made for kids and she is quite tall but she does it anyway and adjusts her glasses. Seeing her like this brought back memories from six months ago, when he was alone in the hotel room his father had let him in, he woke up to banging at the door, and opened it expecting his dad to be back from work but instead it was seven cops, who barged into the room and one of them yelled in his face, _Your dad has been arrested, do you understand?_. 

That’s when someone took him by the shoulder and pulled him aside, it was Mrs.Winkle who looked the same as she does right now, like someone who just woke up, her hair is a mess that she is constantly pushing off her face, constantly rubbing her eyes and straightening her clothes. He remembers the way she leaned down, put her jacket on him and repeated the same thing the cop had said but her voice was soft and she added,_I’m so sorry honey,_ which he appreciated. 

“Here you go,” she says, bringing him back to the present, she is splitting her sandwich in half and giving him one part. 

“Thank you,” he responds but he can’t bring himself to eat. “Not that I’m not happy to see you but why are you here? On a Saturday of all days?”

She sighs and puts her sandwich down before saying, “Well, two reasons. The first: Mr.Kremer called me to talk to me about something, and the second is that I also have news for you, I was going to tell you on Monday but I thought why not kill two birds with one stone?” 

“Good news or bad news?” he asks right away, she winced. 

“Both?” she says hesitantly before taking her folder and opening it for him. “So I looked up all of your possible relatives, but I found none that were alive or able to take care of you which means that you don’t have to go to Poland or Russia or anywhere, you get to stay here, good, right?”

He almost doesn’t know how to respond to that. It’s not that he isn’t happy to hear that he didn’t have to go back there or go anywhere, especially now that Sirius is getting ready to adopt him, but all he can think about was the first time they talked, how she had bought him a hamburger and asked him if he had any other alive family members, she had softly and carefully suggested, _Maybe in Poland or Ukraine-_

And how he had snatched the food from her hand before saying, _If you even think of sending back there, I will kill myself_.

She had looked so taken aback and scared at that point, and it’s not like he stopped there, he told her exactly how he was going to do it, that he was going to throw himself off a bridge, and he remembers how her voice sounded so strangled after that like she didn’t know how to continue the conversation from that, and now she sounds the exact same way.

“Yeah, that is great news,” he says making an effort to sound chipper. “But I told you before that I had no one besides my dad”. 

She winced again. 

“What?” he asks. She sighs, she did that often around him, that’s the one thing he doesn’t like about her, most of the time she looks sad, frustrated or tired in front of him.

“Your grandmother is alive but she is in a nursing home and she has Alzheimer's so she can’t take care of you.” 

“My dad said his mom was dead,” he says, finally taking a bite from the sandwich, it was good, nothing great, just ham and cheese.

“Not on your dad’s side of the family, Boris,” she says adjusting herself uncomfortably in her seat.

It takes a second for the idea to sink in and still all he can say out loud is “Oh”. 

“I’m so sorry, honey,” she says and then pats him on the back. “Now please eat, we’ll talk more later, okay?” 

He nods, and they manage to eat in silence for probably five minutes until he realizes what Mr.Kremer wants to talk to her about, at the beginning he doesn’t know how to bring it up until he sees her taking out another folder from her bag.

“Oh, is that Sirius’s folder?” he asks right away, she lifts an eyebrow suspiciously.

Dammit, maybe that wasn’t the right way to start this conversation.

“No, it’s yours but I am here because of Mr.Black,” she responds while open the folder and looking into it like she is making sure she didn’t miss anything. “Mr. Kremer says that you two met”.

“Yeah, I met him this morning,” he says nodding, thinking that maybe he should say that he likes him but he doesn’t know if that would help Sirius’s process. “Did Mr.Kremer say anything about him?”

“Not much, that he is young, that he is rich, that he wants to adopt an older kid like your age,” she is looking directly at him now, “that you two meet and got along”.

“I do like him, he seems like a good guy,” he responds and she hums like she is taking that as a mental note. “I know that probably doesn’t mean a lot to you-”

She takes another deep breath before saying “Boris, why do you think that?”

“I know that you have access to my therapy sessions and that you know how I feel about my dad, I know that it’s stupid that I still care about him-”

“Boris, it’s not stupid” she said shaking her head but Boris doesn’t buy it, she is lying, even he thinks he is stupid, he spent so much time defending his dad, looking out for him when he didn’t even-

FUCK. This is not the time for this.

“It is and i know you must think that I don't have the best judgment-” 

“You don’t have bad judgment, you are just a kid, a sweet and loving kid, your dad just couldn’t see that,” she says it like it is obvious, “you weren't the problem, he was”. 

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, it sounds true but it feels like a lie, he still feels like he was part of the problem, he let so much happened, he protected him so much and he did this to himself.

So he doesn’t respond, instead he returns to his food and remembers the pudding cup and comes to a realization. 

“I think he can see that," he says, she looks at him confused as she puts down her paper, "you said that my dad just couldn't see that, well, I think Sirius can". 

“It seems like you have taken a liking to him very quickly, he must be pretty special,” she says while fixing her papers, and then she leans forward, staring at him directly into his eyes, for a second he thinks that she is going to say that she doesn’t buy it, that this is clearly not the first time he has meet Sirius, otherwise he wouldn’t be so comfortable with him, but instead her face softens as she says “I’m really looking forward to meeting him”. 

He smiles, feeling relieved and finally opens his pudding and eats it as quickly as possible, obviously it's time for her to go, Mr.Kremer is probably stressed and looking at the door, waiting for her to walk out-

“BARBARA!” 

Or maybe he is so nervous that he came outside to wait for her. He is basically sprinting towards them, Mrs.Minkles turns around to look at Mr.Kremer, so Boris can’t see her face but he knows she is unimpressed. That’s when Boris notices that Sirius is walking towards them, he looks slightly nervous but he smiles when he sees Boris, like that’s all the reassurance that he needs for now.

“Good morning Gabe,” Mrs. Winkles says while putting her papers and folders back inside the bag.

“Thank you so much for coming,” Mr.Kremer whispers when he gets closer to her, he sounds actually grateful and offers a hand to help her to stand up but Mrs.Minkles gives him her bag and stands up by herself, she still looks unimpressed. 

“Next time you decide to call me on a Saturday, you are coming to my house and helping my daughter with her math homework,” she whispers back as she crosses her arms, Mr. Kremer nods looking apologetic. 

Sirius obviously had heard all of that, because he looks amused by their conversation, and he is looking at Boris like he is about to make a funny gesture but his face changes when he looks at him, Boris is about to whisper him, What? but before he has the chance, Sirius takes a napkin from the table and starts cleaning his mouth and chin.

For a moment, he wants to push Sirius’s hand away, Boris can clean his own face, besides there are still some kids there and he doesn’t need them to see him being babied but it feels kind of nice, Sirius trying to help him. He’s used to looking out for himself, but maybe Sirius is kind of right about how he can take care of himself but shouldn’t have to- ah, but he doesn’t need to tell Sirius.

Mrs.Winkles smiles at them, Boris can see her making a gesture that he can’t quite recognize but he has seen a couple of times, he can tell that she is at ease for a moment but when Sirius turns to look at her, she changes her expression to a more serious one as they shake hands and Mr.Kremer introduces them to one another. 

“It’s really nice to meet you, Mrs.Winkles,” he says, completely courteous, “Thank you so much for coming today, specially since I heard today was your free day”.

“Oh, don’t worry, it was no trouble” she says politely as she takes out her folder. “It’s really nice to meet you too, now that we've all introduced ourselves, let's get down to business”.

He feels his stomach clench because he knows that after this, they’ll be getting back to the office and he almost wants to glue himself to the ceiling to listen to everything that Mrs.Winkles is going to tell Sirius, he knows that she would never say anything bad about him but she is going to be honest about him and for him that is somehow worse.

Still when they tell him that they have to go, he gives Sirius a hug before letting him go with them.

Well, not really, he just waits for them to be completely out of sight. 

That’s when he stands up from the table and runs behind them, and then he waits for them to walk inside of the office and close the door so that he can lean his head against the door to eavesdrop. 

He doesn’t know how much he has missed out of the conversation but he can make out Mrs.Winkles saying, “Well, for starters I need to see your living area to see if it’s suitable for a child," and he can hear Sirius responding in a confident and assured way that she should schedule that day as soon as she can. 

Boris almost wants to yell at him to take his time to hide anything that he might not want her to see, but instead when Mrs.Winkles asks him if Monday is okay, Sirius just responds that the sooner the better. 

GAH!!!

Honestly he is sort of annoyed that Mrs.Winkles get to see Sirius’s house before he does, after all he is the one that is going to live there, he imagines that either Sirius lives in this huge Victorian creepy looking house or in this modern apartment that is quite expensive. 

Or maybe somewhere in between. 

He stays there and waits to hear everything that Mrs.Winkles is telling Sirius, stuff about Boris and adoption. She asks Sirius if he is aware of Boris’s family history, he says that he does know, he read it on the news, which makes Boris want to laugh but he keeps quiet. She asks if he has an spare bedroom, he says he does but doesn’t have an spare bed, but he can sleep on the couch and Boris can get the bed until he finds another bed., She checks his financial history and it turns out Sirius is rich, but Boris could have told her that just by looking at his motorcycle. 

Then they go back to talking about Boris but this time it is about his health, she explains stuff to Sirius that Boris has already heard, that he is malnourished so they need to work on a diet that contains the right amount of nutrients, that he has to see a dentist about his teeth, and that he needs to stay in therapy right now. Sirius doesn’t really say anything, all he does is hum agreement, that is until she gets to the last part and suddenly Boris wishes he could see Sirius's face so he could know what he is thinking. 

“Well, any questions?” he hears Mrs.Winkles ask.

“None, I got it, he needs nutrients, new teeth treatment, and therapy,” Sirius responds simply. 

“Good,” Mrs.Winkles sound satisfied with that answer. “I’ll see you on Monday, Mr. Black”. 

When Boris hears that, he knows that he has to go because the door is about to be opened, so he runs outside to the playground. He sprints his way out of the building, almost tripping at one point, but he gets to the swings and sits there, he is pretty sure that if they found him there, they would believe that he has been there the whole time while they were talking. 

He is quiet as he sees them walking down the halway. Mrs.Winkles waves from afar, he assumes that her husband must be waiting for her outside, and he is expecting Sirius to do the same but instead he walks towards him, some kids look confused to see him there but most of them shrug it off and continue playing. 

“Hey buddy, have you been here the whole time?” 

Boris gives an innocent nod, Sirius smiles before laughing and sitting on the swing next to him. “Nice try, I almost believed that but I've practicing the fine art of eavesdropping since I was six, I know all the tricks and remind me to show you all of them because you are using the oldest one, talk about amateurs”. 

Boris feels slightly offended and he is about to reply that the only thing that Sirius has ever eavesdropped on were his parents' conversations about what they were going to get him for Christmas, but then he remembers how Sirius had said more than once that his parents didn’t like him. 

So instead he just says, “I can totally picture you doing that as a six year old, like just doing that and running around in your mansion or palace or wherever you were living.” 

Sirius cracks up when hearing that. 

“Well, running around wasn’t allowed in the mansion,” Sirius responds, making him snort. "Don't worry you'll be able to run as much as you like in our flat". 

"Cool," Boris says, still wondering how Sirius’s place looks like, but now he is more focused on how his life is going to be there. "What won't be allowed?" 

Sirius’s expression changes like he didn't actually thought about that.

Boris almost laughs because of course he didn't. 

"Honestly you are allowed to do anything you want at our place, except for one thing." 

"Let me guess I can't go into your secret chambers" he says, moving back and forth, "before you ask, yes I am implying that you are a vampire".

“A vampire?” he says laughingly. “Why not a werewolf?”

“You are not cool enough to be a werewolf,” he says which Sirius finds way funnier than Boris thought he would. 

“Oh I have a friend who is going to love that joke” he says with a chuckle, “but that’s the type of thing that I won’t allow in our house”.

“What? Werewolves?” 

“No, those are welcomed,” he responds, this time Boris is the one to laugh, “what I meant is that you don’t get to question my coolness”.

Boris snorts and nods before asking “Alright, what else won’t I be allowed to do?”

He lowered his voice as he quickly says, “Work”.

Boris almost misses what Sirius said, but he managed to make out the word perfectly, he starts to feel feels anxious, looks down at his feet andstartes to swing back and forth.

“Before you say anything,” Sirius says it like he already knew what he was going to say “I just think that it won’t be necessary for you to work, I have enough money for both us and there is no need for you to do it-”

“Well, what if the money runs out? You already said you don’t work,” Boris says without stopping but he can see Sirius is calm like that idea doesn’t bother him at all, he isn’t concerned about it, Boris could bet his left lung that this guy had probably never ran out of money. 

“You don’t have to worry about money or any of that, I’m going to take care of everything” he says earnestly without trying to stop Boris from swinging, his dad would have already gone to hold the swing chains and stopped him abruptly before yelling at him.  
He would have apologized next morning though, and he would have given him 200 dollars if he had gotten a split lip. 

Boris stops himself slowly before nodding in agreement. “Okay”. 

“Yeah?” Sirius sounds like he expected it to be harder than that, Boris nods. “Okay, cool”. 

“So, what else?” he asks him as he continues swinging.

“Oh, that’s it,” Sirius says but then he tilts his head like he is thinking about it, “I mean you do have to go to school, you know that, right?”

“Oh yeah, I can do that, I like school, it’s something to do, they give you free food, and I like taking books from the library, don't worry I always return them”.

“That’s great,” Sirius sounds relieved, “I guess that means I don’t have to add no stealing to the list, huh?”

“I’ll be honest with you, there are probably a lot of things you want to add to that list but I think that Mrs.Winkles will catch you up,” Boris waits for his calm demeanor to change into a regretful or hesitant expression, maybe a little horrified, but instead Sirius nods camly. 

“Looking forward to it.” He is quiet for a second before asking, “You think that they will let me see you tomorrow?”

Boris shook his head, he was surprised by how disappointed Sirius looked but nobody is allowed to come on Sundays. The first time Gyuri’s aunt came to see him was during a Sunday, and they didn’t even let her in to see him, all they could do was talk through the bars that separate the playground from the streets, it was sad to watch and he didn’t want to put Sirius through that.

“But hey look at the bright side,” Boris nudges him in the arm, “You have more time to go home and hide all of your weird vampire stuff.”

Sirius laughs and shakes his head as he said, “You are really convinced of your vampire theory, aren’t you?” 

“I just know you are not a werewolf,” Boris jokes and Sirius doubles down laughing, he isn’t sure why the werewolf jokes made this guy laugh so hard. 

But hey, as long as he is laughing, that’s what’s important. 

“Well, you are right about that.” Sirius is still smiling but then his expression changes when noticing that Mr.Kremer is giving him a hand signal that meant that it was time for him to go. 

Sirius stands up and so does Boris, before he has enough time to feel self-conscious, he takes his hand He looks up at him, expecting Sirius to be uncomfortable or to shake his hand off but he doesn’t, he just smiles at Boris and then walks him towards the door of the orphanage.

Mr. Kremer joins them while they walk, Boris wishes that he wouldn’t but he is the one with the key, he is glad that at the very least he is quiet even if he does look uncomfortable and awkward by the silence.

Boris expects Sirius to only make a sad face and say “goodbye” but instead he crouches down and pulls him into a strong hug, it takes a second for Boris hugs him back, even if it still takes a second for him to process it, he even considers snuggling, but Sirius pulls away in that exact moment.

He ruffles his hair and stands up, Mr. Kremer and him share pleasantries before Sirius leaves, Boris waves at him before walking back towards the building, and Mr. Kremer gives him a pat on the back as they walk back inside.


	3. Moving In.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that I haven't mentioned this before but the reason why this AU started because my friend skypalacearchitect mentioned it how Boris is exactly how Sirius would look like in Hogwarts days, we starter talking about their similarities and here we are.
> 
> She also helps me with these chapters, she is the best :).
> 
> Content warnings: Mention of alcohol/drinking and underage drinking, mention of canonical incest (not portrayed as a good thing), mention of murder (Boris's dad's criminal activities), mention of family disowning, mentions of running away, mention of child homelessness.

When Sirius hears the doorbell ring, he jumps out from where he was sitting on the couch, he doesn’t even check who it is because he already knows. 

“Good morning,” he says to Mrs.Winkles who is just fixing her scarf and taking off her gloves like she was expecting to have at least a few more seconds before he opened the door. 

“Good morning Mr.Black,” she says politely as she puts her gloves inside of the bag and takes out a notepad and a folder.

“Please, come on in,” he moves aside so that she could get in, and the moment she steps a foot inside of the flat, he feels anxious and self conscious, not even sure why, he has hid every single thing that it’s related to magic and he knows there is no way for her to find it, the place is clean and he even got rid of the alcohol just in case, so there is literally no reason to be worried.

Of course as soon as he thinks that, she starts to write a note on her notebook, Sirius tries to look over her shoulder but that’s when she turns around to look at him. “I checked your personal information and there you said that you don’t have a phone”.

It’s not a question, still he nods, he doesn’t know how to explain that a phone didn’t seem like an essential thing to have until right now, she flipped the page of her notebook and took another note. 

Fuck. 

“You need to get one as quickly as possible, the school needs to have a quick way to contact you if Boris is sick or in trouble,” she rips the paper from her notepad and gives it to him, “go to a payphone and call this place and ask for Mr.Mendel Hughes, tell him that his wife sent you, that it’s urgent and then he’ll guide you through the rest”. 

“I...Thank you,” he says, not sure of what else to say, she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand as she turns around to continue to look around the living room.

She doesn’t say anything else, only comments about how she liked his vinyl collection, she looks behind the couch, under the coffee table, opens a couple of drawers, before she seems satisfied and then turns around to inform him that she needed to see the rest of the flat. 

Sirius guided her towards the kitchen but before they even get there, she asks him “Do you drink?”

“Yes but only on special occasions.” It’s a half truth, he knows, but it’s closer to the answer she wants which is probably No, i don’t drink at all, which would be a complete lie so this is better by comparison.

“It’s okay if you drink,” she says, looking up from her notes, “but you have to put your alcohol in a place that Boris can’t get to”. 

At first he doesn’t know how to ask the question that has formed in his head but it feels like it just spills out of his mouth: “Does he drink?” 

He expects her to get freaked out,to say that it’s just a precaution, expects that she is going to scoff and say, _How could an eleven year old drink? Is he insane?_. 

But she doesn’t do that, instead she nods stiffly. “Well, he used to but he only started last year and he hasn’t had any since he got here, so there is that”.

Sirius nods, processing what she just said, he wants to ask her if she is sure about that, he assumes that she is only saying that because she thought that Boris didn’t have any access to alcohol and technically he didn’t, but she didn’t know that Boris snuck out every night. 

Obviously Sirius is not going to say that, he just nods and promises to keep his alcohol as far away from Boris as possible and she nods looking mildly pleased before continuing looking around the kitchen while Sirius follows her, she takes a couple more notes and before he knew it they are out of the kitchen and going into the next room. 

“I know you live on your own,” she says as they walk down the hallway towards his bedroom, “but are you seeing anyone right now that might want to move in with you eventually?”

“No, I’m single.” He is expecting her to ask more questions about that but instead she lets out a relieved sigh which he took as a good sign which surprises him, yesterday Mrs.Johnson who had helped him fill his papers with his personal information had mentioned that they tend to look for mainly married couples.

“Great,” she took another note and he is wondering if she was going to explain why that was a good thing when she says, “I’m just checking because I need to know who is going to be around Boris, now do you live near your parents?”

He almost laughs because there is no way in hell that he is going to let his diabolical family anywhere near Boris, specially not his psychopath second cousins that should have never interbred in the first place. 

But he can’t say that, obviously, but still he has to answer this question so he does it all at once so that she won’t ask anymore questions about them, he tells her, “I was adopted by my best friend’s parents when I turned 16, they live nearby and I visit them often but I’m not in contact with my biological parents”. 

“I understand, my biological parents sucked too,” she says with a shrug. He snorts, mildly shocked by her response but she continues like she didn’t noticed “So tell me how did your parents react to the news of them becoming grandparents so soon?” 

“Pretty well, they are excited,” he lies, he hasn’t told anyone about Boris yet. 

No, not even James.

“And your brother?” she asks like she is reading his mind. 

“James is thrilled,” He says because he knows that when he eventually tells him, he will be.

“I’m glad,” she says while taking other notes as she walked inside of his bedroom.

The conversation stops again, as she starts to look around, open drawers the same she did with all of the other rooms, except this time she checks every single drawer like she is looking for something and Sirius feels a little paranoid because he thinks she might run onto one of the things he has hidden but thankfully she doesn’t and he tries not to look relieved because that might look suspicious.

He also shows her his private bathroom so that she can look at it as well, she looks in the cabinets and even inside of the tub before coming out and asking to see what would Boris’s room be. 

It’s right next to Sirius’s room and was supposed to be a guest room that he had been using as a closet but he had managed to take everything out of there and put it in his room to create more space for Boris, the only thing left in the room is an empty closet and a matching empty dressing table, he had thought about decorating it but he thought that Boris would want to do that himself, the only thing he added to the room was a toothbrush and new clean towels in the mini bathroom. 

She doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, he thinks it’s because there is no bed in the room which makes her nervous so he hurries to say, “I haven’t had the time to get a bed, I know I should have-”.

“No, don’t worry about that” she says shaking her head as she walks in and checks inside of the closet and then walks towards the dressing table. 

“There is also a private bathroom here if you want to check it,” he offers, she nods before walking inside of it. “This one would be just for him by the way, there is another bathroom outside”.

She comes out of the bathroom with a pleased smile on her face, taking some final notes, even if her expression was content, so he asks “Everything in order?”. 

Mrs.Winkles hums in agreement before saying “Unless I find something in the other bathroom outside”. 

She goes through the bathroom the same she did with the other two and when she seems satisfied, she walks out and says, “Everything seems to be in order, I think we are done”.

Sirius wants to jump with happiness when he hears that even if he knew that the place was already clean but instead, he says, “Great, that’s great, so when do I get to take Boris home?”. 

She turns around to look at him slightly confused like Sirius had grown a second head, which Sirius takes a sign that he won’t be able to take Boris home for a long time. 

He can’t stop from saying, “But I thought that things went well”. 

Mrs.Winkles shifts in her feet like she is looking for something to say and the way she is looking at him is similar to the way McGonagall looked at him, it wouldn’t have bothered him if it wasn’t because she is looking at him like he is a little kid who needs help. 

It bothers him because she is not that much older than him, she is probably in her 30s.

He is about to point this out when she says, “There is a way for you to you to pick up Boris tomorrow and for him to come live here with you-”

“Seriously?” he says shocked, he is about to ask her why couldn’t she have just started there but then realizes that might play against him.

She nods but her expression hardens as she says, “BUT you would have to follow a few conditions”.

“I would do anything,” he says as quickly as possible.

“Yeah, the first condition is that I have to come and check how Boris is doing every two weeks, the next time I’m here he should already have a bed, have new clothes, be in school, and have visited the dentist and the nutritionist.”

“Yes, I will do all of those things!!! I remember nutrients, new teeth treatment, and...therapy” he leaves that part for last, not because he has forgotten but because he wants to ask if it was completely mandatory but Mrs.Winkles starts talking again.  
“I have talked to Boris’s therapist; he says that he would be more than happy to continue his sessions once he has been adopted, you should give him a call and the next time we see each other you should have at least already scheduled a meeting,” she says, taking a card from her folder and giving it to him, he doesn’t have to ask her about therapy anymore, her tone and the way she is looking at him lets him know it is mandatory.

“I’ll do it as soon as I can, I promise,” he says taking the card without even looking at it, he did say that he would do anything. 

“Alright.” She nods. “I’m also going to need a couple of recommendation letters from people who know you personally”.

Fuck.

“Sure, should I also have those ready in two weeks?”

“Yes,” she nods and he nods back. 

All he can think about in that moment is still, Fuck, because he is not sure what he is supposed to do now? 

It’s not that he thinks his friends wouldn’t have anything good to say about him, he is just sure that they are going to think that he is making some crazy decision without thinking things through, that he is doing this on a whim, and okay maybe that’s partly true, but he knows that this is the right thing to do. It’s just that convincing them might take some time, specially Moony, he is sure that he is going to think that this a bad idea and he is too irresponsible for a kid, but he knows that he can convince them, he just needs time.

“You need to be at the orphanage at 6 a.m.” Mrs.Winkles says before shaking his hand “bring all of your paperwork”.

And he doesn’t have time right now.

“I’ll be there,” he says as he continues to shake her hand, he almost gets an urge to hug her because he knows he is getting special treatment, that this isn’t usually how she does things and he really appreciates that, but instead he says “Thank you”. 

“You are welcome, Mr.Black,” she says before letting go of his hand and she starts putting her gloves back on, “I have a meeting, I will see you tomorrow, don’t be late”.

The way she said, it sounded more like _Don’t make me look bad._

“I’ll be there six o’clock,” he insists nodding as he walks her towards the door, she gives him a final smile and walks out of the door. 

Sirius collapses on his couch, not sure of what to do now, he is happy, obviously tomorrow he would go and bring Boris home, but now it felt like he had all this pent up energy and now has nothing to do with it. 

Until he realized that there was something to do. 

He stands up from the couch, grabs his coat, rushes out of the door and got on his motorcycle, he has something to buy.

Honestly he can’t believe that he almost forgot to get Boris a helmet. 

-.-.-.-  
Sirius actually manages to do a lot that day, he goes to buy the helmet, actually calls Mrs.Winkle’s husband who says that he will install his house phone the next Monday and even considers calling the therapist but decides to go eat lunch by himself instead. 

He could have technically gone home hours ago but instead he waits in front of the orphanage to see if Boris might go to work tonight, he is not stupid, he is not going to follow Boris around, he would recognize Sirius.

But he wouldn’t recognize Snuffles.

He waits there for a couple of minutes and he is not surprised when he sees Boris starting to climb the fence, he is not mad, he is just worried, and he just wants to make sure that Boris is going to make it back to the orphanage in one piece.

Boris climbs the fence and when he is already coming down, he loses balance and falls on his butt.

Sirius cringes but Boris doesn’t make a single sound, he just stands up and keeps walking quietly with his hands inside of his jacket pockets, even if Sirius wasn’t close enough to look at him, he can tell that the jacket wasn’t thick enough to warm him up, he is shivering and his teeth are chattering.

The first thing that he was going to buy Boris when they went to look for clothes was going to be a big fuzzy jacket to keep him warm in cold nights like this.

Eventually they make it to a familiar street, the same one in which they saw that teenage girl a few nights ago, she is there at the same bench in the park which they saw her the other night, but tonight she is with a tall guy with blonde hair, Sirius stays behind a tree while Boris walks towards them.

“Hey Myriam, Hey Shirley.T” he says and acknowledges the guy that is standing next to her with a nod, the guy does the same gesture.

“Hey, you are late.” She takes a backpack from the guy’s hand. 

“Sorry I wasn’t there on Friday, I had a cold,” Shirley says apologetically.

“It won’t happen again, I talked to Evan, he said that when Shirley.T is not here, then he would go with you and make sure that you don’t get bothered by assholes, don’t worry, he won’t take your money and if he-”

“That won’t be necessary, I’m here to quit” Boris sounds determined even if he is still shivering and looks so small in comparison to Myriam and Shirley.T.  
Sirius looks at the two teenagers and waits for their reaction, not sure of what they are going to do, he just sees the guy looking at Myriam like he is waiting for her to give him a sign but she doesn’t look at him.

“Why?” she asks, Sirius can’t really recognize if she is concerned or if she is just pissed. 

He is expecting Boris to be defensive and tell her that’s none of her business but instead he says “I’m getting adopted”.

“Oh,” She sounds shocked and even takes a step, he wishes that he could see her face. “Congratulations”.

“Thank you.” Boris says, even from here Sirius can tell that he is shivering, he can’t tell if it is from the cold or because of fear, there is a long pause of silence before he speaks again “so what do I have to do to leave?” 

Myriam and Shirley.T looked at each other for a few seconds before Myriam turns to Boris, she shrugs as she said “Just go”. 

“Yeah?” He looks unsure, even Sirius isn’t sure they would going to let him go that easy. 

“You are not a snitch, you won’t tell anyone about this,” it’s not a threat, it sounds more like her just stating facts but he can see Boris nodding, “So yeah, you can go”.

“Alright” he doesn’t move for a couple of minutes like he was waiting for something but eventually Boris says, “Goodbye then”.

He turns around and starts to walk away, Sirius starts to follow him but he keeps his eyes on the two teenagers, when he sees Myriam whisper something to her friend and then stand up from the bench she was sitting in, he isn’t sure of what she was going to do but he is prepared for everything. 

“Wait! I’ll walk you home!” she says as she catches up to Boris.

Well, maybe not everything. 

Boris doesn’t look uncomfortable or tell her not to walk with him, instead he waits for her, and when the two of them start to walk away, Sirius continues to follow them.

At the beginning neither of them says anything but it seems like it was comfortable silence, the two of them are taking turns kicking a small rock that they found, he isn’t sure which one of them had started it but he is sure that it wasn’t important. 

“So you are getting adopted?” she says out of the blue, Boris nods. “Do you know by who?”

“Yeah,” he responds quietly before adding, “he is a good guy, I like him, I think he is a good person and he has money which is a plus”. 

“Cool but just in case he is not,” she replies, kicking the rock in his direction, “you know where to find me, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Boris stays quiet for a few seconds before adding “but he is”. 

Sirius can’t help but to feel touched when he hears Boris defending him, he waits to hear what she is going to respond, but she doesn’t argue with him and they keep going in silence again. 

Finally they get to the orphanage and Sirius stands behind a bush, he sees Myriam crouching down to hug Boris before patting him in the back and helping him to climb the fence but right before he goes, he sees him passing her a roll of dollars. 

“Take it,” he insists but she doesn’t move. “Seriously, it’s like only part of what i have, it’s like a goodbye present”. 

“People are supposed to give you goodbye presents, not the other way around,” she argues but then Sirius sees her quickly take the money like she might regret it if she doesn’t. 

“Take care of yourself, Boris” she insists, he can't see the other side so he can’t see what Boris is doing and Boris didn’t respond out loud, so he just imagines him waving the same he had done the first night Sirius dropped him off. 

He is going to wait for her to walk away so that he could change back but just in that moment, the bush moves like someone had just kicked it, he steps back and he  
saw Myriam looking down at him with an accusatory look in the face that makes him feel caught but her face quickly softens. 

“Oh I’m sorry pup, you scared me, I thought you were a bad guy but it turns out you are a good boy, aren’t you?” she says in some sort of baby voice as she crouches down and carefully starts to scratch behind his ears, Sirius doesn’t really know what to do at that point but he leans against her hand. 

Sirius looks at her face, somehow yesterday she had looked older, yesterday he knew that she is a teenager but looking at her right now, he realizes that she must be the same age as Regulus, she couldn’t be older than 16. 

“Hey, you can’t take this one, you already have one at home!” someone yells but she doesn’t look worried or afraid so Sirius doesn’t worry but he is only completely relaxed when he sees Shirley.T standing next to her and not some stranger, he also leans in and starts petting his head, they keep doing that for a few minutes before Shirley.T straightens up. “We need to get going”. 

“Yeah” she responds but keeps scratching behind his ears and making funny faces at him, she doesn’t even move.

“He is going to be okay”

“Oh I know, he is well taken care of, he obviously has an owner, probably just went for a walk and to pee-”

“I meant Boris-” 

“I don’t care-”

“You do and it’s fine but we should be happy, right? This person is going to take care of him-”

“We don’t know who this person is,” she says turning to look at him and she was flipping her hair so fast that it almost hits him in the face, “How do we know that? This is some man that we know nothing about.”

“You are talking like we were going to be able to take care of him, we wouldn’t have and this person can,” he crosses his arms looking stiff and uncomfortable like he didn’t even want to have this conversation. “It’s probably a good man”, 

Myriam laughs humorlessly. “Yeah,Boris is getting adopted by some millionaire with a heart of gold, a monocle and a mustache because those people actually exist”. 

Sirius didn’t know if he should be offended by that or glad that they cared so much about Boris. 

“I’m just being optimistic,we should just hope for the best, right?” Shirley.T says putting his hands on his pockets, “besides he knows where to find us right?”

“Right” she says as she takes out the money Boris had given her like she is analyzing it, she puts the money back inside her pocket, “Let’s go”. 

Sirius tries to follow them because he thinks that since they cared so much about Boris, he should make sure that his son’s friends make it into their home in one piece but before he knew it, a car stopped in front of them, they both of them jump in and disappear into the night. 

He stays there for a couple of minutes before leaving, he hopes that they made it home okay. 

After all, all he can do is hope for the best. 

-.-.-.-

The next morning he is ready and outside of Mr.Kremer’s office at the exact time that Mrs.Winkles had asked him to, but she had already been there before he arrived, it was very early, part of the staff hadn’t even arrived yet and the kids weren’t even up yet so there was no way to talk.

He kept on nodding off, he thought that any moment now he was going to fall asleep and fall on the floor.

Just in that moment, the door opens up and Sirius stands up from his seat, straightening his suit, Mrs.Winkles smiles as she let him inside the room, it seems like this time she was the one that had woke Mr.Kremer up early, his hair was messy and his suit was wrinkled.

Mr.Kremer wastes no time, he explains to him the same conditions that Mrs.Winkles explained to him yesterday, and while they go through all the legal documents that he has to sign, he tells him that he can call a lawyer if he has any questions.

He actually only has one question about it, but he doesn't think he'll need a lawyer for it "What happens if Boris’s father comes back? I know that his father is in prison but he could-”

“He lost custody, besides I don’t think he cares about Boris, he only tried to contact him for the first two months but once it was clear that Boris would not testify in his favor during one of the trails, he stopped,” Mrs. Winkles is trying to look calm but her tone gives away that she is fuming with anger.

“Besides I don’t think that there is any way for him to get out of prison, he was already declared guilty of more than one murder,” Mr.Kremer explains, for a second, he looks like he is trying to count how many but eventually gives up as he stands up to serve himself a cup of coffee, “so I wouldn’t worry about him”. 

Sirius nods after that, satisfied with that answer before he looks at the different papers and starts to sign each one of them, he is almost surprised when he realized that an hour has gone by.

Mr.Kremer smiles pleased before walking out to talk to a woman, he can’t hear clearly what they are saying but the woman squeals in delight and basically sprints,  
Mr.Kremer closes the door and sits down again in his desk, offering him a cup of coffee while he waits, he takes the cup even if he doesn’t think that Boris is going to take that long to come here.

He proves to be wrong, an hour passes by, but finally Boris walks inside of the office, he had obviously taken so long because he had showered, changed clothes and packed his things - even if it was only a backpack it must have taken a little while. He has this look of astonishment in his eyes like he can’t quite believe this is happening and when he looks at him, it’s like his smile grows three sizes as he runs towards him and pulls him into a bone crushing hug. 

He is shocked for a second before hugging back, once he does that Boris leans into his shoulder and whispers into his ear, “Who did you bribe?”

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh because it had crossed his mind that he was probably going to have to pay someone to speed up the process, but he obviously can’t say that answer because Mr.Kremer and Mrs.Winkles are right there.

After pulling away from the hug, Boris stares at him with this skeptical look in his eyes as he asks him, “So we can just go?”

“Yeah” he responds reassuringly but Mrs.Winkles clears her throat, he almost rolls his eyes at that but he says, “Mrs.Winkles is going to have to come once a month to make sure I’m going to be treating you right but right now, yeah, we can just go”.

Boris has this uplifted look in his face, but he still looks back at Mr.Kremer and Mrs.Winkles for a confirmation, the two of them realize that quickly and they both nod at once.

“It has been really a pleasure to meet you, Boris”, Mr.Kremer says as he offered to shake his hand but Boris went for a hug instead, he gave him a pat affectionately on the back as he pulls away.

“Thank you,” Boris tells him before throwing his arms around Mrs.Winkles next, taking her by surprise.

“Boris, we are going to see each other again,” she says even if she is hugging her back.

“I know but still, thank you,” he says, ducking his head as he pulls away and takes Sirius’s hand.

“Yes, thank you,” Sirius repeats as he squeezes Boris’s hand.

“No problem, I’m just doing my job,” she says even if her facial expression said _do not blow this for us_

He only nods before he takes the rest of the papers and puts them in his bag, he gives Mr. Kremer a thankful look but isn’t able to say anything else because Boris is pulling him by the hand, basically taking him out of the room.

Boris has a strong grip on his hand and as soon as they left the room, he starts sprinting, Sirius barely manages to keep up with him, he is running like people were going to try to stop them.

He doesn’t even stop once they go through the main door, he keeps running until Sirius tells him that his motorcycle is actually parked in front, that’s when he stops, almost out of breath as they turn to walk across the street, he actually makes sure that there are no cars passing by before crossing the street. 

Once they are on the other side, Boris squeezes his hand while he looks at a café, he even leaned his head against one of the windows to look at the inside, Sirius is not really impressed by the place, it’s nice but not that great to look at, but he guesses that the food there must be really good since it’s crowded.

“Are you hungry?” he asks even if it is obvious.

“Always.”

“Is the food good here?” he asks Boris who is still looking through the window.

“I don’t know,” Boris responds while shaking his head, “It only opens during the morning”.

“Oh, I see,” Sirius says remembering that in the whole time that Boris had been in England, he had only been outside during the night “Well, what do you said if we go in and figure it out?”

Boris looks up at him and beams as he nods, they buy two cups of hot chocolate and some biscuits, but the place is so crowded they end up eating it at a park nearby, they sit at a bench as they eat the biscuits, he worries that Boris might burn his tongue, after all the chocolate feels burning hot but Boris insists that’s how he likes it.

“This is good, but you know what is even better? Bread with sugar,” Boris says casually as he takes another one of the biscuits.

“I never tried that,” Sirius responds, he could picture his mother horrified at the idea of him eating something like bread with sugar, “we should try it for tomorrow’s breakfast”.

“Can you cook?” Boris asks tilting his head curiously. “It’s okay if you can’t, you just look like the type of person who doesn’t, like you either eat out or you have someone who does it for you”.

He feels called out by that because it was partly true and he can tell that Boris knows that; he is looking at him amused like waiting for him to deny it as he takes another one of the biscuits.

“I do go to restaurants a lot, but I know how to cook, I only learned a couple of years ago” Sirius says honestly, Boris accepts it as he takes another sip of his hot chocolate and he gets an small milk moustache out of it, he cleans it with one of the napkins, “I bet you already know how to cook”.

“Yeah” he admits with a simple shrug like that’s obvious, like he was saying _If I don’t cook then who is going to do it._

“You probably had butlers and shit”.

“No, we just had a house-elf,” he answers like it’s obvious, before he realizes that Boris doesn’t know.

Shit.

“What?” he asks curious and amused like he is waiting for Sirius to tell him a funny story or explain a joke that he wasn’t in, like he is saying Come on, I want to laugh too.

Fuck, if he doesn’t explain it, Boris is going to keep asking until he did tell or even worse…he wouldn’t trust him anymore.

Fuck it, it’s truth time.

“I have to tell you something and it might be a little shocking,” he puts his hands on his shoulders trying to reassure him that it was nothing bad but Boris’s eyes widen in fear and panic, he was thinking of trying to ease Boris into the news but after seeing that expression in his face, he decides to just say it at once, so here it goes: “I have magic”.

“What?”.

“Magic is real and I’m a wizard,” he says waiting for a reaction, but Boris just stays put, blinking his eyes repeatedly and frowning.

Boris scrunches his entire face in further confusion as he says, “Like you do party tricks? Take bunnies out of hats? Yes?”

“No, that’s a magician.”

“What’s the difference between a magician and a wizard?”

“You have to be born a wizard,” he says simply, Boris looks at him for a little longer like he is studying his expression.

“Are you- is this joke?” he responds with an amused look on his face, “you joking?”

“No” he insists but that only make Boris’s smile grow and he starts to laugh.

“You had me scared,” he responds, nudging him, still buzzing with laughter “I thought you were confessing you were a criminal- that you killed someone or worse, I would have dealt with it but still”.

Sirius is about to mention that he technically is, since he is an unregistered Animagi, but he would have to explain what that is, also he doesn’t think that Boris would believe him since he hasn’t believed him about anything that he just said.

He eventually laughs as well because he just realized that he was doing things wrong, he shouldn’t have said it, Boris would need concrete proof to believe him.

“Do you want to go to see the flat?” he asks, Boris who nods eagerly, after he eats the last biscuits.

They walk towards the motorcycle and Sirius puts on his helmet before he remembers something and says, “I got you a present”.

“Yeah?” Boris says shocked with a jubilant smile when Sirius takes out the little helmet that he bought yesterday from his bag.

He takes it from his hands surprised and happy, putting it on his head, it fits perfectly, he waits for Sirius to get on the motorcycle before he got into the sidecar, he is looking around like he can’t really believe that they are really leaving, even when the engine started and they drive away.

Sirius waits for a couple of minutes before they start flying, he knows that no matter what Boris is going to be caught off guard, but he doesn’t want to scare him and he really hopes that he doesn’t have a fear of heights that he didn’t mention. 

He expects Boris to start screaming as soon as they start flying but he doesn’t hear a single sound and for a moment he is worried that he might have fallen off somehow but when he turns to look at him, Boris is right there holding into the sidecar and looking down, with his eyes wide open in a mix of awe, incredulousness, and anxiousness. 

When Boris looks back at him, he laughs with an expression of wonder as a nervous laughter escapes him like he still can’t quite believe it, Sirius smiles back at him before he looking back forward and makes sure that they make it back home in piece. 

Once they land on the ground, he gets off the motorcycle but Boris is still sitting on the side car, he looks up and then down at the ground again like his brain isn’t finish processing yet, he tries not to laugh but he can’t help himself from finding his reaction amusing. 

He crouches down as Boris takes off his helmet. “So do you believe me now?” 

Boris nods even if he still looks shocked and he starts spluttering with laughter. “I still can’t believe it”.

He stays quiet for a second before whispering, “So you are really wizard?”

“Yeah,” he responds like it’s not a big deal even if he can feel that he is blowing Boris mind “Cool, huh?”

“Yeah, very,” Boris replies without missing a beat, finally getting out of the sidecar, Sirius helps him with his backpack as he stands up. “So you were serious when you said that you had elves helping you around with stuff in your house or was that a wizard inside joke?”

“I have always been Sirius,” he says, expecting for Boris to roll his eyes but instead he laughs some more shaking his head.

“Alright, that’s funny but I mean like are you for real?” Boris asks with curiosity.

“Yeah, that part is true, house-elves serve one family for a long part of their life,” he answers, Boris blinks surprised and proceeds to take his backpack from him like he had just remembered something, “but before you get excited, I don’t have any house elves, my parents used to have one, his name was Kreacher, you would have hated him”.

“To be honest I find the whole thing kind of creepy,” he says as he reaches for his hand, Sirius holds it automatically even if he thinks that he might have been going for the backpack instead but when Boris doesn’t pull away, he simply guides him towards the building, “I don’t have to meet your parents do I?”

“Oh, fuck no, I would never do that to you” he says all at once, and Boris looks up at him with a sorry look in his eyes. “Don’t feel bad, I’m better off without them”.

“I don’t feel bad for you, I feel bad for them, it’s their loss” Boris said with a content tone of voice, Sirius doesn’t know how to respond to that, it makes him want to crouch down and give him a hug but he doesn’t want to make Boris uncomfortable so he just smiles at him instead. “So, do you cook with magic or like you do your stuff normally?”

“It depends, for example Mrs.Potter is the one who taught me how to cook and she did it without any magic involved”.

“Is she like your aunt or something?”

“She is more like my surrogate mother, well to be honest she is more my mother than my real mother ever was, when I was sixteen years old, I ran away from my parents’ house and went to my best friend James’s home, he is like a brother to me, eventually Mr. and Mrs.Potter adopted me,” he explains that part with a smile on his face as he remembered when that happened, it was one of the happiest days of his life, “I’m dying for you to meet them, they are going to love you”.

“Yeah?” Boris asks sounding dejected.

“Yeah, don’t even worry about it” Sirius reassures him, Boris smiles even if there is this distant look in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

Boris opens his mouth before closing it and nodding as they walk inside of the building, his doorman Ryan opens the door and gives him a weird look, but Sirius is quick to proudly say “Hey Ryan, this is my son, his name is Boris”.

Ryan looks at Boris for a second before looking back at Sirius and finally returning his gaze at Boris, giving him a quick smile and a wave as they go towards the elevator, he can hear him mumble something about kids raising kids these days, he is not sure if Boris heard him until they are waiting for the elevator and he turns around “Just so you know I’m adopted, if he was my biological father then he would have to had me at 8 years old, maybe you should learn how to do your math before sticking your nose in other people’s business”.

Sirius doesn’t even know what to say, he doesn’t think that there is anything else to add and the elevator is already there, surprisingly it’s Boris who takes him by the hand as they go inside of the elevator.

Once they get inside of the flat, Boris walks in as he examines the place and with this inward smile on his face like this is exactly how he pictured it, he stops in front of the conversation pit.

Sirius hadn’t paid to get it built, the old owner was the one that asked for it and the beginning he wasn’t used to it, he almost fell inside of it a couple of times during his first weeks living there but it was nice to have when his friends came over, good for game nights and just dinner parties.

Eventually it grew on him. 

He expects Boris to say something, maybe jokingly ask him how many times he had fell inside of it or jump inside but he only stands there, he looks at it in silence, lost in thought.

“Do you like it?”

“I had a friend in Las Vegas who had one of those” he responds before looking away from it. 

He doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing but then he sees Boris’s face light up when he sees his vinyl collection, he looks at them marvelling, he takes out one of the records before putting it in back into place, Sirius is about to tell him that he can play it if he wanted to but he is already walking towards the kitchen. 

Sirius lets him go through the kitchen, part of him wonders if Boris is looking for alcohol but he doesn’t say anything and Boris just ends up walking out perfectly content with an apple in his hand.

He shows him where the bathroom is and before he can show Boris where his room is, he accidentally walks into Sirius’s room, well, he still has to see it so it’s not really a problem, he turns on the light because Boris can’t reach the lightswitch without jumping.

“Oh wow, so you are really rich then,” Boris says putting his hands on his pockets. 

He snorts “What makes you say that?”

“You have two T.V.s in your house, you have a big closet,” he responds matter of factly as he sits on the bed and looks around, sees the private bathroom’s door, “and you have two bathrooms”. 

“I have three bathrooms,” he replies, Boris raises his hands as if to say _Are you kidding me?_, Sirius laughs at that. “Do you want to see your room now?” he offers, Boris stands up and follows him to the next room.

He opens the door for Boris to walk inside, he sees him look around as he settles down the backpack on the night table and makes sure not to hit the lamp, he is looking up at the ceiling and at the walls, he seemed to like it.

Sirius still tells him, “Don’t worry I’m getting you a bed soon; I just haven’t had enough time-”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it, I’m just going to sleep on the conversation pit”

“No, I’m going to sleep on the conversational pit, you are going to sleep in my bed.” 

“Hey whatever man, it’s your house,” Boris says playfully.

“Our flat,” Sirius clarifies, and Boris beams, looking slightly touched but trying to hide it by looking for something else to focus on, Sirius decides to give him a hand by offering, “If you want we can repaint the room, any color you want”.

He looks back at him thoughtfully before saying “Green, yes?”.

“Anything you want, kid” he says right away, even if green is not really his cup of tea.

Still, he thinks that the color would look good in this room and would match the furniture that is already there.

After Boris sees the bathroom, he asks him if he can unpack, Sirius nods like it should be obvious, then he realizes that he might be asking him to leave but he doesn’t get to say anything because Boris starts to unzip his backpack and take everything out of it before putting the backpack inside the closet.

Sirius looks at Boris’s stuff that he left on the dressing table, he wonders what he had been able to bring from home, he wasn’t able to take much when he left his parents’ house, he decided to keep it practical but he was 16 back then; if he had left that house when he was twelve (and he thought about back then) he would have taken some of his toys (five exact toys, like he said he had given it some thought).

But there is nothing resembling a toy in Boris’s things, he sees a hoodie, an old t-shirt with a logo that he can’t really recognize, even if he is far away he can tell that it was too big for Boris and some pajama pants, a plastic bag with a pair of sneakers that look like you could easily tear them apart, a big red book that also seemed to be in an awful state, another plastic bag with a lot of underwear in it and a jar full of money.

“Oh, I can explain,” Boris says when he catches him staring. “I did have other clothes but I mostly packed underwear because- well, I didn’t know where I was going and I thought well if the place sucks, I’ll just go and live on the street, so I packed a lot of underwear because normal clothes work for a very long time, even if they start to stink, but underwear if you wear it a lot, it falls apart”.

Sirius doesn’t know how to say that he hadn’t even thought about that so instead he says, “That’s very practical”.

“I know, right?” Boris says sounding extremely proud of himself.

-.-.-.-

He decides to cook lunch, mostly because he wants Boris to believe him when he says that he knows how to cook, Boris insists on helping him, he passes him all of the ingredients and when they officially sit down to eat it, Boris gives him an eight out of ten and he thinks that is a win.

The two of them go through his music collection together, Boris sits there cross-legged as he says that he always wanted to have one of these but that his dad would make him move so much and his dad wouldn’t let him bring too much stuff with him so he never thought it was worth it.

Sirius doesn’t doubt the decision to tell him that “Well, now you have one”.

Boris smiles at the collection with this expression that just screams disbelief as he hears the music and sings along to it.

The rest of the day is pretty uneventful and calm, eventually it’s time for them to go to sleep, he waits for Boris to come back from his room, wearing the t-shirt that hangs off him like a sheet and the pants are also a little too big for him but Sirius has nothing else to offer, so he just gives him some big fuzzy socks that Remus had bought for him as a present for Christmas, to make sure that he wouldn’t be cold.

He is not sure if he should tuck Boris into bed or if that would make him uncomfortable, he decides to let him do it by himself, he turns off the light and they both say goodnight, he is about to go to the living room, he feels tired and is almost ready to fall asleep but before he left Boris says “Wait”.

“Yeah?” 

“Can you talk to me until I fall asleep, yes?” he asks already scooting aside for Sirius to sit again.

“Sure,” Sirius answers “I understand that it can be hard to fall asleep, I usually need to have the T.V. on or listen to music, back at Hogwarts, James and I used to talk until we drifted into sleep”.

“Back where?” Boris asks as Sirius sits down next to him.

“Hogwarts” he responds before remembering that Boris has no idea of what that is. “It’s a magical boarding school”.

Boris made a face as he said, “I thought you just had to be born a wizard”.

“Well, you have to be born a wizard to go to Hogwarts, that’s where they teach you how to use your magic”.

“So that’s where you meet James?” he says, turning to his side to look at him, he didn’t look sleepy at all, his eyes were wide open, looking at him like he didn’t want to miss something.

“I met all of my friends there” he responds proudly and fondly as he remembers something. “Let me show you something”.

He turns on the light on the bedside table, before opening the second drawer, he had hidden all the pictures inside of a box made of wood, it looked like just an ornament and the lock was almost not visible, he opens it and took out the pictures.

Boris leans in to see what he was doing, and Sirius takes out the pictures so that he can see them.

“OH MY GOD!! YOUR PICTURES MOVE!!” he says, leaning in closer to it, blinking in shock.

“Yeah.” He nods when he saw his smile grow, he looks so excited and Sirius lets him hold the picture in his hand.

“Wow,” he says, letting out a breathy laugh, clearly still shocked before he calms down and points at his face in the picture “That’s you, right?”

“Yeah, I was actually your age in that picture,” he says as Boris huddles closer to him, he looks back from the picture to Boris’s face, he can’t help but realize how much they looked alike, he doesn’t bring it up but judging by the way Boris is tracing his face on the picture, he is thinking the same thing.

“Which one is James?” Boris asks curiously.

“Your uncle James is the one with the glasses and the messy hair” he points at James in the picture, Boris looks at the picture, his smile turns from normal to pained in a second, Sirius nudges him, “Hey, what did I say? He is going to like you as soon as he meets you”.

“I like his glasses,” Boris simply says as his gaze moves from James into the next person and he points at Mooney, “I like his sweater”.

“That’s your other uncle, his name is Remus” Sirius couldn’t help to laugh thinking about the conversation they had the other day. “I think you are really going to like him, he is a werewolf”.

“What? Werewolves are real?”

“I just told you this morning that magic is real.”

“Yeah but werewolves? What else is real? Are ghosts real?” he asks before shaking his head and saying, “Wait don’t tell me, I want to be surprised”.

Sirius snorts, Boris looks back at the picture and tilts his head, pointing at Remus’s face “Are you sure he is one?”.

“Yeah” he shrugs, “why?”.

“I just didn’t picture werewolves like this,” he says, looking back at the picture, pointed at Remus in the picture, “he is cute”.

Sirius doesn’t know how to answer that, he knows that some people saw Remus as one of the least threatening-looking people alive, he thinks those are the same people that have never seen Remus pissed off.

Still he looks back at the picture and saw Remus’s little eleven-year-old face smiling happily and he smiled fondly at him as he says, “Yeah, he is”.

“And who is this one?” he pointed at Peter.

“Oh, that one is your Uncle Peter, you don’t need to worry about him, he is harmless, he is sweet and pretty gentle, I’m sure you two are going to get along”.

“Yeah, he seems nice” Boris nods in agreement. “Can I see the rest?”.

Sirius shows him all the pictures from first year to the latest ones which happens to be pictures of James and Lily’s wedding, he goes through those one slowly like he  
is trying to remember every little detail, especially the ones with James and Lily looking at each other.

“I have never seen a wedding like this” he says, Sirius is about to explain that it’s a Muslim wedding and in those exact pictures they were practicing an old tradition called Mehndi but Boris cuts him off by saying, “they just…look so happy”.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he says looking at James and Lily’s ecstatic smiles in the picture, “my parents’ wedding photos looked like my dad was being held at gunpoint and my mom had just smelled something disgusting”.

“I haven’t seen many pictures of my parent’s wedding- well only one,” he says before he looks up from the picture to Sirius’s face. 

“Do you want to see pictures of my mom?” Boris asks him as Sirius puts all of his pictures aside. 

“Sure” he responds, Boris’s face lights up and he jumps from the bed to the floor and runs out of the bedroom. 

He comes back as quickly as he was gone, Boris carefully settles a red book down before getting back into bed, it looks so old that he wonders if the text might be even legible, he can see pages basically slipping out of it but Boris doesn’t seem phased by that so Sirius assumes that it has looked that way for a while. 

Boris takes the pictures out of the book’s inner hinges and holds the pictures like they might fall apart, Sirius doesn’t try to take them from him, instead he leans in closer to see the pictures.

The first picture he shows him, Boris’s mom has her arms wrapped around him, she looks happy even if her smile is hesitant, she is holding him tightly like she is afraid that she might drop him, he assumes that the picture was taken during the first days after Boris was born because there are a few hairs on Boris’s head and he looks so small.

She looks younger than what he expected, probably eighteen, could probably pass for an older age but just like Boris, her baby face gave her age away, her hair is a mess and looks greasy like she hadn’t showered in days, her t-shirt looked dirty and there are dark circles under her eyes but he doesn’t feel like he can judge for that, he has no idea what the first days with a baby would be like.

He can totally see the resemblance, her eyes were dark brown just like Boris’s and her hair looks as wild as his and it was the same color but he doesn’t have time to mention that because Boris passes him the second picture, in this one she looks incredibly different but he assumes that some people do in their wedding day.

She is wearing a lot of makeup which does make her look in her early twenties but unlike Boris, she is not that tall and the big white ball gown that she is wearing makes her look even smaller and her hair was perfectly curled up with a veil on top of her head.

Sirius still remembers Lily’s bright smile when she married James, it even felt like her green eyes were shining.

Boris’s mom looks nothing like that, her smile looks uneasy.

She looked beautiful but she didn’t look happy. 

That's probably how Narcissa looked in her wedding day. 

“This one has my dad in it,” Boris announces giving him the picture, Sirius leans in to see the picture better, he had seen him before in the newspaper but he looked different in this picture from his mugshot in the newspaper, he looked younger obviously but it was more than that, he was clean and shaved, now Sirius can actually see how similar he looked to Boris, small boned and sharp faced, skinny and tall.

He is standing next to a rocking chair in which Boris’s mom is sitting down, holding a one year old Boris but she looks the same way she did in the first picture, she looks tired, a hesitant smile and still had bags under her eyes, the biggest difference was that she looked cleaner in this picture and actually had a good grip around Boris, like someone might snatch her sleeping toddler. 

“This one was taken before i was born” he says as he passes the next picture to Sirius, she was probably seventeen in the picture, she was wearing her high school uniform so he assumed that she was in school, it was the first picture in which she had a carefree smile, completely relaxed and wearing sunglasses, she had loosened her tie but her shirt was perfectly buttoned up all the way to the top, she had rolled up her skirt with fishnets underneath and combat boots.

Sirius can’t help but look at the picture and think that they would be friends if they had met. 

“She looks like a very cool person”.

“She probably was,” Boris shrugs while taking the pictures back inside the book. “I don’t remember her that well, most of what i remember was that she was always sulky and drunk, i think her favorite drink was vodka, but she liked to read me this book before bedtime a lot”. 

“Do you want me to read it to you?” he asks on a whim and wants to take it back immediately because this is something that was probably a intimate moment with his mom and he doesn’t want Boris to feel like he is trying to replace her. 

But before he can say anything Boris’s face lights up and he puts the book on his lap and says “Yes”. 

He curls up next to him as Sirius takes an actual look at the book and blinks surprised when he sees the title is _The Communist Manifesto,_ he is not sure what he was expecting but it wasn’t that, still he opens the book, the pastedown and the free-end paper are completely covered with doodles, mostly of hearts that seemed to have names inside of but had been scratched and roses that seem to be intertwined with spines, there was one big sticker that said “This book belongs to Edyta Nowak”. 

Boris scoots closer to him and curls up with him, resting his head against his arm and Sirius starts to read to him, he is barely done with the first page when he turns to check on Boris whose eyes are already closed. 

“Boris,” he whispers but Boris doesn’t respond “Are you asleep?”

He takes the silence as “yes”.

Sirius closes the book carefully and puts it on his nightstand next to his pictures, he tries to move out of the bed to get to the couch, but Boris has a tight grip on his arm and nuzzled against it, suddenly he can’t bring himself to move even if he wanted to, he moves the blankets to cover both of them, he turns off the lamp and drifts away in his sleep.


	4. Of Best Friends, Birth Announcements and New clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Mentions of child homelessness, child abuse in the form of neglect, mention of stealing (shoplifting) If anyone wants any other content warning, please let me know.

Boris woke up, rubbing his eyes, he felt tired and tried to hide his head underneath the bed sheets, for some reason his bed felt warmer and more comfortable than usual, the bedsheets at the orphanage were usually cold and stiff but right now they felt silky and soft, he nuzzles against his pillow, it smells like lavender. 

He slowly opens his eyes and he realizes that his snugly new pillow is actually an arm, he feels freaked out and almost jumps out of the bed when he gets his face from under the covers and sees Sirius sleeping there and he looks around the room and realizes that yesterday wasn’t a dream.

For a couple of seconds he is not sure of what to do, he doesn’t want to wake up Sirius yet, he wants to wait to see what Sirius likes to do during the mornings, what he likes to do, what he doesn’t like to do, when he’ll want him there, when he’ll want him out of the way, if he is a morning person or he is not. 

He doubts that he is but magic is real so who knows? 

Boris turns to look at him, he sleep with his mouth partly opened and he snores but it’s doesn’t bother him, it’s not that loud, a lot of the kids back at the orphanage snore as well, noise wasn’t really a problem when it came to falling asleep, he had slept on the street before and even when he was at a house with a bed, his dad had never cared if he would wake him up in the middle of the night, there had been more than one occasion when he had woken up to “strange” noises and he knew he wouldn’t be able to go for a glass of water to the kitchen so he just turned around and tried to fall asleep again.

Still falling asleep was hard once he was up, he was only able to do it next to Theo, he remembers jolting up when Theo would wake up screaming and crying, he would just put Popchyk in his chest and he would curl up next to the two of them and somehow they would all doze off in a couple of minutes. 

He wonders how Theo is dealing with the nightmares now or if he still has them. 

He shouldn’t worry- no, he won’t worry, because Theo’s mom is there now and Popczyk is still there, he is no longer needed. 

Sirius makes a weird noise that makes Boris turn his head around to look at him. He is officially up, he yawns, rubs his eyes and pushes his hair away from his face before stretching his arms, getting out of bed and lazily telling him, “Good morning, kid, what do you want for breakfast?”

Huh, morning person, who would have thought?

-.-.-.-.-

They end up making breakfast together, just pancakes, but they are different from the ones he used to eat, he doesn’t say that of course, these ones are still fluffy, smell nice and they taste good.

“So I was thinking,” Sirius says, brushing his teeth, “that today we could go get you a bed, and after we could go shopping for some clothes for you and you know we’ll just go grab lunch around there, what do you think?”

“Sounds good,” he says, taking another bite.

“Cool” he says like he was still going through a mental list of things that he still had to do “tomorrow we are going to have to stay all day because they are installing the house phone so the next day we can look for a school for you”.

“Just put me in the nearest public school,” Boris shrugs, that’s what his dad used to do.

Sirius looks unsure but he nods anyway as he takes another bite, Boris is about to say that there is nothing wrong with public schools, that he has been in many of them and it has never been a big deal but that’s when a thought crosses Boris’s mind. “Wait, do you know anything about normal schools? I mean I know you went to magic school but I doubt they taught math there.”

“Lily has talked to me about it, I’m not clueless so you don’t have to worry about that, I’ll get you into a good school” he sounds like he is trying to reassure him and Boris lets him, even if he is not really worried about that, “and no, we didn’t learn math, we had potions, charms, astronomy and history of magic, things like that”. 

“You still have to take history in magical school?” Boris says in disbelief, and Sirius nods like that’s obvious. “Fuck, I thought you guys would have it better than us, like what is the positive side of magic school?”

“No math? I heard most muggles don’t like math,” he offers as he takes a sip from his orange juice.

“I like math, I'm really good at it,” Boris argues. Sirius nods, impressed. “Also I'm good at languages but history – ugh, I hate it”.

Sirius seems to find his reaction funny, judging by how amused he looks, he expects him to ask _Why?_ or argue, but he just looks at him, tilting his head curiously as he taps his fingers against the table and nodding as a silent sign of acceptance. 

“Understood, fuck history,” he says jokingly, Boris snorts when he hears that.

They finish eating, he thinks of washing the dishes but Sirius picks them up before he is even able to say anything, he puts them in the sink and just leaves them there for later, then gives Boris a pat on the shoulder and makes a motion with his head that means Let’s go.

Sirius goes to his room to shower and change, Boris decides to do the same, it has been a long time since he took a hot shower. 

Of course, he had been able to take showers at the orphanage, there was a shower-area, that looked kind of like a locker room, white tile walls, concrete floor pitted here and rusty shower heads, there was a distance between them, but what separated one from another were blue shower curtains. But the water there was always cold and you had to be quick but the place was clean and no one ever tried to mess with him when he was inside it so he can’t really complain. 

He doesn’t think that he has ever had a private bathroom before and this one has a bath, he hasn’t been in one since- 

It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t think that he’ll have enough time to take a bath anyway, he’ll just shower today. 

For a while he just stands under the hot water, it feels like he is making sure that it won’t go away, he waits a little more before he starts to massage the shampoo into his hair, it has an special scent that he can’t really recognize, it takes a few minutes before he decides to check the bottle and realize that it Sirius bought him baby shampoo.

Boris laughs to himself before finishing washing his hair and body, he grabs two towels, they are big and fluffy, he thinks that he could use them as blankets, he wraps one of them around his wet hair as he dries his body with the other one before he starts to change, he walks towards the closet and takes out his old sneakers and puts them on. 

He eyes his backpack and unzips it to make sure everything is there but when he does, some of his other things fall into the ground, nothing breaks, everything that fell onto the ground were papers, some that he should throw away, he had kept all of the articles on the newspapers that mentioned his dad, he had written notes there, he was trying to figure out a way to find out in what prison he was so that he could send a letter. 

He should probably throw those papers out. 

For now he just picks them up and puts them back inside of the closet but when he is in the middle of that, he sees the opened light blue envelopes, he smiles before taking the last one Gyuri had sent, it was written on graph paper with purple ink.

_Dear Boris,_  
_This is just a letter to catch you up on how bored I am. _  
_I have started to learn how to knit in my free time. I’ll probably have to go back to school soon. My aunt Lucy has agreed that she won’t take me to a place with uniforms, thank god. _  
_The apartment that we are living in is nice, nothing fancy of course but it’s comfortable and I have my own room, we might be able to re-paint it next week, we are still buying furniture and the neighbors are this old married couple that are always complaining about how we make too much noise._  
_The last time they knocked at my door, I wondered what would you tell them? _  
_Probably “fuck off” and then close the door on their faces. _  
_My aunt Lucille is working at this cafe/restaurant as a waitress, I’m sending the letter from there, I’m usually there when she has her shift, it’s not that bad, there is a TV and like I said I have learned knitting so I always have something to do when she is there and it’s only for a couple of hours, her shift is only on the weekdays from like 4 to 8, so I have my weekends free. _  
_What about you? Are you bored out of your mind without me already?_  
_I really hope you are okay._  
_Till next time. _  
_Gyuri :) _

Boris smiles before he checks the envelope again, he can see the address right there, and then he puts the envelope in his pocket, he thought about the taking the first one that he had sent, that had the address of the place Gyuri was staying in but decides that it would be easier to convince Sirius to go to this restaurant instead of just telling him to go to some stranger’s house.

There is a knock on the door and Sirius says, “Hey, can I come in?”

“Sure” he says, feeling weirded out. This is his house, of course he can walk in. 

Sirius opens the door, he is dressed more similarly to the first time they saw each other, he is wearing a black leather coat, Boris could see that he has a Queen t-shirt under it with black jeans and combat boots that looked like they were in perfect state, Boris had similar shoes to those when he was in Las Vegas but he had left them behind in Theo’s bedroom.

“Need help with the hair?” Sirius offers, breaking him away from his thoughts. 

He nods thinking that he is only going to dry it with magic, but instead he runs out and comes back with a brush and a weird container that Boris can’t really recognize, but to be honest it’s not like he knew anyone that would use many hair products, he expects Sirius to explain to him what do, but instead Sirius starts carefully brushing his hair.

Boris is not sure of what to do, he feels frozen into place but he manages not to look at his reflection in the mirror, he doesn’t want to, he feels weird, he is not used to this and he doesn’t trust it.

“I don’t really brush my hair,” he admits awkwardly, finally looking at his reflection and seeing Sirius starting to apply the product into his hair patiently.

“That’s fine.” he says simply as he puts down the container on the dressing table. 

Boris is able to read it through the mirror: Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. He can’t stop himself from saying, “What the fuck are you putting in my hair?” 

He almost winces at his own words, he expects a smack in the back of his head or for Sirius to bang his head against the table, but instead all he feels is a hand on his shoulder and he hears Sirius saying, “I promise that it’s good and if you don’t like it, we never have to do this again, I promise, okay?”

Boris doesn’t know what to respond, he had actually closed his eyes in preparation, he nods as he feels Sirius fixing his hair with his hands and brushing it slightly, he only opens his eyes when he hears Sirius say “It’s done”.

He slowly opens his eyes, feeling a sense of dread disappear when he looks at himself in the mirror and for a moment all he can think about is that his hair had never looked like this before and he touches it, it feels soft and it looks sleek, kind of like Sirius’s hair.

“So do you like it?” Sirius asks nervously. 

All Boris can do is nod, unsure of what else to do, he thinks that Sirius is going to make him apologize for being rude earlier, but instead Sirius sounds relieved as he says “Yeah?”

“Yeah” he says out loud, this time looking up at Sirius with a beaming smile.

“Great,” Sirius says with this giant grin on his face, he moves aside so that Boris can get out of the seat. 

When he stands up, he notices that he didn’t put the envelope in his pocket right, because it falls out He hurries to try to pick it up but Sirius does it first, Sirius doesn’t really read it, he just picks it up and looks at it for a second, Boris waits for him to ask him what is this but he doesn’t, he just gives it to him.

“It’s from my friend Gyuri, I met him at the orphanage” he answers, looking at Sirius’s face for a reaction.

“Oh, was he adopted?” he asks curiously as they walk out of the room. 

“Something like that, his aunt was able to get custody of him and he is living with her now,” he still looks up to Sirius but he is walking behind him and so Boriscan’t see his expression. 

“Oh I'm glad,” he says, and now Sirius is turning around to look at him, “Does he live nearby?” 

Boris is not sure if this a trap, he didn’t use to tell his dad where his friends lived for many different reasons, mainly because he knew that there would be times when he wouldn’t want to be found and he didn’t know if the same thing would happen with Sirius at some point.

He doesn’t think it will come to that. 

But if he does, he guesses that he can still hide at Myriam’s, she would actually be a better choice than Gyuri’s, because there probably won’t be parental supervision there. 

“No, well, he lives too far away from the orphanage, but,” he is talking while he takes out the envelope and shows it to Sirius, “his aunt works at this place, it’s sort of a restaurant”.

Sirius looks at the address on the envelope again, Boris stares waiting for his response, searching for something in his eyes but he just seems to be reading the address again and again. 

“I think I know where that is,” he nods, grinning, “I guess we know where we are going for lunch”. 

“Really?” Boris say,s trying to hide his excitement, trying to look for any sign that Sirius is just messing with him.

“Of course” Sirius responds cheerfully and looks at him like it’s obvious that’s what is going to happen. 

Boris doesn’t know what to say, how to respond, he wants to thank him but ends up reaching for his hand and saying “Alright, let’s go now”.

Sirius doesn’t really say anything else until they are almost out of the apartment and he takes one bag from the coat hanger next to the door and then lets go of Boris hand for a second so that he can take a jacket, Boris is about to make fun of him because he can’t believe that he is so cold that he needs to take a extra layer, considering he is already wearing that giant coat but before he can even open his mouth, Sirius crouches down and helps him to put on the jacket.

“I know it’s too big for you, but it's chilly out there and I don’t want you to get sick”.

He nods, not sure of what else to do, he just stands there for a second and lets Sirius help him to roll up the sleeves of the jacket and then zips it all the way up, he reaches out to hold his hand again before making it out of the door.

-.-.-.-  
Boris had never seen so many clothes in his life, Sirius had taken him to different stores and made him try on pretty much everything that they had seen, different jackets and sweaters, a variety of shoes, at the beginning he wasn’t sure of how they were going to carry everything, but to his dismay Sirius had managed to make everything fit inside of his bag. 

For a couple of seconds, he didn’t understand how but then he remembered that magic was involved.

“So anything can fit there?” Boris asks in disbelief as they keep walking down the street. “Is it like a magic bag?” 

“Something like that, it’s actually called an extension charm. t’s like the carpet bag on Mary Poppins, it’s bigger on the inside but it looks the same, cool, huh?” 

“Very” he admits, wondering if the same charm could work in clothes, he could have used that when he shoplifted at Costco.

He decides not to say that. 

They keep walking down the street looking for the restaurant, Boris had been hungry for a while but he had waited until Sirius said that he was hungry, which was after they were going out of the sixth store, he thought about bringing it up then but that’s when Sirius stopped abruptly in front of place that made cards and invitations, he walks in completely determined to get a birth announcement for Boris. 

They actually spent more time there than in all of the stores, mostly because of the store employees’ confusion about making a birth announcement for an eleven year old and then the time it took getting all the information for it and picking a card, Boris found most of the process tedious and the only part he really enjoyed was when they took pictures for it. 

They honestly only needed one but they took many and Sirius had decided to keep all of them, Boris was thinking about getting one for his room but still wasn’t sure.  
“Wait! I think it’s there!” Sirius makes them stop, pointing at a small but cozy restaurant with poor lighting at the other end of the street. 

Boris is about to check the address when he sees Gyuri through the window. He is wearing a blue sweater and looking at a notebook with an scrunched expression on his face, and so he runs over, Boris smiles as he bangs the window to catch his attention, Gyuri looks up at first with an annoyed expression at first but when he recognizes him, his expression changes and he stands up and hurries towards the door, Boris does the same.

They both try to open it from both sides and laugh when they realize that, Gyuri moves aside and Boris can finally walk inside the restaurant and they pull each other into a hug, both laughing as they did.

“Took you long enough,” Gyuri tells him while pulling away like he is trying to get a better look at him, he looks both impressed and concerned like a part of him couldn’t believe that his business was doing well enough to buy new clothes and another part of him was worried that he was going to get caught up with all of these new things.

Boris doesn’t even know how to explain it at first, so much had happened since the last time he wrote even if it was only a couple of weeks, he hears a bell ring behind him and Sirius walks inside looking at them happily and fondly.

“This is Sirius” he says, taking his hand as he tries to find the right words, “he is my…well…he adopted me”.

Gyuri looks at him, studying him like he isn’t quite sure of what to make of him yet, he gives him a wary look as he shakes his hand and introduces himself. “Hello, my name is Gyuri”. 

“Nice to meet you, Gyuri, my name is Sirius” he says, Gyuri turns to look at Boris like if he is asking him if that is really his real name, Boris just nods once.  
Gyuri still looks like he wants to say something else but he closes his mouth when he hears someone call out his name, they all turn around to look at Gyuri’s aunt who is standing there with a puzzled look in her face like she is trying to figure out what is happening.

“Aunt Lucy, this is my friend Boris,” Gyuri says gesturing towards him, and her face automatically softens and she leaves the tray she was holding on an empty table while looking back to check that her boss wasn’t looking at her.

“Oh hello Boris, it’s so nice to meet you, I heard a lot from you,” she says with a charming smile on her face as she leans down slightly and shakes his hand, “my name is Lucille, but you can call me Lucy”.

Her hand was soft but cold and he could smell her perfume, he couldn’t quite recognize it but it still felt familiar, he thinks that it might be the same brand that Kotku used, he couldn’t remember the name, all he knew was that she stole it from the store so it must have been somewhat expensive. 

This was the first time that he was able to see Lucy so close, she had auburn brown waist-long hair just like Gyuri did when they first met but he had cut it with some old scissors and the help of Boris, her eyes weren’t green like his but they were as narrow and just as inquisitive, she was quite tall, almost the same height as Sirius. 

“It’s nice to meet you, miss,” he says after letting go of her hand and gesturing towards Sirius, still unsure of how to introduce him. “This is Sirius...my adult...person”.

“Oh, you are his legal guardian,” she says easily, shaking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you”. 

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he says smiling back at her.

“Please call me Lucy” she looks back to see if her boss has noticed and grabs the tray once again, “Come on, let me get you guys a table”. 

They end up seating at the same table Gyuri was sitting at, they order and Lucy comes back relatively quickly with their plates, it’s not great food, not really but it’s edible and Boris has frankly tasted worse and manages to finish the whole thing, Sirius doesn’t complain even if he makes a face here and there, Lucy seems to catch it when she comes over with the dessert. 

“I know, the food here is terrible, I tried to give advice on ways to fix it but I’m not really allowed to touch anything in the kitchen except to wash the dishes, the dessert is store bought though so it’s good,” she says casually as she puts down two chocolate cakes in front of Boris and Sirius and an ice cream cup for Gyuri.  
“Honestly, I think the food at the school cafeteria might be better,” Gyuri mentions before he starts eating his ice cream. 

Lucy laughs before walking away and going back to standing behind the cash register, Sirius is about to take a bite from his cake before his eyes go wide like he just realized something and puts down his spoon before saying “I’ll be right back, okay?”.

After Boris gives him a quick nod, Sirius stands up and walks towards Lucille, Boris could hear him asking what school Gyuri was going to and he just turns back to eat his own cake.

“Is he flirting with her?” Gyuri says with this distrustful look in his eyes.

“Oh no, I don’t think so, he just really wants more information about schools,” he says, quickly trying to think upt an explanation before he decides to go for an easy one, “he went to the same boarding school his whole life so that’s all he knows”.

“Oh, so he is rich” Gyuri says matter of factly and Boris nods in response “honestly, I knew he was as soon as I saw him but still it’s nice to have a confirmation”.  
Boris snorts and eats part of the chocolate cake he got for dessert as Gyuri whispers, “He is a good guy, right? Like an actual good guy?”

Boris is almost annoyed by the question, he would not be here if Sirius wasn’t a good guy, he wouldn’t put Gyuri at risk like that, but then he looks at Gyuri’s worried expression and realizes that he is only asking because he cares, so he doesn’t say anything, he just nods and Gyuri relaxes. 

“He seems like he is,” Gyuri says with a shrug “still, it’s a good thing that he is not flirting with her because she has a boyfriend”.

“Oh,” Boris says, trying to remember if he had mentioned that in any of his letters.

“I found out after I sent you the last letter,” he explains awkwardly, “I’m not sure about this but I think she didn’t tell me about him at the beginning because she thought he wasn’t going to actually come here but she does seem excited that he is”.

“Oh” Boris says again, unsure of what else to say, “what’s his name?”

“Nick,” Gyuri responds and looks like he is trying to remember the exact words. “Apparently they have been together for two years and they were living together, even had this small business thing, she didn’t get into details but when she got the call about where I was, she knew she had to come here, and there were some legal issues and she had to move here”.

“Oh wow,” Boris says in shock, he couldn’t really picture anyone doing that for him.

“Yeah, I know wow,” he says looking touched by the gesture but like he was also still processing that new information, “Anyway they sold the business and their furniture, apparently he stayed to close some details, but he is going to arrive in two days”.

“That’s good, no?” Boris asks him, before he takes a bite of his cake.

“I guess” he shrugs stiffly, “I just thought that it would be just the two of us - she says that he is not going to move in with us when he arrives because she doesn’t want me to be uncomfortable…but still it’s weird to think about everything that happened when we didn’t see each other”.

“Life, eh?” he says, raising his spoon for some sort of weird toast, Gyuri snorts before hitting his spoon with his own.

They stay there talking for a while, mostly talking and stealing each other’s dessert, and eventually Sirius’s, until it’s time to go, Boris stands up and surprises himself when on instinct he takes Sirius’s hand, he doesn’t look at Sirius in the eye after that because he feels weird by how normal it feels.

Gyuri doesn’t mention it, he only takes Lucy’s hand and waves at him as Gyuri gets inside of a taxi, they wait for them to be far enough before they walk back to where they left the motorcycle and as it drives into the sky, Boris doesn’t feel as scared as he did the first time, as weird as it might sound, he feels safe.

They make a stop at the post office because Sirius wants to sent those birth announcements but after that, they go straight to Sirius’s apartment, they start to get everything out from the bag but realize that they are too tired to organize it, they can take care of it tomorrow, Boris is glad because that means that he has time to get rid of the painting tomorrow and find a new place to put his backpack.

It somehow feels like a routine even if the pajamas are new, he still gets inside of Sirius’s bed and falls asleep with a similar position with him resting his head on his arm and Sirius still reads to him until he dozes off.  
-.-.-.-  
When he wakes up the next morning, Sirius is not there and for a second he panics, he thinks he is going to find him going through his stuff but when he runs to the bedroom, Sirius is not there and he manages to hear some voices coming from the living room.

He heard Sirius say groggily, “You are here too early, I haven’t even had my coffee yet”. 

“I haven’t heard from you in five days,” he heard the other person, an unfamiliar voice, respond, “I was worried that you might have done-” 

The guy stops dead in his tracks when he sees Boris walk in, he looks like a deer caught in the headlights, and it takes a second for Boris to realize who he is because he just woke up, but after rubbing his eyes, he sees the guy’s glasses, messy dark hair and brown skin and he knows that is James from the moving picture. 

When Sirius turns to look at him, he says in the most casual tone ever, “Oh you are up”. 

“Yeah, good morning,” Boris responds, rubbing his hands together just so that he would have something to do. 

“Come on over here, I want you to meet someone” he says sounding so excited that some of it rubs off on Boris, he walks towards the two of them and stands next to 

Sirius as he puts his arm around him, “Boris, this is your uncle James, and James, I want you to meet my son Boris”.

James has a slack jaw and blinks repeatedly for a couple of seconds, when he finally closes his mouth, he looks like he doesn’t know what to do or what to say like he is still processing. 

“I assume this means that you haven’t gotten your mail yet” Sirius says in the same casual tone that he used a couple of minutes ago. 

“You are not- this isn’t a joke is it?” James splutters looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Of course not, how can you think that?” Sirius says sounding offended. 

“Yeah, he is very serious about this,” Boris says, getting a laugh out of both Sirius and James, that’s when he realizes that Sirius just called him his son.

Suddenly, it’s like that’s all he can really think about, he can’t even pay attention to James anymore, he doesn’t know why he is so stunned, Sirius is literally trying to adopt him, it shouldn’t be a surprise but it is and it feels overwhelming.

“I’m hungry,” he says abruptly, he needs to go until this weird feeling on his chest disappears, “Kitchen”.

Boris can tell that they are looking at him but they don’t follow him, he is glad that they don’t because he is not sure what he would do, his brain feels like he is on autopilot, he walks straight to the kitchen even if he is not sure what he is going to take, he opens the fridge and is surprised when there isn’t any beer there, he closes it and settles for an apple. 

He sits on the table and he is trying to focus on his own chewing like by counting, he remembers Theo telling him that you are supposed to chew your food twenty times, so he starts counting, until he gets distracted when he hears their voices from the living room. So he sneaks towards the door and tries to eavesdrop without being seen, he takes a peek and realizes that now they were sitting in the conversation pit.

“Oh my god,” James says, letting out a shocked laugh, “I just thought about what mum and dad are going to say”.

“Honestly, I’ll be lying if I say that I haven’t thought about it,” Boris couldn’t see his face but he could hear the smirk in Sirius’s voice, “Like imagine the look on my parent’s faces when they find out that I adopted a muggle, I have sent them a birth announcement and I honestly wish that I could be there to see their faces, they are going to be so pissed”.

“I wasn’t talking about them,” James clarifies with a weird look on his face, “I meant my mum and dad”.

“Oh,” Sirius says, his voice sounded softer that time, touched, but he shrugs like it isn’t a big deal but really it is, Boris knows those shrugs, he has done that too, “I think they are going to be ultimately thrilled even if a little shocked, the lady in the store told me that grandparents' names can be included on the birth announcement if you want and I put them there, I was hoping that-”

“I think they are going to love that, Sirius,” James says reassuringly, Sirius nods, this time Boris is able to see that he is grinning. “I do have to ask, you are not doing this to piss off your parents are you?”

“Oh no, that’s only one of the pros,” he replies, James gives a nudge, to be honest Boris wouldn’t mind if he did it because of that, even if he doesn’t understand why Sirius’s parents would be particularly angry, he knows that they are not good people so he doesn’t really care if they are angry or not.

“I’m being serious-”

“No, I’m Sirius” he says laughingly getting another nudge, his voice does become a lot more genuine after that, like he is not joking anymore. “To be honest, I just thought about that yesterday, I did it because…in some weird way, he reminds me of myself at that age”.

“I mean you two do look alike-”.

“No, I mean yes we do look alike, it’s weird, but what I meant was, the first day we met, he told me that no one was going to take care of him, and I know EXACTLY what that is like,” Sirius explains, something in the tone of his voice makes Boris want to go to his biological parents and burn down their house, “and even if we had just talked for a couple of minutes, I knew that I wanted to be the one to take care of him and…I really do want to be a good father to him…I think he deserves one”.

Boris doesn’t really know what to say to that, he knew that Sirius had said that he wanted to give him a home and take care of him but he never really said why and suddenly it feels like that feeling in his chest is back.

“I think those are very good reasons to adopt a kid,” James says with this proud tone in his voice, his eyes almost shining like he is about to cry, that expression reminds him a little bit of Theo, he had that same look in his eyes when his mom came back.

“I know,” Sirius says standing up from his seat. “So I’m honestly really offended that you would think that I would joke about such a serious situation”.  
When Sirius turns around, they make eye contact and for a moment Boris is worried that he is going to be upset, his dad was always mad when interrupted his 

“meetings with his friends” but Sirius isn’t, he grins at him like he has a plan set in motion.

“In my defense I was shocked,” James says, following him, “I honestly didn’t think that out of all of us, you would be the first one to have kids”.

“Well, I am”, Sirius says, turning to look at James, “and when you and Lily have kids, I’m willing to give you parenting advice”.

James snorts but then his face changes into a more worried expression. “Hey, you don’t think that Boris is mad at me and that’s why he left”.

There is so much concern in his voice and his face is so sad, Boris almost wants to yell, _No, don’t worry, _,from the kitchen but then Sirius says “Oh I’m sure he is terribly upset, and you should make up for it by making us breakfast”. 

“Honestly, if you wanted me to make breakfast, you could have just asked,” James tells him laughingly.

Boris runs to the kitchen and sits at the end of the table, pretending that he has been eating an apple all this time.

“Hey kid,” Sirius says walking through the door, with James walking behind him, he still has a concerned look on his face even if he is smiling nervously. 

He almost want to pull Sirius aside to tell him...he is not sure of what exactly, that he cares about him too? That he is thankful for everything that he has done for him in these last few days? What had his parents done? Did he want him to burn down their house?

“Hi...dad,” he says, his voice sounds uneasy and it sounds forced, he wants to just say it but he can’t and he feels frustrated. 

Sirius puts his hand on his shoulder as a reassuring gesture and with this gentle tone in his voice, he whispers, “Hey, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want or that you are not ready for”.

Boris wants to argue that he wants to but also thinks that maybe Sirius is right and maybe he is just not ready so he just nods mostly for James’s sake, he doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable, he can tell that he is still worried that he might have hurt Boris’s feelings which he can’t help to find sweet, it usually takes a lot more to hurt his feelings. 

“Hi Uncle James” he says, this time the words do fall easily from his lips and James’s face completely softens, Boris turns to look at Sirius, worried that he might be upset but he has this delighted smile on his face so he stops worrying. 

“What would you like to have for breakfast, Boris?” James asks as he takes out an apron.

Boris isn’t sure of what to ask for, he turns to look at Sirius like he is asking for help and he nods as he turns to James, “You should make that shakshuka, I would do it but yours is so much better, it’s more similar to the one that Lily makes, I think I have to ask her to teach me how to do it again”. 

“Well, you do have bad memory and I have natural talent,” James says, putting the apron on with this smug look on his face. 

“Fuck you,” Sirius responds without heat in his voice. 

“Sirius, you can’t say that,” he whispers with an scandalized expression.

“Oh don’t worry, I say “fuck” all the time,” Boris says, making Sirius snort and James’s head drop in resignation, “I can say it in different languages, want to hear?”  
As Boris starts to list the languages and ways to say fuck to Sirius and James starts making breakfast, he feels so comfortable that he knows that even if he doesn’t feel like he is at home yet, he will eventually.


	5. An Afternoon in Diagon Alley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments, I hope you all can enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> And once again thank you to my friend skypalacearchitect who helps me with these chapters-
> 
> Content warning: Allusion towards child sexual abuse (nothing happens, it's just mentioned as possibility), mention of substance intoxication, someone being a prejudiced git against a muggle child, brief physical violence (punching), fictional prejudice & fictional slurs, murder mention, family disowning/estrangement, past child abuse, mention of parental favoritism. If any other content warning should be added, please let me know.

Sirius smiles at Boris comfortably talking to James while they eat and he feels a strange sense of happiness that he can’t really explain it, he just feels complete, like this just feels right, it reminds him of coming to James’s home for the first time, realizing that people actually like – well, love – their parents, and that this is how things are supposed to be at a good home. 

He looks at Boris happily eating his food and all he can think about is how much he wants to give him that, the same way that Mr. and Mrs.Potter did for him.

He hears someone knocking on the door and he is confused, thinking that it might be Mrs.Winkle’s husband who was going to install the phone, but then he remembered that he was going to come tomorrow. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says, standing up and running towards the door, because when he hears that exact type of knocking he knows exactly who it is. “Honestly, I gave you two a key for a reason and that was so that I wouldn’t have to stand up to open the door”. 

“Yeah and we gave you a key for emergencies and you use it to eat our food so I say that we are even,” Lily said, taking off her beanie and taking her jacket off and putting it on the coat hanger before turning to look at him with a strangely proud smile on his face before opening her arms and pulling him into a hug. 

He can’t really complain, Lily always gave some of the best hugs, always strong like she was trying to make you feel how much she cares by how she presses her arms around you, he hugs her back and they sway a little before she pulls away and puts her hands on his shoulders, “Congratulations on the baby”.

“Oh you got it!” He says remembering the birth announcements. 

“Yeah, I know he is eleven but that’s like still a baby to me”.

“That’s what I said!” Sirius says, offering her a high five, that she responds before taking off her gloves, he knows that she hates to use them but she hates to have her hands cold even more, “Just so you know, your husband thought it was a prank”. 

“To be honest so did I for a second but I was mainly a little freaked out because of the resemblance, I do want to say that he looks adorable in those pictures and I love those birth announcements, maybe when James and me decide to have kids like WAY down the line, we’ll do something similar, but for now, where is he? Can I meet him? I saw the pictures of him this morning and at first I—” she sounds excited, but then she starts fidgeting with her hands, she looks like she is sniffing looking for an exact smell, “Wait! Is that shakshuka?” 

“Yeah, your husband just made us breakfast, he is with him in the kitchen, come on” he says feeling equally excited.

“Oh by the way, I would have come earlier but I was on the phone with Remus, he says that he will come over later because he wanted to get a present”. 

“Really?” He tries to hide how surprised he feels, he thought that he was going to have to convince him that he was serious about this, Lily simply nods, “huh, does that mean you are getting me a present too?” 

“The present is for the kid, dumbass” she nudges him playfully “and my husband made you two a breakfast that I taught him, so in a way it's like a gift from the two of us”. 

When they walk inside the kitchen, Lily smiles at James first and gives him a kiss but her face changes when she looks at Boris, even if she still smiling, it’s more hesitant and a little bit more nervous but she gives him a firm handshake as she says “It’s nice to meet you Boris, my name is Lily”. 

Boris looks at her with slight wonder and curiosity like there are questions pilling up inside of his little head, Sirius settles next to him as an attempt to soothe him since he does look slightly nervous.

“Hi Aunt Lily” he says like he is trying it out and seeing if it works, Lily’s smile grows two sizes and Boris nods like he decides he does “It’s also nice to meet you”. 

Lily sits down next to James and he passes her the fork because they always share food and he knows that even if she is not really hungry, this is one of her favorite dishes so she is going to want to take a few bites.

Sirius pretends like he is going to pick on her food even if he hasn’t finished his, he is not going to actually take it and he only does it to annoy her a little bit, she knows that, he has been doing it since they were at hogwarts, he hovers his fork over her plate and she side-eyes and he can tell that she wants to tell him to fuck off like it’s on the tip of her tongue but then she sees Boris and the expression on her face is priceless when she realizes that she can’t, it makes him want to laugh but before he really gets the chance to do that, Lily says with a stern tone that is very similar to Mcgonagall “Sirius, you can’t do that anymore, you have to be a good example for your son”. 

He is about to scoff and call bullshit on that but Boris beats him to it by saying “I actually think that he is a great example”.

“See, it’s all good” he says proudly putting his arm around Boris’s shoulders, he expects Lily to roll her eyes but she smiles, the way people smile at kids when they do something precious or adorable, he can tell that Boris isn’t used to that because he averts his gaze “you know Boris was just showing us how he can speak five different languages”.

“Oh well, just four: Russian, Polish, Ukrainian and English” Boris says with a shrug, Lily gives an appreciative nod as he lists the languages but stops when he says “but I know how to say fuck in other ones”.

“Of course you do” Lily says looking at Sirius like that was one of the reasons why he adopted him. 

It’s not, not really, he just found out today so if anything it’s just a bonus, maybe later he can teach him how to swear in French.

-.-.-.-.-

After breakfast, they go to the conversational pit, he tells Boris that he can put cartoons for him if he is bored but he seems very comfortable in hearing the conversation, especially when James starts to explain what his exact reactions were when he found out, to Lily.

“So imagine my expression when I come to visit Sirius and find another tiny Sirius living here” James says trying to mimic the face that he had made at the moment. 

“Imagine my reaction when I saw the announcement” Lily says as she takes the birth announcement out of her pocket so that James can see it, “honestly my first reaction was _What?_and then _Oh!! A baby!!”_.

Boris looks at Sirius like he can’t believe that someone is referring to him as a baby, still he doesn’t seem annoyed by that and he actually leans closer to see James’s reaction when he sees the birth announcement and he even looks pleased when James awws. 

Sirius felt pleased as well, the envelope had a cassette tape design that is used for birthday party invitations but once he paid a little extra, they were able to change it and it said birth announcement in the front instead. Inside it had the picture of the two of them together, he had picked one where he was giving him a piggyback ride, it’s so different from the family picture his family had in their living room where they were all stiff and Sirius thought he would have rather jumped out of the window than been there. 

In the picture Boris has his arms around his neck, their smiles were huge and genuine like they wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, he thinks the photographer might have actually caught them mid-laugh because they were joking while they were taking the pictures, the background of the picture is white that makes them stand out since most of their clothes were black that day. 

Right under it, it says _“Sirius Black is thrilled to welcome Boris Pavlikovsky into his family”, _ they asked him if he wanted to include the grandparents names on the birth announcement, at first he had shaken his head before he decided to fill the _Loving Grandparents _ section with the names _Fleamont Potter and Euphemia Potter._

He wasn’t sure at the time but when he sees the way James smiles as he traces the names with his fingers, he feels like he made the best decision possible, now he wonders what their reaction might be when they read it. 

There is a knock on the door, he groans before he stands up wondering who it is but he realizes who it is when he hears shuffling behind the door, Remus always takes too long to find his key. 

He is close enough to the door when he hears Remus whisper “Alohomora”, he is annoyed that he had to stand up and he is about to turn around to ask Lily why couldn’t she just do that but then he gets smacked with the door. 

“OUCH” he says, rubbing his back, turning around to look at Remus who is taking off his jacket and putting his bag aside.

“I’m sorry that was an accident” he says apologetically but quickly adds like he has been practicing how to say that since he found out “but you kind of deserve that, I have been one of your best friends for NINE years and this is how I find out that you are having a kid, through the mail”. 

Sirius rolls his eyes, wanting to argue that everyone is finding out through the mail, he doesn’t feel like he can say the real reason that he is sure that out of everyone, Remus would have said that it was a bad idea, he would have tried to discourage him and he just couldn’t have that.

He turns to look at Boris and tells him “See what he is like, do you still think he is cute?”

Boris looks like he is trying to bite back a big laugh, this is clearly hilarious to him. 

He cannot believe this. 

His own son. 

“Oh, hello there” Remus says, his tone of voice and face clearly softened when he had looked at Boris. 

“Hello” Boris says, standing up and walking towards them, when he is close enough, he offers to shake his hand “You must be my Uncle Remus”.

When Boris said those words, it was like Remus completely melted, he tilts his head like he always did when he found something adorable and he shakes his hand in a sort of playful way “It’s nice to meet you Boris, I got you a present”. 

“Oh, my favorite uncle Remus” Boris says letting go off his hand and pulling him for a hug in a suffocatingly affectionate embrace, taking Remus by surprise, he is smiling but he is also he looking at Sirius nervously and a little bleak for a second he thinks that Remus is actually asking him if he can hug him or what to do but when he doesn’t say or does anything, his smile widens and fully hugs Boris back. 

Sirius doesn’t even want to make a joke about how quickly James lost his title of best uncle so fast because he thinks it might ruin the moment. 

He’ll do it later, it’s fine. 

After they pull away, Remus takes a blue box with a bow, Boris basically rips it up open and his face light up when he sees what it is, Sirius looks at it over his shoulder and sees a leather jacket very similar to his favorite one with the diagonal zip down the front and a couple of side pockets, the only difference is the one that this one has coin pockets with snap. 

Boris puts it on immediately, it’s a little bit too big for him but he doesn’t seem to care, he looks too happy in it but Remus winces when he notices it, he starts to say that “Maybe i can return it and find one in a different size-”.

"No, I'll grow in it" Boris responds fast, at once putting his hands inside the pockets. 

“Alright” Remus says as he huffed out a shocked laugh “I’m glad you liked it”. 

“I love it” Boris says, pulling him into a second hug, this time Remus hugs back immediately. 

Sirius can’t help to smile, he looks back at Lily who is also smiling pleasantly but James is looking at them like he wants to take a picture to remember this moment, then his face changes to delighted surprise.  
“Why are you hanging out with the door open?” says Peter, making Sirius turn around to look at him.  
“Oh Peter, you are here” he says, just as surprised as James looks, both because he hadn’t seen Peter standing there and because he is surprised to see him at all, it seemed like he had been busy lately, they had joked that maybe he had a secret girlfriend that he didn’t want to tell them about, “I’m happy to see you, man, where have you been? Did you bring a present? Because Remus did and James just lost his title of best uncle”.  
James throws a pillow at him but it doesn’t land, he just laughs and once again turns to look at Peter who frowns slightly like he is not sure of what to respond yet, looking at all of them until he sees Boris, he blinks repeatedly shocked like he either can’t believe that he is actually there or like he is just finding out, he doesn’t soften immediately like James or Remus, it’s more similar to the way you react when someone asks you to hold their baby and you are sure that you are going to drop them, there is concern and worry in his face but he seems to recover pretty quickly as he put his hands inside of his pockets like he is looking for him and then takes out a chocolate bar and offers it with a shrug.  
“I’ll take it” Boris says, taking it out of the wrapping paper and taking a bite “Thanks Uncle Peter”.  
“Should he have sweets before lunch?” Remus asks leaning towards Sirius like somehow Boris is not going to hear that.  
“Remus don’t lose your title of best uncle so quickly” he responds, Remus shakes his head slightly “besides it’s too early for lunch and we haven’t even started making it”.  
“We should go out for lunch” James says standing up from the couch like he just had a brilliant idea “We should take him to Diagon Alley”.  
“That’s a brilliant idea” Sirius responds looking back at Boris who is eating the chocolate bar but now with a frown in his face.  
“Is that like a restaurant?” Boris asks clearly confused “to be honest it sounds more like an illegal bar, either way I’m in—”  
“It’s a wizarding alley” Sirius hurries to explain, Boris nods in understanding “would you like to go?”  
“Yeah!” he says excited with a look of wonder.  
“Great, let’s go change” he says taking Bori’s hand and walking towards his room.  
-.-.-.-.-  
Boris finishes getting ready before he does, partly because Sirius helped him to pick out his clothes and change, they decide to go with their similar jackets, he lets him go to the living room because he can tell that he wants to keep talking to his new uncles and aunt.  
As soon as he sets a foot in the living room, Boris runs up to him looking excited, with wonder in his face “How come you never told me that you could turn into a dog?”  
“Oh well, I was going to tell you the first day you came here but I kind of wanted to ease you into some details about the magical world, you didn’t believe me at first remember? Besides it’s kind of illegal, we are unregistered”.  
“Yeah, that only makes it even better” Boris says jumping up taking his hand.  
They turn to give Sirius some concerned looks when they hear that but he only shrugs before asking them how they want to go to Diagon Alley, they end up settling for walking since they are not so far away and Apparating might be a bit much for Boris, at first he is worried that Boris will get tired but he insists that he has walked for so long, he has lots of practice so he doesn’t have to worry about it.

When they get out of the building, James ends up putting his arm around Lily as they walk down the street and even if Sirius can’t see it, he knows that she is putting her hand on his back pocket because she always does, it’s their thing. 

Boris takes his hand, Sirius is not surprised when he does that anymore but he still feel overjoyed every time he does it and he is even happier when he sees that Boris doesn’t look self conscious this time, what catches him off guard is when he sees Boris take Remus’s hand with zero hesitation as he brings him closer and says “I have a question about the werewolf thing”.

For the first time Sirius thinks that it might have been a bad idea to mention that to Boris without ever talking about it with Remus first but he doesn’t look upset, he is surprised and a little puzzled like he doesn’t get what else Boris would like to know.  
“I mean – yeah, sure, ask” Remus responds, still processing like all of the questions are running through his mind.  
“Is it true that Werewolves are scared of salt?” he asks, Remus opens his mouth and closes it again like he had prepared himself for every single question except that one. 

“No, I don’t think – why would I be scared of salt?” he responds with genuine curiosity. 

“I saw it in a movie once” Boris responds with a shrug “alright, next question”.

“Have you watched any movies about werewolves or do they make you uncomfortable?” 

“No, I just think that they are kind of boring” Remus admits and Boris gasps making him chuckle “they are just not for me, I’m already living the horror movie, I don’t need to see it”. 

“I guess this means you didn’t read Stephen King’s Cycle of the Werewolf”.

“No” he responds laughingly “and isn’t that a little too adult for you?” 

Boris laughs like Remus is joking and not looking at Sirius with a concerned look on his face, he wants to argue that Boris read that way before he met him so it was out of his control but he can already hear Remus responding about how that it’s not the point so instead Sirius sighs and says “I’ll buy him The Tales of Beedle the Bard when we get there”.

“You should buy him some Roald Dahl books,” Remus says before excitedly adding “I’ll make you a list”. 

Sirius can see recognition appear on Boris’s face towards the author's name, so Sirius asks him “Do you like those books?” 

“I had a friend who did” he responds with a longing look on his face. 

“Your friend had good taste, I wish I had been able to read those books when I was a kid, Lily recommended them to me when we were at Hogwarts” he explains to Boris making his smile turn bittersweet. 

“Yeah, he had good taste, I would like to read them” Boris says looking slightly down, making Sirius take a mental note of taking Lily and Remus to a bookstore to get all the books they might recommend for Boris, still it only takes a second before his tone of voice goes back to normal and he asks “But have you watched Teen Wolf? that’s a comedy!” 

*****

Before they arrive at Diagon Alley, Sirius makes sure to tell Boris that he can’t really ask any questions about werewolves while they are there because some people don’t like them, he also makes sure to tell him that those people are assholes.

Boris nods at the second part like that’s obvious and then they walk in.

“This might sound weird” Boris tells him casually “but I’m sure I have a client that lives around here”.

“Oh, what’s his name?” Peter asks him “maybe we know him”.

“I don’t snitch, Uncle Peter,” Boris says, like that’s obvious making Sirius burst into laughter. 

He sees Boris pull Remus’s hand like he wants him to lean in to tell him a secret, he can’t hear what he says but that makes him crack up as he says “yeah, he probably wasn’t”.

Boris doesn’t let go of their hands until they are officially at Diagon Alley, still Sirius doesn’t take his eyes off him, not just because he is afraid of losing him but because he loved to see his reaction to everything, he turns his little head in every direction so fast that his neck might hurt later, he looks at everything like he didn’t know where to start, asking him questions about what different things were and losing himself into something completely different the next second, the only time they really make a stop is when he sees Boris’s eyes linger towards some robes, he looks away when he sees that Sirius catches him staring but Sirius stops to buy them as a surprise while he tells James to distract him by buying some sweets and then when Remus sends him a look, he clarifies that they are a dessert for lunch.  
When he gets out of the store, he is surprised to see that Remus is the one is waiting for him outside, he is about to joke that if he wants to make sure that he buys the book, he is planning to do it later but Remus talks before he can even open his mouth “When we were walking in, Boris said client, by that did he mean–”

“He used to sell drugs” Sirius says with a shrug, waiting for Remus’s horrified reaction but to his surprise that doesn’t happen.

“Oh thank Merlin” Remus says taking a sigh of relief “I thought he–well you know, I know it’s not great, he is so young but–”

“Yeah,” he responds letting him knows he understand exactly what he is saying, trying to shake the memory of that first night how Boris had yelled at him that he didn’t do that kind of service, wondering how many times someone had come up to him and–

No, nope, he is not letting his mind go there, Boris is here, safe, buying sweets, everything is fine.

“So how did the Animagi subject come up?” he asks, attempting to change the topic to something more lighthearted.

Remus looks around before whispering “He was asking me if I could turn right then and there and I explained to him that it’s only when the full moon comes out, that  
I don’t really have control of myself but that we have companionship with animals whilst transformed and that it makes the experience more… bearable and then I told him so that’s why your daddy can turn into a dog”.

“What did he say?”

“He had very different questions, like a lot of them, he was really impressed but it turns out that the thing that surprised him the most is the fact that I’m not scared of rats”.

“What?” Sirius said shocked.

“Just to be clear your son is not scared of rats, but he saw a movie where werewolves were, so that’s why he said that” Remus says laughingly like he can’t even be  
upset because he finds it hilarious “I think he thinks that it’s cool, like just the whole thing, especially my furry little problem”.

“Yeah, he does, he thinks that is cool” Sirius whispers remembering their conversation “he also said that I wasn’t cool enough to be one”.

Remus chuckles shaking his head and says self-deprecatingly “Oh wow, well, don’t I feel so lucky?” 

“I do have to ask this, you know, as his father” Sirius says trying to once again take the conversation in a different direction “what did he whisper to you when we were coming in?”.

“He told me that his client told him that he also had a furry little problem but the guy was high so who knows” he says nodding seriously before he breaks into laughter “I agreed with him, he probably wasn’t”.

Sirius snorts before they walk towards the rest of the group that is coming out of a different store, Boris runs toward him to show him the sweets that Lily and James bought for him but he stops when he sees the bag, he mumbles how Sirius already bought him a whole new wardrobe so it’s not necessary. 

“Why not?” he says taking out one of the robes and putting it on Boris “the more the merrier”. 

He sees him let out a slight smile and he gives him a piggyback ride as they keep walking and discussing what restaurant they want to go, Boris is quiet, he can tell that he is still looking around the place, at one point he feeds him one of the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, he is grateful that this one just tastes like chocolate, he looks up to see him smiling and he does a little shushing sign and then points at Remus, he snickers before he keeps walking.

*****

After they finish eating lunch, he fulfills his promise and they actually go to buy children’s books for Boris, he seems content with them, he wraps his arms around them as if the books were a teddy bear, he looks up at Remus and promises to make Sirius read it to him later.

“I’m actually glad that we are going to be reading something different than the communist manifesto” he whispers to James who looks back at him confused. “It was his choice, he likes it”.

They are walking already planning to go home when James stops abruptly and says “Oh, I know what I’m going to buy Boris”.

It takes a second before he realizes that he is looking at the broom shop, he takes his arm completely excited as he tells him how that’s an amazing idea, he can teach him how to ride it and they can totally bond that way, they start to go towards the store when Boris pulls Sirius’s hand making him turn around to look at him, he whispers him “Is that…for cleaning? Like magical cleaning? Cleans faster?”.

Sirius laughs because that would be such a shitty present for a kid “No, it’s for flying”.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense” he says nodding as they walk inside of the store. 

James is really the one to pick out the broom and talk to the guy at the store, the only part where Sirius really says anything is when the guy tells him that he can’t give him a broomstick for a kid that is going to first year. 

“He is not going to Hogwarts” Sirius responds casually “he is going to School Unite”.

“Oh” he responds confused “What is that?”.

Sirius is about to admit that he is not really sure of how the school is exactly but he talked to aunt who is taking care of one of Boris’s only friend and he is going to that school so he wants him to go there because well, she looks very responsible and he has decided to trust her and he doesn’t want Boris to go to school alone, that way he is more comfortable but then he realizes that the guy doesn’t really care about any of that stuff, he is asking him to what magic school he is sending Boris to. 

“You probably haven’t heard of it, it’s a muggle school” he responds bluntly. 

The guy suddenly looks even more hesitant but in that moment James takes out the galleons and adds a little extra with a polite smile on his face, the guy looks around and there is only them there, he takes it quickly and promises to pack it up for them. 

He turns around to tell Boris something when he sees him looking around frowning and slightly anxious, he quickly walks towards him and crouches down to be able to look at his face suddenly worried that Remus was right and so much candy plus the lunch was not a good combination, “Are you tired? Do you feel sick? Do you want to go? We are almost done–”

Boris leans forward and whispers looking at the outside of the store “There is this weird dude looking at us, I think he has been staring at us for a while”.

Sirius frowns but he is not about to accuse Boris of being paranoid, instead he looks at the same place Boris is staring at, only to see Lucius Malfoy standing at the other side of the street, he would say that he is surprised that the rest of his friends didn’t notice but Lily and Remus seemed to be completely invested in a conversation about Roald Dahl and Peter had joined James in the counter.

“Is he a friend of yours?” Boris asks him concerned, Sirius could laugh but he can tell that he is worried, he doesn’t want him to feel like he is mocking him.

“No, he married my cousin” he says flippantly wondering if Narcissa is here with him.

“Did they like not invite you to the wedding?”

“Oh no, they invited me, I refused to go” he still remembers getting that white envelope and throwing at the trash without even looking at it twice.

“Is that why he is mad?” Boris asks curiously.

“No, he just hates my guts but it’s fine, the feeling is mutual” he says shaking his head putting his hands on Boris’s shoulders “listen, he is…not a good person…to say the least”.

“Like my dad?” he asks, Sirius is not sure what to respond to that, he doesn’t want to say that Lucius is worse than Boris’s father, he thinks that they are both horrible in different ways. “Like your parents?”

“Yes, like my parents” he says automatically, unsure of how to continue, he is angry at himself that he didn’t prepare Boris for this, he should have said something before but the last few days had been so busy and he was getting him to trust him and bonding, he also seemed so enamored with magic, he wasn’t ready to tell him that the magical world can be just as screwed up as the muggle world. “Listen, don’t look at him, I promise that I will explain everything later, the important thing is that I’m not going to let anyone do anything to you”.

“Yes” Boris says like he understands perfectly “I know you told me not to look at him, but I think he left”.

Sirius looks at the same spot and doesn’t see Lucius standing there, he feels relieved as he stands up, James is walking happily with the broom in his hand, Peter walking behind him, Lily and Remus follow them still completely invested in their discussion, earlier they had agreed to take the bus but he wants to ask them if they could just Apparate back to his apartment, that’s when he remembers that apparating can be stomach turning and overwhelming for kids doing it for the first time so it’s better if they just wait for the bus, he just hopes it comes quickly.

“Hey” Remus says gently nudging his arm “Are you okay? You seem out of it”.

Right before the words make it out of his mouth, he hears a very familiar, very annoying and very stupid voice say “Of course that, out of everyone, you thought that it would be a good idea for you to adopt a child, and not just any child, a muggle child”.

“Well, hello Lucius” he says turning around to look at him before quickly putting Boris behind him “I can see that married life is very boring since you are walking around Diagon Alley stalking children”.

“I was just telling Narcissa this morning that it wouldn’t surprise me if you had done this just to spite your poor parents, it’s like you are actively trying to break their hearts–”

“I didn’t, unlike you and Narcissa, my life doesn’t revolve around my parents, blood purity and trying to keep up appearances” he responds quickly “that would be a very sad and pathetic life to live– ” 

“You want to know what she said?” he asks with a mocking smile on his face.

Sirius feels uneasy when he hears that because no, he doesn’t want to hear what Narcissa had to say, it was sad to think about what she had turned into, being with a Death Eater, she had married this boring, ugly and stupid man who wouldn’t even appreciate her–

It doesn’t matter, it’s not like he cares about her or what she has to say.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about what Cissy had to say, she was probably bored of looking at your–”

“She said that if the kid is lucky, then his REAL parents will come back to get him.” He says it like he is telling a really good joke, Sirius wants to kick him in the crotch,  
“And that’s exactly what should happen, he should go back right where he belongs, he HAS NO RIGHT to be here and you know that”.

He has to admit that stings, it hurts more than some of the curses his mum used on him as punishments when he was little and it hurts more when he thinks about how Narcissa was the one that used to take care of him when he was hurt by those curses back then but he tries not to show it.

“I think Cissy was just bitter because I’m becoming a parent before her and to make things worse, she has to have a baby with you,” he says making a disgusted expression “If anyone shouldn’t have kids, it should be the two of you, who know what you would teach those kids, you would turn them into little brats who would also have the ugliest hair in this whole world but that would be more your fault than Narcissa’s”. 

Lucius looks at him angrily like he is about to curse him, Sirius takes out his wand just in case he needs it but he thinks that Lucius is too much of a coward to attack him.

“You know Sirius, I actually hope that you keep the child,” he says with a sardonic smile on his face, “that way when things are the way they are supposed to be, we can make an example out of him, I’m sure Bellatrix would–”

Sirius lets go of Boris’s hand for a second but only to jump forward and punch him in the face right in the jaw making his wand fall out of his hand, he looks up at him like he wasn’t prepared for that, he was expecting Sirius to attack with magic, when Sirius takes a step forwards, Lucius takes a step back.

Coward and an idiot, what a terrible combination.

Sirius takes out his wand, he hasn’t decided what he is going to do yet, if he is going to attack with magic or he might just punch him again but before he can do anything, James gets between the two of them, trying to hold Sirius back.

“Lucius, if you are as smart as you like to pretend you are, you will pick up your wand and walk away and if you try something else in front of the kid” James says with a tone that sounds both threatening and reasonable “I promise you that you will regret it”.

Lucius glares wide-eyed and angry, he is not sure if he is looking at him or if all of that gaze is focused on James because there is a part of him that looks disappointed but that is completely erased from his face when he says “You think you are so respectable, but you lost all of that when you married a–”

Sirius wants to kick him in the mouth, but James does that before he can, knocking Lucius down to the ground, simultaneously Lily goes “I dare you to say that word because James was the only one in favor of giving you the choice of leaving, I was more than happy to let Sirius beat you up and I have no problems with joining in”.

He looks back to see Boris, he is standing next to Peter who already has his wand out with an impatient expression on his face, Remus is standing behind Boris with his hands on his shoulders like he is thinking about if he should pick him up and run.

Boris is looking up at him, he doesn’t look afraid but stunned, almost frozen and suddenly he regrets responding to Lucius at all because Boris shouldn’t have to see that, he is glad that Remus was there for him and that James intervened.

In that moment, he sees the bus coming up, it’s still far away but close enough to go, he turns back to look at Lily and James, there has only been silence coming from them, he is worried but when he looks back, Lucius is still down on the ground, there is blood coming from his mouth and he wipes it with the back of his sleeve, there is furious and bestial anger in his eyes.

Lucius grabs his wand as he starts to stand up, Sirius looks back at Boris and sees Remus picking him up automatically, Boris doesn’t look uncomfortable but he does looks scared for the first time and that’s what makes him decide to run towards Boris because he knows that Lily and James can take care of Lucius and if he has an ounce of common sense, he must know that he will lose this fight, it’s five against one and they will win.

He doesn’t try to take Boris away from Remus because there is chance that it might still turn into a fight and if that happens he wants Remus to run with Boris to look out for him but he doesn’t say that (somehow he feels like Remus knows already), he smiles reassuringly at Boris and takes one of his hands, he promises himself that when they make it home, he is going to apologize so much for putting him through all of this.

Sirius turns back, he sees Lily and James walking away from Lucius, he assumes that his one brain cell started to work and he realized that it would be a terrible idea to get into this fight, Remus takes a sigh of relief and so does Sirius, he can hear Peter mumble “fucking idiot” and that gets Boris to laugh.

Before they get on the bus, Boris stretches his arms towards Sirius and Remus lets go of him as Boris puts his arms around his neck and he wraps his arms around him and holds him close to him, he settles his head on his shoulder as they get on the bus, they sit on the back so that they can all be together, James and Lily sit next to each other, he puts his head on her shoulder, Remus sits near the window because it’s usually easier for him to relax like that, Peter sits next to Remus like he usually did.

Boris and Sirius are sitting in the middle of all of them, he is about to apologize for what happened when Boris looks up at him and his eyelids are already dropping, he puts his head on his lap and he can hear him softly snoring in a couple of minutes.

*****

When they make it back to his apartment, he walks to his room and settles Boris in his bed, he takes off his shoes and then tucks him into bed, he sits next to him.  
He never used to understand when people would talk about seeing your kids sleep and how they look like angels, he is sure his parents never felt that way about him, but now he thinks he gets it, because he does feel that way about Boris.

The door creaks open and he sees Peter looking at him with some sort of wistful look in his eyes, Sirius stands up and walks towards him unsure of why he is looking at him like that.

“Sorry” he whispers moving from the door “James and Lily fell asleep on the couch; Remus is making tea and I’m on my way out”.

For some reason he feels bad that Remus is making his own tea, he feels like he should be the one doing that but he shakes that feeling off as he is about to offer  
Peter that he can stay over too, if he wants, but he sees him still giving him that same look. “What?”

“Nothing” he says looking conflicted “I’m happy for you”.

“Look you don’t need to worry, it’s not like I’m going to force you to babysit” he says nudging him “or like we’ll see each other less”.

“Yeah, I know” he responds walking towards the door “I’ll see you guys later”.

Sirius smiles at him before he goes for a couple of blankets for James and Lily, James has fallen asleep sitting down with Lily’s head on his shoulder, he puts the blankets the best he can, he thinks of waking them up but decides against it, he knows that even if he does, Lily will just rub her eyes, say that she’ll be up in a minute and go back to sleep, and James will nod, say something that he can’t understand, then fall asleep again. 

He is about to go back to his room when he turns around and sees Remus making himself tea, he walks in feeling awkward even if this is his kitchen and there is no reason for that, it always feels like there is a little tension when it’s really just the two of them.

“You know I could have made you some tea” he says regretting immediately because it sounds like he doesn’t want Remus in his kitchen.

“Oh, no, it’s fine, you were busy” he responds sitting down “besides it’s lemon tea”.

“So?” he asks, deciding to sit down in front of him.

“You’ll get it wrong”.

He scoffs in mild offense, but he laughs a second later and Remus smiles comfortably and pleased like he always does when he knows he made a good joke, the same way he smiled when he would explain to Boris what things had just been made up from movies.

“Hey” Sirius says straightening up in his seat “thank you for today, you know? For answering the questions and the present too, he really loved the leather jacket, when you have a kid, I promise I’ll knit him a sweater or something”.

“Can you knit?” Remus responds putting down his cup.

“I could learn” he replies making Remus laugh and then cover his mouth.

“Sorry, I know he is asleep” he says lowering his voice. “It wasn’t a big deal, I like him, he is a sweet kid”.

“Yeah, I think he likes you too.” Truthfully he thinks it’s obvious but it’s still good to say it.

Remus’s smile grows before he takes another sip of his tea. “I was really nervous about meeting him, actually you want to hear something–no, forget it, I–”

“Oh come on you can tell me” he says, Remus looks down his cup, that’s how he knows it’s something that he is not going to particularly like but then he remembers how quickly he picked up Boris and any feeling of defensiveness he had disappeared “I won’t get mad”.

“I wasn’t expecting him to hug me” he says adding sugar to his tea and stirring the cup “and when he did, I thought maybe your father instinct or whatever was going to kick in and you were going to realize that your son was hugging a werewolf and you were going to…I don’t know”.

“What? Kick you out? Tell you to get away?” he asks him, expecting him to say that it was just an stupid irrational thought but instead he looks at him and he just shrugs looking down at his tea again.

Sometimes he forgets how much self-hatred Remus feels. 

“Remus” he says as he reaches out for his hand, Remus eyes flicker before settling in looking at his face, suddenly he doesn’t know what he was going to say. 

_Remus, I would never._

Yeah, like he is going to believe that after what happened in fifth year. 

_Remus, I’m still sorry about what happened in fifth year, I know that my words basically means nothing–_

_Remus, I know I fucked up and I'm sorry but I still don’t know how to fix it so I try to pretend it didn’t happen–_

_Remus, I will never hurt you again, is that enough? I don’t know how to–_

“Yes?” Remus says, he is clearly expecting Sirius to continue but instead he stopped him from adding more sugar into his tea and he is just holding his hand.

He doesn’t think they have done that since they were kids and suddenly he feels self conscious about it, even if he still does it with James and it’s not a big deal, but it’s different with Remus, even with him holding his hand back, it still feels tense like he will let go at any moment and really whose fault is that but his. 

“If I want anyone hanging out with my kid, that’s you, you are one of the best people I know” he says feeling like that’s not enough but Remus has this heartfelt look in his eyes that makes him believe that he just said the right thing “and one of the most responsible ones too, like you fold your socks”.

Remus laughs covering his mouth again and kicking him under the table but there is not any heat to it, it’s almost like a _How dare you to make me laugh in a moment like this? _ type of gesture, still Sirius lets out an exaggerated “Ouch”.

“How many times do I have to say this?” Remus responds sounding almost the same way he did at Hogwarts during their first year, the first time Sirius had made fun of his socks “Just because I fold my socks doesn’t mean that I can’t kick your ass”.

“Just because you can kick my ass doesn’t mean you will”.

“Do you want me to kick your ass?” he says sounding as threatening as possible but a laugh escapes and completely ruins it, they both end up giggling and covering their mouths this time.

“What is this conversation turning into?” 

“I don't know,” he responds, shaking his head still laughing. 

He thinks of letting Remus’s hand go after that but he feels like there is something else that he needs to say “I – also, thank you”.

“You already said that”.

“Well, yeah but specifically thank you for protecting Boris at the end, I really appreciate it” Sirius says earnestly. 

“Oh, well, I mean he IS my nephew after all” he says before taking his tea with his free hand, “I will admit that I am very disappointed in you”. 

“Please save the lecture for another day, I know that fighting Lucius was stupid and reckless and irresponsible and–” 

“You should have kicked him in the crotch.” 

Sirius snorts, honestly, he should have seen that coming.

“That’s just how I would have played it,” Remus says with a shrug.

“You would have punched him sooner” Sirius responds because he knows that Remus would have hit Lucius the moment he started talking to them.

“I would have but your insults were good too, the face he made when you said that Narcissa was bitter because she had to have a baby with him was pretty funny”. 

He laughs as he remembers Lucius’s angry face, thinking about a joke to make but then his mind goes to what he had told him Narcissa had said and the whole thing leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

Remus must notice that because he squeezes his hand in that moment like he is trying to comfort him, Sirius makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “It’s okay, it’s not like I care about what any of those people have to say, I didn’t think about any of them when I was adopting Boris, not even my parents, believe it or not”.

“Oh, I believe it” Remus says it like that should be obvious, “I don’t think you would do something JUST to piss off your parents, like you would see it as a plus”.

“Thank you” he says, suddenly wishing he had served himself something just an excuse to do something with his hands “I was actually really worried about telling you”.

“Why?” he asks, as if it’s not obvious.

“I thought you might discourage me, that you wouldn’t think it was a good idea” he looks at Remus carefully waiting for his reaction, he doesn’t look upset, but he sighs like he is disappointed.

“You know I don’t always expect the worst of you”.

“I know you don’t but have to admit, you do think I’m irresponsible”.

“I don’t think that, I just think that there are things that you should take more seriously but I don’t think that this is one of them” he says quickly putting his hand up like he was giving him a warning “and if you make a single pun right now, this conversation will be over”.

Sirius pretends to be zipping his mouth and throwing away the key, he was actually curious about what Remus was going to say, he does a hand gesture for him to continue. 

Remus rolls his eyes fondly before saying “To be honest when I saw the birth announcement, I did freak out but it was more like a _‘we are all too young to have kids'’_ type of way, it would have been the same way if it was James or Peter”.

“I would also be shocked if it was Peter” he says, Remus tries to kick him again, but he misses this time. “So you were freaked out?”.

“Yeah, I was, that doesn’t mean that I think you wouldn’t be a good dad, it was just an initial shock because I didn’t expect any of us to have kids yet but that doesn’t mean that I think any of the stuff that Lucius said–”

“You mean what Narcissa said”.

“Does it matter?” he asks back like those two are the same person and Sirius can't really argue with him there so he lets him continue “My point is that I don’t think that anyone is really ready to become a father, I mean I’m scared of having kids right now, I’m pretty sure I’ll still be freaking out if I was forty”.

“I think you would also be a good dad,” he tells him but Remus just shakes his head like he doesn’t want to hear it “I mean you were amazing with Boris today and I–”

“My point is” Remus continues interlacing their fingers, he doesn’t know if he is doing that so that he will drop the topic or if he is doing it as a reassuring gesture “that I think that no one is ever really ready to become a parent but you step up because you care for the kid and I know you care for Boris, he is what’s important here, right?”

Sirius is not sure if the question is rhetorical or not, but he nods anyway.

“So, who cares what Lucius Malfoy or your cousin have to say about this?” Sirius feels uneasy when he says that, he wants to reply that he doesn’t care what they have to say about him, who cares if they think that he is going to be a terrible parent, they are going to be horrible parents themselves, which sucks for Narcissa because she always wanted to be a mother since she was little. 

One time when they were young she said that their kids could play together someday– 

But fuck that, he is not going to let her anywhere near Boris. 

“Sirius” Remus says getting his attention, putting his other hand on top of his “I have known you for over nine years, I know exactly how you fix your hair every morning, I know you hate your parents, that you would do anything for your friends, even if you screw things up sometimes, and that yes there are a lot of things that you don’t take seriously but a child who needs a home is not one of them”. 

Sirius is not even sure of how to respond to everything Remus just said, he just sits there, opening and closing his mouth again, he is almost glad when Remus continues talking.

“I think you are both lucky that you found each other, he cares a lot about you too, I can just see that, he looks up to you, he hangs onto your every word” he says softly before letting go off his hand and adding “so you better be careful not to say anything stupid in front of him”.

“I never say anything stupid–”

“That’s the biggest lie you have ever told–”

They hear a door creak and turn to look at Boris coming out of his room wearing his pajamas, he waves at them awkwardly “Sorry, I woke up a while ago, I wanted to change and you two seemed to be having a moment”.

“Oh don’t worry” Sirius says, actually he is surprised they didn’t hear him go out the room the first time.

“Yeah” Remus says, before drinking the rest of his tea in one gulp, he assumes that it had gotten cold by now, “I was already leaving”.

“You can stay” Sirius offers, feeling he should have said that before Remus drank his tea like if it was a tequila shot. 

“Yes, stay” Boris adds with a smile on his face which seems to convince Remus instantly even if Sirius knows that he doesn’t really like to sleep in the conversational pit. 

He gives him some blankets and extra pillows, he offers to lend him some pajamas but Remus insists that he is comfortable sleeping on his regular clothes and that he’ll try not to wake up the two lovebirds. 

After saying getting Remus settled and saying goodnight, Sirius and Boris walk to the room, Sirius changes in the bathroom and when he comes back Boris is already in the bed, the light is off but one of the lamps that is right next to his bed is on.

He looks at Boris quietly looking at the books that they bought him that day, he touches it and smells it like he never has before and he wonders when was the last time that he had a new book. 

“Do you still want me to read to you?” he asks him as he sits next to him.

“Tomorrow” he says before yawning and scooting aside for Sirius to have more space.

“I want to say I’m really sorry about today” he says as he setttles in bed next to him.

“We had fun today” Boris says confused like nothing bad had happened at all.

“Me too but I mean at the end when I fought with Lucius, I’m sorry you had to go through that” Sirius says putting the blankets over Boris, he wants to swear that it’s never going to happen again but he is not sure, if he can make that promise.

“Oh, that’s okay, I have seen way worse” he says patting his arm comfortingly but that only made Sirius feel worse because nothing bad was supposed to happen at all now that Boris was with him, he is supposed to keep him safe. “besides it was kind of cool when you punched him in the face”.

“Yeah, it was cool” he says suddenly realizing this is probably what Remus was talking about “Still I’m sorry–”

“Why are you sorry? You were protecting me so there is nothing to apologize for, you did what you had to do, I’m just curious about why did he hate me so much? I mean I know that not everyone likes me but they usually have to get tired of me first” Boris asks confused with a frown on his face that under different circumstances would have been adorable but right now he finds heartbreaking. 

Sirius doesn’t know what hurts more, how Boris says that last part like he has a lot of experience with it, or how innocently he asks him that question like he is curious, like he might have done something wrong somehow. 

“He is a fucking stupid asshole, that’s why” he says immediately out of anger but he knows that answers nothing, he wants to starts somewhere familiar so he asks 

“Remember my charity work?”

“Oh yeah with _ The Order of the Phoenix,_ I don’t know how you got away with passing it as a real thing, the name sounds like a shady tattoo parlor”. 

“It’s actually a real thing” Sirius says laughingly, he almost wants to tell Albus Dumbledore about how Boris described it just now, just to see the expression on his face “and it exists because the Wizarding World is at war right now”. 

“Why?” Boris asks now sitting down, with a shocked look on his face.

“Well the Order exists to oppose Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters” he starts to explain, but then he realizes those words must make no sense for Boris, “they are a group of wizards and witches who think that their families are better than others that have married any muggle-borns or muggles–and muggles are, well –”

“People like me” Boris completes the sentence scrunching his face like the thought itself is making him feel a little sick “so when he was saying that he wanted to make an example out of me, he meant that he wanted to–” 

“I would never let that happen” Sirius says quickly putting his hands on his shoulders, he doesn’t even want that idea to cross Boris’s mind but he already looks lost in thought and he is quiet for a couple of seconds.

Eventually he opens his mouth slowly like he is starting to find the right words “But he wants to…kill me….or worse…yes?” 

Sirius didn’t expect him to get to that so fast and it’s hard to speak, like his throat is closing down, how can he explain to his kid that, Yeah, that dude wants you and all people like you dead.

“I mean that’s what those people must do, yes?” Boris asks him with uncertainty, his eyes wide with fear. “If they think they are better than everyone else, then they must think that the world would be better without them so the next step would be getting rid of them”.

“You are very smart” Sirius says because somehow he feels like that’s the best way to confirm that considering the circumstances. “Yes, they want to purify the Wizarding race by killing Muggles, Muggle-borns, and blood traitors, eventually conquer Wizarding Great Britain and achieve a global dictatorship under a magical regime but that is not going to happen because we are going to stop them”.

Boris is quiet for a couple of seconds looking up at him blankly like he is still processing so he lets him stay quiet for as long as he says “What does that even mean?”

“Which part?” Sirius says getting ready to convince Boris that he would keep him safe, that he would make sure those horrible people never ever come close to him again. 

“A blood traitor?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. “Because if a Muggle is someone that doesn’t have magic, then a muggle-born must be someone that comes from Muggles so what is a blood traitor?”

“Oh, well, that’s me” he says pointing at himself for good measure “and pretty much any decent wizard or witch really, people who oppose the Death Eaters. They especially call wizards and witches who marry Muggles and Muggle-borns that, and it's meant to be an insult, but I like to take being considered a blood traitor as a compliment. And yes you are right, Muggle-borns are wizards and witches whose parents are Muggles, like I said you are very smart”.

“Thank you” Boris responds, sounding completely deflated but his expression slowly changes as he asks “Is that why that guy said that James wasn’t respectable?”

Sirius laughs because Boris imitates Lucius’s voice at that last part. “Yeah, Lily is a muggleborn and James is a pureblood so he lost all respect, I don’t know what to tell you, that’s just the way things work in Lucius’s fucked up brain”. 

“So a pureblood would be...someone that doesn’t have any muggles in their family?” he asks, lifting an eyebrow unsure if he is getting it right.

“Yeah, or at least that's what they claim, but if you trace back far enough, nearly every family tree has had some non-magical ancestors” he explains looking at Boris’s face carefully making sure that he was following “and most wizard and witches consider an individual to be a pure-blood if his or her parents and grandparents were not Muggles or Muggle-born”.

“Oh, so is that what the idiot was going to call her? A Muggleborn?” Boris asks him, Sirius can’t help but to smile a little bit when he calls Lucius an idiot but the smile quickly disappears when he realizes what he has to explain to Boris now. 

“Well, no, that’s not what he was going to say” he says stiffening a little bit and scratching the back of his neck trying to come up with the right words “You see muggleborn is the correct term, that's what you should use to talk about wizards and witches whose parents are muggles”.

“Alright” Boris nods like that part is obvious. 

“But people like Lucius refer to them in a different derogatory way” he explains, Boris nods before wincing a little. 

“Is this a bad time to ask you what derogatory means?” he asks him cautiously “I try my best with English but I don’t know every word”.

“No, it's never a bad time to ask me if you don't understand something”, he really doesn't want Boris to be scared to ask him questions, he doesn't want to be that kind of parent, “and by derogatory I mean that Lucius wanted to say something disrespectful and offensive, that’s why James kicked him in the mouth, because he deserved it” he explains, Boris nods letting him know he understands. 

“Was it the C-word?” Boris asks back. 

“No” Sirius says, feeling uncomfortable, having the memory of 11 year old James telling him not to use that word and why it was wrong to do it, coming right back to him in vivid detail, he feels as ashamed as he did that exact day, maybe even worse, and it’s like his cheeks are burning as if they were on fire “I don’t feel comfortable saying it so I’m going to spell it out for you, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I know the vocabulary –I mean abecedary” he says shaking his head looking slightly frustrated “I can keep up, you can spell it out, it’s fine”.

“Don’t worry about it, you know different languages, you get confused, it’s okay” he says trying to comfort him, sometimes he forgets that Boris’s native language isn’t really English, maybe he should try to learn Russian or Polish to be able to make him feel more comfortable but that’s something for another day, he takes a deep breath still feeling uneasy as he starts to spell “m-u-d-b-l-o-o-d”.

Boris mouths the letters and then does the same with the whole word making Sirius wince even if he is just doing it to make sure he is getting it right.

“It’s a slur, that’s why I don’t want to say it ever”.

_Well, at least not ever AGAIN._

“Oh” Boris says staying quiet for a second “it sounds like a very off-brand fertilizer that no one would buy”. 

Sirius can’t help to laugh and he is glad that Boris said that because it takes part of the tension from the conversation but he knows that he can’t just drop it there, he has to explain to him why is it wrong, just like James did for him those years ago, “That’s a hilarious image, but the word is actually a slur that pure-blood supremacists use against muggle-borns, it basically implies that they have dirty blood, it’s just a horrible thing to say and extremely offensive”.

“I see, that’s awful” he says making a disgusted gesture “ugh, I just remembered that guy married your cousin”. 

“Yeah” he replies making a similar gesture “It’s okay we haven’t talked to each other since I graduated Hogwarts”. 

Boris looks sullen before asking “Was she dating that dick back then?” 

“No, it was probably an arranged marriage, at least I hope it was, otherwise she really has horrible taste and really dropped her standards since the last time we saw each other” he says to himself more than anything but Boris laughs so he calls it a win. 

“Then why did you stop talking?” Boris asks him, he probably wouldn’t have answered if it wasn’t for the fact that he looks concerned, he is not sure if Boris is worried about him or if he is scared that he is going to snap. 

And he doesn’t want his kid to be scared of him ever. 

“Do you remember how I told you that I left my parent’s house when I was sixteen?” He asks him, Boris nods eagerly, beaming while he is recalling the memory, he never thought that he would smile before talking about his family history but seeing the way Boris reacts to him recalling the memory makes him feel like he is on top of the world for a few seconds. “I left because my parents wanted me to become a Death Eater”.

Boris is speechless for a couple of seconds, there is slight horror on his expression before he asks “That’s why she stopped talking to you?”.

“When I left the house, I also left the family and that was that, I knew that was going to happen and I also knew that I had to leave one day and leave all of them behind” he starts to explain to Boris who is resting his face in his hands like a child hearing a bedtime story “You see my family believes that they are all royalty in the wizarding world because they are one of the largest, oldest, and wealthiest wizarding families in Great Britain, they even like to claim that we have an entirely magical ancestry, which is bullshit by the way, they just remove people from our family tree and they act like they never existed and now I have joined that wonderful group of people that are no longer considered family”.

He says it with good humor but Boris looks terribly sad, he wants to explain that he is not really mad about it but before he can, Boris says “I know you said your parents were horrible people but I thought you just meant that they beat you up and stuff”.

“Yeah, there was that too but they mostly used spells, not their actual fists,” he says like it’s an unimportant detail.

“Must have hurt” Boris responds, putting his hand on top of his as some sort of support.

“Oh like a bitch” he responds so bluntly and exaggerated that it makes Boris snort. “Kid, for real, don’t feel bad for me, I’m exactly where I want to be”. 

“I know, I don’t feel bad for you, I still think it’s their loss” he responds making Sirius melt for a second even if he knows that his parents never saw him as a prize. 

“They are fine, they always liked my brother way more than they liked me” he responds feeling a little melancholic, he hadn’t thought about Regulus in so long, it’s hard to think about how he is sixteen right now and what is going to happen. 

“You have another brother?” Boris asks, eyes wide in shock, Sirius looks at him slightly confused, he clarifies “I mean besides James”.

Sirius smiles feeling this whole moment to be bittersweet. “Yeah, I had a younger brother named Regulus but we are not on speaking terms anymore and I don’t think we’ll ever be again”.

“You don’t know that” Boris says consolingly “How old is he? Maybe–”

“He is probably a Death Eater already” he answer with a shrug like the thought itself isn’t the least bit heartbreaking “You become one when you are sixteen, at least that's how my parents see things”. 

“Oh” Boris says when he hears that. 

There is a moment of silence that almost feels like grief even if Regulus is very much alive and probably asleep already at this point, they passed his bedtime half an hour ago, he doubts that he even thinks of him. 

Just when he is lost in thought Boris pulls him into a hug, it takes him by surprise so they fall back but they don’t really move, it’s weird to be given a comforting hug by a child because it feels like he should be comforting him and not the other way around. 

Still he doesn’t pull away, he hugs him back quietly and accepts the hug.

“I’m sorry I just told you the worst bedtime story ever” he says into Boris's hair and hears him laugh against his. 

After that he manages to move the bedsheets and blankets to cover the two of them without really pulling away from Boris, even if they are a little warmer than normal but he doesn’t really mind any of that stuff. 

“We should get some sleep” he tells Boris who already has his eyes closed.

He turns off the lamp next to him, closes his own eyes, with his arms still tight around Boris like he wants to keep him safe even if they are asleep, all he knows is that there is really only one way to keep Boris as safe as possible and that’s to keep him far away from those people that a long time ago he called family and that’s exactly how things are supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions about Narcissa, wait till chapter 6.


	6. Meetings and First Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments, I hope you can enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Content warning: Mention of underage smoking, brief microaggression of racism, stealing (shoplifting), police attempting to hit an animal, child hitting adult on instinct, child panicking due to past child abuse, mention of drug use, fear of physical attack, mention of family estrangement/disowning, mention of torture (nothing happens, it's just mentioned as possibility), verbal argument with screaming, past child abuse through isolation, child-on-child racism through isolation, unintentional misgendering, past animal death (child abuse through killing pet). Please let me know if anything else should be added.

Boris thinks that Sirius is more nervous about this new school than he is. 

As soon as the telephone was installed, Sirius has spent the last couple of days talking to Lucille about the school and for help with the inscription process, even if they spent a lot of time just talking about different things, Lucille did spend a lot of time also just trying to ease Sirius’s nerves. 

Boris tried not to eavesdrop but a part of him couldn’t help to listen, he is surprised by how much Sirius cared about this. 

In a way he understands why, Sirius has never been to a normal school before while Boris has been to thousands so this process is really not that new to him,what is new to him is the fact that he got brand new school supplies that he didn’t have to steal, he didn’t have to get up on his own that morning, and they got in the motorcycle instead of Boris trying to hitch his own rides with strangers. 

He is not complaining, it’s...just weird. 

And what makes it feel even weirder is that he likes it so much.

When they arrive to the school, he expects Sirius to drop him off there and wish him luck but instead he gets down from his motorcycle and tells him how classes haven’t really started yet, they are meeting Gyuri and Lucille there so that he can show her the papers and make sure that everything is in order.

Boris isn’t used to that either, most of the time, if he didn’t have something, he would fake-cry and if that didn’t work he would get a fake one, he is sure that Sirius got a couple of fake ones as well, he probably bullshit his way through some of the papers at the orphanage, he wonders if he was just as nervous as Boris was that day. 

They sit at different tables so that Lucille and Sirius can have more space and go through the papers together, while Boris and Gyuri eat two sandwiches and hot chocolate. He knows he should ask things about the school but instead he just asks “How are things going with Nick?” 

Gyuri is quiet like there is something on the tip of his tongue he has to say, that's been bothering him this whole time, “The first day he was there, it was fine but the next day we went to the supermarket and some...woman thought that he was my dad”. 

Boris doesn’t respond, he knows there is more to the story and that saying, She saw a couple with a child and assumed, is not a good idea, because it won’t make Gyuri feel better, and that it’s not really about that. 

“He is nothing like my dad” Gyuri takes an angry bite off the sandwich.

Boris nods, unsure if that’s a good or a bad thing, he assumed that it would be the expected after all, if Lucille’s boyfriend was a lot like Gyuri’s father, it would be kind of weird. 

“He is incredibly boring, he is an accountant” he says it like that’s the worst thing Nick could be but in a weird way he gets it. 

One of the few things he knew about Gyuri’s father is that he was a fun dad who did care about him, he just didn’t make great life choices a lot of the time, but he never hit him. 

It surprised Boris when he heard it. 

“He has a very neutral expression that drives me insane like have an emotion for god’s sake and...” Gyuri says with his same hardened tone like he is looking for things to hate about him.

Boris only drinks his hot chocolate. 

“He is fine, I guess” he says finally, Boris nods again taking a bite of the sandwich “he makes her happy so that’s what’s important, he clearly likes her and he is not playing any games which is good, and he has a cat, by the way”. 

“A cat?” Boris asks with interest. 

“Named Daisy, she is sort of weird looking” Gyuri says making a weird hand gesture “but she is sweet and Lucille is thrilled to have her home and she likes me so it’s fine, it’s whatever”. 

“Color?” 

“She is orange” he says simply with a shrug.

When they finish breakfast, they walk towards the school, parents are already dropping their kids off even if the doors aren’t open yet, that’s something Boris hasn’t seen often, he usually appears five minutes before class.

“Thank you so much for the help and for taking time off work to help me, I went to boarding school my whole life so I’m a little lost about all of this” Sirius says to Lucille, who shakes her head with a friendly smile. 

“Oh don’t even mention it” she said fixing her purse “to be honest I was probably as lost as you, my social worker told about this school, his daughter also comes here”.

“Her name is Astrid, she is over there” Gyuri tells him, he sees him wave towards a cute black dark skinned girl with two tight french braids that are closed by two little red bobbles that match her big red jacket, she is very protected from the cold weather, she has gloves, a hat and a scarf around her neck that is a little large. 

She waves back as she moves the scarf away from her face before returning her attention to her mother, she is also a dark skinned beautiful woman who has her hair up in a bun, she is wearing a dark blue coat and a briefcase in one hand, while she gives a lunchbox to her daughter with the other and then fixes her jacket before leaning down for a kiss on her cheek. 

It’s a normal image, that he knows happens all the time in schools but it feels new somehow, seeing so many kids surrounded by their parents and realizing that in some weird way, he is a part of that group.

“She is cool, we are going to the arcade on Friday, you should come” Gyuri says before turning to Lucille. “We are going, right?”

“Yes, you are going” Lucille confirms, putting her hands on his shoulders, even if she does look a little unsure. 

The doors open and the kids start to walk in, Gyuri gives him a lame wave before running inside, Boris stays, apparently they have to wait for the principal to come for them to give them a tour and later they can officially enroll Boris. 

“So everything is going fine with your social worker?” Sirius asks like he is trying to make small talk. 

“Oh yes, Mr. Castillo is great and I think Astrid is a sweetheart, I’m glad Gyuri has more people to hang out with, it’s just that I’m just a little worried, because like I said he is our social worker and it’s usually advised not to have a personal or emotional relationship with us” she sounds uneasy and extremely worried, almost a little scared “but I don’t think that includes the kids–I mean, it’s not even illegal, but I’m worried that he might think that it is unprofessional and maybe I’m just being paranoid here but I can’t lose risk losing him and getting a transsexual hating asshole, if that happens then we’ll be screwed”. 

“Yeah, I understand” Sirius agrees, Boris can’t stop himself from nodding, the situation would definitely be horrible if they were with someone that would be against them from the start, it’s not just that Gyuri is finally able to dress and act the way he wants to and that Lucille had started her transition years ago. 

“Sorry for swearing, Boris” she tells him, and Boris simply snorts to let her know that it was okay, he has heard worse. “What’s your social worker like?”

“Oh, she is great, she has helped us a lot” Sirius responds easily “her husband actually installed my telephone yesterday”. 

“Yeah,Mr.Winkles, good guy” Boris says, he knows that the man has an actual last name that's different, but he had liked the nickname so he had decided that he was going to keep it, “It was all good, except for that awkward moment when you tried to make him to stay for dinner”.

“I did not” Sirius defended himself turning to Lucille “I just felt awkward, we were going to eat and he was still there, I had to offer him food, right? Or is that not the case?” 

“I think it’s sweet” Lucille responds, patting him on the back. 

“So it's not, then” Sirius says, sounding slight frustrated but amused at the same time “I honestly think that Remus, Lily or James should have stopped me”. 

Before Boris can say that he thinks that they wouldn’t be really sure of what to do either, they see a man that he can only assume is the principal walking towards them, he is a handsome white man with a clean-shaven face that looks like he just came out of a car commercial, he has a friendly smile that reminds Boris of a squirrel's.

When he walks closer to them, he straightens up a little bit, Boris thinks that it’s an attempt to look taller than he already is, he used to do the same when he felt intimidated, if he thought that someone would be able to rob or hurt him in some way, like that would make him look older or stronger but Boris doesn’t think the principal is doing that, this man is burly and could hold his own in a fight. 

It takes a second to realize that he was trying to be taller than Sirius. 

Boris wonders if Sirius realized and decides to ask him later.

He greets Lucille first, for a moment Boris thinks that he is going for a kiss in the cheek but she puts her hand between the two of them for a handshake. Then he introduces himself as Mr. Lane to Sirius and asks him about how he is feeling about starting his last year of high school, Boris doesn’t judge him for the second one, Sirius is nineteen after all, he probably looks like a couple of students here. 

“I’m actually here to enroll my son, Boris” he says putting his hands on Boris’s shoulders introducing him. 

He expects the man to look scandalized or shocked but his eyes only widen a little before smiling down at Boris and asking him if he is excited to start school, he admits that he is excited.

It’s weird, principals usually only talk to him to tell him that he shouldn’t be smoking in the bathroom or at all. 

As he goes through the tour, he realizes that this school is bigger than the one he went to in Las Vegas, it’s also cleaner and there is no graffiti, not even in the lockers, he still remembers how Theo was shocked by some of the things he would see written, while Kutko didn’t even flinch when she found new ones.

This is probably more similar to the school Theo used to go before Las Vegas, Theo did tell him that even in his old school, people would write in the bathroom stalls, maybe they do that here too, he doesn’t get to find out since Mr. Lane only points towards the bathrooms, instead of showing them. 

Eventually they make it to the office, he asks Lucille to stay outside, while they go inside, she doesn’t seem bothered by it and just takes out a book from her purse.

They sit down and holds the papers as he starts to open them, he frowns slightly but hides quickly with another friendly smile, that Boris can see as fake. 

“So Boris Pavlosky” he reads his name out loud, it’s butchered “Are you Russian? I’m asking because of the accent”.

Boris blinks surprised, usually people don’t recognize his accent and he still doesn’t know how to feel about how quickly he got it. 

“No, technically no but my dad, he is russian” he says on instinct, feeling weird as soon as the words leave his mouth.

Mr. Lane nods before turning back to the papers and looking at Sirius and saying “That’s so funny, I didn’t think that there would be any Russians in Lucille’s family”. 

“I don’t see how that information would be any of your business” Sirius says, slowly his face changes to a more puzzled expression, he points to Lucille outside and back at himself “Do you think that we are related?” 

“Aren’t you?” he asks with an slight frown “I just mean because you are both–” 

“I’m East Asian and she is Korean” Sirius says before Mr.Lane finishes his sentence, it sounds like both an opportunity and a threat, as in,_I’m giving you a chance to shut the fuck up before you blow it, your choice, _ “and Boris is adopted”. 

“I was going to say that I thought that you two were related because you came here together” Boris has to hold himself back from asking how would that sentence start with you are both? “Also he looks a lot like you, I thought you just had him young, that’s why I was confused by the last name, Mr.Black”. 

“Well, if you had kept on reading then you would have seen the papers that explain that I’m in the process of adopting Boris” Sirius says with a polite tone that still manages to sound confrontational.

Mr. Lane just opens the folder, checks a few pages and nods with an apologetic smile on his face but Boris is not sure if he buys it, specially because then he frowns again “When you said that your last name was Pavlosky–” 

“Pavlikovsky” Sirius corrects him “His full name is Boris Volodymyrovych Pavlikovsky”. 

“I just meant” Mr. Lane continued like that wasn’t the point “isn’t that the last name of the–”

“Murderer?” Boris responds, finishing the sentence for him, wondering if there was even a polite word for that. 

“Yes” he says nodding, looking uncomfortable which makes Boris feel better about the situation, he shouldn’t be the only one uncomfortable. 

“Is there a problem?” Sirius asks leaning forward, his tone is no longer confrontational, now it sounds both concerned and wary. 

“No, he can start classes tomorrow if you want” Mr. Lane says fixing his tie and closing the folder again “but can I offer you a recommendation? Maybe he should use your last name instead”. 

“Why, your teachers can’t pronounce Pavlikovsky either?” Sirius asks back and a small laugh escapes Boris. 

“I’m just saying that it was kind of a big news story, there are still some newspapers talking about it and kids can be cruel, I’m sure you know what that’s like” he says looking directly at Sirius, Boris raises an eyebrow at that, he can’t help but to think that he is implying that people used to make fun of Sirius when he was in school and that just don’t make sense to Boris.

He expects Sirius to scoff or make a face but he barely even reacts, he just stares back at Mr.Lane who also seemed to expect a different reaction and looks glad when he doesn’t respond to it. 

“It’s also not just about the kids, not all parents are sympathetic, they would have some concerns about what Boris might expose their kids to or what he might say in front of them”. 

Boris can’t help to nod, he doesn’t even take it personally but Sirius scoffs this time. 

“I know, I don’t think that it’s fair either but it will probably take a week before parents come to talk to me about their concerns and we want to avoid a scandal, right? We want Boris to have the best experience in this school possible, don’t we?” he asks. It’s clearly rhetorical and Boris is just quietly staring at a bowl of candy that is on the table trying to distract himself. “Now, I’m not going to force you to do anything, this is just a suggestion and you are free to do as you please, if you decide not to, that’s perfectly fine, Boris will still be allowed into this school immediately and if anyone tries to mess with your son, there will be consequences, I promise you that”. 

Sirius stays quiet while Mr. Lane fumbles with his drawer, before excusing himself for a moment saying that he needs to get some papers. When he leaves, Boris takes half of the candy that was in the bowl and stuffs it in his pocket, it feels futile and petty but Sirius doesn’t stop him.

“We can find another school, if you want” Sirius offers carefully “or whatever you want”.

“Oh” Boris says, disappointed, “I mean I don’t mind the name change”.

He doesn’t admit that he was expecting it to happen when the adoption was finalized like it was a way to make it official. 

That they were...a family or whatever.

“You don’t?” Sirius asks him, taking some of the candy from the bowl as well, like Boris didn’t just take half of it “I just–I guess I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to erase your past or where you came from”.

Huh. Boris had never thought about that. 

To be honest he had just thought that it would be cool to have his last name to have the same initials to his first name. 

He doesn’t think a change of name could erase his past. 

He is not sure if anything can.

“Don’t worry, you are not” he says, Sirius nods as Mr.Lane comes back with the papers. 

Sirius agrees to take the offer and signs the papers that Mr.Lane had, he shakes his hand and tells him at what time he should bring Boris tomorrow, a couple of lists of books that he needs to find, and his class schedule, it’s weird to see Sirius carefully putting the schedule inside his bag, instead of Boris just stuffing it inside his backpack or pocket. 

Mr. Lane offers to walk them out but Sirius insists that they’ll manage and Boris takes Sirius’s hand as they leave, not feeling as self-conscious as he has before and somehow that makes it feel weird. 

When they come out, Lucille stands up and smiles completely relieved when she hears that Boris is starting classes tomorrow, Sirius looks relaxed at the moment and when he mentions to her that Mr.Lane thought that they were related, she laughs shaking her head.

“Thank you so much for everything” Sirius says once again when they are out of the school. “Hey, if you are not busy, maybe we could buy you lunch as a thank you, I mean I do have to take Boris to the nutritionist but i don’t think that It will take that long”.

“Thank you so much, that sounds lovely but maybe some other time, Nick is coming to pick me up” she says, Boris swears that he can see her eyes light up for a second. “We are going to eat lunch with some old friends of his, one of them says that he can get me access to an appropriate therapist and a endocrinologist”.

“Oh, well, I hope you have fun” Sirius says even if he looks slightly disappointed “I know he just got a job but still tell me when you two are free so that I can take you two out for dinner, I would love to meet the famous Nick”.

“Aw, that would be so nice” she responds smiling back at him “Just let me ask him about his schedule and I’ll let you know”. 

A couple of minutes later, he sees a red car stop and honk, it’s an old AMC eagle, clearly secondhand if he is judging by the paint and Lucille smiles when she sees it before rushing towards it since it can’t really stop because of the traffic and the lack of parking, he does wave at them as he drives away. 

They wait for the car to go before Sirius takes out the helmets from his bag and asks him “Are you ready to go?”

Boris nods before they get on the motorcycle and as it goes up in the sky, he looks down and sees the people walking, the buildings and different places, he tries to look at everything the same way he would if he was on bus in a place that he doesn’t recognize like he has been thousands of times before but he doesn’t think that he can compare this to anything that he has ever done before, the best way he can explain it is that it feels like being in a roller coaster but safer and better at the same time.

And he never thought those two words could be together in the same sentence.

He turns to look back at Sirius, wondering if one day he could teach him how to ride it, he wonders if it’s one of those things only magical people can do, but he stops thinking about that when Sirius looks down at him smiling before asking him if he wants to go a little faster, Boris didn’t think that was even possible, he smiles back at him before bracing himself and forcing himself to keep his eyes open because he doesn’t want to miss a single moment of this. 

-.-.-.-

The visit to the doctor was fine, even if when the doctor looked at his weight for the first time, he had this expression that reminded him of that one time when Theo told him that sometimes when he looked at him, it made him want to administer an IV to him.

It was a nice way to find out what an IV was. 

But the doctor had relaxed when he had gone through his papers and realized that he didn’t have any serious illnesses, he had asked Boris a few questions, written some notes and then given him a lollipop, after that he turned to Sirius and started asking basically the same questions (What was Boris’s schedule? What did he get for breakfast? What type of meal was he used to?).

A part of him was annoyed about that because it’s not like Boris would lie about that and another part of him got why he did it, after all responding to What do you like to eat? with Whatever I can find was probably not his finest moment but it was honest. 

He does get a little lost as the conversation continues, there is talk about protein, calories, calcium, some fat and several vitamins, how he needs high iron foods which are red meats, egg yolks, raisins, turkey and some very specific cereals and after that he lost count of how many other things he said. 

Boris starts to eat his lollipop during that, he is mentioning foods that Boris isn’t even used to eating, he can’t remember the last time he had oatmeal, he usually just got what he could find in the fridge, he did have eggs every morning or so.

He spends the drive back home thinking about that, how sometimes he wouldn’t even have breakfast and wait until lunch, it’s not like he did on purpose, there was just nothing in the fridge, specially if it was Friday, he almost knew for sure that he wouldn’t be able to eat breakfast that day, he was lucky that when he was in Las Vegas, that was pizza day at school.

Sometimes he would only have an apple for breakfast, he isn’t sure if that was healthy or not.

Maybe he should have asked. 

“Hey,” Sirius says, taking him away from his thoughts, he realizes that they are about to park “Are you okay?”

“Yeah” he responds with a shrug. “Just hungry”. 

He helps him to get off the motorcycle, he takes Sirius’s hand as they walk inside the building and once they make it to the apartment, he hears the telephone ringing, at first he thought it was a weird idea to put it right next to the door but it turned out to be quite helpful since Sirius can just use one word to get the telephone to come flying towards him and it makes it easier to answer it every time they would walk through the door. 

Boris takes the phone since Sirius is still taking off his coat and he doesn’t want to lose the phone call, it’s only there when he realizes that he is not sure what to say, he has answered the phone before but usually the other person would talk first but this time there is a bit of silence as he says “Hello...Black residency”. 

Sirius looks concerned for a second, basically offering his hand for him to give him the phone, the memory of Lucius still clear in his mind, when Boris hears a sweet woman’s voice says with so much excitement that he is taken aback. “Hello, you must be Boris, right?”

He feels uneasy until the woman says, “I’m so sorry, where are my manners? I’m Euphemia Potter”. 

“Oh” Boris says, feeling like the tension has left his body “Hi, so nice to meet–well, hear from you, I heard a lot about you”. 

“Only good things, I hope?” She sounds like she is joking but all Boris can think about is how Sirius said she was more like a mother to him than his actual mom, and Boris knows that he really wants to make a good impression.

“The best” he tells her because it’s true and makes eye contact with Sirius for a moment, he is smiling widely at him. 

She lets out an “aww”, she sounds moved, her tone of voice is soft and special as she says “I have been dying to meet you ever since I saw the adoption announcement”.

Boris doesn’t really know what to say to that, he is not used to people being excited to meet him, he ends up mumbling a “Thank you so much–I would... love to meet you too”.

“I was talking to Fleamont and we would like to know if you would like to come to eat dinner with us?” she asks him with so much enthusiasm that it takes him back for a second. 

“Yes–I would love to” he says still feeling slightly nervous, unsure of what else to add, he looks at Sirius who is still looking at him looking content with the situation, Boris wants him to make an effort or a sign that he wants the phone but he doesn’t and Boris doesn’t know how to explain that he can’t continue so he just says “Hey–mph–Sirius wants to talk to you”.

He passes the telephone as if he was playing hot potato, he expects an angry glare from Sirius, maybe a smack but he lets out a half laugh before putting the telephone against his ear and letting out a cheerful “Hello, first of all, I want to say that I am the worst, I haven’t called or wrote to you in a couple of days, I’m sorry”.

There is a pause, he can’t quite hear what she is saying but Sirius nods as he admits “Yeah, we had a couple of busy days here but it’s fine, I will tell you everything when I see you tonight….Oh, that sounds great, yeah, of course, I’ll tell him, say hi to Fleamont for me, I’ll see you all tonight”.

He hangs up smiling, telling him that they would be leaving in a second because he knew Boris was hungry, he just needed to grab a few things, he asks if he should change his clothes but Sirius only ruffles his hair and tells him that he is fine, he just has to get him a different jacket since it is later in the day and he could get cold.

Sirius comes back a few minutes later with two jackets and the broom James had bought for him the other day, Boris raises an eyebrow and Sirius seems to realize it because he starts to explain “James is coming and he wants to teach you how to use it”.

“Oh” Boris says nodding as he starts to put on the other jacket. “That sounds fun”.

Sirius crouches down and zips his jacket, Boris looks away for a second before asking “So which one is faster, the broom or your motorcycle?”

“They are probably around the same” he says as he stands up and puts on his coat “actually, we used spells to make my motorcycle be able to fly as fast as a broom”. 

“Wait-–it doesn’t just work that way?” he asks slightly confused, he had thought that they just bought it like the broom. “You didn’t get it at a store?”

“No, it’s a Triumph motorcycle” he explains as he opens the door “We put spells on it after we got into trouble for speeding”.

He says that the last part like it was a complete exaggeration and Boris can’t help but to laugh “You should have just turned into animals”.

“Oh we have done that a couple of times” he says laughing to himself as they walk inside of the elevator “the look on the faces of the cops never gets old, one time I–”. 

He stops himself when an old woman with a white sweater walks inside the elevator with the two of them, she gives a polite smile towards Sirius and she also smiles at Boris, at first he doesn’t quite register that smile because most adults, specially ones that looked like that, they rarely paid attention to him and when they did, they would only move their purse away from Boris. 

Still he knows that smile, that _what an adorable kid smile,_ Theo used to get that smile a lot, it was great for shoplifting, some people might have looked at Boris here and there but Theo with his glasses, little chubby cheeks and pristine sweaters, he went under the radar and was actually able to take big things from the supermarket.

He still remembers that one time they smuggled a rotisserie chicken in one of their backpacks, they almost got caught but were able to ran fast enough to get to the bus, they were laughing when they were finally able to sit down, he remembers that because Theo put his head on his shoulder for a moment before quickly moving and leaning against the window instead.

The elevator stops and as the old woman makes it out, Sirius turns back to look at him and says “To be honest the story is a lot longer and more complicated but to keep it simple I bit him”. 

“What?” Boris asks him confused before he remembers what they were talking about “You bit the cop?” Sirius nods like it wasn’t really that big of a deal, Boris starts to laugh and just to make sure he is getting the story, he asks him “As a dog, yes?”

“Yeah, of course” Sirius says as they walk past the doorman. “In my defense he tried to hit James who was a deer at the moment”.

“Oh, yeah, fuck him” he says noticing that the doorman gave him a disapproving look, Boris didn’t really pay much attention to it but Sirius stops for a moment.

“Yes? Do you need anything?” Sirius asks him, the man looks surprised that he caught him, like he was sure that he was out of sight “No, then mind your own business”.

They walk away, since he has to open the door for the next person walking by, Boris only take Sirius’s hand to pull him away, they don’t really need to fight the doorman even if he does appreciate the gesture, it was like the day they first met and Sirius almost fought that couple for him. 

He lets Sirius put the helmet on his head before he got inside of the sidecar and once Sirius was sitting down, he decided to ask him “Do you think I can learn how to drive it?”.

Boris means it as a joke partly, just to freak Sirius out a little bit about how Boris who doesn’t even know how to drive a bicycle will crash his motorcycle, he always found funny how most guys refers to their cars as _their babies,_ he wants to see if Sirius has a weird or embarrassing name for it but Sirius just turns to look at him as a smile starts forming on his face as he starts to say “What if I get one for you?” 

“What?” Boris responds unsure if he is joking. 

“I mean, your feet can barely reach the pedals of this one, so obviously you wouldn’t be able to learn like that” he says like it’s only logical “I can get you a children’s motorcycle and set it to work like this one”. 

Boris doesn’t really get to open his mouth because there is a car honking behind them, Sirius rolls his eyes before giving Boris a sign that basically means that they’ll talk about it more later.

He has a lot of mixed feelings, he can’t help but to be excited but at the same time a part of him wants to say that he doesn’t even know how to really ride a bike.

He did drive a car once but that’s a different story. 

-.-.-.-

Boris is surprised when he sees the house, he is not really sure of what he was expecting, he had pictured a one floor house with a backyard or a front yard, similar to the one Theo had back in Las Vegas but this isn’t like that, it’s a big house, with more than just one floor, but it’s not the mansion that he had pictured for Sirius’s childhood, one that looks more like a mix between a hotel and a hospital, a place that might look nice and has everything you need but it’s impersonal and cold. 

The Potters’ house is nothing like that and it makes sense since the Potters are nothing like that either. 

The moment that they get out of the motorcycle, they are already waiting for them at the door and they are older than Boris expected, he imagined them in their early forties but they are well in their fifties, he can see a little bit of grey hair on Mr.Potter’s black hair but he wears it well, he is quite handsome and he can see similarities between him and James, while he is a little bit lighter than James, more tawny, they both have this smile that he can only describe as kind and natural-looking, like that’s just the way his face is, and he opens his arms to pull Sirius into a welcoming hug as soon as he sees him. 

Mrs.Potter is standing next to him and she is beautiful, she has long black hair and the same hazel eyes James has, she is darker, bronze copper like James, she looks at him with immediate fondness like she already wants to crouch down and hug him but instead she offers her hand carefully like when you are trying not to scare a small animal but Boris decides to go for a hug instead.

She is soft and warm, he is not sure if that’s just the way she is or her clothes, she also smells nice and it’s not some sort of perfume, it’s almost like vanilla and tenderness, he wants to say that it reminds him of his mother but it doesn’t, she always had a bitter unwashed smell (just like him) and was boney and cold (just like him) and she would only really hug him at night, right before they would go to sleep and it was like was she was gripping him into place and digging her fingers into his skin, like she was afraid he would be gone tomorrow. 

Mrs.Potter doesn’t hug him like that, it’s friendly embrace like she is welcoming him into the family, like they have a lot of time and when she lets go, she puts a hand on his cheek like she is trying to get a good look at him and then her smile widens as she goes to hug Sirius, he can hear her say that Boris looks so much like Sirius did at that age. 

Boris ends up looking up at Mr.Potter who smiles, he also looks excited but conflicted like he also doesn’t want to step any boundaries, he puts a hand on his shoulder as he says “It’s so nice to meet you, Boris”. 

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he says as they go inside of the house. 

Their house is nice inside, the first thing that Boris notices is that there are a lot of pictures of James there, some of them are moving like the ones Sirius showed him but some are just normal pictures. 

He remembers Theo showing him an album of pictures that he had with his mom and telling him how there were even more back in his apartment in New York and admitted that after Larry had left, she had taken down all the pictures of their wedding day and replaced them with pictures of her with Theo in Central Park. 

Kotku’s mom also had pictures of her, in her wallet and bedside table but not the rest of the house because she was worried that she would lose them, if her husband would come home drunk. 

Maybe that’s something all parents are supposed to do for their kids, maybe it’s a sign that they care. 

Boris is sure that he never had a photo album, there were the three pictures that he saved but that was it. 

He turns his attention back at the pictures, there are a lot of different ones, some very old and some recent, when Mr.Potter sees him staring, he starts to tell him small stories involved with each one of them, like how he was able to capture James’s first steps, that were actually just two steps then he fell, cried a little and then stood up, the next one was of James trying to eat one of his first toys and another one of him trying to eat his hat. There is one picture of tiny James with a bald head even though baby James had plenty of hair, Mr.Potter explains it was because they did _mundan_ a month before the picture, a Hindu tradition to shave off all hair as the baby's first haircut.

They eventually move onto pictures of James as a kid and he is no longer trying to eat things he wasn’t supposed to and then he gets to see James as an 11 year old going to Hogwarts for the first time, he can’t help but to think he is cute, he doesn’t know if it’s the glasses that remind him of a certain someone. 

From that moment on, it looks like James's pictures mainly include Sirius as well, there are some where Peter and Remus appear too but they seem to appear during birthday parties or their Hogwarts graduation, Sirius appears in different celebrations and during vacations, Mr. Potter tells him what places they were visiting, Boris only nods along as they make it into their living room. 

There he sees a picture of Lily and James’s wedding, right next to one of Mr.Potter and Mrs.Potter’s wedding, they are wearing flower garlands but in both photos Boris just can’t help but notice that he has never seen people so happy to get married, he stops abruptly when he sees the picture that it’s right next to those. 

It’s not really a picture but they have framed Boris’s birth announcement and put it right next to it, he stands there for a moment smiling like a complete idiot, he is grateful that Mr.Potter doesn’t say anything because he is not quite sure how he would answer.

James shows up a couple of minutes later with Lily by his side, they give them a warm welcome, he sees Mr.Potter ruffles his hair in the same way Sirius has done to him a couple of times, it’s common gesture but he can’t help to think that’s where he got it from.

After that they sit there together talking a little bit, even if it does seem that it’s mostly Sirius catching up with them about the last few weeks, James puts his hand on his shoulder and asks him if he wants to go to the backyard learn how to use the broomstick, he nods a little eagerly even if he is nervous and follows him.

Lily walks behind them and gives him a couple of reassuring pats in the back, once they are in the middle of the backyard, there are a lot of plants there and he is worried that he might break something but James looks so relaxed that he decides not to worry either.

“Are you ready? We don’t have to do it today” he asks him to put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m good,” he responds and does a gesture to tell James to continue.

“Alright then” Jame says as he puts the broom beside him and raises his hand over it and says as clearly as possible “UP”.

It lifts up and shoots up in his hand, James turns to look at him and says “Now, you have to throw your right leg over the center of the broom”.

Boris nods as he starts to awkwardly throw his right leg over it and Lily says “Don’t be nervous, it’s just like getting on a bike”.

“Oh, well, I don’t know how to do that either” he responds laughingly as he manages to get on it “I only know how to roller skate, are there any metaphors with that?”

“Yes, you know how at the beginning, it’s hard to find balance and you feel like you might fall but after a bit, you forget about it and you are having fun, it’s just like that” James offers reassuringly, Boris nods nervously, he wasn’t actually expecting a response, specially not a good one. “Now point the handle up to the sky”.

Boris takes a deep breath before doing that and just like that the broom is hovering about a foot from the ground and James lets go of the broom as he says “Now tilt forward a little bit so that you can get used to flying”.

“Alright” he says doing exactly that “it won’t just go right up into the sky, right?” 

“Of course not, also I don’t want you to worry about falling, I’ll catch you no matter what” James says as Boris starts to move around.

He would have found it reassuring, if he had been worried about falling and he really wasn’t.

However he is now. 

“You are doing really well, you have a good grip on the broom” James says still trying to be reassuring.

Boris just nods as he tries not to look down again as he asks, “Do I just jump to get off–”

“Oh No” James says a little panicked, stretching his arms like he is trying to catch him already.

Boris laughs, shaking his head as James relaxes when he sees that Boris wasn’t about to just jump off the broom, it made him feel better that he actually means it.

“Oh well, if you want to get off, all you have to do is lean forward slightly” he says miming the action with his hands “and that’s all, you’ll land safely, if you want to get off right now, it’s completely fine”.

Boris shakes his head, he is already there, he is just not going to stop because he is a little scared, besides this isn’t the highest place he has been in, one time Theo and him climbed a fence to get into a neighbor’s pool and forgot to bring towels, so they just climbed back in completely soaked clothes and they still made it okay.

James says that it’s the first day so they won’t go too high, he just wants to make sure that he is able to stay in the air while keeping the broom steady but he does make it high enough to touch the top part of a tree and he makes it back down almost immediately and he doesn’t go really fast, mostly because there is a part of him that still pictures falling down and breaking his neck or the broom. 

Eventually Mr. and Mrs.Potter come out to tell them that dinner is ready but he ends up staying up there for a longer time since Sirius wanted to take some pictures of the whole thing. 

James does help him to get off the broom and asks him if he liked the experience and Boris nods because it was fun, he is looking forward to doing it again, he gives him a high five when he lifts up his hand.

As they go back inside of the house, Lily walks next to him with her hands on her pockets as she asks nervously “Hey, so you really have never ridden a bike before?.  
He laughs a little bit because there is almost a sense of grief there in her voice like that was an integral part of childhood, he almost laughs when he remembers that Theo had a similar tone when he found out that he didn’t know how to ride a bike. 

It was a bad time for Theo to make that face since they were in the middle of taking one that had been left chained for a week, it was nearby the understaffed supermarket they used to shoplift at and they were trying to take it without anyone seeing and he wanted to take that time to look at Boris with sad puppy dogs eyes and visibly pout and the fact that Boris found it cute did not make things better

At the end, Theo kept the bike even if it stayed in Vegas when he left, they had some good times with it, they would take it outside in the middle of the night, Theo used to ride it and Boris would hold onto the back while wearing some old roller skates that he found at a yard sale, it was like 5 dollars.

He also left them behind in Las Vegas, it’s not like he was going to need it anyway.

Boris obviously doesn’t say any of that to Lily, she probably doesn’t even care, he only shakes his head and shrugs.

He almost laughs again at how sad her expression is, it’s not like that’s the worst thing that has happened to Boris, it doesn’t even make it to the top ten. 

“I actually still have my old bike back home and I am trying to come up with an excuse for something to do with it, I could teach you if you want and hey, I don’t know how to roller skate, maybe you could teach me”.

Boris smiles appreciating the effort, that she is trying to bond with him while not trying to come off too strong and making him uncomfortable.

“That would be nice” he responds nodding and he feels even more pleased when Lily smiles widens in response “you do seem like that type of person who would ride a bike instead of using roller skates”.

She lets out a confused laugh like she is not sure what he means but she is going to laugh anyway, then she clears her throat “I tried to learn once to try to connect with my sister but it just didn’t go well”.

“Oh, I’m sorry” he responds sadly.

Damn, why did everyone here have problems with their siblings?

Maybe it was a good thing to be an only child.

“It’s fine” she says with a shrug “now, let’s go, we don’t want the food to get cold, Euphemia is an amazing cook, believe me you’ll love it”.

When they go to the dining room, James and Lily sit next to each other, while Mr.Potter go to the kitchen to serve the food and Boris sits next to Sirius who seems to be taken in a conversation with Mrs.Potter but when he settles down, Sirius squeezes his hand and turns to look at him.

“I just realized I don’t know what kind of food you like, I mean besides pizza” he asks curiously before adding “and saying whatever I can find doesn’t count”.

“But it’s true” he argues, he usually eats anything they’ll put in front of him unless the food has gone bad, at first he is not even sure if he prefers anything but then something crosses his mind, “I think there is one but I doubt you’ll know it”.

“That sounds like a challenge” Sirius says, Boris can see Mrs.Potter laughing quietly.

“Sirius, that was literally just a sentence” Lily argues.

“Hush, I’m parenting here” he responds back, Boris is not sure if he is joking or being serious, he turns to look at Boris “Now tell me, maybe I know it”.

“Pierogi” he says with a shrug like it’s not a big deal “it’s just a Polish dish, it’s good”.  
It’s the only dish his mom ever cooked for him, he has no idea of how to make it but he has always found stores that sell it, he just hasn't gotten so lucky here.  
But he guesses that he still has luck, considering everything that has happened since he got there.  
“I think I have seen a couple of stores that sell it” Sirius says, even if he sounds unsure. 

“Cool, you can take me there sometime,” he says simply, even if Sirius does look a little lost in thought.

Mr.Potter comes back with the news that the food is ready, and then Mrs.Potter insists on serving, Sirius tries to say it's fine and he can get it but Mrs.Potter tells everyone to stay seated and then when she comes back, she has an array of food trays with her, there is rice, some kind of flatbread, soup, curries, some mixed vegetables, and yogurt. Then Mr.Potter comes with what he assumes are snacks, fried stuff and something that's maybe dessert.

Everyone starts to get their own plates and serve themselves, Boris is still looking at the food, unsure of what he should pick, Sirius seems to realize that he looks a little lost and leans over, says “Hey, do you want help?”

“Can you?” he asks him quietly, his plate in his hand.

“Of course,” Sirius says leaning closer “but why are we whispering?”

Boris gives a nudge gently, Sirius snorts before helping to serve him food, he asks him if he wants more of anything in specific, he is not about to admit that he doesn’t really recognize anything, he just shrugs before telling him to surprise him.

There is a little bit of everything on his plate, for a moment he thinks that Mr.Potter forgot to bring the forks and spoons but everyone starts eating with their hands, well, only their right hand, Boris is about to try to do the same when Mr.Potter seems to realize and gives him a brief apology before he uses the same word Sirius uses with his phone and the fork and spoon fly towards his hand and Mr.Potter passes them to Boris with a friendly smile on his face. 

He takes them and starts eating, at first he only picks at the white rice before starting with the rice before finally taking a bite of the flatbread, he ends up liking it a lot, it’s crunchy but mushy in the middle, he can feel that there is some tomato, carrots and onion.

“Do you like the Uttapam?” Mrs.Potter asks him with a happy expression on her face.

Boris nods back eagerly, taking a mental note of the name and that keeps happening as he tries the rest of the food, when he tries the first soup, she asks him if he likes Rasam or Sambar better and that’s how he finds out two names at once, she also tells him the sambar can be eaten alone or with the rice, while rasam goes with the rice as a flavoring and asks if he wants to try it, he says yes for the rasam and she pours it for him, and yeah the plain rice was good but she was definitely right, the rasam makes it so much more flavorful and it's delicious. Coconut Chutney is the one that she doesn’t tell him, Lily is the one who tells him the name while also mentioning that one is her favorite, she says it goes with the uttapam and also the Vada, which is the fried snack, he likes it but his favorite ends up being the fried vegetables, Sirius tells him it is called Poriyal, Boris is trying to figure out what it is made up of, he can tell it has green beans and carrot but there is this white thing too, James sees him staring and tells him the white pieces are coconut shavings and there are also onions and other herbs and spices to add to the flavor, either way it tastes really good.

When he finally tastes the yogurt, it doesn’t taste what he is used to but it’s not like that one time he ate Xandra’s special yogurt without sugar, this one is still good. Mrs.Potter asks if he wants one of the Laddu, turns out that is the round balls, they are colorful and very sweet, he's glad he was right about his guess that it is dessert, he almost wishes that they had left so that he could sneak some into his pockets. 

James asks if he tried the sambar, Boris realizes he forgot and only had the rasam, he remembers Mrs.Potter said the sambar can be eaten alone so that is what he does, there are leaves but he's not concerned, he learnt from traveling the world that that's normal for flavoring, he thought it would be a broth but it's clearly vegetable-based, it tastes good though, warm and really filling, he almost gulps it down, there is a sharp thing he has to spit out and he hopes no one notices but other than that he's glad he had it.

At the end of the night, he hugs both Mr.Potter and Mrs.Potter before they leave and he thanks them for everything and they say that they hope that they can see him again soon, Sirius hugs them as well and he can see them giving him kissing on the cheeks and they do the same with Lily and James.

James gives Boris a firm hug and says that he is looking forward to their next lesson, while Lily gives him a side hug and says that she is looking forward to their first lesson.

“Of what?” Sirius asks her with a raised eyebrow and an amused expression on his face.

“He is going to teach me how to roller skate” she says looking at him like she is daring him to laugh, all Sirius does is give a humorous smile “and I’m going to teach him how to ride a bike”.

Sirius’s smile softens and widens at the same time as he says “That’s really sweet of you, Boris, it’s going to be a challenge but–”

Lily smacks him in the arm but there is no real heat to it, Sirius laughs but quickly recovers and genuinely says “Thank you, Lily, it’s actually very sweet”.

“Yeah, it’s fine” she says laughingly with a shrug “I’ll see you soon”.

They wait until they get on their car for Sirius to start the motorcycle, as they fly away and Boris is surprised when he realizes that Mr. and Mrs. Potter are still outside of their door, seeing them go, he waves back at them and when they wave back at him, he can’t help but to smile all the way back home.

-.-.-.-.-

Boris is woken up by someone moving the bed sheets, at first he can’t register if it’s gentle or not, all he can think about is that one night when his father woke him up by hitting him with a pan because he forgot to clean.

He doesn’t really plan it or even thinks about it, it’s an impulse but he ends up hitting across the face for a second, he realizes only when it’s too late and he doesn’t know how it happened, he only sits there without being able to look at Sirius for a couple of minutes.

“Wow–”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he starts saying it non-stop until Sirius takes him by the shoulders and he expects him to pick him up and throws him against the wall or something but he only stays like that.

“Boris, it’s fine” Sirius says, his voice sounding calm and steady but Boris can’t tell if it’s a trap or not, “listen I’ve done things like that, one time Remus tried to wake me up and I kicked him, this just happens sometimes, I’m sure you didn’t mean to, did you?”

He shakes his head, forcing his eyes to open, Sirius has already changed clothes and looks clean, he looks around the room, he is okay, everything is fine, it’s all fine, he just needs to breathe.

“Are you okay?” he asks him still holding him by his shoulder “You are shaking”.

“Are YOU okay?” he asks back, angry with himself and he doesn’t know what to feel when Sirius laughs.

“What? Of course, I’m okay,” he says letting go of one of his shoulders and taking one of his hands “Your hands are tiny, it was like getting hit by a fly”.

Boris can’t help but to laugh then and Sirius looks relieved when he does, still he doesn’t let go of him, he sits next to him in the bed for a second before asking  
“seriously are you okay?”

Boris laughs again, he has no idea.

“Is it late?” he asks instead rubbing his eyes.

“Nah, you have time, just take a shower and get dressed” Sirius responds patting him in the back reassuringly “I’m going to go and make breakfast”.

He nods back before walking to his room, he takes a quick shower before going outside the bathroom to his bedroom, putting on his clothes and drying his hair, he walks to the kitchen where Sirius is just quietly making scrambled eggs as they listen to the radio, he can hear “There She Goes Again” by The Velvet Underground.

Theo used to listen to this song with him before they would fall asleep, he used to tell him that it was one of his mom’s favorite songs, he sort of likes the idea that Theo is probably doing the exact same thing he is doing right now and listening to the same song.

Even if he is probably not thinking about him.

Sirius puts the plate of eggs in front of him startling him a little bit.

“Are you sure you are okay?” he asks again.

“Never better,” Boris says before starting to eat the eggs.

.-.-.-.-.

His first day of school is uneventful for the most part, of course, there are a couple of things that are different, Sirius drove him to school and right before he left, he kissed his forehead, it…was new, also nice.

The rest of the day is average, classes are the same, teachers are the same and students are the same, however it’s nice to be able to know someone that already goes there, he sits in the back with Gyuri and even if they are just able to look at each other with bored expressions at different points, the company is always good. 

When it is time for recess, they end up walking together to eat lunch, they find a bench all the way in the back and they are sitting there quietly eating until Gyuri does a gesture with his hand, Boris turns to look who he is doing that to and he sees Astrid looking at this group of girls playing with their dolls until she sees him, she smiles and walks towards them.

She is no longer wearing braids like yesterday, she has two buns on her head that bounce a little when she runs quickly past a group of boys playing soccer, when she arrives, she sits down next to Gyuri.

“Astrid, this is Boris, Boris, this is Astrid” Gyuri says a little monotonously “You heard of each other”.

“It’s nice to meet you” she says shaking his hand automatically, it’s a firm handshake and Boris appreciates that.

“Nice to meet you too” he says responding the handshake before letting her hand go, he realizes that she is wearing a dimmer scarf than the one from yesterday, this one seems to fit her better, it’s pink with a small sheep at the bottom and she is wearing gloves that match it. “I like your scarf”.

“Oh thanks, my mom made it” she says while Boris starts eating his apple, he is expecting that to be it but instead she continues “She is a lawyer and has a big case coming up so she is stressed and when she is stressed she knits, the other day she made me a blanket”.

Boris doesn’t know how to respond but he knows that he has to say something because she is clearly uncomfortable by prolonged silence but all that comes to mind is _My mom used to do heroin when she was stressed._

Yeah, she probably doesn’t want to hear that.

To be fair most people don’t but it’s not like that has ever stopped him from saying something like that before, he had told it to Theo, to Kutko and to Gyuri.

But he doesn’t feel comfortable saying it to Astrid.

She probably doesn’t even know what heroine is. 

“That’s nice, I don’t think Sirius can knit but he has a motorcycle” he tells her before realizing that she might be confused “he is my legal guardian.

“Oh, my dad has one too” she says excitedly that they have found common ground.

“Mr.Castillo has a motorcycle?” Gyuri responds shocked.

“Yeah but he only uses on weekends or when there is too much traffic and he needs to get somewhere fast” she says with a shrug like it’s not a big deal.

He spends the rest of the recess with Astrid, he finds out a couple different things about her that make him decide that he likes her, for starters she is the only person who actually calls Gyuri a boy without any problems, she is good at playing tic-tac-toe and hangman, she is also good at math, has a little sister who is two years old and a dog named Rupert.

When she talks about him, it makes him think of Popchyk, he imagines Astrid cuddling with a little ball of white fur, the same way Theo and him would with little snaps.

At the end of the day, he finds out he is wrong.

When they are getting picked up, Astrid points to where her dad is, she is excited he came to pick her up and that he brought Rupert, Boris turns to look at them and first he sees this tall man with black hair and a touch of olive to his complexion, he has a beard and looks like he is in his forties, he is wearing a coat with a cardigan underneath and next to him, there is this giant dog that might as well be an small horse that could carry Astrid on his back.

Rupert goes towards Astrid on his own, he is moving his tail from side to side, it’s weird because even if he can’t recall the name of the breed of the dog but he remembers his father calling them attack dogs, if you misbehave, they would bite you.

It’s hard to believe when Rupert lets Astrid wrap her arms around his neck and lets both Boris and Gyuri pet him like it’s not a big deal. 

Her dad looks happy when he sees them together but eventually he calls for her, letting her know that it’s time to go, he waves before taking her by the hand and walking away, Gyuri groans when he sees the car arrive, Boris supposes it is because Gyuri feels weird about Nick picking him up, and then Boris feels worried when he doesn’t see Sirius at first because this might be a way to teach him a lesson because of what happened this morning.

But then he sees him, trying to make his way between the other parents and he looks so happy when he sees Boris like he missed him...and in some way Boris feels like he has missed him too. 

“Hey” he says excitedly pulling him into a side hug as they walk towards the motorcycle “Did you have fun today? Did you make any friends? Were any of the teacher’s especially awful?”

“Yes, it was fine, I met Astrid and she seems cool and there weren’t any especially awful teachers, just mostly boring” he says looking up at him with a smile “What did you do today?”

“Oh, you’ll see when we get home” he says proudly with a triumphant smile before he makes a face like he just remembered something “hey, if it’s cool, can I go buy something and then we go home?”

“Sure”.

Sirius puts the helmet on his head and helps him to get inside the sidecar and puts his backpack and lunchbox inside his bag before he starts the motorcycle, Boris is mindlessly looking at the people pass by, he wonders what they are going to pick up, it’s been a while since he has been to a supermarket.

He slowly starts to recognize the places and realizes that they are not going to a supermarket, they are probably on their way to Diagon Alley, but instead of feeling excited, he can’t help but feel a little worried that they might run into someone again.

Especially because now they don’t have back up and it’s just the two of them.

It’s not like he can even run, or he has a weapon, they’ll get to him, not because he is not fast but because they probably can just lift him up and drag him to wherever  
they are doing the same spell that Sirius does to use the telephone.

When the motorcycle stops, he takes off his helmet and passes it to Sirius, he doesn’t look worried which relaxes him a little bit because if he thinks it’s safe, then it probably is, he just takes his hand as they walk inside, still it doesn’t feel quite as magical as it did the first time, at first it was cool to find out there was this world so different from his own only to realize that it was more similar to his world than he had expected it to be. 

Even if he wasn’t going to admit it, it had hurt to hear that part that he should go back where he belongs to, the rest he could manage but he had started to feel like he belonged here and now according to this idiot, he didn’t.

He always felt like he didn’t really belong anywhere. In a way it was funny because he had been everywhere and belonged nowhere, he didn’t really have anywhere to return to, the only time he felt like he had a home was when he was in Las Vegas with Theo.

It might have been Xandra’s house but it was their home, with their room, their bed and their dog, he had gotten used to thinking about it that way but then he had to go and ruin everything like he always does.

Boris knew in some way that it wasn’t meant to last but he thinks that whatever he has with Sirius could, he is starting to realize that this could be his home, Sirius says that it will be and he is not going to let anyone take this home away from him, especially not some stupid idiot with bigoted beliefs.

He just got it, he is not going to lose it so fast.

“Sirius!” he hears a woman call, he turns around so hard that he think he might have hurt his neck, he sees a woman with a long black overcoat, he doesn’t panic right away or at least he tries not to, he looks up to see Sirius turn around and his expression is uneasy to read but his grip on his hand is tightens and he is taking out his wand until she comes a little closer, it seems like all the tension leaves his body as he waves back.

He puts his wand back inside his pocket before leaning down and telling him “Kid, you are about to meet the only extended relatives that I actually like”.

“What about the Potters?” he asks confused, he is almost sure Sirius didn’t mention any family members that he did like.

“That’s different, I got adopted so I actually got to choose them” he says cheerfully before turning around and seeing her walking towards them.

When they are right in front of each other, they hug, it looks both stiff and heartfelt at the same time like they don’t do it often but they clearly care about each other, when she pulls away, she says “It’s good to see you, Sirius”.

“Honestly, I wish I could say the same but when I saw you, there was a split second I thought you were your sister, you need to dye your hair or something” he tells her, she makes a face and hits him in the arm before looking down at Boris with a kind and friendly smile on her face, Sirius realizes that and puts his hand on Boris’s shoulder as he says “Boris, this is my favorite cousin Andromeda and Andromeda, this is my favorite son Boris”.

“It’s so nice to meet you” she says as she crouches down, like she is trying to get a better look at him, now that she is so close, Boris can see some resemblance between her and Sirius, even if her hair is lighter than Sirius, they both have strong jaws, thin lips and wide eyes.

“Nice to meet you too” he says shaking her hand, he sees her expression soften even more.

She stands up straightening her overcoat and putting her hand on one of his cheeks in a sweet playful way, she turns to look at Sirius and he thinks she is going to comment that he looks a lot like Sirius but instead she says “Congratulations”.

“Thank you” he says sounding touched like it means a lot coming from her but his tone goes back to normal “So where are good old Ted and Tonks?”

“Oh, we came to eat together, we thought about walking but Nymphadora fell asleep” she says pointing back to where she was standing just a few minutes ago, at first he couldn’t see who they were referring to but then he saw a man carrying a little girl who was sleeping, judging by her height, she must be around five or six, he assumed they must be her husband and daughter. “We were about go when I saw you and I decided to come over and say hi since Ted can’t move much because he doesn’t want to wake her up”.

“Oh, I understand” he says even if he does sound slightly disappointed. 

“Still, I would love for them to meet” she says sweetly turning to look back at Boris like she is subtly asking him if he would like to meet his daughter, he nods with a small smile “we must arrange something, you should come to dinner one of these days”.

“Oh, we would love to” he says nodding with a smile “Now go before your daughter wakes up and gets grumpy”.

She smiles back at them and gives one last wave before running towards her husband, Boris is surprised that she is able to do it while wearing high heeled boots,Sirius takes his hand as they start walking away.

“You never mentioned her before” he tells him trying to sound casual after all Sirius doesn’t really owe him an explanation.

“She is Narcissa and Bellatrix’s sister” he says, Boris feels like he has to start taking notes about his family because he is pretty sure he had never mentioned Bellatrix, even if the name did sounded familiar. 

When he remembers where he heard it before, he can’t stop himself from asking “Andromeda is not in contact with the rest of your family?”

“No, If she had, we wouldn’t be in speaking terms” he responds simply “she actually left years before I ever did, her parents wanted to have an arranged marriage and she had fallen in love with good old Ted so she left to be with him, they eventually go married and had Tonks”.

“Wow, that sounds...”

“Stupidly romantic, yeah it does and it was and it is”.

Boris nods, he can’t deny that it is romantic, the idea of just running away with someone and leaving everything behind.

Theo and him had a plan like that, they were going to escape together to California with Popchyck in their arms and they were going to…well, that’s where the plan kind of ended, they were just going to improvise the rest, it was mostly daydreaming but he still liked to think it would still happen and he knew . 

But Theo had sounded so much more optimistic when he talked about taking him to New York to live with him and his mom, he had places that he wanted him to see,  
things he wanted him to try, things he wanted them to try together. 

Still, it doesn’t matter, it didn’t happen and it won’t happen. 

And maybe it’s a good thing that it didn’t after all, that’s what got him here with Sirius. 

So maybe good can come from bad.

.-.-.-.-.-.  


When they make it home, Sirius says he is going to make dinner and Boris is going to sit on the table and work on his homework next to him but as soon as he says he wants to do that, Sirius says “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather do it in your room?”

At first he feels bad that Sirius doesn’t want him there but then he sees his excited expression and decides to walk inside his room, the walls have been painted green just like he asked him a few days ago and there is already a bed in the middle of the room with two nightstands, it’s a whole matching set and there is a radio on top of the one in the left.

The bedding is thick and made of velvet and when he touches it, it’s so soft he almost wants to wrap himself around it and it has huge pillows against the headboard, he does lean his head against those before turning to look at Sirius. 

“Do you like it?” he asks, practically bouncing with excitement. 

Boris doesn’t respond, he just runs towards him to pull him into a hug and he thinks he might have come off too strongly because he makes Sirius take a step back but he quickly hugs him back and kisses his forehead. 

He ends up staying in his room while Sirius cooks, he did all of this for him so he won’t bother him, even if a part of him feels like he probably just got him this bed so that he won’t have to sleep next to him anymore, he probably wants his bed back and already got tired of having to share it with Boris or maybe he did it because of what happened this morning.

He doesn’t want to think about it much so he just does his homework and listens to the radio until he decides to finally take that bath he has been wanting to take for a while. 

Once he is inside, he realizes it’s bigger than the one in Theo’s house, he fits completely inside, he can even get his head under the water and there is even extra space, in the old one Theo could fit just fine and Popchyk would just walk around in the water, he had to hold him while Theo scrubbed him, and when he would shake, his shampoo would always get in his eyes. 

“Boris” he hears Sirius say from outside “listen I have to go out, I didn’t realize I ran out of soda, I’ll be back in a bit”.

“Okay” Boris says, starting to make bubbles.

“Oh, don’t go into the kitchen” he adds after a few seconds.

“Don’t worry, I won’t go in the kitchen” he responds before jokingly adding “Why? Do you have any alcohol there?”

Sirius laughs a little even if it’s a little forced before saying “No, it’s just–I don’t want you to hurt yourself or get dirty”.

Boris should be annoyed but he finds the fact that he cares surprisingly nice, he says a final “I’ll be fine, just go”.

“I’ll be right back” he says one last time before leaving.

Boris doesn’t know for how long he stays in the bathtub but eventually he leaves, he wraps one of the huge fluffy towels around him and covers his hair with a different one, he walks out of the bathroom and sits on the bed, before deciding to jump on it for fun.

After that, he puts on his pajamas because he doesn’t think that they will be going out again and dries his hair.

He leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. He can feel a familiar smell but nothing is burned so he takes that as a good sign, then he goes to the living room, wondering how long Sirius will be gone. He considers watching T.V. before deciding to go to the record collection Sirius has and smiling when he sees the Queen album, “A day at the races”, he holds it carefully, reminding him how he and Theo would jump around the living room together until they were tired and would just lie down on the floor while singing the lyrics.

They would usually lose energy by the time it would get to “Somebody to love” and just lay there without singing, they would listen to it and sometimes their hands would brush together.

Sometimes he would let himself hold Theo’s hand just for a couple of seconds during “Somebody to love”, almost at the end of the song, only to start singing the lyrics of “White man”, he would laugh a little before taking his hand away.

Maybe he is pushing the thoughts away? He was always good at that.

Maybe Theo has stopped listening to it altogether because it makes him think of Boris.

He puts the record on before lying on the floor and rubbing his eyes before closing them.

No, he is not crying, he is only tired.

The first song is barely over before he hears a knock on the door, he turns off the record player and realizes that the keys are on the table, Sirius must have forgotten them, he grabs them and walks towards the door, he hears a couple of more knocks before yelling back “IN A MINUTE!!”.

He hurries because it doesn’t occur to him that it might not be Sirius since he has a way of opening the door with magic, when he opens the door he sees a tall woman with long blond hair and big blue eyes, he finds her strangely familiar, she is wearing a very long dress with a coat that matches perfectly, it makes her look even more beautiful but Boris thinks that the fancy clothing is a little bit over the top, she looks like she is going to a fancy party.

“Hello Boris” she says, her voice is clear and even if her tone is cold, he can hear some sort of warmness in it “It’s very nice to meet you”.

“Mmm–excuse me, who are you?” he says holding the door, blocking the entrance, he looks at her directly into her eyes. It only dawns on him that the reason why he finds her so familiar, is because she has a resemblance to Sirius. Even if it’s just based on the fact that they are both good looking with good facial structure and pleasant eyes, it still makes Boris’s heart stop and he is silently praying that Sirius has another good cousin that he just forgot to mention.

Maybe this isn’t his cousin, maybe this is just a friend, she is a blonde after all and–

“My name is Narcissa–”

He doesn’t even let her finish the sentence, he pushes the door closed, it stops for a second because he hit her hand that had been resting in the doorframe, he hears her shriek but he can’t even process it, as soon as her hand is out of the way, he shut the door and locks it before taking one couch that is next to the door and pushing it against the door. 

It’s stupid, he knows, she is a witch, she can break in if she wants to, he considers hiding under the table but it’s not a good idea, if she comes in and finds him there, she will attack first and have the upper hand because he won’t be able to see it, he opens the drawer and picks up a big long kitchen knife, he runs back towards the door and stands next to the coat hanger as he slowly sits down on the floor, trying to hide behind one of the longest coats there.

He is breathing heavily but trying not to make a sound, he doesn’t want her to hear him, he stays like that quiet, thinking of what he is going to do if the door bursts open, wishing for Sirius to come back sooner, praying to every single god that he can remember for her to go away and there is a moment where he thinks she is gone, she hasn’t knocked the door or said anything.

“Are you still there?” she asks gently but it still startles him, he grips the knife tighter “I guess it wouldn’t help for me to say that I’m here to apologize for my husband's shameful behavior?”

“Shameful behavior?” Boris is responding before he can stop himself, “That was not shameful behavior, you say that when a kid puts gum in someone’s hair, he said that he wanted me to torture me to death, he didn’t throw paper balls at his teacher, the next time you are trying to apologize, start by saying how what he said was cruel and evil and inhumane”.

There is a long moment of silence before he hears her say “He didn’t say that, all he said was that he got into a fistfight with Sirius and James”.  
“That’s another lie, it wasn’t a fistfight, that would mean that he actually stood a chance” Boris says laughing before feeling like he is provoking her so he says “Sirius punched him because he threatened to kill me and he just fell back because he wasn’t expecting it, James kicked him in the face because he tried to call his wife something horrible”.

He feels dumb sharing all this information with her, like she fucking cares.

“I swear that he didn’t mention anything of the sort–”

“Really? He didn’t mention that he insulted me, said that I shouldn’t be here and that I should go back right where I belong to and that Sirius knew it and that he only got me to piss off his parents?” Boris says it angrily, refusing to show any pain in his voice.

“No, he did not” Narcissa says after being quiet for a while, startling him again. “You are right, what he said was cruel, evil and inhumane, there are no excuses for his behavior. If it helps and I’m sure it might not, even when he told me that all he had done was getting into a fight with James and Sirius in front of you, I put salt in his tea”.

Boris laughs at that just picturing his face and can’t stop himself from asking “You didn’t take a picture, did you?”

“Oh no, I didn’t” she responds, stays quiet for a second and then adds “Maybe next time?”

“Why are you even here? Like for real, don’t give me that I’m here to apologize for my husband bullshit” he asks her because he is not about to make plans with someone that most likely wants him dead.

“I wanted to meet you” she responds, she sounds honest but a lot of good liars do “And I wanted to see how Sirius was doing as a father, to be honest I never pictured him having kids, he has always been so irresponsible, when we–”

“Well, you are wrong, he is a great father, one way better than your loser death eater husband will ever be”. He replies angrily because Sirius isn’t here and someone should stand up for him.

She is quiet, he thinks that’s what is going to set her off and she will break in any minute now, he is not sure what his attack plan is, he thinks he might be able to stab her in the back or in the leg hard enough to incapacitate her and take her wand, he just wants enough time to run away.

But that doesn’t happen, there is not an explosion, there is just silence and that makes him more nervous, is she waiting for something? Is she plotting? What is she thinking?

“I didn’t know he was a death eater until after we got married” she finally tells him, and Boris almost wants to call her naïve because it’s obvious that someone like Lucius would turn into that direction.

“That must have been an awkward honeymoon, did he take you to somewhere nice at least?” he tells her instead and that makes her laugh, almost giggle.

“France” she responds with a single ounce of excitement “I had been before”.

“My dad took my mom to Texas so it could be worse, you know” he tells her wondering what type of face she is making.

“Yes, that does sound worse”. There is another beat of silence before she says “Some of your neighbors are staring at me”.

“I’m not letting you in” he responds quickly, a part of him hoping that she will leave so he can just drop the knife. “But we can talk through the door until Sirius comes back, then we’ll see if he lets you in”.

She sighs before saying “Alright, I’ll take what I can get”.

Damn it. He should have just told her to leave.

Would she leave? If he asked. He thinks that she wouldn’t or she would have left already, it’s obvious that her presence makes him feel nervous so she should know. It’s a bad idea to show that he is afraid and he doesn’t want to feel more vulnerable than he already does.

“When do you think Sirius will be returning?” she asks him, friendly, casual, like she is talking about the weather, like Boris is not terrified that she is going to get back up any time soon and he is going to have to fight a group of wizards with a kitchen knife.

“I don’t think he is going to be happy to see you”. Exasperation pushes the words out of his mouth with unexpected force. “I don’t even know why you think it’s a good idea to talk to him after you stopped talking to him when he didn’t want to become a death eater”.

“Is that what he told you?” She sounds slightly betrayed.

“Yes” he responds, he is curious for what she is going to say but he makes an effort to sound as disinterested as possible.

“I admit that my parents and my aunt and uncle cut him out, my sister Bellatrix too” she starts to say her voice strangled with anger but all Boris is focused on is the mention of Bellatrix, and he can’t help to think that of course she is in contact with the person Lucius said would torture him to death. “And yes, I’ll admit that it was a cause of friction”.

Boris can’t stop himself from letting out a scoff, of course Sirius not wanting to join a group of people that actively wants to get rid of people like him would cause friction, of course it would.

“But I reached out to him a couple of weeks later”. She says it strongly like she needs to say this part, like this has been re-playing in her head a couple of times 

“Myself–Regulus and I BOTH tried to reach out to him after that, and HE shut us out. He'd avoid BOTH of us at Hogwarts, Regulus more so, and –I invited him to my wedding”.

“Yeah, he mentioned that he didn’t go” he says, that last part does not surprise him but everything else she said does if only a little bit.

“You see, he's the one who chose not to come” she sounds like she is still tormented by it “I've tried to talk to him. He's the one who's unwilling”.

“Of course, he was unwilling”. Boris thinks it is obvious, he wants to ask her if she even knows Sirius but he thinks that might be too mean because she does sound like she is hurting and he is not a fan of kicking someone while they are down “Listen I don’t think that Sirius going to your wedding would have gone well, I’m not saying that you didn’t want him there, I’m saying that it’s a bad idea to invite your “blood traitor” cousin to your wedding with your blood supremacist husband, where the place is filled with people that hate him and everything that he stands for? Like do you think a fight wouldn’t have happened if he had gone?”

She doesn’t respond, he has no idea what she is thinking so he just keeps talking “it’s your wedding, it’s your day so I assume that his parents and your parents and your sister were invited? Don’t you think that it might have been hard for him to see them after everything that happened?”

She is quiet again, he knows she is thinking of an argument, finally she responds, “Fine but he could have at least sent a letter of polite declining, as a common courtesy”.

Boris scoffs, suddenly angry at the mention of common courtesy, she could have had the common courtesy to not show up and scare the living crap out of him, but instead she did and now he is cowering next to the door with a kitchen knife, and she wants common courtesy.

“I don’t think Sirius believes that people who hang out with death eaters deserve common courtesy” he snaps back because he would bet his left arm that there were death eaters at the wedding even without counting the groom “you know what else is a common courtesy, calling before you show up at someone’s house”.

Maybe he is not just saying what Sirius is feeling, maybe he also thinks that people that hang out with death eaters don’t deserve common courtesy either.

Maybe he is just trying to hurt her feelings.

Doctor Green would tell him in therapy that it’s not productive, it leaves you exhausted.

That’s exactly how Narcissa’s sigh sounds like, exhausted like she has been climbing uphill for a long time.

“So maybe you two have something in common” he adds, trying to sound humorous but it falls flat because of his tone, he would apologize but he is not even sure if he means it, instead he says “I don’t think that you wanted a courtesy letter, I think you wanted an explanation for what happened all those years ago but you also need to understand that we can’t always get explanations, when my father abandoned me, he didn’t even leave a note telling me that he might be going to jail…also we had run out of toilet paper, it wasn’t a nice morning to say the least”.

“That sounds…horrible” she says sounding slightly horrified and enraged but it doesn’t feel like it’s directed to him.

“It’s not his worst, one time he left me homeless in Ukraine, I almost got kidnapped, at least that time I was in a hotel" he says with good humor even if he still flinches every time he sees a black van “without toilet paper of course but it’s something”.

“I’m sorry that happened” she says, it sounds genuine “I’m glad that Sirius adopted you, he made a good choice”.

Boris looks down, unsure of what to respond, there is a part of him that still thinks Sirius might regret adopting him but he is not about to discuss this with someone that is technically a stranger, even if they just spent a long time discussing her family’s bullshit.

“So about the salt” he says trying to change topics “you didn’t apologize, did you?”

“Oh, of course not, I only said _Oops_” she says that last part with a cold monotone that somehow manages to be exaggerated at the same time, extremely mocking.

“With that same tone?” he asks just to be sure.

“Yes” she confirms sounding pleased with herself.

Boris laughs picturing his face “Well, like you said maybe next time you can bring pictures”.

Before she can respond, he hears a familiar voice roar with anger from the end of the hall “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

He knows it’s Sirius but his voice sounds so different it takes a second for him to register it, he drops the knife and moves the couch from the door so that he can listen better, once his ear is next to the door, Boris is able to hear Narcissa telling Sirius to stay quiet because he is probably disturbing his neighbors.

He sighs. How is that a priority?

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Sirius says fuming with a tone that drips poison, he is not able to see his face but he thinks it’s one of those if looks could kill types of situations. “Are you here to see if Boris’s real parents came back to get him?”

“What are you talking about?” Narcissa responds, her voice sounds hurt.

“Don't play dumb or pretend to be a good person, we both know that you are neither of those things” his voice is calm and deadly, like a person who is trying to figure out the spot to hit you where it hurts the most.

“Sirius, I don’t know what Lucius told you but I swear that the worst thing I said was that I wasn't sure if you were ready to have kids–”

“Oh, because I am so fucking irresponsible?” There is this scary type of tranquility in the way he is talking like he has already found the spot “Frankly, I also think that you would be an unfit parent but I don’t go to your house to say that to your face, you should show me the same courtesy and go away, I don’t want you here, I DON’T WANT YOU NEAR MY SON–”

“Alright, I understand you are upset, I went after your parenting skills and that wasn’t fair–”

“NO, I’M NOT UPSET, THAT’S NOT EVEN CLOSE, I’M SEETHING WITH ANGER BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON YOU ARE STILL HERE–”

“I just came here to congratulate you for becoming a parent” Narcissa says, somehow managing to keep her cool “and to tell you that I think that it’s a great idea for you to adopt Boris–”

“What? Like I need your permission?” he says while laughing, Boris never thought that a laugh could be hostile but this one is, even if it should feel completely normal, he can even hear Sirius snorting before stopping himself and saying “Oh that’s so sweet, your husband said the same thing, that he hoped that I would be able to keep him so that once things are the way they are supposed to be, he would love to turn Boris to Bellatrix so that she would take care of him, now isn’t that nice? That he wants family bonding”.

There is a moment of tense silence, he doesn’t know which one of them is going to talk first, he hears Narcissa let out a horrified sound like she can’t quite believe it and Sirius laughs again, this time it is mocking and there is a hint of disbelief there like he can’t believe that she is surprised that Lucius would say something like that.

“Sirius, you know that I don’t feel that way and that I understand why you are so upset–”

“I’M NOT UPSET, STOP SAYING THAT I’M UPSET BECAUSE THAT DOESN’T EVEN CUT IT” he is yelling loud enough that Boris thinks people in other floors can probably hear him now “AND YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA OF HOW I FUCKING FEEL, AND IT ACTUALLY SOUNDS EXACTLY HOW A DEATH EATER WOULD FEEL”.

“I’M NOT A DEATH EATER” she yells back for the first time, she sounds agitated and desperate like she just wants to get a word in.

“OH RIGHT, I’M SO SORRY, MY MISTAKE, YOU ARE ONLY MARRIED TO ONE” he screams back higher, something that Boris didn’t think it was possible and his voice softens but what he says is the farthest thing from softening “you are just a death eater sympathizer that wouldn’t even invite her own sister to her wedding, please continue with what you were going to say”.

There is another moment of silence, he can hear Sirius’s heavy breathing like he just ran a marathon.

“Very well”. She is keeping a stone-cold tone even if Boris can feel some indignation and distress in her voice “If that’s how you feel about me”.

He hears footsteps and assumes she is leaving or just left, he is expecting Sirius to yell something else, to tell her that he doesn’t want to see her again but all that comes out is a half-hearted “It’s not how I feel it’s just what you are”.

Sirius says that like he is out of energy from yelling so much, he is not sure if it’s just his throat or if that is how he really feels.

Boris takes a step back from the door, unsure of what to do next, starting to think that Sirius would be mad at him for letting her stay for so long, he thinks maybe he should run to his room and stay there until his anger dies down but the door opens quickly, he closes his eyes but ends up opening anyway, he wants to see what is going to happen, he hates not knowing what is going to happen.

Sirius opens the door and drops the sodas in the couch, looks at him and lets out a huge sigh of relief before running towards him and throwing his arms around him pulling him into a hug, Boris blinks in surprise, it was surprisingly strong and suffocating, affectionate, like he was afraid he was never going to be able to do it again, a smile escapes Boris for a second.

Sirius was worried that he was never going to see him again.

When Sirius pulls away, he looks at him like he is trying to fully check him and make sure that he is not hurt “Are you okay? What did she say? What happened? I’m never leaving you home alone again”.

Boris has to bite the inside of his mouth to avoid his lips from twitching into a smile again “No, she wanted to come in, I said she couldn’t, but we could talk through the door until you came back, and she said yes."

Sirius still keeps his hands on his shoulders like he wants to make sure that he is really there.

“Calm down, I’m fine, she was nice, I promise” he says without really letting him go.

He can see regret on Sirius’s face for a second before it completely disappears when he looks back towards the door and goes “Is that the kitchen knife on the floor?”

“I did freak out a little bit, I thought she might break in at first” he says it, feeling guilty like he is throwing Narcissa under the bus somehow.

“Remind me to put some protection spells next time I go out” Sirius says pulling away and picking up the knife and the sodas “or to just bring you with me”.

Boris smiles to himself again, wanting to kick himself for feeling so good about this situation.

“I didn’t realize she was your cousin at first” Boris mentions casually trying to change the subject.

“Because she is blonde?” he asks back with a smile on his face as they walk towards the kitchen.

“Does she dye it?” he asks, Sirius splutters with laughter.

“No, she has always been a blonde” he responds as he puts down the knife and the sodas on the table “I honestly understand why you would assume that, everyone else in the family has dark hair, mostly black hair like myself, actually when we were little, her parents did a test to confirm she was legitimate”.

“And she was, yes?” Boris asks surprised as he sits down.

“Oh yeah, she was” Sirius said nodding as he takes out two forks “Our family doesn’t really talk about it because those idiots would rather cut their own foot off before they admit that they are anything but genetically superior, but I’m pretty sure she is albino, what with her pale features and eye treatments and her parents always being so careful to make sure she didn’t get sunburnt”.

Boris is surprised to hear all of that, he is unsure of what to say but then Sirius seems to have moved on from the topic as he comes back with two plates ready for dinner “Alright, I need you to be gentle with me here, this is the first time I have ever made this dish so I have no idea how the results will go”.

He is about to ask if he is trying to make the same food that Mrs. Potter did but instead, he sees pierogi right in front of him.

The last time he ate it, it was in a store in Las Vegas, he used to go there with Theo before, when they went to shoplift.  
But Sirius didn’t go out and buy it.  
Sirius made it for him.

“Are you okay?” Sirius asks, concerned, putting his hand on his shoulder and passing him a napkin, he takes it and cleans his face quickly. 

Boris feels annoyed with himself, he doesn’t understand why he has started to cry, he felt fine, he is just fine.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just hungry” he says looking for his fork just to start eating. “I just haven’t eaten homemade pierogi in a while, never learned how to cook it”.

“Oh” Sirius says, taking his seat in front of him “I hope it’s good”. 

Boris nods before taking his fork and trying the food, it’s good, it’s not exactly like his mom’s but he barely remembers it anymore, it’s definitely better than the one from the store in Las Vegas and he likes it a lot. 

He ends up giving him the thumbs up and Sirius’s face lights up. 

“I’m glad you liked it” Sirius says, taking a bite of his own plate “I found a store that sells it with a very nice lady who said that she would tell me the recipe, after I explained that I was buying them because my son is Polish, and I gave the ones I bought to James”.

Boris can’t help but smile a little bit at that, but he still feels like he might start crying again so he starts talking instead. “Well, to be fair, I’m not Polish, I was born in Australia, my mom was Polish and my dad was Russian, you said that you were East Asian, right?”

“Well, yeah” Sirius says nodding like he is not sure where Boris is going but he is ready to follow him there. 

Boris shakes his leg trying to think about how to formulate the next question “Anything more specific…like Gyuri is Korean but his mom is from Australia too like…it’s whatever you don’t have to answer”.

“I don’t mind you asking, you can ask me anything” Sirius says like he is trying to reassure him that everything is fine “it’s just that it’s complicated, the short answer is that I don’t know exactly and the longer answer is that I’m mixed, my family is East Asian racially sure but we have been in Britain for many generations and we were in France before that, my parents said that we were originally French Chinese before our ancestors came to Europe but when I was younger I did a self-study project”.

“For like fun?” he asks back teasingly, even if he is curious.

Sirius lets out a small laugh before continuing “I was trying to find out blood traitors and who was erased and cut out of the family through the generations”.  
“Oh, what did you find?” he asks, tilting his head in interest.

“Well, I did learn about that, but I also found some stuff about our background that was actually interesting, it turns out my parents were partly right for once but there is more to it than that, our racial background is a mix, a good chunk of it is Chinese and yeah we have ancestors from Chinese regions ruled by France, as far as I can understand, however there is a decent chunk that is more Southeast Asia, like Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos” he says taking a sip from the soda before adding “There might have been some other East Asian but not a lot, only a small amount”.

“What do you mean?”

“I think that there might have been some Korean or Japanese but not a lot, there is a little White there too, some French and some British” he says like he is going through a mental list “so mainly we are mix of Chinese and a bunch of what was formerly French Indochina, culturally I guess we have kept some French traditions that just stuck, and of course also just some of your typical British pureblood bullshit, but it's kinda a hodge-podge there too”.

“Hodge-podge?” Boris asks confused “Like the soup?” 

“Oh no, I meant like a confused mixture” he explains simply “so yeah I just say East Asian, it’s just more simple, besides I’m sure Mr. Lane didn’t want to hear all of that”.

“I found it interesting, everything you just said” Boris says honestly “To be honest i don’t know that much about my family history, Mrs. Winkles probably knows more than me but I like to hear about your family, it’s like the Addams family, if they were all really evil, well except for you and Andromeda’s side”.

Sirius laughs before something comes to mind “Oh, that reminds me, I’m going to pick you up earlier on Friday, I’m taking you to the dentist that day”.

“That’s fine” Boris says thinking about what classes he had that day “I think I have French at that hour, but I can just ask Gyuri and Astrid for what I missed”.

“I can help you if you want, I can speak French” he tells him, he is about to say that he can handle it on his own since he learned to speak four other languages without a teacher, he is sure that he can handle it with one but he realizes that Sirius looks enthusiastic about teaching him.

“Yeah, that would be nice, I learned a little in Las Vegas but I don’t actually count it because I mostly copied off a friend’s answers and didn’t learn much” he nods before he drinks part of his soda before asking “besides French, can you speak anything else?”

“Oh, well, in total there is French, German, Greek, Italian, Latin, Mandarin and Vietnamese” he says, Boris almost spits out his pierogi, shocked that he knows so many, but Sirius doesn’t even looks phased as he continues “in addition to English obviously, and James and the Potters taught me some Tamil, but that was later, and I understand some Turkish & Urdu from Lily but it's not even conversational let alone fluent”. 

“You learned a lot of languages” Boris manages to say impressed. “Why? I mean I learned because I had to but what about you?”

“It’s a rich people thing” he says with a shrug and imitates a snobbish tone in a mocking way that he assumes is the way his parents speak “The Black family has always liked for their kids to look more educated and cosmopolitan, nothing like those peasants, we are superior of course”.

“Ah, I see, they wanted you to be assholes who believe that they are better than everyone, I get it” he says, Sirius nods along to his words confirming it “It’s funny, my dad didn’t want me to learn any languages not even English”. 

“He didn’t” Sirius repeats, even if there isn’t a tone of surprise or doubt in his voice, there is almost a bit of anger there, like somehow, he knows.

Sirius already knows something that it took for Boris years to understand: that his father didn’t want him to learn to speak English because he didn’t want him to communicate with anyone or to ask for help, he can’t help but to feel pathetic that even when he learned, he still never told anyone and he stopped Theo when he tried to help him.

Boris still remembers how Theo's face looked scrunched up with rage, almost red when he had told him, He should be in jail for that.

And Boris defended his dad like an idiot.

“You are very smart” Sirius says, in that moment making Boris frown in confusion “and very brave, your dad didn’t want you to and yet you still learned”.

“It’s not that great,” Boris says even if he can’t help to smile “I learned from other kids on the streets and English from music and T.V.”.

“And you did it on your own, not any help from dad, and no tutors” Sirius says like it’s a huge accomplishment “you don’t owe that to anyone”.  
Boris smiles to himself like he just can’t help it “Well, my mom taught me Polish but my dad didn’t really let me use it much after she died”.

He sees something in Sirius’s face harden but, in that moment, the telephone rings, Sirius sighs annoyed as Boris keeps eating and calls out that magic word and the telephone flies from the living room towards the kitchen right into Sirius’s arms and he finally answers it. 

At first he thinks it’s Mr. and Mrs.Potter, it reminds him that he wanted to ask about why did they eat with their hands but he still hasn’t found out an appropriate way to do it, he is going to tell Sirius to say “hi” to them for him but then he sees that Sirius’s demeanor has changed, he looks a little stiff and almost nervous in a way that he doesn’t think he has seen before.

He finishes eating, trying to listen to the conversation but he doesn’t really make anything out of it so when Sirius hangs up, he takes a risk and asks him “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Sort of” he says frowning before running his fingers through his hair “I have a meeting tomorrow night with The Order of the Phoenix”. 

“Oh” he says, feeling more relaxed, he was worried, he thought someone had died “what’s the problem?”

Sirius opened and closed his mouth before saying with so much concern “I don’t want to leave you alone after tonight”.

“I’ll be fine” he insists but Sirius shakes his head “You can’t seriously be that worried about me”. 

That gets him to laugh but he still looks worried as he hesitantly asks “You probably don’t want to stay with the Potters, do you?”

Boris wants to say that he would love to stay with the Potters but it’s like Sirius can see right through him and he hates he found such an exact question about it so he can’t talk in circles. 

“It’s not that I don’t like them, I do, they seem great” he admits, he is pretty sure that they are the sweetest people that he has ever met “but I don’t know what to do, if I’m alone with them, we are not there yet”. 

He is pretty sure that if he spends enough time with them, they’ll get tired of him. 

He is still pretty sure that there is a chance that Sirius will get tired of him eventually. 

“Alright” Sirius nods, he doesn’t sound upset, he seems like he is still thinking of how to solve the problem “Would you like to stay with Lucille and Gyuri until I go back?”

Boris ends up nodding, he is more comfortable with Gyuri because they know each other already and Lucille will probably be too busy working to pay attention to him,  
Sirius lets out a sigh of relief before calling Lucille immediately. 

They wait a little bit before the phone call is answered, Sirius smiles as they talk to each other, he apologizes since he knows she probably just came back from work and that he feels like an asshole for asking for another favour but he has a work emergency tomorrow and he was wondering if she could look after Boris.

There is a pause in which she answers, Sirius nods a little before covering the phone and asks him “Hey, is it okay if you stay with Nick and Gyuri in the apartment instead?”

He nods, he won’t admit it but he is curious to know what Nick looks like. 

Sirius looks relaxed before going back to the phone call with a smile on his face, he looks like all the tension left his body when he hangs up the phone and with a sigh of relief he says “Lucille says that Nick will pick you and Gyuri up tomorrow from school”.

Boris smiles, waiting for Sirius to finish his plate, he picks everything up and leaves it in the sink before yawning and scratching the back of his neck before saying “I feel old, I can’t believe I’m tired already”.

He is not tired, not really, but he could sleep, he wouldn’t mind going to bed already.

That’s when he realizes that he is going to sleep on his own bed for the first time and he should be happy, it looks more comfortable than any other bed that he has ever had but a part of him feels disappointed.

He wonders if Sirius would be mad if he asks if he can still sleep in his bed. 

Boris forces himself to ask because Sirius did say that he could ask him anything and he thinks that well the worse case scenario he might say no.

“Hey” he says before they leave the kitchen “Can I still sleep with you tonight, yes?”

“Of course, you can” Sirius says with this sad worried look on his face “You got really scared, didn’t you?”

Boris nods, feeling a little guilty since he is not really scared, at least not at the moment and he knows this will only make things worse for Narcissa but he doesn’t think that she is going to try to speak with Sirius again anytime soon so it doesn’t really matter.

Sirius asks if Boris brushed his teeth and Boris says he didn't, so he goes to the bathroom to take care of it. Boris is finishing up when he realizes he forgot to ask Sirius his question about the Potters, so then he waits for Sirius to be done in the bathroom, while he waits, he gets inside the bed before he realizes that he is pretty sure he is on Sirius’s side so he scoots over to the other side and lets out a relaxed sigh when he realizes that he hasn’t really moved the blankets much.

“Comfortable?” Sirius asks, with a grin before getting inside the bed. 

“Very” he responds, he looks at Sirius settling down and before he can even close his eyes he asks “Can I ask you a question before you go to sleep?”

“Anything,” Sirius responds quickly, looking a little worried, turning to the side to look at him better.

“I just want to know when we were at the Potters’, why did they eat with only their right hand?”

“Oh,” Sirius says, looking more relaxed “it’s traditional in the Indian subcontinent to eat with your hands. And most South Asians will eat only with their right hand, not touching the food with their left because you serve yourself with your left hand so that you don’t spread saliva while serving yourself."

“Huh” Boris says, surprised that it was that simple and that easy to just ask.

He curls up next to Sirius, leaning his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes and quickly falls asleep.

-.-.-.-

The next day at recess, he is in his third game of tic tac toe with Astrid while Gyuri is at the bathroom, she is about to win for the third time but she gets distracted for a moment looking at the girls playing with their dolls for a moment before going back to the game.

Boris feels bad, maybe she already got bored hanging out with them.

“Hey, if you want to go play with them for a bit, it’s fine” he tells before turning the paper around “we can still continue tomorrow”. 

“Oh no, they don’t want to play with me, well Jennifer doesn’t want to play with me because her mom told her not to and they have been friends with her longer so yeah” she says dismissively as she starts drawing a circle “and well, the rest of them have been friends with her for a longer time so it wouldn’t be fair, if they stopped playing with her so we just don’t play anymore”.

Even if she tried to hide it but her lips are pulled downward in a frown, it had clearly hurt.

“That’s such bullshit” Boris says, he didn’t understand why she couldn’t just lie to her mom, it’s not like she was going to find out what she is doing at school “Fuck them, I’ll play dolls with you or whatever”. 

He doesn’t realize that he just swore until he looks back at her face, her eyes have widened for a second in shock but a smile slowly appears on her face as she says “Really?”

“Yes?” he offers, even if he has never really played dolls with anyone, Kotku didn’t have any, she liked to paint his nails with markers but that’s it.

“Cool” she responds sounding excited before adding “but you can’t swear when you come to my house, my mom won’t like it”.

“That’s fair,” he agrees, shaking her hand.

Gyuri comes back from the bathroom and they decide to play hangman until it’s time to go back to classes, nothing interesting happens, he manages not to fall asleep during the history lesson but it's a struggle, he blames Mr. Roth, his voice makes him incredibly sleepy and the subject bores him to death.

When classes are over, they walk outside, Astrid leaves with her mom, this time Rupert is nowhere to be seen which makes Boris sad, he would have liked to see him again but he is sure he’ll see him soon.

Gyuri points at Nick who is standing there between the other parents, he has this awkward tight-lipped smile on his face like he feels out of place, he waves at them and Gyuri waves back and links arms with Boris as they walk towards him.

He doesn’t know why but he pictured Nick to be a large-jawed, broad faced man, the type that looks like he could easily play the romantic lead in a Hollywood film, a guy taller than Sirius, that could put his arms around Lucille easily and pick her off the ground, with a shiny smile and beautiful eyes but he doesn’t look like that.

Nick is somewhat short, he is not as tall as Sirius, actually he is pretty sure this guy is slightly shorter than Lucille, he has a bland and pasty face, and if he is being completely honest he has just one of those faces that makes him look like an indulgent prick, his brown reddish hair is somewhat curly and it frames his blue eyes. 

Boris still thinks he could describe him as cute in a way, in the same way he found Theo cute like how he looked like a serious person and he wanted to see him laugh.

He knows Gyuri said that his face was inexpressive and in a way it is, maybe he is the type of person to keep his feelings bottled up but his eyes betray him, as soon as he makes eye contact with him, he can tell that he is anxious, maybe he is not used to been around kids and that’s why or maybe he is nervous of being around Boris, he can see how his gaze zeroes on him for a moment and he can see how he softens in some way, even if he can still see some unease there.

Gyuri takes him out from his thoughts by nudging him.

“He seems nice” Boris says as they walk towards him.

“You just think he is cute” Gyuri responds disapprovingly like Boris is betraying him somehow.

“He is” Boris responds with a shrug, he is not going to lie. 

“Oh, hush” Gyuri tells him since they are getting closer to him.

“Hey” he says awkwardly, putting his hands on his pocket “I found a parking spot today”.

“Hi Nick” Gyuri responded with a shrug “This is my friend Boris”.

“Nice to meet you Boris” he says, he doesn’t go for a handshake or a hug, he looks like he doesn’t know what to do, it reminds him a little bit of the guys who he would sell pot to, when they saw him for the first time they would always have a moment when they would go _I have no idea of what to do right now. _

Usually they would pay quickly and go but Nick doesn’t have that option.

He gestures to follow him as he says “the car is nearby”.

He is nice, he opens the door for both of them to get in the back and makes sure that they have their seatbelts on, when he starts the car, he lets them pick the radio station and he is quiet most of the time, except one moment when a guy from another car calls him a bloody dickhead, he thinks Nick is going to insult the guy back but instead he goes “Yes, have we met?” 

That cracks Boris up, he has to hold himself back from telling Gyuri I thought you said he was boring but he is funny because of two reasons: first Nick might hear him and second Gyuri is laughing and he thinks that might be progress.

When they arrive, he opens the door for them before going to the trunk and taking out a couple of grocery bags, Gyuri walks towards him trying to help him out but Nick shakes his head and tells him “I got it”.

Boris can’t really stop himself from going “Are you sure?”

Nick’s arms are skinny and those seem like six heavy bags, he is sure that he might need some help but he just gives another tight lipped smile and says “Yep, it’s just the second floor, you two go ahead, I’ll be right behind you”. 

Gyuri nods, linking arms with Boris once again, they turn towards the building, it’s green and looks a little old, it hasn’t been painted in a while but it still looks like it’s in good state, it’s not going to fall apart any time soon, they walk towards the black metal door, he opens it and they walk in, someone yells to hold the door, 

Gyuri does as he is told even if he looks like he wants to roll his eyes.

A short woman with blonde hair gets there, walking inside, when she sees Gyuri a polite smile appears on her face even if the way she looks at Gyuri has some sort of discomfort in it, almost like she is worried.

“Do you know her?” Boris whispers when he is sure, she can’t hear them.

“We live on the same floor” Gyuri says with a dismissive shrug as they go from the first steps.

“Gyuri wait!” Nick walks in, carrying the bags and putting them in the floor for a second, taking the keys from his back pocket and giving them to Gyuri “You’ll be there before me–”

The woman's expression changes into one of recognition and almost relief “Oh, you must be the father, it’s so nice to see you”.

“Excuse me?” Nick asks, picking up the bags, clearly confused like he hadn’t even heard her right, as he followed them upstairs.

“I’m Mrs. Lennon, your neighbor” she said attempting to shake his hand, but Nick had just picked up the bags, he just stared back at her showing her that his hands were full, she laughs “Oh don’t worry about it”.

Gyuri and Boris go up a few steps, he whispers back at him “how funny, she never introduced herself to us”.

Nick seems to have been able to hear because he has this look that clearly signals his complete lack of patience for anything the woman is about to say, he doesn’t even introduce himself or tries to get a word in.

“It must be so nice to finally be here, not just for you but for her as well, you know a father figure is always necessary because we need somebody to be strict, you know sometimes as mums, we just let the kids do whatever they want, I can only imagine the horror when you saw the haircut, my husband was just telling me _Oh, she is such a pretty girl, why would her daddy let her have a haircut like that”._

Gyuri scoffs clearly annoyed and hurt, Boris doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t think that there is a way to make Gyuri feel better, it’s already bad that he is still treated as a girl in school, it must suck for it to happen at home as well.

“He is a boy actually” Nick says staring directly back at her “and he can have any haircut he wants”.

The woman looks up at Gyuri one more time like that doesn’t seem quite right to her like she couldn’t believe she was wrong, but Nick only stares back at her unflinchingly like he was daring her to say something else before saying “Just so you know, it’s really fu–cruel for you to look at children like there is something wrong with them”.

She gapes surprised, looking back at Gyuri and then back at Nick, her cheeks turning pink “I’m sorry, I just meant–I’m very sorry, it was my mistake, I really thought he was–”

“Well, yeah, you thought wrong” Nick responds quickly before turning back at them and going “Kids, let’s go, come on, upstairs”.

Boris is pretty sure that he just deepened his voice like he was trying to imitate those boring dads from families in sitcoms that always say _Hi, honey I’m home._

As they go upstairs, there is just silence but he can see the way Gyuri is looking at Nick, like he is grateful and like he can’t quite believe he said anything but then he runs towards the door and opens it so that it can be easier for him to get in.

The first thing that happens when Nick walks inside of the apartment is this huge cat jumping to Nick’s shoulders, he only winces a little and says “Yes, Daisy, I missed you too”.

The apartment is not big but it’s not small either, the kitchen and the living room are basically together and there is not a lot of furniture except for a couch and a sofa for one person, the kitchen is a lot more full but there are a couple of boxes around around the floor and empty shelves that look like they were put today.

Gyuri takes two bags from his hands, Nick lets him this time because he has to walk with his cat on top of him, Boris helps him with another two as they go to the kitchen, there is more silence until Gyuri says “Thanks, what you did was nice”.

“That woman was a fu–” he starts but he suddenly stops himself dead in his tracks, Boris thinks it’s funny how he is stopping himself from swearing in front of them, Gyuri snorts “she wasn’t a nice person, so it was my pleasure”.

“Do you want help putting away the groceries?” Gyuri offers lamely.

“No, I can do it on my own, Daisy is about to get off my shoulder” he tells him as he takes a bag of cat food from one of the bags “you two should go watch T.V. or something–I mean do your homework…unless you don’t have any homework, then T.V. is fine...I’ll just stay here and make dinner”.

“You know the T.V. is broken, right?” Gyuri tells Nick who shakes his head with a smug smile, in that moment Daisy jumps off his shoulder back to the floor.

“No, it’s not” he smiles, quickly walking to the other side of the room and turning it on and changing the channels before saying “TA-DA!”

“You fixed it?” Gyuri says impressed.

“No, not really” he admits now looking a bit more embarrassed and basically whispering “We are stealing the cable from the neighbors”.

“Cool!” Boris says to Gyuri, basically asking him See, still boring now?

“Yeah, I felt bad about it but now that I know they are assholes I feel better” he admits with a shrug before turning off the T.V. “Well, anyway you two go and do homework or whatever”.

Gyuri nods before giving Boris a sign that basically meant, follow me, so Boris does that, he is surprised that Daisy follows them to Gyuri’s bedroom, while Nick goes back to the kitchen but he doesn’t complain, he had always liked animals even if he had gotten used to never getting attached to them with the exception of Poustyshka. 

Daisy head-butts his leg with her forehead and rubs it against him, he smiles for a moment before starting to pet her and he hears her purr.

“I think she likes you,” Gyuri says as they walk inside his room.

The door is white, with chipped paint along the outer edge and a brass doorknob, there is a poster of Star Wars right behind it, there are some clothes littered on the floor that Gyuri picks up quickly and puts inside a wood link hamper and his blue desk is completely covered in coloring books and pencils, his bed is unmade, with countless blankets and pillows covering the mattress, it’s messy but he is not really bothered by it. 

There are some toy cars that are resting in a bookshelf that is almost empty but does also have a couple of fairytale books and comic books, there is also a toy plane at the bottom shelf, right next to an unopened train set, to be honest it all looks brand new.

“Lucille got them for me” he says standing next to Boris “It’s all basically new, except for the cars, it’s apparently a collection that she had as a kid but never played with so now it’s mine”. 

“Cool” Boris says looking up before he sees one toy car that is a black van, then he turns around and sits on the bed when he realizes he just sat on top of a fuzzy brown teddy bear, it looks old and worn.

“It’s one that I had when I was a baby” he explains before putting it away “Lucille kept it and got it for me”.

“Does he have a name?” he asks him, he remembers that Theo had one similar but smaller and blue with a bow around his neck, named Winnie.

“I don’t know, I was two, all I know is that apparently I used to try to eat it” he says dismissively putting it away, Boris gives him a Don't lie to me look, Gyuri sighs before admitting “His name was Bada”. 

After that they end up laying on the floor and taking out their notebooks to do homework and they end rather quickly since they split it into parts and just copied off each other’s work, they end up reading some comic books until Nick tells them that dinner is ready. 

Boris is expecting for Nick to have made burgers or grilled cheese like Theo did for them when they were in Las Vegas, maybe he has ordered take out, he is really surprised when instead he seed a completely homemade plate that he doesn’t recognize, it is some sort of orange rice with vegetables, an egg and some meat around it. 

“You made Kimchi Bokkeumbap?” Gyuri says, he sounds surprised as well.

“Yeah, Lucille told me you liked it, I know your favorite is samgyeopsal but I’ll be honest I have no idea of how to make it and I need practice or it will be a disaster” he admits as he passes Boris a fork and chopsticks to Gyuri “I hope you like it”.

Boris takes a bite and decides he likes it, he looks over at Gyuri who also gives an appreciative nod showing that he likes it, Nick admits that this is not as good as the one that Lucille makes.

He doesn’t know if he is being humble or if Lucille is a mind-blowingly good cook since this is pretty good, it has a good sour, rich savory and salty flavor, he can tell that Gyuri also think it’s good since he barely talks and tries to get as much of it as he can inside his mouth.

When they are done, Nick picks up the plates before mentioning how he is going to get them the desserts, he is expecting jelly but instead he gets a large bowl and inside of it, there is ice cream, condensed milk decorated with chopped fruits.

“You made Patbingsu?” Gyuri asks, surprised taking one of the spoons.

“Yes but I didn’t have time to do the ice shavings and couldn’t find any bingsu” he shrugs even if he looks disappointed by it.

“Bingsu are red beans” Gyuri explains to Boris quickly before turning back to Nick. “It’s fine, you literally can’t ruin ice cream”.

Nick nods in agreement, they eat part of the ice cream while sitting on the table before Nick lets them finish it sitting on the couch while watching T.V., Boris is actually the last to finish his bowl, he tries to stand up to take it to the kitchen but before he does, Nick does it for him and he thanks him.

Nick stays in the kitchen for a while, checking some papers in the table while Boris and Gyuri continue to watch T.V., Boris knows that every once in a while he looks back at the screen, probably to make sure that they are not watching anything inappropriate but when they start to watch The Addams Family, he leaves for a second before coming back with a purple blanket and passes it to them before sitting in the sofa next to them, Daisy jumps onto his lap and settles there, purring when he pets her head absentmindedly. 

When the episode ends, it goes to commercial and he is actually happy that there is going to be a next one coming soon, he looks at Daisy, who jumps from Nick’s lap to the shelf and waits next to the door. 

Boris realizes that this means that Lucille is probably coming home soon, he is not surprised when a couple of minutes later she walk through the door, she barely said Hi before Daisy jumps into her shoulders the same way she had done with Nick. 

She doesn’t look annoyed, quite the opposite, she pets Daisy and smiles lovingly while trying to put down her purse, Nick hurries to take it from her, while Gyuri stands up to hug her, she hugs him back and ruffles his hair before Daisy jumps down from her shoulders.

“I see you put the shelves on” she says laughingly before turning to look at T.V. “You fixed the T.V.?”

"We are also stealing cable from the neighbors" Gyuri tells her while still having his arms around her waist “and he made kimchi fried rice”.

She laughs before saying “Just like the old days”.

“We are just missing the leak that would never go away” Nick says laughingly even if Boris could see that for a moment he looked at the ceiling with a stare that basically said _don’t you fucking dare._

“Hello Boris” she says waving at him “Did you two had fun today?”

“Yes, thank you for letting me stay here” he tells her honestly, as Gyuri sits next to him and puts the blanket on top of the two of them.

“Oh, it’s completely okay, I wish I would have been able to stay here with you two” she checks her watch and says “I’m sure your da–Sirius will be here soon”.

She walks towards the kitchen where Nick is standing next to the sink, she cups his face and pulls him into a kiss, when she pulls away, he puts his hands on her waist and presses his face into her neck before whispering something Boris can't make out, into her ear, she laughs again as she threads her free hand through his hair and pulls away, giving a playful punch into his shoulder. 

Boris thinks it's cute, Gyuri fakes barfing noises, he nudges him even if he laughs a little bit. 

The new episode starts, Nick puts his jacket on and sits back on the sofa, Gyuri turns to look at him and asks him “Are you cold?”

“Oh no, I have to leave soon to catch the bus” Nick mentions showing his watch to Gyuri.

There is a moment of silence in which Boris can feel Gyuri is shaking his leg, clearly bothered by something before turning to Nick again and saying, “You can stay if you want”.

Boris bites the inside of his mouth not to smile, he doesn’t want to make this a big deal and make Gyuri back out, Nick is apparently doing the same, he sees him rub his nose like he is trying to hide his mouth before saying “Yeah?” 

Gyuri nods without really looking back at him. 

“Alright, cool” he responds, taking off his jacket without taking his eyes from T.V.

Lucille comes out of her room wearing fuzzy pajama pants and a hoodie, rubbing her eyes tiredly, she looks surprised to see that Nick has taken off his jacket, Gyuri tells her “I told Nick that he can stay, it’s late and cold”.

“Oh” she says smiling widely with a little bit of relief, looking at Nick who is covering his mouth, pretending that he is scratching a side of his face “Yes, it’s cold, you are right”.

Boris and Gyuri move aside, expecting for Lucille to sit there with them since there is more space there but Lucille and Nick squeeze themselves together into the sofa, he is not sure if they are comfortable or not but it doesn’t look like either of them wants to pull away from each other. 

They stay like that for a while before Gyuri falls asleep, Lucille waits a couple of minutes before picking him up and getting him to his bedroom, meanwhile Boris remembers how Theo told him that he would wait for his mother every night “like a puppy” right in front of the door and worry that something bad had happened to her, Boris never really felt that way about his dad.  
When someone knocks on the door, Boris almost jumps from the couch but he still lets Nick be the one to open the door.

Nick opens the door completely and Sirius is standing there, he doesn’t let him come in immediately, he looks at him and he can see his gaze zeroes on him the same way it did with Boris. 

“Hello, my name is Sirius, I’m here to pick up Boris” he can hear him say like he is trying to see if he is in the right place. 

Boris can tell that his anxiousness has come back for a moment, Nick is standing like a kid that is about to cheat on a test, he doesn’t get why, he thinks it might be jealousy because of all the time that Sirius has spent with Lucille and he is going to make Sirus wait outside as a power move but instead Nick shakes his head and apologetically says “I’m sorry I was in a shock because you are very young, please come on in”. 

He moves aside and Boris runs towards Sirius and pulls him into a hug before telling him that he’ll go get his things and be right back, he hears Sirius doing awkward small talk as he makes his way to Gyuri’s room, he knocks on the door and Lucille’s arm peers through the door with his backpack and lunchbox. 

He takes them before walking back, Sirius is crouched down petting Daisy, then he looks up at Nick and asks “What type of breed is she?” 

“No idea, found her on the street and veterinarians say that she must be some weird combination, I stopped asking a lot time ago” Nick explains quickly. 

“That’s nice,” Sirius says as he slowly stands up “Nicholas Prewrett, right?” 

“The one and only” he nods, Boris can see Nick tapping his foot nervously against the ground. 

“Do you know Molly Prewett? She is a red-head, probably a little bit shorter than you and kind of annoying” Sirius asks him curiously, Nick only blinks blankly to the description without any verbal reaction so Sirius continues “Oh well, I mean it’s not like you can know her anymore but–”

Nick’s expression changes completely looking concerned, sad and a little angry when he asks “what do you mean?” 

“Oh no, she is okay, she is not dead or anything, she just got married so she is not Molly Prewett anymore” Sirius quickly explains “she is like great, happily married and has like four kids, she is fine”. 

Nick’s expression relaxes but Boris can still see some anger there before he shakes his head and responds dismissively “I don't know her, sorry”.

Sirius turns more sympathetic and his tone turns more understanding as he says "Don’t worry about it, thank you for looking after Boris today, it really means a lot". 

"Oh, that's fine" Nick responds smiling properly “He is a nice kid”.

Lucille walks out of Gyuri’s room tip toeing worried about waking him up, Boris wants to laugh because it’s really hard to wake Gyuri up, once he is asleep it’s basically impossible but still he thinks it’s sweet that she wants to let him sleep. 

“Hey, it’s good to see you” she whispers to Sirius “Did everything go well at work?”

“No one died” he responds, it comes out as jokingly, but Boris thinks there is some truth to it “Thanks again”.

Sirius gives Lucille a hug and shakes Nick’s hand, Boris takes a moment to pet Daisy before taking Sirius’s hand and leaving the apartment, they down the stairs, Boris didn’t realize when he went up the stairs for the first time that there was something wrong with the light, they kept going on and off but it wasn’t anything they should really worry about but Sirius almost slips for a moment.

“Hey, everything okay?” Boris asks him as he helps him to stabilize himself.

“Yeah, just can’t see very well” he groans a little bit but keeps walking “you should see the stairs at Hogwarts, those things were death traps”. 

Boris laughs but he can see Sirius looking back at the apartment before they keep going down, he waits until they are out of the building to ask him if something is wrong but before he can really ask, Sirius tells him “I don’t think that’s a cat”. 

“What?” Boris asks back confused “it looks like a cat”. 

“It is not, it’s a kneazle” Sirius starts to explain as they walk towards the motorcycle “It’s a magical beast and it is related to cats, they are not dangerous, sometimes they can be aggressive but only to untrustworthy individuals, they are actually highly intelligent and can detect them immediately”.

“Huh” Boris says appreciatively, happy that Daisy had liked both him and Sirius “So do you think Nick knows? Do you think he is like you?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs “maybe, he really just found a kneazle and thought it was a cat”.

“Yeah, besides it doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t a wizard, he is still nice, funny, can cook and drive so I’ll say Lucille has the whole package” he tells Sirius who laughs and ruffles his hair “and Daisy is cute, I would have also picked her up, if I found her in the street”. 

“Oh yeah, she is adorable even I have to admit that and I am a dog person” he tells him, it takes a second for Boris to get the joke.

He laughs non-stop for a couple of minutes before Sirius asks “Would you like to get one?” 

“What?” he asks back, unsure of what he is offering.

“A pet? Like a cat? Or a dog?” Sirius sounds playful at first, but his tone quickly changes when he looks at his face “Did you have any pets before?”

Boris is quiet for a second, unsure of what even counts for a pet, most of the ones he had didn’t even make it through the week and there was Popchyk but he was Theo’s, even if it always felt like he was theirs, at the end of the day he knew that he would be better off with Theo, if he had kept Popchyk in Las Vegas–  
If his dad had found him–

He doesn’t even want to think about it.

“Your dad didn’t like animals very much?” Sirius guesses, ruffling his hair again but with more affection, Boris nods weakly “Mine didn’t either”.

“He killed them” he felt his throat constrict after saying that, he almost wants to reach out and hug Sirius, instinctively, desperate for someone to lean on but he stops, hating the touch of desperation in it.

His hand is on his head but this time he doesn’t ruffle it, instead he is stroking through it carefully before taking Boris’s face in his hands, he looks up at Sirius’s grey-brown eyes, his face is crumpled, he can see a mixture of emotions appearing there, there is some sort of rage in his eyes and sadness in his expression, but it’s not pity, it’s like he is also grieving the death of Boris’s pets, he doesn’t look like what was lost was just a _dirty animal_ or that it was _another mouth to feed,_ he looks like something important has been lost.

Like he _understands_.

Sirius reaches out for him and hugs him; Boris pulls him closer and lets him continue to stroke his hair, his pain that had been already dulled out for a long time, it’s back and he feels it enough to let tears fall from his eyes.

“I’m really sorry that happened” Sirius tells him, his tone sounds hardened and comforting at the same time “I know it doesn’t fix anything but I promise that will never happen again”.

“Yes?” he asks hesitantly.

“Yes” Sirius responds sounding confident “let’s go home, okay?”

Boris nods quickly, cleaning his tears away, they still don’t pull away for a little bit, when they do Sirius still keeps an arm around him as he asks him “Hey, would you mind staying with me tonight?” 

At first Boris doesn’t understand, he is obviously staying with Sirius tonight but then he gets that Sirius wants him to stay in his room, he nods happily that he didn’t have to ask and for the rest of the night, he doesn’t cry. 

-.-.-.-

Boris thinks that going to the dentist is more difficult than going to a real doctor, there are so many different recommendations and concerns, he tries to hide it but Boris can see the small expression of horror when he says he doesn’t think he has ever been to the dentist.  
But nothing that the doctor says really surprises him.

What does surprise him is when they walk home and see Nick sitting down on the floor in front of their door. He is not even looking up from his book, his suit looks a little wrinkled and he looks slightly tired. 

“Hi” Boris says, unsure of what he is doing here. 

“Oh hi Boris” Nick says, he doesn’t look anxious or worried, he looks almost defeated like he just wants to get this over with “Hello Sirius, the security in this building is terrible, I think you should talk to someone about it”.

“I will” Sirius responds, sounding confused “How did you even get my address?”

“I got it from Lucille’s agenda, she asked me to write your address and your telephone number for cases of emergencies because my handwriting is more readable” he tells them while he closes his book “I didn’t go through her things or anything like that”.

“So is there an emergency?” Sirius asks unimpressed, Nick looks down, Boris assumes that probably means no “Don’t you have work?”

“Nope” he says, shaking his head “I asked for permission to take today off because I had an important check up with my doctor…I think I might be dying”.  
“Of what?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m going to the doctor” he said with a fake cough “but don’t worry the doctor will say I’m alright and it was just a cold or something like that”.

“Terrific,” Sirius says simply before asking “So you took the day off to read in front of my door?”

Nick stands up when a woman walks past them without really looking at them, after she is out of sight, he whispers “Listen, can I come in just to talk for a second?”

“Sure but I think that you might need more than just a second, don’t you think?” 

“Maybe” he tells him, moving aside so that he can open the door.

They walk inside of the apartment and once they are inside, he is expecting Nick to start talking, but Nick looks around for a couple of minutes, he is not sure if he is thinking of what to say or if he is just looking around, trying to find something.

“Is this about Daisy?” Boris asks breaking him from his trance, Nick just blinks “because she is a neazle?”

“Kneazle” he corrects him politely, that’s all the confirmation they need anyway to know why he is here.

“So why haven’t you told Lucille that you have magic?” Sirius asks him right after that.

Nick looks alarmed, like Sirius just threw a bucket of cold water out of nowhere, he flinches and his nostrils flare but he keeps his tone calm as he says “Because I don’t have magic”.

Sirius tilts his head confused for a moment before going “Oh, I get it, you are–”

“I have Developmental Magical Ability Disorder” Nick says loud and clear, like a teacher would when he is giving important information and doesn’t want you to forget “Or DMA for short, if you have bad memory”. 

The last part comes off as snappy but Sirius doesn’t seem to mind, he only nods like he is taking in new information, now looking a little impressed “Do you want to drink or eat something while we talk? I’m sure, you have more to say”. 

Nick looks hesitant like he didn’t plan to stay here that long, he goes from looking at Sirius to looking at Boris, it takes a second for Boris to realize what he wants, he is staring at him concerned and discomfort like Boris is going to hear something that may shock him or make him uncomfortable. 

Ha, he could laugh. 

But he takes pity on Nick, so Boris is not going to play dumb and pretend he doesn’t understand Nick wants to talk to Sirius alone, he’ll go. “I have homework” he tells Sirius before taking his backpack “Call me if you make tea and biscuits”. 

“Sure thing” Sirius agrees before turning back to Nick “Follow me, the kitchen is over here”.  
Boris goes to his room and even if a part of him wants to eavesdrop, he decides to stay in, he will only go out if he hears screaming but he is not expecting the worst.  
Who knows? Maybe they’ll actually end up becoming friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once again want to thank my friend skypalacearchitect who helps me with these chapters, she came up with term "Developmental Magical Ability Disorder" and with the joke about the addams family, she was specially helpful when it came to writing about The Potters and about the Black family. 
> 
> Also I know that there is this whole debate of Astrid, if she is real or not but i'm deciding that she is for this fic, even if she is very different, also Gyuri is Korean and trans and so is his aunt Lucille, I hope you liked this chapter and found it interesting, if you want to talk to me or have any question, my tumblr is @multigloria.


	7. Complicated Family Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the second cousin of Molly that is a squib and an accountant and that Ron said he was never spoken of in the Weasley household.
> 
> Yep, that's Nick and he is spoken of here...so yeah, i hope you like him.
> 
> Content warning: Family estrangement/disowning, discussion of war & safety plans, mention of theft (shoplifting), alcohol and allusion to underage drinking, past microaggressions of racism, bullying through incest jokes, fictional ableism, murder mention, mention of parental death, reference to physical attack on a child, choking on food mention, mention of canonical incest (not portrayed positively), discussion of past suicide threat, past child abuse through verbal berating, abandonment issues.

“So what’s it like being Molly’s cousin?” Sirius asks once Boris’s bedroom door is closed.

Nick half laughs and half scoffs to the question before answering “You probably know her better than me”.

“We are not that close, we kind of just work together in a way” Sirius is pretty sure Molly thinks he is as annoying as he thinks she is “Actually if she dislikes you then that means we might have something in common”.

“I wouldn’t say that she dislikes me as much as she pretends that I don’t exist” he says, his tone of voice numb like he was tired.

“I have family members like that” he says on an impulse, realizing that this was probably a sore topic and maybe he should be trying to find some common ground, he had suspected it was like that last night, but now he is completely sure.

“Oh, that’s nice, we should form a club” Nick says, his lips curving into something resembling a smile, Sirius doesn’t know if he is joking or if he is trying to throw a jab at him, he is clearly trying not to look at him, instead walking around the kitchen.

“Do you want to sit down?” he offers to make him stop pacing.

“Yeah” he nods before pulling out a chair and laughing awkwardly for a moment “Sorry, I just feel weird here”.

“Why?” he says sarcastically “Because you were waiting in front of my door all morning unsure of when I was going to show up and we have only really seen each other once?”

“Surprisingly no” he answers like that had been the most natural part of the whole thing “Honestly I should have seen this coming ever since Lucille told me that she met you”.

“Why?” he asks confused, he is not even sure how he would have been able to see this coming.

“Because I don’t have a lot of luck, that’s why I should have seen it coming” he tells him, straightening himself in the chair, now he is looking at him but the emotion in his eyes is inscrutable “When I came here, I knew that there was a chance of us running into someone but I doubted that anyone of my family could recognize me because it’s been years since the last time they saw me and I doubt my parents are out there showing pictures of me so I assumed that I could go under the radar, but then Lucille calls and says how Gyuri’s friend was adopted by a nineteen year old named Sirius _Black"_.

Sirius feels like his name is some sort of punch line of a very long joke but he is too focused on the part when he said that his family had not seen him in years, he is not naive, he knows that there are wizards who send their kids away when they don’t have magic and act like they never existed, he knows his family has done that thousands of times but he just didn’t think that the Prewetts were one of them. Now that he thinks about it though, he shouldn’t have been surprised, people who do that aren’t exactly open about it, that’s sort of the point.

“And I should have known I was fucked then, but I thought how is Sirius _Black_going to know anyone from my family well enough, there is no way” he continues as he pinches the bridge of his nose as if he is getting a headache “and then you asked about Molly”.

He stays quiet for a moment, tapping his fingers against the tabe and he sniffles a little “Believe it or not, I haven’t thought of her in years”. 

“I’m sorry” he says feeling like he broke a dam, and now everything can come gushing out. 

“She was my favorite cousin” he tells him like he is looking back at some sort of memory “I haven’t seen her since I was seven”.

Sirius feels like he should apologize for that as well, he feels that if Molly was your favorite cousin, then the rest must have been very boring, but he chooses not to say that because Nick looks so miserable in that moment, looking down at the table, looking lost, angry and heartbroken.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that she is fine, that she is married, that she has kids now” he says, it comes out all at once like he planned to say that but then he makes eye contact with Sirius and sighs “You said that she had four, right?” 

“Five” he tells him, because there is no point in lying about this. 

“Five?” he replies with lifted eyebrows and a shocked expression on his face. 

“The last two are twins,” Sirius remembers that much, even if he can’t remember their names, he thinks the oldest one is Will or Bill or something but the rest are beyond him, “but yes, five.” There isn’t anything else to say really, but somehow he feels like apologizing. 

Nick stares at him for a moment before he starts laughing humorlessly “I don’t know why I expected that she would have some fucking common decency and–” 

He stops himself dead in his tracks, takes a deep breath and says “I don’t know why I always expected that if anyone was going to reach out, it was going to be her”. 

“Yeah” he nods, he knows exactly what he feels like and what he means; in some way he expected Narcissa to leave the family the same way he had at some point, she had always been _the nice one_ after all but life doesn’t work out that way apparently. “I would have thought so too”.

They stay quiet for a while before Nick says “Can you not tell Lucille about any of this?” 

“Sure” he says immediately, he doesn’t think it’s his place to tell her “but can I ask why didn’t you tell her?”

He is not really expecting Nick to answer, he expects him to shrug like it’s none of Sirius’s business but he does “I was going to tell her, like two years ago when we started dating, I introduced her to my parents and they said they liked her but when I brought up the idea of telling her, they asked _Why? It’s not necessary_ like it wasn’t my place and it had nothing to do with me”. 

“They said what?” Sirius asks angrily gritting his teeth. 

“It’s okay, they were right, I’m not like them, I’m not like you, I don’t belong here, I never have, my place is not with them, it’s with Lucille, she is my real family” he says camly and earnestly but there is something in his tone of voice that sounds tired like he is used to it and has been telling himself this thousands of times “And I’ll be honest, a big part of me didn’t think that it would come up ever again”. 

“They sound like assholes” Sirius says before thinking, because it’s true, he might barely know Nick, but he can tell Nick deserves better than to deal with all that crap and just be resigned about it, used to it. Like it’s normal.

“They were decent enough to let me know about the war, they call me like four times a month, maybe less” he says like he is trying to remember “it was something like _Don’t come to England_ and i was like _Why would I? It’s cold and you are there, I don’t like it, I would never go..._ and But then Lucille got the call about Gyuri and I knew she was going to come and I would follow her anywhere, she could ask me to go to an active crack house and I would go, besides what kind of person would I be if I just leave a little boy behind just because I don’t know how to handle it?”

“An asshole?” Sirius says. 

“My parents” Nick says instead. 

“Same difference” Sirius says, making him laugh a little bit. “So your parents have no idea you are here... 

“I don’t have to tell them anything, I don’t need their permission” Nick says defensively “I am adult, I’m twenty six, I have my job and I make my own money–”

“Oh man, I am so not judging you” Sirius says shaking his head “I'm impressed, good for you”.

Nick blinks for a second, almost surprised but then he shrugs like it’s not even a big deal before laughing a little bit and saying, “This whole thing is so weird”.

“Which part?” Sirius asks amused.

“Everything but especially the fact that I’m having a conversation with a member of the Black family, it’s so weird” he says laughingly like the idea is alien to him.

“Oh, well, not to ruin the mood but I got disowned so I’m technically no longer part of The most noble and ancient house of Black”. 

“I assumed you were,I’m not judging, I’m actually impressed, good for you” he tells him like it’s obvious “mostly because of Boris and how you are with Lucille and basically the fact that we are having this conversation”.

Sirius smiles for a moment before something clicks into his head “You know of my family?”

“Sort of, I know they are those rich, evil and want to kill everyone, types right?” 

“Yeah, those are the basics” he nods in agreement “It’s good to know that people can tell that I was disowned right away”.

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to think of you at first” he tells him laughing a little “There was a moment when I thought Boris might have magic but that’s only because I never heard of a wizard adopting a muggle before, at least not here”.

Sirius doesn’t know how to respond, he hadn’t really thought about any of that stuff when he adopted Boris, he was just thinking about giving him a home and how much he wanted to take care of him, he really hadn’t thought what the wizarding world would think, it really wasn’t any of their business. 

“Does it happen a lot in the States?” he asks him instead. 

“Not a lot but it does happen, like one of my friends, Elvira, is a muggle and her adoptive father is a wizard”.

“Really?”

“Yeah, she was adopted when she was like eight” he looks back at the table like he is trying to do the math “and I think her sister Jade was adopted years later when she was like fifteen”. 

“Huh” he says, unable to stop himself from smiling “So she still lives in the States?”

“Yeah, Elvira did move out of Florida a couple of years ago, after a kind of fucked up break up, and moved with her sister in New York and Mr.Silva and his wife did stay in Florida for a couple of years but eventually they moved to New York because they missed their kids too much”. 

“Oh yeah, I understand that” he says, remembering how much he misses Boris when he just goes to school, he can’t imagine not seeing him at all. 

“I doubt they’ll come to visit considering the circumstances, but hey if you ever go to New York, say hi to them from me”. 

“I’m sure they’ll be able to visit once the war is over” Sirius tells him, Nick looks at him like he is crazy.

“Sure” he says with a weak humorless smile “if we live”.

“We’ll be fine” he says, then he remembers Nick is a squib who has probably experienced dealing with bigoted wizards and how that is actually a danger for him, and Sirius must sound like an asshole, so he adds weakly, “I mean it’s not like anyone would target you since...” he is about to say _you don’t live in the wizarding world,_ but maybe that’s a sore spot for Nick considering his shitty parents sent him away, so he settles on, “you are staying under the radar so you probably won’t get caught up in it, the kinds of idiots who would want to join Voldemort’s cult are generally wizards who don’t know shit about navigating Muggle London or any Muggle place really, after all.”

“Maybe,” Nick says looking a fraction more relaxed, “But what about you?”

“Well, I’ve been told many times that I have no sense of self-preservation, so I’m used to it, I’ve come out alright so far, so why stop now?” Sirius says, thinking of how many scrapes he’s been in at Hogwarts, not to mention back at 12 Grimmauld Place with what his parents put him through.

“Oh I’m sure you’ll get by just fine,” he says like that’s evident but there is this tone in his voice that just sounds condescending “I just meant that things must be different now because of Boris”. 

“I can protect Boris just fine” he says both firmly and dismissively at the same time.

Nick stares blankly at him, he is just looking at him blinking before asking “So you don’t have an escape plan?” 

“I don’t run away from situations” he says feeling like Nick is judging him “That would make me a coward”. 

“There are worse things to be” Nick says carefully, like he is looking for the right words to use “My friend Danielle lives with her roommate Elena who is a witch, they have a escape plan in case everything really goes to shit, not because she thinks that she can’t protect Elena but because she knows that if things get bad, they need a plan B and I know you probably think you don’t need it but maybe you could have it just in case”. 

Sirius doesn’t like how he is talking to him, like he is talking to a dumb child who can’t listen and Nick is not that much older then him, he just acting like he is, the same way Narcissa used to do it, she always acted like she knew best and exactly what to do, like she could never be wrong. 

Nick sounds exactly like that.

“I don’t really remember at what point did I ask for suggestions or parenting advice from you? Especially since you don’t have kids”.

“Yeah, okay, that’s fair” Nick says completely unbothered. “For the record, I’m not trying to attack you okay?”

“Then what are you trying to do?” he asks back, he can tell that Nick wants to roll his eyes and he is holding himself back.

He sighs, trying not to rub his face, instead putting his hands back on the table saying “I know we just meet and that the situations are different but I feel like we somehow are in the same boat and should look out for each other, wouldn’t you agree?” 

Sirius doesn’t really know what to answer to that question, he agrees with what Nick just said but he still doesn’t want his unsolicited advice, either way Nick doesn’t really let him get a word in as he continues “Listen, I’m not telling you all of this because I think you are horrible father that doesn’t know what he is doing and needs supervision, I actually think you are a good father”.

He sounds honest but Sirius wasn’t expecting a compliment and thinks this might just be a way to appease him. 

“I mean it,” Nick insists quickly, “I’m not trying to make you feel better or to make you like me, I’m not that type of person”.

Well, he can't really argue with that. If Nick was trying to make him like him, he probably would have approached the situation in a completely different way, starting by trying to flatter his way into his apartment, instead he had been honest and straightforward.

“Besides I feel you already like me a little bit” he says with an attempt at a charming smile that looks more comical than anything else.

Sirius laughs a little bit to that before shrugging and saying “I do find you way less annoying than your cousin”. 

“Aw, that’s so sweet” Nick responds with fake fondness “I’m sure you are the less evil of your cousins too”. 

“Well, My cousin Narcissa was always known as the nice one but she married a Death Eater” he tells him, for a moment he thinks that he might have made a mistake because he can see fear appear on Nick’s face for a moment, he can feel the panic radiate off of him before Nick steels himself.

“Nice doesn’t always mean good” he says plainly “I’m sure that if you ask people, they would think my parents are nice too”. 

For a moment Sirius feels defensive about comparing Narcissa to Nick’s asshole parents before he remembers coming back home and seeing that big kitchen knife on the floor of the living room and all he can really say is “I would kill for a glass of wine right now”. 

“Yeah, to be honest I usually need to get drunk to talk about my parents as well” he says now rubbing his face “Lucille says that it’s not healthy”.

“So what you are saying is that I should pick you up from work one day so that we can go and get drunk and don’t tell Lucille?” 

“I don’t really hide non-magic related things from Lucille, beside she does it too, sometimes, she is just self-aware and knows it’s a problem”. 

“So what you are saying is that we should wait until Lucille gets really mad at her parents and then we can all go get drunk together?”

This time Nick does laugh for a couple of minutes before shaking his head “Sure, one day but for now, I really should go”. 

“Oh” he says feeling a little disappointed “Are you sure you don’t want to stay? I was about to order take out”.

“I would love to, but I have to pick up Gyuri” he says as he starts standing up “I’m just going to say bye to Boris before I go”.

Sirius nods before showing him towards Boris’s bedroom, he knocks on the door and Boris comes out already wearing his pajamas, he says goodbye to Nick but instead of hugging him, Boris pats him awkwardly in the back like he is not sure if he is comfortable or not yet, Nick just smiles at him before returning the gesture.

They walk him to the door and as Sirius closes it, Boris says “I’m a little disappointed that you two didn’t have tea and biscuits”.

Sirius laughs before saying “Well, we ran out of biscuits and tea, actually all we have is a bag of celery, mustard and soda”.

Boris makes a resigned face like he is picturing them seriously eating that for dinner, Sirius tries not to laugh and quickly says “Oh no, kid, we are not doing that, we are ordering a pizza”. 

“Oh” he says looking relieved.

“I would never make you eat anything like that” he promises Boris, he knows that Boris constantly says that he can eat anything but Sirius doesn’t want him to just eat whatever he can find.

“That’s not what I was thinking” he says laughingly “I was thinking of what shop I was going to shoplift, I was just annoyed I had to change”.

An involuntary laugh escapes Sirius lips, he doesn’t know if he should be laughing right now, a part of him is touched that Boris was ready to do that for him but he doesn’t want Boris to think that he has to do anything like that anymore. 

“But I would have still done it” he insists with a smile, he clearly means it as a compliment like he is telling him that he would do anything for him.

“I know, you are a true ride or die” Boris smiles pleasantly when he hears that “but you don’t have to worry about doing any of that, I’ll get groceries tomorrow, I promise”.

“Okay” he says with a shrug like it isn’t a big deal.

Sirius orders a pizza for them and after trying to use the two-way mirror to contact James and getting no response, he leaves a message on his answering machine asking him if they are all still going grocery shopping tomorrow, after that he sits next to Boris as they wait for the pizza while watching an old episode of Bewitched, at one point Boris makes a joke by touching Sirius’s nose and saying that he was trying to see if anything would happen. 

When the pizza arrives, Boris doesn’t look like he wants to move since an episode of The Addams Family is starting, he tells him that they can eat while watching T.V. If he wants to, Boris nods eagerly before rushing to the kitchen to get the sodas and napkins. 

“I kind of picture your mother looking a little bit like Morticia” Boris says while munching his pizza “but like terrifying”. 

“Now that is an insult to Morticia: Walburga could never look so warm or loving,” Sirius laughs. “...Honestly though, I suppose that Andromeda looks a little bit like her, in expression and in dressing style. Not much though.”

“Huh, my dad looked warm and loving” Boris says as he cleans his fingers with a napkin.

Sirius has a hard time imagining that man looking anything like that in any context, of course, he had seen pictures of him, where he looked harmless, the type of person who Sirius thought he could beat easily in a fight or take down with one punch.

He would love to punch him.

“I did imagine that she had one of those…” Boris says as he points at his eyes like he is trying to remember the right word “this look that could make anyone shit their pants”.

“A death glare?”

“Yes!” he says as he takes a different slice of pizza. 

“Yeah, she had one of those” Sirius admits, he still remembers it very clearly but only because she would look at him like that so often, it was either that or this displeased look on her face.

“My dad had one too” Boris says smiling at him like he is saying _we have so much in common. _

Sirius smiles back before passing him one of the sodas and Boris sits closer to him, eventually they finish the pizza and decide to stay on the couch to watch T.V. for a while, Sirius isn’t sure at what point they should go to bed, he hadn’t really put an exact hour for bedtime, it should probably be before ten, right?

Ten seemed too early but they did have to wake up early tomorrow and he is about to ask Boris if he is tired when he notices that his eyes are closed and he has his head against one of the pillows.

He thinks of waking him up before he remembers how he reacted the last time and he doesn’t want to scare Boris but he knows he’ll wake up uncomfortable and cold if they fall asleep like this on the couch.

Sirius manages to move his arm to put it around Boris to see if he can carefully pick him up without waking him up, he puts his other arm around him carefully and when he feels ready, he stands up, puts a steadying hand on Boris’s back, and Boris rests his head on his shoulder.

He hears the telephone ring when he gets close to Boris’s door,but there is no way he can really pick up even with magic, he could still end up waking him up, besides his hands are full with holding Boris, so he decides to just return the call later after he is able to put Boris to bed. 

When he settles Boris on the bed as cautiously as possible, he tucks him into bed and once he is covered by the bed sheets, he can see Boris draw his legs to his chest and wraps his arms around his pillow.

He stays for a little longer, just looking at him sleep before kissing him on the forehead and standing up and going to the living room, he picks up the soda cans and the pizza box, he hears the telephone ring again and he expects that is James, he says “accio” and holds the telephone, answering it by saying “So are we seeing each other tomorrow or not? Honestly what is even the point of–”

“Hello Mr.Black”.

It takes a second for him to realize that it’s Mrs.Winkles and another second for the feeling of his soul being on fire to stop.

“Hello Mrs.Winkles, I’m so sorry, I thought you were my brother” he explains.

“It’s fine” she says calmly, he hears the shuffling of papers in the background “I’m so sorry for calling so late, you must have put Boris to bed half an hour ago”.  
He checked the watch and realizing that it’s just ten o’clock, the time that he thought it was too early.

Shit.

Well, technically he fell asleep at the right time, so he says “Yes, he is in bed right now”. 

“Oh I’m glad” she says sweetly, somehow Sirius can picture her writing that in her notes “because he needs ten to eleven hours of sleep so he should be in bed already”.

There is not really any harshness in her voice, she sounds like she wants him to keep that in mind, he nods before feeling stupid since she can’t see him, so then he just says “Yes, I know and he is already asleep”.

He hears a little bit more shuffling like she is talking to someone else for a moment before she quickly returns to the phone call “So sorry, I’m just calling you to remind you that I will be coming over this Friday”.

“Great” he says, feeling like he should write it down and having nowhere to do it “That’s perfect”.

“Goodnight, Mr.Black” she says, more shuffling happened, like she has the telephone between her face and her shoulder “see you on Friday”.

She hangs up first and Sirius lets out a sigh of relief before the telephone rings again, he picks it up quickly and automatically says “Hello, is there anything else I need to do, Mrs.Winkles?”

“Are you okay?” James asks on the other side of the line “I swear you sound like you are about to have a stroke”.

“Because I am” he admitted before letting himself fall next to one of the couches “I thought you were my social worker, we just hung up”.

“Everything okay?” James asks, worried.

“She is coming this Friday, so I really need those groceries” he replies feeling stressed out.

“You sound like you are going to rob the store” James responds, Sirius would have appreciated the joke more if he didn’t have a giant food list made by the nutritionist on his empty refrigerator “Yes, we are all going tomorrow”.

“Cool,” Sirius says, feeling more relaxed, “I’ll see you there, after I drop Boris off at his school”.

“See you there,” James says before hanging up and Sirius crosses something else from his mental list.

There is really just one thing missing from the list.

The therapist.

He had made an appointment, even if he had postponed making it and he is not looking forward to it, he is however looking forward to crossing it off his list.

But that’s for him to think about tomorrow, for now he goes to his room, he changes his clothes and gets inside his bed, he turns off the lights and he is about to turn on the T.V. to help him fall asleep when his door creaks open, he sees Boris walking in, rubbing his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he sits down quickly “Did you have a nightmare or–”

“Can I sleep here?” he asks, his voice sounds tired like he doesn’t want to talk about or maybe he is just sleepy.

“Sure” he says moving aside so that Boris can get in. 

Sirius lays down again and sees Boris gets inside of the bed, he curls up next to him and rests his head on his shoulder and he is surprised by how quickly they both fall asleep after that.

-.-.-.-

When Sirius drops Boris off, he wishes him Good Luck before smoothing his hair back from his face and kissing the top of his head and watching him walk away.

He drives away right after Boris makes it through the door and he is suddenly relieved that Boris is a muggle because he would never be able to send him to Hogwarts, he has no idea how other parents do it.

Of course, his parents hated him and were probably happy to get rid of him for a while, but he has no idea how _good_ parents do it.

He makes his way to the supermarket and the first person that is there is Peter who seems to be lost in thought before he actually realizes that he is walking towards him, instead of saying _Hi_, he gives him a weird look and says “You are here early”.

“I’m just in time” he argued showing his watch.

“That’s still early for you, in Sirius hours being on time means _I’ll be there in half an hour unless it’s an emergency”_ Peter responded, imitating his voice at the end even adding a hair flip, Sirius swats at him, but he dodges easily while laughing.

“Well, excuse me for trying to look good, I have a lot to work with, unlike–”

Before he finishes his sentence, he gets distracted because he feels someone put his arm around him, he almost gives him a hard nudge before he realizes that it’s James and pulls him into a hug instead.

“Hi Peter,” James says, stretching his arm to pat him in the shoulder.

“Hi James,” Peter responds, sounding a little flat, but his voice sounds normal when he says, “Hey Lily”.

“Hey Peter,” Lily says, fixing her beanie and hair. “Where is Remus? He usually comes here with you”.

“Oh, he came on his own, he said he had something to do” he says with a shrug.

Sirius is surprised, Remus usually made it in time, even if his hair looked like a bird nest and one time, he was tired enough that he wore two different types of shoes.  
They don’t have to wait for long because Remus appears just a few seconds later, he walks towards them and starts to say _Hello_ to all of them, starting with Peter and when it gets to him, Sirius is about to brag that he made it before him since Remus complains when he is late sometimes but before he says anything, Remus quickly goes “Hey, I tried to call you last night”.

“Oh, that was you?” he says surprised, he had completely forgotten about that phone call “Sorry, I was putting Boris to bed, bedtime is so challenging, when you have kids, you’ll understand”.

“Oh my god, this is just like the other day when I called you like three times” James says laughingly “And you–”

“I already told you, Boris was curled up next to me, I just couldn’t wake him up, you just don’t understand the joys and trials of parenthood yet” he tells them, James opens his mouth and a shocked laugh comes out and Lily snorts a little bit, Peter snickers and Remus just smiles widely.

“You have been a parent for a week”.

“Love isn’t measured in time, you heartless bastard” he says half-joking because when he looks into Boris’s eyes, he feels a level of aching that he had never felt before, as if they, despite only knowing each other for a couple of weeks, had been apart for too long “are you saying I don’t love my son?”

“WHAT?” James says shocked “NO–”

“I can’t believe I’m best friends with a monster, Mooney you are my new best friend” he says turning towards Remus.

It was an old joke that he used to make when they were at Hogwarts, sometimes Remus would just say that he didn’t want to get involved and other times he would play along, still he stopped making it since they were in fifth year and thinks that he might have just made a mistake but then Remus says “I cannot believe that you would say something like that Prongs, what a horrible thing to say to a new father”.

“Exactly!” he says triumphantly, while James groans and Lily tries to stifle her laughter “besides there isn’t any love purer than new fatherhood”.

Peter gives him a strange look before saying “Don’t you hate your own father–”

“Oh, I love my father Mr. Potter” Sirius says, he is pretty sure Orion never felt the way Sirius feels about Boris or had any type of love towards him “Now let’s go inside, I have this giant list–”

“You brought a list? Oh my god, parenting is changing you” Lily says teasingly, he can’t really argue with that because it’s true, he usually comes without a list, walks in and buys whatever he likes but this isn’t really about him, it’s about Boris. 

“Actually I have two lists, one based on everything the doctor said I would need and another one in which I asked Boris what he wanted”. He takes out a long paper and then a small piece of paper that Boris had ripped from one of his notebook “He asked for oranges, apples, tea bags and bacon”.

“That’s somewhat healthy” she says with slight surprise, obviously she didn’t expect that list from an eleven-year-old.

If Sirius is being completely honest, he had been surprised as well, when he had asked Boris if he was sure he wouldn’t want anything else, Boris had shrugged and asked for cough syrup in case that one of them would get sick and they couldn’t go outside, he found it adorable that he cared but also sad that he saw cough syrup as a luxury.

When they go inside of the supermarket, Sirius remembers one of his favorite things about this supermarket, it had a wine section basically right next to the entrance, he almost grabs one of the wine bottles on habit before the words of Mrs.Winkles come back to him.

He debates buying it for a couple of seconds until Remus passes him with his cart, he had already picked up a bag of chocolate cookies that were on sale, he doesn’t really say anything, they just make eye contact and he looks back at the wine for a second.

“You can always put protective spells around it” Remus says with a shrug, that only reminded him that he hadn’t put the protective spells around the flat like he said he would “I mean it’s not like Boris is going to drink it, I think you are safe for a couple of years”.

Sirius is not sure what type of face he just made but something just gave it away because Remus straightens his back, looking uneasy but nodding in understanding like he could see the problem now as if saying _ah I see your predicament._

“Alright” Remus says while taking the wine that Sirius was about to pick up “I can keep it and when you want it, you can call me or come over and I will give it to you or drink it with you or whatever, depending what mood you are in”.

“You would?” Sirius said surprised. 

“Sure” he says like it’s not a big deal, looking at the bottle, seeing the price and making a face, he put it down at Sirius’s cart “As long as you are the one paying for it”.

He snorts before pushing his own cart forward, starting to pick up eggs, milk and bread, James is walking towards him bringing him a bag of rice since he had just been in that section when he hears a familiar voice ask “Mr.Black?”

At first he doesn’t recognize the voice before he turns around to see Mr.Kremer standing at the other side of the aisle.

He looks different from the last time he saw him on his office, even if he can still see the bags under his eyes and his hair is still messy, now he looks more comfortable and less stressed, instead of wearing the grey suit he remembers, he has a thick blue sweater and a long brown coat, he is standing next to a man who looks like he is around his late sixties just like him, he is holding a couple of bags of candy and sodas on his cart. 

Sirius waves at him surprised to see him here, even if he shouldn’t be, anyone can go grocery shopping, Mr.Kremer says something to his friend as he puts down the black jacks that he had in his arm and walks towards Sirius, in a moment of slight panic, he ends up taking three bags of bread from the shelf to hide the wine, feeling like if Mr.Kremer would see it, he would call Mrs.Winkles right away if he saw it, James gives him a look as if asking _Who is that?_

Mr. Kremer is close so instead he turns to shake his hand and says “Mr. Kremer, it’s so nice to see you, this is my brother James, James, this is the headmaster of the orphanage that I’m adopting Boris from”.

James smiles, subtly putting an extra bag of bread putting it on top of the wine completely covering it “It’s nice to meet you”.

“Nice to meet you too,” Mr. Kremer says, shaking his hand and pursing his lips before smiling widely and saying “Mr. Potter, right?”

Damn, the old man had good memory, Sirius had previously mentioned the Potters during the interview but he doubted he remembered.

“Yes” James says with a somewhat sad tone like he was sad he didn’t know Mr.Kremer’s name before this. 

“Ah, it’s nothing, I’m just good with names but I’m terrible with faces, if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t recognize you at first Mr.Black but then I thought,_Wait a minute I know that hair”_.

Sirius snorts, unsure if he should tell him that it was weird to see him without his desk. 

“Is Boris with you?” he asks him, at first, he thinks he is asking him as in asking if Sirius would be stupid enough to leave Boris home alone or irresponsible enough to not have found school already, but then he sees the hopeful look in his eyes and he softens because this is probably one of the few adults to ever care about Boris.

“Oh no, he is at school” he responds, he sees a little bit of disappointment in Mr.Kremer’s face briefly before it turns into a pleased smile with a nod.

“I’m glad he is back at school” he says sounding completely sincere “he always had decent grades even with his father stifling his chances–”

Mr. Kremer stops himself mid-sentence making a face that basically says _ Excuse me, I said too much,_ Sirius almost wants to say _Oh no, please continue, I hate him too_.

“Anyway that doesn’t matter, the point is that he is a good kid, I’m happy for him” he says before turning back to his friend who is standing back there waiting “I have to go, my flatmate is waiting for me, it’s our–HIS niece and we are buying things that her father forgot to buy, it’s a whole thing”. 

“I hope everything goes well with your niece” James says genuinely, Mr. Kremer only smiles back nervously.

“His niece” he corrects him politely pointing back at the guy.

“Still” James insists sounding reassuring.

“It was nice to see you” Sirius tells him “I’ll tell Boris you said hi, I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear from you”.

“Oh that’s nice of you to say” Mr. Kremer says beaming before turning around to look at his flatmate who was showing him a watch, “I must go, I hope you two have a nice day and that everything continues to go well with your and Boris”.

“Thank you” Sirius says, smiling back at Mr. Kremer who quickly walks away towards his roommate who was pointing at his watch. He can’t hear what they are saying but soon enough they are bickering and a second later they are laughing.

“Aw” James says as they continue to walk “You know I really hope Lily and I will be like that one day”.

He scrunches up his nose in confusion. “I’m pretty sure you are already like that”.

“I meant that I want us to grow old together like that” he says with a wistful tone of voice.

“And you will” he says looking down at the list that he brought “Now, help me to find the cereals, the doctor gave me three options but I think I’m going to buy all three of them and hope for the best”.

-.-.-.-

After they finish Sirius convinces them to go for a cup of coffee at the restaurant that Lucille works at, she had mentioned that she wanted to meet some new people and this is the least he can do after how much she had helped him.

Of course she had already met Nick’s friends but he thinks that she would still like to get to know them, after all she had said that she would like to when he had mentioned them a couple of times and he has told the group about Lucille, they know that she was the one looking after Boris while he was with them at the meeting.

He is happy that she has already finished her shift when he arrives, she is already putting her jacket on and picking up her bag, when she sees him, she smiles surprised as she stands up to greet him.

“What a pleasant surprise” she says pulling him into a hug. 

“Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I could drop by” Sirius tells her, returning the hug before she pulls away “I brought some friends, I hope that’s okay”.

“As long as you didn’t bring them to eat here” she whispers to him before turning to James, Lily, Remus and Peter “It’s so nice to meet you, my name is Lucille”.

The first one to introduce himself is James who shakes her hand politely “It’s nice to meet you, Lucille, I’m James” he puts his arm around Lily and says, “This is my wife Lily”.

“Hi, so nice to meet you,” Lily says, shaking her hand as well.

“These two are Remus and Peter,” James says pointing at each one of them as he said their names.

Peter gives a lame wave that comes off as shy and Remus gives her a friendly smile saying “Nice to meet you”.

They end up sitting at a table in the back and ordering only deserts, after Lucille whispers how bad the food is and Sirius backs her up there, he thinks about suggesting to go to a different place but they are already ordering their ice cream and cake by that point the waitress is already there and they are already ordering so he thinks that they should just stay. 

He also makes a mental note to bring a piece of chocolate cake for Boris. 

“Are you sure that the cheese hamburger is really that bad?” Peter asks after a bit.

“You’ll get sick and it doesn’t even taste that good” she shakes her head disapprovingly “I swear only rats would eat that burger”.

“Oh my god, perfect for you” he says without thinking it through.

“It’s his nickname” James hurries to say.

“I like rats,” Peter says at the same time.

“It’s his nickname because he likes rats,” Remus says, sounding a little panicked.

Lily furrows her eyebrows and makes a face while looking at the menu before going to Lucille and saying “If the food is that bad, you should probably tell someone”.  
Lucille makes a face before shaking her head “They don’t really listen to me and I’m done making suggestions”. 

“They don’t?” Lily says, looking displeased.

“Yeah, they act like I have no idea of what I’m talking about” she says rolling her eyes “I actually used to have a restaurant with my boyfriend Nick, he used to take care of the money and I used to take care of the food, it was nothing big or fancy but it kind of became a hangout spot for college students, it was called The Treehouse because it had a tree growing in the middle of the place and it was nice, it did well but you know we never really made it to five years so who knows?”

“What happens in five years?” Remus asks curiously.

“Most business don’t make it to five years” she explains simply “but we were doing well, we were even saving up to buy the building, it was only a place with two floors and we were living in the second floor so it seemed like a good idea to buy the place but it’s a good thing we didn’t since we had to move”.

“That sucks” Lily says sadly, Sirius had a similar reaction when he had heard about what had happened, apparently having a restaurant was Lucille’s dream and it sucked to hear that she had gone from having to being a waitress.

“Oh, it’s fine, we were able to make most of the money we invested back, I’m mostly sad that I didn’t get to say goodbye to everyone, there were a few clients that I had grown fond of” she admits with a somewhat sad face “and there were others that I won’t miss much, like that one guy who asked me if I ate cats?”

“Oh fuck him” Sirius says, wishing that he was there to tell that guy to fuck off in person.

“It’s fine, he didn’t come over often and I have heard worse” she says rolling her eyes “He reminded me of those kids in school that used to say that my food was weird and would make fun of me for that”.

She says that last part looking at Sirius like that is something that he must have experienced but he has never been told anything like that, most of the kids that would bother him at Hogwarts would do it by asking if he fucked his cousins or his little brother and he doesn’t think that’s an universal experience, so unless Lucille forgot to mention that her parents are also second cousins who should have never interbred in the first place, he doesn’t think she would get that.

“It’s fine, he didn’t come over often and I have heard worse” she says rolling her eyes “He reminded me of those kids in school that used to say that my food was weird and would make fun of me for that”.

She says that last part looking at Sirius like that is something that he must have experienced but he has never been told anything like that, most of the kids that would bother him at Hogwarts would do it by asking if he fucked his cousins or his little brother and he doesn’t think that’s an universal experience, so unless Lucille forgot to mention that her parents are also second cousins who should have never interbred in the first place, he doesn’t think she would get that.

“Oh, I completely understand that” James says, thankfully saving the day from awkward silence, right as the waitress shows up with the desserts. “Back when I was at Hogwarts, my parents used to send homemade meals and I would have to eat them with cutlery so that I wouldn’t get many stares or get in trouble with teachers and I actually don’t mind getting in trouble in general but it was still infuriating and humiliating for it to happen just because I’m following my own culture”.

“And because bigots exist” Lucille nods in understanding as she starts to eat her ice cream before lifting an eyebrow, “Your parents sent meals to boarding school?”

“Yes, it was that level of protective loving parenting” James says with a fond smile on his face “but it also made things easier because that way I wouldn’t have to investigate every meal if something is vegetarian or not”.

“Yeah, even bread can be made with lard” she replies in complete understanding.

“EXACTLY!” James exclaims because he is usually the one that has to remind people and tell them that. “And then also gelatin is the worst, people usually don’t even think of that one, Lily knows what I’m talking about, she’s not vegetarian but those are both also problems for her...” James paused, then said “ and anyways, my parents also didn’t particularly like the idea of me eating food made by hou–STRANGERS”. 

If Lucille notices the slip, she doesn’t show it, instead she just nods “Oh, mine were like that too but only for my brother, I could always eat whatever and eventually got bored with that and started to make my own lunch and ended up cooking better than them so don’t worry about it”. 

She says that last part with pride but Sirius can still feel a little bit of resentment in her voice, the same way it did a few weeks ago when they were on the phone and for some reason the subject of his parents came up, he mentioned that he moved away but he doubted that those two would even care, she responded that her parents didn’t care when she moved away either but that she had seen it coming, since they weren’t even that emotional when her brother moved away and he was their favorite, her exact words were,_ My brother was always my parent’s golden boy._

He couldn’t help but think about Regulus when she said that but he hadn’t mentioned him because she had quickly changed topics, in such an abrupt way that let him know that she didn’t want to talk about it and after all he had to get Boris in school and he had a deadline, he couldn’t waste his time talking about Regulus, so he dropped it.

They start eating the desserts when she takes out a dark blue jacket and puts it on, Peter furrows his eyebrows, leaning in and asking, “Is your last name Prewett?”

Sirius manages not to choke on the fudge and decides not to kick Peter under the table since he doesn’t need to make things look weird, at first he doesn’t understand where the question comes from but then he sees that on the right side of the jacket, it has the last name on the right side, it looked handmade like someone actually took the time to sew it.

“I’m just asking because we went to... secondary school with a girl with that last name” Peter continues, sounding apologetic like he doesn’t want to intrude “Her name is Molly, I don’t know if you know her”.

“Oh it’s fine, you can ask but no, I don’t know anyone named Molly Prewett and this is actually not my last name, it’s my boyfriend’s” Lucille says sweetly, straightening the jacket “My boyfriend Nick worked at this bowling alley years ago and this was the uniform, they had this policy of only using last names, I helped him to sew it on and he technically had to return the jacket but he decided not to and then I decided to keep it”.

“Aw” Lily says leaning her head on James’s shoulder “I also steal his clothes”.

“I like to think that we share a wardrobe,” James adds. 

“No, they are mine” she says before kissing his cheek.

Sirius actually lets out an small sigh of relief when the next thing Lucille does is mention that she is also wearing Nick’s sneakers and Lily gushes that her and James are also the same shoe size, that’s technically untrue, he is pretty sure that James’s feet are bigger and Lily just likes the extra space but he is not going to argue with that because he just wants Lucille to forget the mention of Molly, he doesn’t want her to go home tonight and ask Nick if he has any cousins named Molly, he doesn’t want him to think he blabbed like an idiot.

By the point in which Lucille and Lily are talking about music and talking about visiting some thrift shops together, he thinks she must have forgotten about Molly.

When he stands up to pay the bill, he notices that Lucille is walking behind him, he is about to tell her that there is no way he is going to let her pay when says “I got you something, I was going to ask Nick to give it to you when you went to pick up Boris from school”.

“Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything” he says while she looks inside of her backpack.

She gives him a small black agenda notebook that is painted with white stars and a small moon, there is a string that is wrapped around a black pen, he realizes that she probably painted the cover herself and he doesn’t know what to say.

“You mentioned you didn’t have one and you need one, put it next to the phone” she says still looking inside of her backpack, taking out some yellow post-its “and this is for you to remember the days the social worker visits, I know, I know I sound like your mother but I swear it’s useful”.

“Oh you sound nothing like my mother, she would have never done anything so nice” Sirius says, feeling he should thank her more somehow.

She laughs at that and closes her backpack “I’m glad you liked it”.

They hear a horn coming from the street, and he knows it’s Nick just by looking at the way she smiles.

“I have to go, I promised Gyuri that I would eat with them today and that we would have Spicy Kimchi Stew and there are a couple of things I have to buy” she says putting her backpack on “I’ll talk to you later”.

“What do you need?” he asks her, looking inside of his bag, maybe he has something that she is looking for.

She snorts, waving him off dismissively like there is no way he has that “Just black pepper and brown onion–”

“How many onions?” He says while he gives the black pepper and takes out the plastic bag of onions, she looks shocked for a second, mouth slightly open.

“How does that fit in there?” she is not really asking him, she just sounds surprised “Oh, Sirius, still, I couldn’t possibly–”

“You have helped me a lot” he insists stretching his arm “This is the least I can do”.

She looks like she wants to argue but stops herself before deciding to take it and after he gives her three onions, she thanks him, gives him a gentle side hug before walking back to the group, saying goodbye and running outside as fast as she can.

By the time Sirius has finished paying, the car already drove away, he goes back to the table, the rest of the group is already picking up their things, Peter is the first one to stand up and he stands next to Sirius for a couple of seconds in silence, he asks him with a lot of interest “Hey so about Lucille’s boyfriend, What’s the situation there?”

“Peter, you just heard her, it’s a very serious relationship, keep it in your pants”.

“I’m not–I wasn’t asking that” he says looking flustered, cheeks slightly flushed when the rest of the group chuckled, but he looks back at Sirius, eyes dark with intent as he asks “I was asking if he is like us?”

He knows what he is asking but all he can think about is how he doesn’t like how he asked that question because all he can think about is how Nick had said _I’m not like them, I’m not like you, I don’t belong here, I never have._

Sirius has to take a second to remind himself that Peter didn’t mean it like that and he is glad when James talks first, giving him a few seconds to cool off.

“He could just have the same last name as Molly” James says as he puts his jacket back on “I don’t think I ever heard of a Nicholas Prewett”.

An outraged scoff escapes Sirius and Peter turns back to look at him as they make their way out of the restaurant.

“Wait–is he disowned because he is with a muggle girl?” Peter asks him, his tone was certain that he had already understood.

“Don’t be noisy, Peter” Lily says nudging him “Besides I doubt that they would do something like that, they are not that type of family, they are–”

“They are not fucking saints, Lily, they might not have disowned him for being with a muggle but they don’t have any trouble with acting like Nick doesn’t exist because he is a squib” he tells her sharply.

He looks at their faces, Remus’s expression is blank, Lily still looks horrified, James has this look of incredulity in his face and Peter is covering his mouth and his eyes are wide in what Sirius assumes is shock.

“Wait– THEY DID WHAT!?!” Lily exclaims, crossing her arms with an angry look on her face.

“We are not talking about this anymore” he says because this is Nick’s private life and he said too much already “All you need to know is that Lucille doesn’t know about magic so don’t mention anything about it in front of her and Nick doesn’t want anyone of his family to know he is in London so don’t mention this to anyone, that’s the last thing he needs, understood?”

They all nod solemnly, making expressions like it was obvious, except for Peter who looked lost in thought for a second before shaking his head and saying “Sorry, I won’t say anything, I was just in shock, I’ll never thought–”

“Yeah, me neither” Sirius admits putting his arm on Peter’s shoulder “I was surprised too but then I remembered that families do things like this all the time and they are just usually not exactly public about it, so then it didn’t seem so shocking after all”.

“That’s true” Remus admits, the corners of his lips pulled downward into a frown “My father knew this couple that had a son who was a squib and the couple just gave him up for adoption _to a couple that would fit his needs better”_.

Remus says that last part with disdain in his voice and it’s the only part about hearing that story that doesn’t make him angry. 

“A couple that would fit his needs better? Now that’s a load of bullshit, they are just lying, they should just admit that they didn’t want to take care of that kid” He says matter of factly, he knows that’s exactly what happened, they just didn’t care about that kid, not how he cares about Boris “Besides just because a child doesn’t have magic that doesn’t mean that a wizard can’t fit their needs”.

James puts his hand on his shoulder like he can see that he is upset and he is trying to silently comfort him.

“Exactly, the worst part is that they tried to come back for the kid, but he had been adopted by that point” Remus says, disdain still in his tone but Sirius can tell that he also sounds relieved at the end.

“That’s good” Lily agrees with a similar tone of relief but a little bit of a concerned frown on her face.

“Are you worried about that?” Peter asks, with an uneasy tone of voice.

It takes a second for him to realize that he is asking Sirius who was focused on Lily, he just turns to look at him, “What?” 

Peter swallows, gulping in a deep breath before speaking “That Boris’s dad might come back?”

“No, I’m not” he hisses, ignoring the panic starting to hit him in the chest. “He is in prison, he can’t come back and if he did, if he somehow escaped, I would kill him, I’ll kill anyone that even lays a hand on Boris–”

He feels James squeezing his shoulder and Sirius doesn’t turn to look at him, but he can hear him whisper “It’s just Peter”.

It takes a second for him to realize that Peter had just taken a step back and looked terrified, like Sirius was about to kill him.

The thought makes him want to laugh, like he would ever do something like that to Peter. 

“Oh, we forgot to tell you guys” James says clearly trying to change the subject and defuse the tension “Lily is going to teach Boris how to ride a bike”.

“Yes, actually I’m going to fix my old bike for him” Lily announces, taking Sirius by surprise.

“Really?” he asks with a surprised smile, she hadn’t mentioned it before.

“Yeah” she says smiling back at him “I told my dad about it and he told me that he still had my old bike and we could fix it together for him”.

“That’s really sweet, thank you” he tells her.

“It is really sweet, Lily” Remus says.

“Oh, it’s nothing” she shrugs “besides he is going to teach me how to roller skate, so I’ll say we are even”.

Peter laughs at that like she is joking and Remus laughs as well but it comes out more shocked, Lily mildly offended says “I’m being completely serious, I was actually going to ask him if he would be free this Saturday”.

“Oh no, the poor kid, you are going to fall on him, I just know it” Remus says as Lily smacks him in the shoulder “Just like you did with your poor neighbor.”

“I never fell on him” Lily defends herself laughingly even if she did sound a little defeated “He moved, and I fell against the bush…for the fourth time…that day”.

Lily sounds defeated but Peter snorts in that moment, Lily gives her bag to James and Sirius moves a side to give Lily space so that she can smack Peter as well.

“Honestly, you two are being mean, you know the poor girl was trying to connect with her sister” Sirius says, even if he had never understood why Lily would even have any interest in trying to talk to Petunia. 

“We are being mean?” Peter exclaims with a half laugh “Remember when James tried to teach her and she basically hit herself against a three? You were the one taking pictures of the whole thing”.

“Excuse me for trying to take pictures of their first date and trying to make memories” he argues but Lily smacks him as well.

“That was not our first date” Lily argues.

“It wasn’t?” James says sounding a little hurt, Lily gives him a soft slap on his shoulder and still pulls him into a hug and kisses him in his cheek and he smiles again  
before he looks into his watch “Oh shoot, we should really get going, we promised your parents we’ll be there before one”.

They say goodbye and after Sirius sees them walk towards an alley so that they can apparate without anyone seeing them, he checks his watch, he realizes that he still has an hour to kill before going to pick up Boris.

He is about to say that when he turns around and sees Remus looking inside of his own bag and takes out three books, they are a little dusty but in good condition, they are _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Fantastic Mr.Fox and James and the Giant Peach._

“For Boris” he says like it’s not a big deal.

Sirius knows that it is because even if Remus is not careful with his books, with how he folds the pages, and how he accidentally gets bits of food there, and then he just cleans it with his thumb, he still really loves his books, it’s very hard for him to even lend them so for him to give his books to Boris as a gift...

It is a big deal.

But before Sirius even opens his mouth, Remus says “Don’t even mention it, just go to those knitting lessons that you were talking about”.

Sirius laughs at that and realizes that Peter looks confused, he thinks of explaining the whole thing but instead he shrugs and says “It’s an inside joke”. 

He feels strangely proud of that, it has been a while since Remus and him had inside jokes. 

“Hey, you should give it to him yourself” he says, giving the books back, Remus looks hurt for a second before Sirius clarifies “No, I meant would you like to? I’m picking him up in an hour, you can come with me, what do you say?”

Remus looks at him hesitantly, Sirius understands why, they don’t really hang out by themselves a lot, he is about to tell Peter that he can join them as well but then  
Remus says “I mean I don’t have anything important today so sure, besides I want to tell him that I watched Teen Wolf”.

“You did?”

“Yeah, it was funny enough, but I don’t think I could fully appreciate it because I kept thinking _Oh my god, this is so inappropriate for a child his age”_ Remus explains with slight panic, in any other situation, Sirius thinks that he would have also said _How could his parents let him see this?_

All Sirius can really think about is that’s probably one of the least horrible things that man did.

“Peter, you can come too if you want” Sirius asks him, Peter shifts awkwardly looking at his feet.

“I don’t know, I feel awkward around kids” he says making a face that Sirius can’t really understand, it’s like a mix between discomfort and he could even see a little bit of shame and he can’t understand why.

He assumes it was because he hadn’t been able to connect with Boris as well as the rest of them, so Sirius tries to reassure him by putting his hand on his shoulder  
“Hey, he really likes you, i’m sure he would be happy to see you”.

“I don’t want to bother you guys, besides we won’t fit in the motorcycle”.

“Of course, we would, have you forgotten about that one time the four of us got on the motorcycle” Remus reminds him.

“No, I haven’t, I’m sure the police officer that saw us hasn’t either” Peter says, Sirius can’t help to snicker “It’s not everyday that you see a dog driving a motorcycle”.

“I don’t know what you are complaining about, you were all able to turn into animals, I had to actually run” Remus shakes his head disapprovingly but he is smiling so Sirius doesn’t think that he is actually mad about what happened.

“I frankly had a good time, we had a fun ride, I bit a cop” Sirius laughs as he remembers that night “Honestly Peter, I was a little disappointed in you that night, you should have tried biting the cops as well but instead you ran and we couldn’t even find you afterwards, we almost took a sewer rat home thinking it was you”.

Peter snorts before shaking his head “Yeah, sorry about that but still, I don’t want to get in the way, I didn’t sleep very well last night and I want to go home to take a nap”.

Sirius decides to let it go then, he is not going to beg and if Peter wants to go then he should go, he gives him a pat in the back and Remus gives him a hug, they see him walk towards the same alley that James and Lily ran to a few moments ago. 

-.-.-.-

When they arrive at Boris’s school, Sirius feels proud of himself for arriving early, he hasn’t been late before per say but usually by the time he arrives, parents are already crowded around the entry but right now there are only a couple of people there, Remus and him go to stand next to an older man with light brown skin and his great dane.

The dog starts sniffing him and his bag, the man tries to pull him back and with an apologetic tone in his voice he says “I’m sorry, I promise he doesn’t bite”.

“Oh no, it’s okay, I’m a dog person” he says amused, he turns to look at Remus to see if he got the joke, he nods in response but doesn’t laugh. 

He is unsurprised, Remus doesn’t usually laugh at puns but whatever, it’s his loss. 

Sirius starts to pet the dog on his head and behind his ears “What’s his name?”

“Oh Rupert” he responds “We found him at a pound and he was the oldest one there so my daughter Astrid decided to give him an old man name to go with his age”.  
Sirius can’t really argue with that logic. 

Suddenly the name rings a bell, he looks up at him and says “Oh you are Astrid’s father”.

“Yes?” he says with surprise in his voice as Rupert passes from Sirius to Remus.

“I’m Sirius Black, Boris’s father, he is friends with your daughter” he told him, shaking his hand, now the man had gone from surprised to stunned. 

“I’m sorry” he repeats again, shaking his head like he is trying to recuperate himself from the shock “You look really young, I thought you were here to pick up your girlfriend or something like that”.

Sirius guffaws; it comes out louder than he wanted it to be, he shakes his head and says “No, just here to pick up my son”.

“That’s great” he says in a reassuring tone like he wants to make sure that he is not trying to judge him “My name is Fernando Castillo, it’s nice to meet you”.

“Oh, and this is my friend Remus” he says pointing at Remus who now is crouching down, now gently rubbing the dog’s tummy and apparently having a full conversation with Rupert about how cute he is.

“Nice to meet you,” Remus says, shaking his hand before going back to the dog who whined as soon as he stopped petting him “your dog is adorable”.

“He is spoiled” Fernando tells them, it sounds like he is complaining but he has a fond smile on his face, he turns back to Sirius “My daughter says a lot of nice things about your son”.

“Oh, thank you” he responds, beaming proudly “he talks about your daughter as well, all good things”.

He gives an appreciable nod with a similar expression in his face “She was asking me the other day if he could come over to play the next week, of course, if that’s okay with you, I would obviously be there to supervise and you could obviously stay if you want”.

“Sure, that sounds nice” Sirius says, even if he can already imagine an afternoon with some awkward silences, he doesn’t mind, all he cares about is that Boris is happy. 

Sirius looks around as he sees more parents arrive, some came in groups already talking to each other, he tries to find Nick’s car and he is unsure if he wants to see Nick or not, part of him wants to warn him and another part of him knows that he’ll be mad if he finds out that he told everything to his friends, obviously he doesn’t have to tell him that last part but something tells him that somehow it’s going to come up. 

When he finally sees the car, the bell rings meaning that the kids would be coming out soon, he looks for Boris, it always takes a second for Sirius to find him but he can see him making his way through the crowd, he smiles at him but then he sees his face lights up as he squeals “Uncle Remus”.

Boris runs towards them, Rupert moves out of the way from where he had been playing with Remus to give space for Boris, he throws his arms around him and pulling him into a hug so tight, that he can see Remus let out a muffled ‘oh’ but he put his arms around him immediately even if he is losing balance for a moment, Sirius put his hand on his back to help stabilize him and just like that it was good. 

He notices that Boris is taking his hand like he is trying to make him feel included and he can’t help to find it adorable. 

Rupert starts barking and jumping, Sirius realizes why when he sees Astrid running out of school, she basically jumps on the dog and hugs him and kisses the top of his head, that’s when Boris lets go of Remus who is finally able to completely stand up.

Gyuri walks behind the two of them and takes a second to pet Rupert, Boris takes the change to introduce him to Remus and introduce the two of them to Astrid, she smiles as she fixes her braided half-updo with one hand and pets Rupert with the other one.

“I have to go, Nick is waiting in the car” Gyuri tells them before running towards the red car “Bye Mr.Black, Bye Mr.Castillo, bye Mr.Remus”.

Remus opens his mouth but quickly closes it because Gyuri runs really fast and Sirius can see him jokingly pretend that he is going to get on the front seat before quickly going in the back so that they can drive away. 

“We should get going as well” Fernando says, taking Astrid’s hand “I promised your mother that I would make arroz con pollo”. 

Sirius might not know a lot of Spanish, but he knows enough to know that’s one of Remus’s favorite dishes, he is not surprised when he hears Remus say “Oh damn”.

“Oh, do you like it?” he asks him with interest, his face lighting up slightly “I’m from Peru, my mother taught me how to make it, are you?”

“No, my mother is from Venezuela, she taught me as well” Remus explains with a smile on his face “I do think our recipes are a little different”.

“Yeah, a little but I tried it Venezuelan style, they are both good” Fernando replies diplomatically, taking his daughter’s hand and checking his watch, he had never seen a man that wanted to say shit so bad but was so willing to keep it in “I have to go but it was nice to meet both of you, I hope I see you soon”.

“Bye Boris” Astrid says waving at him while managing to keep a hold on the leash to keep Rupert close to her, her dad was clearly trying to take it from her worried that she would be knocked over but she doesn’t let go of the leash. 

“Bye Astrid,” Boris says, waving back at her before taking Sirius’s hand. 

As they walk away from the crowd, Boris gently smacks Remus in his arm and asks him “What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you but still”.

“I came because I wanted to see you” Remus responds, making Boris frown slightly like he was wondering if he had done something wrong to make Remus come to deliver bad news.

“He actually came here to get you something” Sirius adds to make that suspicious look disappear from Boris’s face and it works, his smile comes back, even if a little shy, while he tried to take a peek of what he is looking for inside of his bag.

Remus pulls out the books one by one, Boris checks the front and the back of _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,_ that’s definitely the one that it’s in the best state out of all of them, even if Sirius could see how dog eared the book is when Boris flips the pages.

“This one is _Fantastic Mr.Fox,_I think that you are going to like it” he says as Boris takes the book, the paperback spine is a little cracked but he doesn’t mind “It has a protagonist who is a thief, it’s kind of like Robin Hood”.

“I do like it” Boris says nodding eagerly.

“This is the last one” Remus says

“I actually read parts of this one, never finished it” Boris says holding that last one _James and the Giant Peach,_ he doesn’t flip the pages or looks at the details of the cover, it’s like he just stops and blinks, a bittersweet expression forming on his face “Thank you”. 

“I’m happy you liked them” Remus says, while Boris starts to carefully put the books inside his backpack, he sees a look of familiarity as he reads the first pages and a small smile forms in his face “Oh and by the way, I had a chance to check out Teen Wolf”.

“You did?” Boris asks, sounding surprised like he didn’t expect Remus to watch it at all, then in a more hopeful tone “Did you like it?”

“Of course, I did” Remus says enthusiastically, completely ignoring how he thought that it was inappropriate for a kid of his age.

“What did you think of the werewolf in it?” Boris asks cheerfully, pulling his sleeve “He totally looks like Chewbacca, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he kind of does” he responds laughingly. 

“I always thought that my mom would have liked it, she loved a _Werewolf of London,_ I used to watch it with her all the time” Boris says smiling fondly.  
“I’m sure she would have” Sirius tells Boris because he knows that’s probably what he needs to hear: that he knew his mother well enough to say that she would love a movie that she had never seen.

Sirius knows he should be alarmed that he was watching that movie at such a young age but he is not, he is actually relieved, he knows that Boris doesn’t have a lot of memories of his mom and he is happy that he has this one because even if Boris said that she was always sulky, maybe there were some fleeting moments when she would hold Boris while they watched a movie and felt happy, the same way Sirius does now when he gets to hold him when they watch TV. 

Sure, he might not know a lot about Boris’s mom, all he really knows about her is that she liked alcohol and apparently _The Communist Manifesto,_ that she taught him Polish and his dad didn’t let him use it after she died, Sirius is pretty sure that it was a cruel attempt to erase her from Boris’s memory but it hadn’t worked, he still clearly remembers her and loves her.

He doesn’t think she was a doting mother like Euphemia but she wasn’t like Walburga, he thinks–

No, he knows that she loved Boris back. 

Boris smiles back at him warmly before glancing back at Remus and tells him “I know what you are going to say that it’s a little too adult for me and she shouldn’t have let me watch it or whatever but in her defense, she was an alkie so cut her some slack and she has been dead for donkey’s years and you can’t speak sick of the death”.

“Speak ill of the dead” Remus corrects him simply.

“Ah, really?” Boris says tilting his head with a slight frown, but he quickly shrugs and continues happily chatting.

He tells them what he did that day at school, how they had a history lesson today and that sucked but the teacher Mr.Sparks is nice so he doesn’t mind it as much, that he actually likes all his teachers which he finds odd because he usually doesn’t and that he had a math test so he is getting his grade back tomorrow, he thinks he did well.

“That’s great, buddy” Sirius says genuinely, ruffling Boris’s hair and then pulling him into a side hug.

“It really is” Remus tells Boris, putting his hand on his shoulder briefly for a reassuring squeeze.

“I haven’t even gotten the grade back yet” Boris says like it’s not important.

“I’m still sure you did great,” Sirius reassures him, Boris grins before looking away and shrugging like he is trying to dismiss what he had just said.

“Eh, it’s not that impressive, this is probably boring for you two”.

“What? No!” Sirius says immediately, wondering what might have made him think of that.

“What? Why?” Remus asks at the same time, his expression concerned.

Boris shrugs again but this time more confused “I just meant that since you two went to magic school, this is probably boring by comparison”.

“It’s not, Hogwarts could get boring just like any other school” Sirius says, remembering all the times that he would fall asleep during class.

“Even worse because you can’t leave at the end of the day” Remus adds, making a sad face “I used to miss my parents A LOT, especially during first year”.

“My favorite part was actually not seeing my parents” Sirius says knowing that is going to make Boris laugh.

“I would miss you” Boris says instead, looking up at him with a soft expression on his face.

“I would miss you too” Sirius tells him before picking him up because he both wants to pull him into a hug and kiss the top of his head but also since they are not too far away from the motorcycle, he wants to help him to get into the sidecar.

When he settles him there and starts to take out the helmet from his bag, Remus starts to wave goodbye, the corners of Boris’s lips pulled into a frown before asking  
“Oh, you are not coming with us?”

Remus turns to look at Sirius almost as if he is asking him _Am I? _ and usually Sirius would have no problem with one of his friends tagging along, not even Remus but today he has to take Boris to his therapy session and as much as he dislikes the idea, they _have_ to go.

“I don’t think he can come today, Boris” he says feeling bad that he has to disappoint Boris “we have to go to the therapy thing”.

“I know” Boris responds like that was obvious “I thought you might have wanted the company since you are going to be waiting outside and I’m probably going to be there for a while”.

Sirius thinks that might be the worst part of everything with therapy, that he has to wait outside, even if the other doctors did talk to him in a condescending way, at least he was able to talk to them and knew exactly what was happening but now he has to stay out and it makes him feel jittery, stupid and worst of all useless, plus the idea of being completely alone there, sounds maddening as well, even if there are magazines or books there, he is going to become incredibly bored, more and more by the second.

Maybe Boris is right, the company would be good but the idea of being in a waiting room probably alone with Remus sounds excruciating as well, he can already feel the awkward silences when they have nothing to say to each other.

He doesn’t know which choice is worse, so he is going to let Remus decide for him.

Remus looks down at Boris with this tight lipped smile before nodding and looking up at Sirius almost apologetically like he doesn’t think that it is a good idea for him to go but he didn’t know how to say no either and if Sirius is being completely honest he doesn’t know how to do it either but he thinks that Boris has heard _no_ so many times in his life that a few _yeses_ won’t hurt him.

.-.-.-.

The waiting room is a mottled gray color, there is a red couch in front of a table with some magazines on top, it’s right next to the secretary’s desk, it’s not the only place to sit, there are multiple chairs that are glued to the wall, there are two different caddys, one with more magazines and other with children’s books, next to a small table with tiny chairs clearly for the children to sit and play.

The secretary smiles at them politely before looking down at a book on her table, she writes something before talking on the telephone and just like that a door at the end of the hall opens, a large black older man walks out of the room, he must be in his late fifties and has a fully bearded face. 

“It’s very nice to see you again, Boris” he says with a gentle tone of voice looking down at him, Boris waves b at him before looking back up at Sirius “It’s also very nice to meet you, Mr. Black, I’m Dr.Green”.

“Nice to meet you too” Sirius responding his handshake, it’s firm but it’s bordering on stiff, then he lets go of his hand, he feels some type of tenseness and remembers that Remus is right there, he doubts that he can defuse the tension but maybe he can lessen it “This is my friend Remus, he is here for…”

“Moral Support?” Remus completes for him; it sounds like he is guessing but since it sounds better than saying _ ,He is here so that I won’t get bored and then insane,_ so he takes it and just nods.

“That’s great” Dr.Green says with a pleased smile on his face as he turns to look at Sirius “I was hoping that you could stay after Boris’s session so that we could talk for a little bit, hopefully Remus can look after Boris”.

Sirius’s knee jerk response is _ Talk? Talk about what?_ Somehow, he manages not to say it but maybe some of it shows on his face because the Doctor says “It would only take twenty to thirty minutes, maybe less–”

“Yeah, I can stay” he says because he doesn’t want him to think that he is not willing to do whatever he can to be able to officially adopt Boris but then he remembers Remus, he turns to look at him, Remus nods back, Sirius lets out a small sigh of relief.

“Great, that’s perfect” the doctor says clasping his hands together “Now we should start with the session, we’ll be back in an hour, there is a cafeteria–”  
“We’ll wait here” Sirius tells him, his tone certain.

“Alright” Dr.Green nods before doing a gesture for Boris to follow him.

Boris nods but before he goes, he gives Sirius a quick hug and he hears him whisper that he’ll be right back, he sees him walk to the end of the hall, the doctor walks inside of the room first and then Boris follows, then the door closes.

He turns to look at Remus who just sits down in one of the many chairs, Sirius sits next to him and everything is silent except for the ticking of the clock and the secretary writing something down, he starts shaking his leg, feeling anxious already, he realizes that it would be hard to eavesdrop here, since the secretary is standing on the way and the door is at the end of the hall, there would be no way for him for him to go there without her noticing.

“Crossword?” Remus says out of the blue, he turns to look at him and sees him passing him a part of a newspaper and a pencil.

“Thanks” he says absentmindedly taking it, he turns to look at Remus at that point and see him trying to put his newspaper back in order and he can see Pavlikovsky written in big letters in one of the pages.

“Read it already?” Sirius asks because he is not sure if he wants to skim a whole story about him, unless if it’s some sort of news that says that he escaped from prison or that he is going to be let go for some fucked up reason.

“Read that part already” Remus says pushing it away, it’s basically a gesture of _trust me, you don’t want to see it._

“Anything interesting?” he asks, hoping that Remus understands that he means _ Does it mention Boris at all?_

“They just found out he had a property in Ukraine where they found the body of a woman but she hasn’t been identified yet, that’s all” the sickened expression on Remus’s face tells Sirius that he doesn’t want to know how that woman died. 

He tries not to think about it but Sirius remembers Boris mentioning that he was in Ukraine at one point, he wonders if that had happened when they were there, maybe Boris hadn’t noticed since he had mentioned that he was homeless at the time. 

Sirius doesn’t know what is worse, the idea of Boris living on the streets or him living in the same house where a corpse was, maybe he had even seen the corpse or seen the murder happen, the thought itself fills him with vindictive anger, he tries to remind himself that what’s important is that he is no longer here, he can’t ever hurt Boris again. 

He starts the crossword until he sees the date of the newspaper and asks Remus “Is that why you called last night?”

“What?” Remus asks, Sirius is not sure if he is doing it because he didn’t hear him right or he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

“I mean, did you call to tell me about what you saw in the newspaper?”

“No, to be honest I didn’t think you would need to warn you, after all you never buy newspapers and it’s not front page news so I didn’t think Boris would see it at all if he was just walking down the streets so I didn’t think it would be necessary to bring it up at all”.

Sirius nods quietly before asking “So why did you call?”

“I was calling to see if Boris would want the books but then you didn’t answer and then I freaked out because I couldn’t find one of them so I decided to just tell you tomorrow, besides I thought you two were probably asleep already since it’s a school night and all, he should have probably went to bed at nine thirty”. 

Sirius nods again, feeling a little bit annoyed that apparently Remus knew about the 10 to 11 hours of sleep thing and he didn’t, he turns to look at the secretary to see if she is paying attention to their conversation, after all she could report it back to her boss but she looks way too invested in making a series of phone calls. 

“Yeah, we usually go to bed around that time” he says, it’s not technically a lie because they have been going to bed at ten o’clock most days and that’s close to nine thirty.

“It’s so weird to hear you say that” Remus responds laughingly. 

“Why is that?” he asks, feeling slightly defensive because he is more than able to set up a bedtime for his kid.

“Because I don’t think you have ever gone to bed at nine thirty, even when we were kids” Remus explains, Sirius can’t really argue there either, even when he was a kid and his parents would tell him to go to sleep, he would still stay up out of pure spite “remember how you and James would always stay up past curfew?”

“Oh don’t act like you weren’t there with us”.

“What choice did I have? You two were so loud and would always wake me up–”

“That’s not true, we weren’t loud, you are just a light sleeper, we never woke up Peter–”

“Oh that means nothing, an earthquake wouldn’t wake up Peter” he reminds him, Sirius can’t really argue with that, he is pretty sure that Peter could sleep through anything “and I’m not a light sleeper, I’m a normal sleeper, again you are just loud”.

“No, I’m not” he argued, turning to check if the secretary was still on the telephone, she was.

“Yes, you are, you even talk in your sleep”.

“That’s impossible, James would have told me” he says, even if he does remember Narcissa mentioning it once.

“No, he wouldn’t, one time I had a nightmare and I asked him if I could stay with him” Remus says with his head bowed ashamed “I kicked him off the bed and he never told me”.

“Oh, I wouldn’t have let you live it down” Sirius says laughingly, even as he remembers the times he kicked Narcissa off the bed, he was 6 or 7 then, they got into a  
fight every time, eventually the adults got fed up and made them sleep separately.

“I’m well aware,” Remus says knowingly, Sirius feels like he is saying _That’s exactly why I wouldn’t go to you._

“I still don’t believe that I talk in my sleep” he says because he doesn’t want to go there, right now or ever.

“Well, you do and sometimes you don’t even do it in English” Remus insists with a funny look on his face “In sixth year during the NEWTS, I swear I could hear you mumbling the answers in different languages”.

“No way, really?” he says, still with disbelief.

“Yeah, it was impressive because you were usually saying the right answers but I could only understand the ones in Italian so who knows?” he shrugs and then he snorts “Remember when Frank asked you how did you keep up with studying for NEWTS and multiple languages on the side and your responded with _ I am a generator powered by PURE SPITE?"_

He says that part lowering his voice like he is trying to imitate Sirius, his only response is to nudge him. 

“Why would I need sleep? Why would I need coffee? All I need is spite?” Remus continues, this time Sirius does take his newspaper from him and smacks him with it. 

“I don’t talk like that”.

“I think my impression was spot on, it was just missing the hair flip” he says teasingly Sirius turns to look at the secretary, thankfully she is not looking at them instead going through some binders, he turns back to smack him again until Remus stops him with his hand and Sirius lets him take back the newspaper.

They stay quiet for a couple of seconds, Remus actually stands up to go to the vending machine, Sirius manages to get two words out of the crossword by the time Remus comes back with two bars of chocolate. 

That’s when Sirius remembers something that he has been thinking about lately, “Hey, speaking of other languages, I’m going to learn to speak Polish”.

“You are? Why?” Remus asks, clearly surprised. 

At first Sirius doesn’t understand why he is so surprised, Remus knows that he had studied different languages while they were at Hogwarts, it wouldn’t be something strange for him to do, sure there had been a moment when he had thought about stopping because he had only learned because Orion and Walburga wanted him to and he didn’t want anything to do with them anymore. 

It took a couple months for him to realize how stupid it is to throw away an objectively useful skill, and also that by continuing his studies on his own without needing their help and making sure that he would reach a college level grasp on his OWN, was the perfect way to give them a giant _Fuck you._

He had also realized he could use it in a way that he knew his parents would hate: by talking to foreign muggles and reading muggle books in other languages. Remus and Lily had even taken him to muggle bookstores where he could find books in foreign languages, he actually got one of his favorite books there, _The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka,_ in the original German, he didn’t expect to like it as much as he did, but he had, after all who doesn’t like a story where the protagonist gets rejected by his family and treated like a freak, Sirius had found it was relatable. 

The day he bought it, he remembers Remus saying that he was happy that Sirius was buying muggle books in other languages even if it was just to spite his parents.

That’s when he realizes why Remus was surprised, his biggest motivation that kept him going for this extracurricular studying for sixth year and seventh year is technically gone, he already reached the level that he wanted and though he still uses his other languages recreationally, he hadn’t really had any interest in learning a new one since then.

Until now of course.

“I’m going to learn for Boris, his mom spoke Polish so he learnt it from her, but after she died his father wouldn’t allow him to speak it, I thought Boris would like it if he had someone else to speak Polish with again”.

“Oh” Remus says, his tone of voice sounds deflated.

Sirius lifts an eyebrow, he doesn’t understand why Remus would have anything against it “Don’t get so excited about it–”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, I think it’s a great idea” he hurries to explain “I just–I only talk Spanish with my mom and the idea of just not being able to do it, it just made me really sad and that Boris had to through something like that at such a young age, it’s just…”

“Sad? Heartbreaking? Depressing?” Sirius offers, even if that isn’t exactly how he would describe his reaction when Boris had told him what had happened, of course he had been sad and angry because it was just so wrong but the main thing in his mind was that he had to make it right and the only way he felt like he could do that was by learning Polish. 

“Yeah, that” Remus nods “but I do think that how you want to learn for him… it’s really sweet and touching, I know I would appreciate it if I was in his shoes”.

“Oh” he says at first because he is still getting used to having all these serious conversations with Remus “thank you”.

“You are welcome” he responds pointedly “He had mentioned before that he could speak polish but he never mentioned any of that”.

“You know his mom only taught him Polish and he learned all of the other four languages on his own, impressive, huh?” He tells him, feeling proud of Boris, Sirius had always resented that he “owed” his start with languages to his parents but Boris had learnt all on his OWN,he doesn’t owe it to anyone, specifically not to that piece of shit that isn’t worthy of the title of father. 

“Oh wow, that’s amazing” Remus says, readjusting in his chair “You know the day we went to Diagon Alley, when you were changing, he told me that he knew a little bit of Spanish”.

“He does?” he asks surprised.

“Yeah, I mean it’s mostly like really basic things and bad words but still you know” he says, shrugging and making a,_well, it’s something,_ Sirius laughs at that because of course Boris would.

Then Remus’s eyes widen and he snaps his fingers “Hey, I just remembered, did he like the bed?”

“Yes, he did” he nods, he is no longer remotely smiling and he is trying to focus on how Boris had smiled and puts his head on the pillows, looking completely ecstatic before pulling him into a hug, that’s the exact reaction that he was looking for when he went to pick a bed with the rest of the marauders, and even Narcissa couldn’t take that away from him “he hasn’t used it much but yeah”. 

“Oh, well, I guess that’s normal, he is used to sharing a bed with you, he would probably miss it” Remus says taking a bite off the chocolate bar he had bought.  
Sirius wanted to say that it wasn’t that, that it hadn’t been that but the secretary was right there and–

She stood up with a couple of binders in her arms looking at them with a pleasant smile that basically meant that she would be back soon, Sirius waited until she was far away enough before turning back to Remus and saying “Narcissa came to my house”.

Remus ends up accidentally choking, Sirius thumps his back as he coughs, he is about to ask him if he wants him to bring him a glass of water but he just turns to look at him and says “What? What was she even doing there, what purpose even?”

“To ruin my day” he says still with a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“Did she tell you what she wanted?” he asks, letting out another cough.

“I don’t know what she wanted, I didn’t care about what she wanted, I just wanted her to get as far away from Boris as possible” he says, feeling even more frustrated and he doesn’t understand why Remus can’t see that, before he even opens his mouth, Remus keeps coughing, Sirius starts thumping his back again before standing up “I’ll go get you some water”.

“Thanks” Remus croaked.

He goes down the hall to the vending machine to get a bottle of water, he expects Remus to take a second to recover but he doesn’t, he takes a few sips of water and clears his throat and glances back at him, he takes longer trying to find the right words.

“What–Why–Did she try to break in? Did she threaten him? What happened?” Remus says sounding outraged, Sirius thinks he is biting back a question _Why didn’t YOU say anything?_

He doesn’t know if that’s just all in his head or if it’s really there but he is just glad that he doesn’t ask it. 

“I don’t know I wasn’t there” he says, his hands trembling as frustration wells inside of him and trying to suppress his anger, he is not even angry at Remus for asking too many questions or at Narcissa for showing up, he is angry at himself because he was _supid_ and _irresponsible_ enough to leave Boris completely alone and unprotected “All I know is that whatever she did scared Boris enough for him to go running for a knife”.

“What?” he asks, sounding concerned.

“My kid was ready to go fight her with a kitchen knife” he laughs nervously, he tries to stop it but it’s uncontrollable and he has to forcibly stop it by putting his hand over his mouth as he remembers how he felt when he came home to find Narcissa standing in front of his door. 

He remembers his chest tightening and his heart sinking deeply, it was his fault that she was there, he should have never even left him alone in the first place, he should have never sent his stupid family from hell the birth announcements just because he wanted to think about Walburga going berserk because that wasn’t worth Boris being exposed to those monsters— 

“Sirius, are you crying?” Remus asks him, his voice sounding softer than he has ever heard it before, he sounds like he is trying not to spook him.

Sirius can’t help to find it annoying and when he tries to put his hand on his shoulder, he pushes it away, he doesn’t want anyone to touch him right now. 

He just wants to stop the tears; he hates being unable to contain his emotions and he feels like his anger is so strong that it’s like his skin is being pulled too tight, he still doesn’t trust himself to speak and when he does all he manages to say “It’s my fault, completely my fault–” 

“What?” Remus says, this time his voice is a little stronger “How could it even be your fault you had no way of knowing that this was going to happen?” 

“I should have known” he says, isn’t that like a thing? Parental instinct? Or something like a sixth sense that something is going wrong with your kid? 

At this point, he doesn’t know, all he knows is that he is the worst person in this world and Boris deserves better than him.

“My father always says that the worst feeling in the world is when something terrible happens to your kid and you did nothing to stop it” Remus says, his tone is low and certain.

Sirius doesn’t trust himself to speak because he knows in what exact moment of his life, Remus’s father must have felt like that, all he does is nod.  
“I assume that it is probably one of the worst feelings in this world”.

Sirius nods again, if he had to describe it, it feels like you are going to be sick and you are also having a heart attack at the same time, and he didn’t feel like anything was okay until he was able to hold Boris and realized that he was okay.

And then he saw the knife.

“You couldn’t have possibly predicted that was going to happen” Remus seems like he is about to put his hand on top of his but he withdraws it, it wouldn’t have bothered Sirius if he had done it now but he doesn’t say anything “and at the end of the day you were there, isn’t that what matters?” 

Sirius forces himself to nod because he doesn’t think that’s enough.

“Maybe I should just move”.

“Don’t do anything…risky, at least for now, just focus on finishing the adoption process if you don’t feel safe after that, then move” Remus opens and passes him a bottle of water.

He wants to say that the water won’t help him feel any better but takes it and drinks it anyway.

“I’m just saying that since you are still going through the legal process...I mean I don’t know how it works but–”

“Yeah, you are probably right” he says, he sounds more annoyed than he would like.

Sirius takes more sips of water, when Remus offers him a bar of chocolate, he takes it and eats it in silence for a few minutes before Remus asks “Are you feeling better?”

He shrugs, he is not about to start crying again but he doesn’t think that he feels any better.

“You are not a bad father, Sirius” Remus sounds so confident and self-assured that it doesn’t leave any room for argument “you’re still really annoying though”.

He snorts and elbows him “Because I talk in my sleep?”

“No, because you kicked me on the face that one time–”

“Oh, that was on you”.

“Oh really?” Remus says, cocking an eyebrow with a cheeky grin, almost as if saying _oh tell me about it, that’s interesting._

“You shouldn’t have tried to wake me up when it wasn’t even an emergency”.

“Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying to do that”.

“Fine then you were trying to tie my shoelaces together–”

“What?” Remus exclaims loudly before lowering his voice “You know me, you know that I would do better than that…maybe I would have done it during first year but not in third, I have standards”.

He has to admit that it’s true, for someone that would be constantly rolling his eyes at them, he always had good ideas when it came to pranks and would actually think a lot about not getting caught.

“Then what were you trying to do?” 

“I was trying to take your shoes off and put your legs on the bed” Remus responds, he doesn’t look smug like he is trying to teach Sirius a lesson or bitter about the situation in general, it’s a simple fact.

“Oh” he says, panickedly trying to remember if he ever apologized for that.

“Oh” he imitates him again exaggeratedly, making a dismissive gesture with his hand like he is trying to tell him that it isn’t a big deal.

Maybe it isn’t, after all, it’s not the worst thing that he has done to Remus but that doesn’t make him feel better at all. 

“I’m sorry” he can see a hint of surprise in Remus’s face when he hears it; that feels like a punch in the gut.

“It’s fine,” Remus says with a crooked smile “but if you feel really bad about it, then you can go outside and buy me some cookies”.

He laughs feeling relieved as he stands up to go to the vending machine, he ends up deciding to get him three different types of cookies, both because he is not sure which one he would prefer and because he still feels bad and even if he knows that this won’t make up for it, it’s something.

Sirius does feel better when he gives them to Remus and he gives him a wide and familiar smile, he knows that not everything is fixed but it’s a start. 

-.-.-.-

By the time that Boris has come to Dr.Green's office, Sirius has finished the crossword and Remus his newspaper, went through a couple of magazines and have been playing _Rock, Paper, Scissors_,Remus had said that they weren’t keeping a score but Sirius knows that was only because he was winning but then he heard the door crack open. 

He feels immediately relieved that they can finally get out of there, when he remembers that he agreed to stay for a chat with Dr.Green.

Fuck. 

At least Boris looks happy, he is smiling and has a lollipop in his hand, Dr.Green gives him a formal and professional smile while suggesting for Remus to take Boris to the playground outside, he adds that Sirius could easily see them from the window in his office, he is about to decline but then he sees excitement in Boris’s face, he pats him in the shoulder and kisses him on top of his head before seeing him go. 

Dr.Green guides him to his office, even if it’s the only room at the end of the hallway and there is no way for him to get lost, when they walk inside of the office, he shows him the window that he was talking about and he is right, he can see them arriving at the playground and Boris basically jumps on the swings. 

“Please take a seat, Mr.Black” Dr.Green says politely as he walks towards his seat behind the desk. 

Sirius feels uneasy already because if he is sitting down that means that he is going to be here for long but he forces himself to smile at him as he does, trying to hide his discomfort but he feels like he has let something show because Dr.Green writes something on his notepad, he tries to get a glimpse of what he might be writing but he looks up at him in that moment.

“Oh, that’s so interesting, you know Boris did the exact same thing the first time that he was here” he says, his voice sounds fond, free of judgement “one time he saw me put it on that shelf and I had an emergency so I had to leave for a second and when I came back I found him trying to climb there” he snorts before continuing “but I don’t think I have to worry about you doing that”.

“No, I can reach it” Sirius says in a deadpan tone, Dr.Green just stares back at him without saying anything so he quickly adds “I’m joking”.

He chuckles and nods but before he can say anything else, Sirius says “Not to be rude but can we cut to the chase? I have to go home to deal with some paperwork from my job and I–”

“Yes, of course, I understand, I needed to speak to you about your psychological assessment”. He must notice Sirius’s confused expression on his face because he goes on “It’s a process of testing that uses a combination of techniques to help gather some information about the individual, their behavior, personality and capabilities, now we usually do it before the adoptee goes to live with the potential adopter but Mrs.Winkles put on a good word for you and requested for it to be done afterwards”. 

Sirius didn’t know that she had done that for him, he feels grateful but also wishes that she had mentioned this part, he is sure that nobody had even talked about it when he was filling all the paperwork. 

“You don’t have to worry, it’s not a general knowledge or education-based quiz, you don’t have to study for it, it’s about your personal history and you have to answer it honestly and be yourself” he tells him like he is trying to ease him into it. 

It’s not working, first because Sirius doesn’t want to talk about his personal things with a complete stranger and second because he bullshit a lot of the paperwork he filled when he was asked about his personal history, there were parts when he was completely honest but it was in the basic information part like his name, his age and his address but he completely made up his school and medical records.

He can’t even remember the name of his fake boarding school but he is pretty sure that he can manage, he can talk circles around him, he’ll find a way. 

“Just be yourself, I know that it’s normal to feel a little anxious when opening up about your personal history–”

“Can we just do it right now?” He asks, he just wants to get this whole thing over with. 

“Oh, well no” he says looking surprised but he recovers quickly “I have another appointment with a different client and while I do appreciate the enthusiasm, the process could take hours and I’m missing a couple of tests and surveys, I was hoping that you would be able to make an appointment for next week”.

“Yeah, I can do that” Sirius says, it’s not like he has another choice. 

“Perfect” he says writing something down on his notepad before shaking his hand “then I’ll be seeing you next week”. 

“Looking forward to it” he smiles and shakes his hand.

He stands up and tries to leave as fast as he can, he waves at the secretary before he leaves and makes his way to the playground. 

When he gets there, it takes a second for him to find Boris, he isn’t on the swings anymore and there are a couple of other kids playing around that weren’t there before but then he makes out his voice and sees him holding onto the monkey bars and swinging while Remus stands next to him, stretching his arms to hold him if he falls but pretending like he isn’t when Boris glances over to look at him. 

“I told you I can do it on my own, don’t worry” Boris says happily swinging from side to side.

“Yeah, I know” Remus nods, giving a step back, putting his hands up in innocence “it’s just in case”.

“Do you want to see me jump?” Boris asks him innocently but even from a distance, Sirius can see the fear in Remus's eyes.

He thinks that’s the right moment to interrupt and he walks over next to Remus, he just casually says “Hey, what are you two doing?”

“Oh, hi Sirius!” Boris says before completely letting go off the bars and jumping down at the ground and putting his arms up “TA-DA, see it was fine”.

“I never said that it wouldn’t'” Remus responds simply but Sirius had seen his face a few seconds ago, he was terrified. 

Boris laughs, taking Sirius’s hand and asking “So how did it go with Dr.Green?”

“Fine, I have to come see him next week”. 

“Oh, you have to go to therapy too?” Boris asks him, looking up at him. 

“No, I just have to do a test” he responds firmly, reminding himself that he only has to go once and then it’s over “it’s part of the process but don’t you worry about it”.

Sirius gave Boris a calm smile before looking over at Remus who gives him a comforting pat on the back that lets him know that he understands how mortifying this  
is for him and knows how hard it must be.

“So you never told me what you two were doing?” Sirius asks looking down at Boris who smiles brightly at him.

“Uncle Remus went down a slide with me” he says, taking Remus’s hand as well.

“I still cannot believe I fit in there, I haven’t been in one since I was like thirteen” Remus says clearly shocked, Sirius snorts. 

“I told you that you would,” Boris says proudly “One time, when I lived in Las Vegas, one of my friends and I slept inside of one”.

“A slide or a playground?” Sirius asks him, he had heard bits and pieces of Las Vegas but Boris would always change the topic, he wondered if he had a similar time to the one in Ukraine, he hoped it at least had been better.

“Both” Boris says with a shrug “but different days, that day we just got inside of the slide because it was cold and the cubby was taken by Roy”.  
“Who is Roy?” Remus asks. 

“The dude that slept there” Boris says like it’s obvious.

“Oh, of course” Remus says nodding in understanding. 

They walk towards the motorcycle and when they are about to get to the parking lot, when Sirius asks Remus if he is going to come with them.

“I would love to but I really have to head home, I still haven’t gotten my groceries and I promised my parents that I would go eat dinner with them today”.

“Oh, say hi to them from me” Sirius says as Boris goes to pull Remus in for a hug before he goes.

“I’ll see you two later” he says, looking around to see if there was anyone else around before running behind a wall.

“Oh Uncle Remus, the exit is over there–” he says before looking behind the wall and then back in the front “Did he just?”

“It’s called Apparate” he explains “it’s a magical form of transportation”.

“Wow” Boris says looking back at the wall and even touching it like if he pokes it enough times, Remus is going to fall out “Can you do it?”

“Yeah but the motorcycle is more fun, also Apparating can be a bit stomach turning and overwhelming for kids doing it for the first time and I don’t want you to go through it just yet”.

He expects Boris to be annoyed but instead he beams, takes his hand back and says “You are right, the motorcycle is more fun”. 

.-.-.-.-.-.

When they arrive home, Boris asks him if he wants help to take out the groceries and to make dinner but Sirius knows that he has to do his homework so he shakes his head and tells him that he can do it by himself and Boris can go to his room to do his homework.

Boris comes back when Sirius is starting to cook dinner, he has his school writing utensils in his hands and he just starts to work while they both listen to the music play on the radio. 

Once the spaghetti is ready, Boris picks up his notebooks from the table and moves it to his room, when he comes back, he asks “Hey, after dinner, can you read me one of the books that uncle Remus gave me today?”

“Sure” he says, taking out the cutlery before he remembers to ask “You have finished your homework, right?”

“Technically I still have something left but it’s for two weeks from now” he sighs putting his face in his hands frustrated “Listen I don’t like to ask for help but I have to do a family tree, I always failed that project in other schools I never knew anything about my parents but maybe I could use your family”.

“You want to use my two second cousins who should never have interbred in the first place?” He says that on an impulse, it’s a comment that he has used since Hogwarts but then he looks at Boris's confused expression and realizes that he has made a mistake.

“Your cousins did... what?” Boris asks confused and frowning.

“This is probably a terrible way to tell you that my parents are cousins”.

Boris takes one of the forks and makes a thoughtful expression before saying “Well, to be fair to you, it’s not like it is your fault and I don’t think there is a right way to say it”. 

“Yes, it’s very gross” Sirius still thinks he should have said it better but whatever, “but anyways, you can always just use Mr. and Mrs.Potter instead for grandparents, they adopted me so it counts...” certainly he considers them much better parents than those second cousins he was saddled with “also you could ask Mrs.Winkles about your family history as well”.

“I don’t know if I can ask that,” he says, shaking his head. 

“Why not?” Sirius asks, he doesn’t think that there is any rule against it and Mrs. Winkles wouldn’t mind telling him. 

“Well, the last time that we talked about my relatives, it was because she was looking for any of them to take me in but all of them were in Ukraine, Poland and Russia” he explains looking down at his plate “and I didn’t want to go there, specially not Ukraine and I told her that if she made me go then I would kill myself”.

Sirius nods quietly, he can’t help but to understand Boris’s situation, he probably felt cornered and saw no other way, besides Sirius has threatened to kill himself over less but before he can say anything else, Boris says “It’s fucked up, I know”.

“I understand why you did it–”

“I wanted to scare her, that’s why I did it and it was wrong,” he says simply, clearly ashamed, still looking down at his plate and playing with his food.

“I’m not saying it wasn’t wrong, I’m saying I understand” that gets Boris to look up at him, he reaches for him and holds his hand “You didn’t want to scare her just for the sake of scaring her, you probably felt trapped and like there was no way out and that…probably felt like the right thing to do”.

“I just didn’t want to be with them, I didn’t want to go there” Boris sniffs a little bit, cleaning his face with his sleeve “and I mean at least it wasn’t a lie”.

“What do you mean?” he asks, even if a part of him knows what Boris is referring to, he still hopes that he is wrong and Boris was trying to say something different.  
“The last time I was in Ukraine, I was living on the street and I was hungry, it was really cold and there was this black van that tried to take me so I started to run and I didn’t stop until I was near a bridge and I thought of jumping” Boris face was slowly going red and tears springing to his eyes, this time Sirius is the one that wipes the corners of his eyes even if hearing that story makes his own stomach turn and he feels like he is going to be sick, the idea that Boris was all alone in a strange place, that he was cold, that he was hungry, that he was alone, it just broke him “but I did not, obviously”. 

“Of course you didn’t, you are here” he says, unsure if he is trying to reassure Boris or himself, he attempts to sound chipper but his tone sounds choked up, even if he does manage to fake a smile for Boris, he doesn’t want to make him any sadder than he already feels. 

Boris smiles back at him before he starts eating his spaghetti, the rest of dinner is uneventful, they just talk about their day and once they are done, they end up sitting down on the couch and watching cartoons for half an hour before Boris goes to brush his teeth and take a shower so that he can put on his pajamas and Sirius will read him any book he wants before he goes to sleep.

He turns off the T.V. and he is about to make his way to his room when he hears the telephone ring, he answers quickly, thinking that it might be Mrs.Winkles to talk to him about her visit tomorrow, he relaxes when he hears James’s voice but tenses again when he hears him say that they have a meeting tomorrow. 

“Again?!?” Sirius says, feeling distressed. 

“We always had them this often” James responds, sounding a little sheepish “is everything alright?”

“Yeah—No, Mrs. Winkles is coming to see the place tomorrow” Sirius says frustrated, damn it, he was going to ask Lucille if she could babysit Boris again, he already felt bad about asking her the last time.

“You can come a little late, we’ll cover for you” James says with a calm tone of voice managing to tranquilize him. 

“I still have to call Lucille to ask her if she can babysit” Sirius says out loud, both to remind himself and to let James know that he might have to hang up soon.

“Cool, I’ll talk to you tomorrow” James responds simply “take care, say hi to Boris from me”. 

“Sure, say hi to Lily from me as well” He responds before hanging up and quickly dialing Lucille’s phone number, he waits a couple of minutes before she answers.

“Hello”. 

“Hi Lucille, It’s Sirius, I’m sorry to bother you again—”

“Oh, it’s fine” she says, which just makes him feel worse, he hears her sit down somewhere, he assumes it’s a couch “Is everything okay? Do you need help?”

“Yeah” he admits embarrassed “I wanted to ask if you could babysit Boris again, I’m really sorry and if you and Nick are busy, I’ll—”

“We’ll love to have Boris over tomorrow” she says, he can hear Gyuri insisting for Boris to come.

“Oh, thank you so much, I owe you a big one, I promise I’ll babysit Gyuri anytime you need anything, I swear”. 

“I might take your word on that” she says laughingly “So just like last time?” 

“Not exactly, I do have to bring Boris home because Mrs.Winkles is coming tomorrow so I’ll drop him off” he explains quickly “Thanks again and I’m really sorry, they just called me from work a couple of minutes ago and we have an emergency meeting”.

“Another one?” she says surprised, her voice turning stern. “You have to talk to your boss and tell him that he has to start scheduling those meetings better. I understand that what you are doing is important but you have a kid now, some things have to change, you can’t be available at the drop of a hat, twenty-four seven”.

He is about to complain when he remembers that Lucille has no idea that there is a war going on, she thinks he works for a charity, besides she is doing him a favour and probably just wants to help him out, in a way she is right, there is a new priority in his life and he can’t just run out each night like it’s not a big deal.

“Yeah, to be honest I haven’t even told Dumbledore or most people at my work that I have a kid now, well except for my friends”.

“That’s your boss’s name?” she says clearly amused “you must have great self-control, my inner ten year old would be calling him DUMBledore all day at least in my head”. 

Sirius snorts, then he hears a door open and sees Boris walking out of his bedroom door with the book _James and The Giant Peach _,  
in his hands. 

“Hey, I have to go but we can make fun of him another day, alright?” 

“Sure, take care, see you tomorrow” she says before hanging up. 

They go to Sirius’s room, Boris opens the bed and jumps on it for a second before getting under the bedsheets, Sirius lays next to him and he passes him the book, he reads it to him and he doesn’t realize how much time has passed by until he looks at the watch and he expects Boris to be at least slightly sleepy but he is perfectly awake, looking up at him expectantly, clearly wanting him to finish.

“Tomorrow?” he offers instead. 

“Yeah, okay” Boris says, stretching his arms as he yawns. 

Sirius smiles as he goes to the bathroom to change into the pajamas, when he comes back, Boris is still reading the book, he looks up at him with an innocent smile before putting it back on the night table, Sirius snorts before turning off the lights. 

“Can I tell you something?” Boris turns to ask him, Sirius nods “You have to promise me that you won’t get mad”.

“Of course, you can tell me anything” Sirius reassures him, maybe he had forgotten to do some work and had just remembered at the last minute or maybe he was ready to sleep on his own bed.

“I had already read the beginning of the book” Boris answers sounding embarrassed.

“Oh, that’s okay” Sirius says laying in bed next to him “Did you want to read it again?”

“Something like that, I used to borrow it from a friend” Boris sounds fond like he is thinking of a happy memory “it used to be his favorite because his mom used to read it to him”.

Sirius feels like in a way Boris is telling him that he asked him because he wanted him specifically to read it to him and he feels touched by that.

“That’s really sweet,” he says as Boris scoots closer to him. 

“I know, he was really sweet” Boris tells him but even in the dark, his smile looks bittersweet “he told me that when he was a baby, his mom would call him puppy because he waited at the door for her every day, that was his baby name”.

“Baby name?” he asks unsure of what that means exactly.

“It’s like a nickname that you would get called when you were a baby” Boris shrugs leaning into Sirius’s shoulder “I think my baby name was Borya, that’s what my mom called me, my dad didn’t”.

“Mine was probably _disappointment _ or _nightmare child_" he says remembering how his mother would yell at him, he thinks Boris must be asleep but then his eyes open as he puts his arm around him and pulls him into a hug before they both drift into sleep. 

-.-.-.-

Sirius tells Boris about the meeting while they are eating breakfast, he doesn’t expect him to look at him with sad eyes, he tries to hide it and doesn’t ask him not to go but his expression is enough to make Sirius feel guilty for the rest of the day, he tries to focus on other things, on cleaning, hiding some magical things that he just doesn’t want Mrs. Winkles to find, he takes Boris’s broomstick and puts it in the kitchen’s closet, he puts all the pictures that can move inside of the secret spot on his night table and makes sure that everything is in the right place before going to pick up Boris from school. 

He doesn’t come as early as he did yesterday, he can actually see Nick’s car driving away making him feel slightly relieved even if he knows that he has to see him later today, he just focuses on parking and then on getting to Boris who is already waiting for him, he takes his hand and they run to the motorcycle. 

When they arrive at the apartment, Mrs.Winkles isn’t there yet, they end up sitting down in the kitchen waiting, that’s when Boris slide a paper towards him, Sirius flips the paper and smiles when he sees that it was the test that he brought up yesterday, Boris stretches his hand to give him a high five but instead Sirius goes for a hug. 

“I’m so proud of you” he says as he feels Boris snuggle his head into his shoulder.

“It’s not a big deal” Boris says but makes no effort to pull away from him.

He is still smiling even when they pull away so that Sirius can put it on the fridge, he turns back to look at Boris to see what he thinks, he looks somewhat frozen with a smile on his face before giving him the thumbs up. 

“I promise that I will make a bigger celebration for it tomorrow,” Sirius says sitting back down.

“You don’t have to” Boris shakes his head.

“I want to, I would take you out today but—”

“You have to go, it’s fine, I’m not upset” Boris tells him making a dismissive gesture with his hand but after a second he asks him “you’ll come back, right?”

“Of course, I’ll be back” he answers, he didn’t know that Boris was worried about him not coming back at all “Why wouldn’t I?”

Sirius expects Boris to talk about the war, about how it’s dangerous and he is ready to tell him how he can handle it and how he’ll be back before he knows it but he doesn’t say any of that, he shrugs before saying “Everyone gets tired of me eventually”.

He doesn’t even look sad, it’s like he is telling him a simple fact of life like the sky is blue and the grass is green, in a way he gets it because he would speak the same nonchalant way about his parents but to hear it from Boris makes Sirius’s heart break in a way that hasn’t before.

He wants to tell him so many different things, that anyone that doesn’t want to see him is an idiot, that he never would, that words might not mean a lot to him but he is going to prove it with actions and—

The doorbell rings meaning that Mrs.Winkles is there and they both stand up quickly to open the door but when they both get there, Boris moves aside letting him open the door. 

“Good afternoon, Mr.Black” Mrs.Winkles says, already taking out a notepad “May I come in?”

“Of course” he says, opening the door fully so that she can walk in. 

Mrs.Winkles smiles as she greets Boris, he is happy to see her as well, he looks like he is going to reach for a hug but then quickly puts his hands on his back, she crouches down and he expects her to pull Boris in for a hug, instead she politely ask him to please roll up his sleeves and shows his arm and it’s the same with his pants, he shows her up to his knees and after a couple of minutes of her continuing the whole body check, she stands up and checks his hair as well.

“All good?” Boris asks her when she puts a few notes on her notepad. 

“Yes, thank you, honey” she says sweetly before turning back to Sirius “I need to see the rest of the house again”. 

“Of course” Sirius nods before giving her space to continue her search. 

She continues to walk around the living room, he sees her look at his fire alarm, he follows right behind her, trying to get a look at what she is writing, he is taller than her and he is able to see a bit but it’s quick, it’s a checklist and he can only read one part where already has a check in Address is clearly visible and location is accessible and he thinks she is ambidextrous, since she did the check with one hand and wrote on the notebook with another,it’s impressive even if he has no idea what she just wrote, he is not able to understand her calligraphy or the signs that she is using. 

Mrs. Winkles turns back to look at him, she asks him if there is an extinguisher in the house, there is one, it used to belong to the old owner but apparently he forgot about it when he left and while Sirius never had a use for it and left it on the kitchen’s closet behind the brooms, he decided not to throw it away.

He takes it out to show it to her, it’s dusty and it takes a while to find but he thinks it’s probably a good thing, right? She is probably going to see it as there has never been a need for it, basically there has never been a fire in this house (of course, that’s not true but she doesn’t need to know that).

“That’s great but you still need to put it in a place that 's closer to you so that you can use it in any type of emergency”. 

Sirius is about to say that it wouldn’t really be necessary but decides not to argue, he’ll just find a different place to put it in the kitchen.

She continues to go through the kitchen and once she is done, they make it to the bedrooms, she goes to Boris’s first and she smiles when she sees the bed, the new furniture and the clothes, the room still looks a little empty but it does look more lived in, with papers and colored pencils on the desk, the books on the night table and slippers next to the bed. 

Mrs.Winkles looks inside of the closet and Sirius notices that he forgot to hide the robes that he bought for Boris but she doesn’t seem to notice, she just moves them to look at the other clothes, she smiles before closing it and walking towards the bathroom.

When they walk towards his room, she tells him that she thinks it’s sweet that he bought a costume for Boris. All Sirius does in response is nod, Boris is the one that tells her that he didn’t even ask for it, Sirius saw him eyeing it and decided to buy it for him.

She goes through Sirius’s room the same way she did the last time and just like last time he waits until they are in the bathroom to ask “Is everything in order?”  
“I still have to go through the last bathroom” she says politely “but I do need to talk to you in private for a moment?”

“Oh” he says before turning to Boris who sighs but shrugs. 

“I’ll wait in the living room”. 

“You can watch T.V. while you wait” he offers, Boris nods before walking away.

They wait a couple of minutes in which she writes something else in her notebook and then they continue walking to the next bathroom, that’s when she says “Now that everything is in order and there aren’t any safety hazards, we need to talk about the adoption reference letters-”

“Oh fu-” he bites his tongue cutting himself off quickly “I’m sorry, were those for today?”

“No, Mr.Black, don’t worry, I didn’t give you the sample letter” she says before pulling a paper from a folder and then putting it on his hand “I won’t lie to you, this is an important part for the home study process, it’s a good way for us to understand what you are like from an external perspective from someone who really knows you and it’s a better-rounded picture of the home situation”.

He nods, after all that sounds reasonable. 

“You must provide between three and five letters of reference”. 

Sirius nods again, he can totally manage- 

“The reference letters can’t come from close family members or any close relatives–” 

“Oh, that’s–” _bullshit_ “manageable”_such bullshit_ “Who should I ask to write them?”

She smiles at him sympathetically before starting her list “Close and long-time friends that you have known for at least five years”. 

“Alright” he says, he can just ask Peter and Remus, easy there. 

“Maybe one of your neighbors,” she continues. 

That would be more difficult, this isn’t one of those buildings where everyone talks to each other and knows each other's names, they all only see each other and smile awkwardly or politely at each other in the elevator. 

“One of your co-workers” she asks him, Sirius almost shakes his head but keeps himself still, that might not be a bad idea. 

“Church members where you attend church?” she asks him that part, almost as if the question is _Do you go to church?_

He shakes his head, he had gone to the mandir with the Potters but he didn’t go often or on his own, she nods back with understanding. 

“Maybe you can ask an old teacher from your high school, I’m sure you are quite memorable” She offers awkwardly patting him in the back again “or maybe not, you do seem like you might have been a troublemaker?” 

“What gave it away?” he asks her, maybe he needs to work on hiding that. 

She tilts her head looking at him thoughtfully before smiling “You just have one of those faces, it reminds me of my husband”. 

Sirius smiles back, realizing that she means it as a compliment, even if he can’t imagine the nice man who installed his telephone causing any type of trouble.

“Do you have any friends who have children of their own?” she asks him then, clearly back to her profesional side.

“No really, I’m the first one of my group to have kids” he tells honestly, she nods again.

“Well, Do you have friends that have witnessed you interacting with Boris or other children?”

He nods but that would be the only two people that he already had in mind asking. 

“Whoever you end up choosing, the important part is to remind them to talk about how they know you and how long they may have known you for, to talk about your  
character and describe your strengths and what would make you fit for adopting a child, I’m sure that if they have seen you with Boris then they know” she says, that part actually does make him feel better “just tell them to speak honestly and don’t forget to proofread and edit it before you send it off”.

“I’ll keep all of that in mind,” he says, going through it on his head. 

She shakes his hand as she tells him that she’ll be in touch with him, she does hug Boris before she leaves and once she is out of the apartment, he waits a few minutes even if he is already running a little late because he doesn’t want to run into her in the elevator but once he feels like enough time has passed by, he picks Boris up and runs to the parking lot. 

Once he is on the seat, he puts his helmet on his head and once he is sure that Boris is safe, he starts the motorcycle and decides to fly to avoid any type of traffic and once he can see Lucille’s building, he relaxes and manages to park perfectly.

He helps Boris to get out from the sidecar and to take the helmet off, they walk towards the door and he pushes the buzzer for Lucille’s house, she says that she’ll be down there in a moment and when he turns to look at Boris who is looking at the ground, he remembers their conversation on the kitchen table, he crouches down and holds his shoulders.

“There isn’t a thing in this world would stop me from coming back for you and I would never get sick of you” he says, that gets Boris to look up at him questioningly like he thinks Sirius is getting something wrong or that he doesn’t know what he is talking about but that doesn’t discourage him at all “I’m coming back no matter what”. 

Boris blinks surprised, he just stares back at him carefully, trying to study his expression like he is trying to catch him in a lie but then his face softens a little bit.

“Alright” he nods coming to a decision “We’ll see”. 

It’s not the answer that he wanted but he understands that Boris needs time to believe him, he was already expecting that, he pulls him in for a hug and doesn’t let go until he hears the door behind him open, he thinks he is going to see Lucille but ends up seeing Nick instead. 

“Hey,” Nick says with a tight lipped smile, “good to see you two again”. 

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too” Sirius says as Boris takes his backpack from his hand.

Nick shifts to the side to give Boris space to walk in and gives him a pat in the back, Sirius thinks that it’s going to be it but then Nick stops him and asks him “You haven’t said anything about the situation to Lucille, right?”

“No, I haven’t” he says, it’s the truth, he hasn’t said anything to Lucille. 

“She says that she wants to go on a double date with your friends” Nick says, his tone is flat, he can’t tell if he is annoyed or if he likes the idea. 

“They are really good people, I think you would like James” he tells him, he can see them getting along. 

Nick just shrugs but then something in his stance changes, he thinks he might have caught onto something and he is going to ask if he told his friends but he doesn’t, he asks him “Are you going to see Molly today?”

His voice comes out quick like a whisper and it sounds slightly child-like and it makes Sirius slightly uncomfortable, it reminds him of when Andromeda left and how  
Narcissa just couldn’t understand that she wasn’t going to come back, of course the situations are different and he isn’t frustrated with Nick like he was with Narcissa but the sadness in the voice is the same.

“Yes” he tells him because there isn’t a point in lying about that.

“Can you tell her that—” he stops himself closing his mouth slowly, Sirius wants to say that he’ll pass any message that he wants even if he doesn’t like talking to Molly, he’ll yell at her for Nick if that’s what he wants but then Nick shakes his head “Forget it, it’s not important”. 

“Are you sure?” he asks still because he was already coming up with what he was going to say to confront Molly. 

“Have a good day at work” Nick responds with an uneasy look on his face,glancing over at Boris, he clearly didn’t want him to hear this conversation. 

Sirius nods before kissing Boris on the top of his head and walking away, he checked his watch again, fuck, he was going to be so late. 

.-.-.-.-.

The meeting has already started when Sirius arrives, James had been buying him time by telling a story to Dumbledore, he wasn’t sure about what but he is glad that James had actually delayed the meeting, he settles next to Lily and is able to see Molly at the other side of the room, she pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs, clearly annoyed at him for being late.

He scoffs loud enough for her to hear, he wants to tell her that if she has any problem with him, she can just say it but then he remembers Nick doing the same gesture and how he had sniffed when he started to talk about Molly. 

Sirius keeps his mouth shut but he can’t stop glaring at her afterwards, he only stops to look at his watch, he knows that he didn’t agree on a time to pick up Boris but somehow he feels like he is running late. 

He does listen to what everyone is saying but he can’t be completely focused on anything and when it’s time to go, he is the first one to stand up but Peter stops him, telling him not to leave right away since he was the last one to arrive, he tells him to wait a couple of minutes, Sirius wants to brush it off but decides to stay talking up with Peter, Remus James and Lily for a bit, they are planning on going out tonight, usually he would say yes without even thinking about it but he knows that Boris is waiting for him so he shakes his head.

“Hey, are you guys free tomorrow? I was telling James that we could go rollerblading” Lily asks them, James has his arm around her and grins, Sirius agrees immediately because he knows that Boris has probably been looking forward to it, Remus nods with a small smile, they turn to look at Peter who reluctantly nods as well.

“Alright, we’ll talk about the details later” Sirius says already making his way out, he turns to wave at them before walking out of the door. 

When he is out of the door, he bumps into Molly who glares back at him and tells him “Ow!! Jezz!! Watch where you are going!!”

Sirius scoffs, he had barely bumped into her, there is no way for it to have hurt that much, she is just overreacting, he rolls his eyes and tries to walk away when he hears Molly say “You are not even going to say sorry”.

He rolls his eyes turning to look back at her and says with a sardonic smile and in his fakest polite tone “I’m so sorry, your majesty, may I please go now?”

She gives him a scornful look “You just can’t take anything seriously, can you?”

Sirius snorts, she just walked right into that one “Actually, people say I’m quite—”

Molly groans frustrated “Everything is a joke to you isn’t it?”

“No, I’m just funny and I have a good natural sense of humor but I understand that you have no idea what that is like” he says mockingly putting his hands over his mouth pretending regret “I guess that it is kind of mean for me to rub that in, _I’m so sorry”_.

“I honestly don’t understand why you keep showing up here” she says, she is getting riled up, her face is turning slightly red and gritting her teeth. 

“I’m always going to be showing up here, I’m a part of the Order, whether you like it or not”. 

“You don’t even care about any of this, it’s so obvious—” 

“The only thing that I obviously don’t care for is this conversation, believe me, Molly, you have no idea what I care or don’t care about—” 

“Yes, I do,” she says disdainfully, crossing her arms, Sirius snorts at the ridiculousness that Molly might know anything about him. 

“You think too highly of yourself, if you think that you know anything about me” he can see Edgar Bones walking past them without giving them a second look, he clearly didn’t want to get involved in the discussion. 

“I don’t need to be a genius to know that you think that this isn’t worth your time, that’s _obvious_, you were looking at the watch the whole time—” 

“Molly, let me make this clear to you, you don’t know what you are talking about, if I didn't care, then I wouldn’t come, it would really be that simple—” 

“And let me make this clear to you, this isn’t some club or some hobby that you can do for _fun_ with your friends, this is serious and if you can’t commit to this, then don’t come because the last thing we need are people who will just get distracted by anything”.

“It is not some random distraction” he says angrily, almost vicious “like I said you don’t know anything about me and you just like to think the worst of me”.

“I don’t think the worst of you, Sirius, I see you exactly as you are” she sounds completely self assured.

That’s exactly why Sirius can’t stand her, she acts like she knows exactly what’s right for everyone else, he has no idea how Nick can even miss her but he hasn’t seen her in so long, he is probably looking back at his memories with the rose colored glasses of nostalgia, that he gets, it can happen to the best of them, the real question is how are there people that can stand her. 

“No, you don’t, you just like to put yourself on a pedestal and think that everyone else is beneath you, you just think you are so perfect”.

She rolls her eyes in annoyance “I don’t think I’m perfect—” 

“Good because you are not, from what I heard, you are the farthest thing from it”.

“What are you even talking about?”

“What am I talking about, hm, I don’t know, maybe how you think you’re so noble for being a part of this yet I don’t get the same courtesy? Oh wait, you’re not officially a member of the Order because of your family, right, you care so much about your family, right until they don’t meet your expectations, then you just drop them like a hot fire-salamander, never even talk to them for _ years_, just act like_ they don't exist_. You think you are so great but you’re just a hypocrite, like so many others.” God Sirius hates hypocrites so much. She reminds him of Narcissa: family is so important, except when we decide to cut family members out because of society bullshit. Proper behavior is so important, except apparently disowning kids because they don’t want to join a fucking _hate group_, or for what they were _literally born as_ in Nick’s case, counts as _proper_.

“There is no way that you could know about—” A shocked and horrified expression spread through Molly’s face as she stuttered out “Do—Are you talking about Eric?”  
“Who the fuck is Eric?” Sirius responds confused before making a horrified expression “Do you have two cousins that you are ignoring? What the hell—”  
“If not Eric, then who are you talking about?” she interrupts him, Sirius would be more annoyed if she didn’t look so rattled, she hasn’t even made a comment about his “foul language.” 

Nick is going to kill him if he finds out, but Molly already brought it up, so fuck it, someone _needs_ to tell her off. The fact that it will be him is just a bonus. So he just says “Nick Prewett? Lived in the States until recently?”

Molly stares and then says “Nicholas was Eric’s middle name...” 

Well, that is just too much of a coincidence. It all makes sense now, he must have switched names to distance himself from his shitty family, Sirius had actually thought of doing so after running away, he ended up deciding it was a bigger fuck you to just keep it in spite of being disowned, still, good for Nick.

“He said that he thought that if anyone was going to reach out, that person would be you, I guess he thought you were better than you actually are, which gives you two something in common” he says, feeling satisfied when he sees her face and ears turn red, he doesn’t know if it’s out of shame or out of rage. 

He thinks she is going to slap him but instead she starts walking away and it takes a second for him to realize what he has just done. 

“Molly!! Wait up!!” He starts to go after her but she just starts running and he is starting to worry that she is going to apparate away and after what just happens, he highly doubts they are going to have a civilized conversation so he just starts to shout “Just don’t tell his parents he is here, you can’t tell his parents that he is—”

“He shouldn’t even be here in the first place” she says, sounding exasperated. 

“He’s a grown adult, he can take care of himself.” And even if he was a kid, that still doesn’t give his family the right to dictate his entire life, at least in Sirius’s opinion, but that is a different discussion, this is about Nick right now. “Nobody has any right to tell him where he is supposed to be, let alone any of you”. 

He is unsure if he has just made things worse, she is glaring at him again like she wants to hit him but he keeps talking anway “If you tell them, then he won’t forgive you”. 

_Or me_.

She stays there, he can’t read the expression on her face, she just stops staring at him and instead she looks down, he doesn’t know if she is embarrassed or just angry and repressing it, maybe she is just lost in a thought and has no idea of what to do yet.

“Is that what you want?” he asks her, trying to get her to say something, to say that she won’t say anything.

“How do you even know him?” she asks him, instead of answering, her face looks confused like she is still putting the pieces together.

“I have my ways”.

He can see the frustration in her eyes before slowly nodding, he can see that she is annoyed that he is not going to tell her how he met Nick but that’s her problem.  
“How is he?” she asks, her face softening slightly. 

“He is fine, you would know that if you hadn’t been ignoring him for the last seventeen years” he says, she glares at him again, he is sure that she is actually going to hit him this time but she doesn’t, she just sighs and looks away from him “So are you going to tell his parents—”

“No, I’m not going to tell them” she says, still glaring at him like this is his fault somehow, he has to bite the inside of his mouth not to say that she has no one to blame but herself “Is he really okay? You have to promise me that—”

“Yes, he is fine, like I said he can take care of himself” he says but the worried look on her face makes him add, “I swear on my friends’ lives that he is okay”. 

“I believe you” sShe nods slowly “but I still want to find out on my own”.

“That’s a terrible idea” Sirius says, he can’t even imagine what his reaction might be. 

“I didn’t ask for your opinion” she says with determination. 

“Fine, forget about my opinion but what about Nick’s opinion, you can’t possibly be so selfish to just show up after all this time like nothing has happened, I don’t even know if he wants to see you”.

“What if he does wants to see me?” she argues instead. 

“Even if he did, have you thought about how maybe he is mad and hurt about how he was excluded by all of you?” he asks her, that actually gets her to wince a little bit “You didn’t talk to him for years, you don’t get to show up and just act like nothing happened and decide to be his caring cousin all suddenly without thinking about how he might feel about it”.

“I’m going to see him and nothing you say is going to change my mind” She insists, completely ignoring what Sirius had just said. 

“I can’t believe you don’t even care about how this might hurt him, Molly, I swear I won’t let you hurt him—”

“I appreciate the concern but I’m going to apologize in person and I’m going to see him and he is going to decide what happens next, like you said he is an adult, he can make his own decisions”.

Sirius wants to rip his own hair out, he is not making decisions for Nick, he just knows what it’s like to be completely excluded from your family and for one of them to just show up at your door randomly, after you feel like you were finally getting over everything that had happened. 

“There is no way in hell that I’m telling you where he is” he says hoping that this will discourage her from going. 

“I don’t want or need your help to see him, I’ll find him on my own” she says with even more determination. 

“Well, good luck with that” he says sarcastically. 

He can see that Molly wants to throw another jab at him but then her sight wanders off and he realizes that she is looking at Arthur who is standing at the other side of the hallway, he wonders for how long he has been standing there or if he has heard anything, Sirius suspects he hasn’t because he is only looking back at them and back at his watch, he probably thought that this was one of their normal arguments, tuned out, and was waiting for it to be over. 

She gives him one final look before walking away and taking Arthur’s arm, he can’t hear what he asks her but by the way she shakes her head, he assumes that he is asking her what they were talking about, he wonders if Arthur knows about Nick and what he would think about this situation, if he would be on Molly’s side or if he would realize how horrible what her family had done actually was. 

Sirius knows that he has to come clean to Nick about everything but he doesn’t know how to break it down to him, still he knows that he has to give him a heads up, he knows that he would have liked one when Narcissa showed up at his doorstep. 

He doesn’t know how he is going to tell him without Lucille hearing about it but he is sure that by the time he is there, he’ll figure it out, for now he just wants to pick Boris and go home. 

.-.-.-.-.

When he arrives at the apartment, Lucille opens the door slowly and whispers “They fell asleep”.

Sirius can see Boris on the couch, his eyes closed and leaning against the pillow, holding onto the blanket with one of his hands, Gyuri has his head on his shoulder and his mouth open, softly snoring and Nick is sitting on a couch right beside them turning off the TV and standing up, clearly trying not to wake either of them up. 

Lucille picks Gyuri up first, she makes an slight grunt but when Nick tries to help her, she shakes her head and manages to do it on her own, Sirius leans down to pick up Boris, deciding that he’ll wake him up when they get to the motorcycle, he wraps his arms around him when he stands up, he feels him stir a little bit but he doesn’t say anything, he just leans his head on his shoulder.

“I’ll go get you his backpack” Nick whispers, tiptoeing towards the kitchen. 

“Would you help me to get everything downstairs?” he asks, because it’s the perfect way to get him alone. 

Nick picks up the backpack and turns to look at him confused as he checks that Lucille won’t hear as he whispers “You didn’t bring your bag?”

“I need to talk to you, it’s urgent” he whispers back, he sees how Nick’s calm expression turns into a horrified one, he manages to hide it quickly, making a gesture for him to wait a second. 

He sees him whisper something to Lucille, there is a small back and forth before he comes out of the room, he looks almost normal but he is gripping Boris’s backpack and his free hand is shaking, he is clearly in some sort of panic but he still opens the door for him, they walk down the stairs and it’s so quiet that they could have heard a pin drop. 

When they stand at the door, Nick puts his hands in his pockets, staring at him so deeply that he is pretty sure that he can look inside of his soul as he says “You lied to me, didn’t you?”

Sirius opens and closes his mouth, he said it so matter of factly that it hurt like he expected him to screw up but he thinks he deserves it.

Nick nods solemnly when he doesn’t respond or say anything else “The war is worse than what you said it was, isn’t it?”

“What?” he responds shocked, shaking his head “No, I’ll never lie about that”. 

“Then what did you lie about?” He asks, looking both more relaxed but also more confrontational, crossing his arm and frowning. 

“Nothing, I swear”. 

Nick nods again but he doesn’t change his posture, instead he leans against the door like he knows that they will be there for a while “Good, then what did you do?”

“Before I say anything I want you to know that I'm so sorry and I really regret everything I did” he says earnestly, he does really feel terrible about the position that he has put Nick in.

“That bad, eh?” Nick says clearly unimpressed “Just give it to me straight, don’t go around it”. 

Sirius isn’t sure if that’s the best way to do it but if that’s what Nick wants, then that’s the least he can do. “I told people about you”. 

He expects Nick to turn red in anger the same way Molly does and scream _What?_ completely outraged but he doesn’t, he just stares back at him rubs his temples before letting out a deep sigh. 

“Of course you did” he says sounding disappointed but not angry which surprises Sirius but it does get to him in a different way, he says it like he is a dumb kid that he shouldn’t have allowed to play inside becuase he knew he was going to break a family heirloom. “Who did you tell?”

“My friends but they won’t say anything to anyone, they are all trustworthy, their names are James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew” he says even if he knows that it’s unlikely that Nick knows any of their names, besides from what Lucille has told him.

Nick nods again “And they won’t tell anyone from my family?”

“They won’t” he says before gulping and deciding to just tell Nick about what had happened “I told Molly about you today”. 

His eyes widen in panic, he actually does go red this time and he opens his mouth but not sounds come out and looks at him like he wants to slap him, if he hadn’t noticed the resemblance to Molly before, he definitely does now. 

Just like Molly, he doesn’t actually slap him, he just stands there looking at him, taking deep breaths like he is trying to calm himself down.

“She figured it out before I came out and said it” he says hoping that it might soften the blow. 

“I’m surprised that she even remembers me” Nick says dismissively. 

“She says that she is not going to tell your parents” he tells him as an attempt to calm him down. 

Nick looks taken off guard and confused like he doesn’t understand what Sirius is saying, he only asks “Why?”

“I told her that if she did, you would never forgive her” he admits, he sees Nick’s face slowly soften when he hears that. 

“What else did she say?”  
“She wanted to know if you were okay” he tells him, he sees Nick frown and tighten his arms around himself. 

“For someone that hasn’t talked to me in literal years, it’s really sweet of her to ask how I’m doing” he laughs humorlessly "No talk about how _ he shouldn’t even be here?" _.

Sirius thinks about saying no because he knows that it would make things easier for them in the reconciliation, but no, Nick deserves honesty. “Only a little bit but I told her to fuck off, that no one has any right to tell you what to do”.

Nick smiles slightly but says “I’m still mad at you but thank you for that”. 

“There is something else I have to tell you” he says, seeing how Nick tenses slightly but nods like telling him that he is ready for it “she wants to see you”.  
He looks taken back once again, he looks lost but then he nods like he just understood something “Did she say that she wouldn’t tell my parents as long as she gets to see me or something like that?”

“No, she just wants to see you”. 

He frowns again “Why?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think she believed me when I said that you were okay and maybe she wants to make sure of it or maybe she just wants to talk to you but to be honest with you, I have no idea what she might be thinking, like I said we aren’t close”. 

“You didn’t give her this address, did you?” he asks looking upstairs, Sirius thinks that he is worried about what Lucille’s reaction might be, if she found Molly on her doorstep.

Sirius thinks that experience of finding Molly at your doorstep must be horrible no matter the circumstances.  
“No, I did not, she told me that she didn’t need my help, that she was going to find you on her own”. 

Nick laughs but this time it isn’t humorless and it takes a minute for him to recover and say “I’m sorry, this isn’t funny, not at all, but she was the only one that could find me during hide and seek, Guideon and Fabian never did because I would always get on the high places and since I was small I fit inside of cabinets and on top of closets, one time it took them an hour to find me but Molly would always find me in the first minutes”.

Sirius doesn’t know what to answer to that, he can see the image of the two of them messing around when they were kids, maybe the same way that Narcissa and him and Regulus did long ago.

“Do you want her to find you this time?” he asks out of curiosity more than anything.

That erased the smile from Nick’s face, he shrugs “I don’t know what I would do If she did, like part of me just wants to yell at her for several hours, maybe days, and another part of me wants to hug her even if I’m still mad at her”. 

Sirius nods, he understands that feeling, even if he usually chooses yelling instead of hugging when it comes to his family members. 

“I should really go back upstairs” Nick says awkwardly “It’s cold”.

“Sure” Sirius nods “Thanks again for babysitting”. 

“Oh, it’s fine” he says passing him the backpack “Gyuri likes to have him over and he is a sweet kid, he wanted to have one of my VHS, it’s a cowboy movie, I think it’s child appropriate but it’s like really bad, I have no idea of why he wanted it but I gave it to him so if he forces you to watch it and it’s worse than I remember, my bad”. 

Sirius snorts before adding “I’m sorry about... well, everything”.

“Don’t do it again” Nick says before walking back inside the building “I’ll see you later”. 

Sirius nods before walking away, when he gets to his motorcycle he manages to put Boris on the side car, he sees his eyes slowly flutter open, he looks around and rubs his eyes with his hands, he doesn’t ask him at what time he picked him up or what time it is, but he just looks up at him and asks “Home?”

“Yeah, we are going home” he answers putting a helmet on his head and putting his seatbelt on. 

He takes out his jacket, worried that Boris might be cold and puts it on him like a blanket and Boris shakes his head and pushes it towards him “You’ll get cold”.

“No, I won’'t,” he says, shaking his head, even if he gets cold, better him than Boris. 

He gets on the motorcycle and starts it, just happy to be going home with his kid.


	8. No Excuses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Past Femicide, past domestic violence, past murder of spouse (Boris's dad criminal activities), past parental death, theft, custody argument, past neglect, underage drinking and mention of alcohol/drinking, kissing without asking, ended friendship, scars, past child abuse (physical), discussion of unhealthy/toxic relationships, family estrangement/disowning, fictional bigotry & fictional slurs, unintentional misgendering (character isn't out), underage drug dealing, mentions of microaggressions of racism and sexism, discussion of dead body remains, discussion of past violent death/murder, mention of pregnancy, discussion of abusive relationships (including the situation of victim loving their abuser).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again a thank you to my friend skypalacearchitect for all her help and for being the best.

Boris wakes up and stares at the window trying to figure out what time it is, he can’t really look at the watch that he is used to waking up next to, he had fallen asleep on Sirius’s side of the bed, he didn’t think that he was particularly bothered by it since he was the one that put him there.

He had made it home half-asleep and he had barely been able to change his clothes, he remembers Sirius snorting as he told him that his t-shirt was backwards before picking him up and tucking him into bed, the last thing Boris had felt before he drifted off to sleep was Sirius putting his arm around him and holding him. 

It’s still there now that he is up.

When Boris sleeps, he usually doesn’t dream, he likes it better that way because when he dreams all he has are nightmares.

Not even different nightmares, just two. 

In the first one, he is always getting kidnapped, beaten up or worse.

Sometimes by his dad, other times by multiple people that he can’t even recognize.

The other one is about his mom and he knows it’s a memory, he just hears her voice screaming, telling him to run before the sickening sound of something dropping against the floor and the sound of cracking and it’s not like hearing a glass crack, it’s completely different, it’s stronger and harsher, it’s something that can’t be fixed with glue.

He has no idea of what that cracking sound might have been but a part of him feels like he doesn’t want to know.

Tonight, he dreamed of his mom and for the first time it wasn’t a nightmare.

He was at a beach that he couldn’t recognize, he doesn’t think he has ever been there before and there is no one there at first, he starts to look around and sees a girl standing a couple of feet away from him, happily letting her feet get wet. 

Boris doesn’t recognize her until she turns around to look at him and he sees her face. 

“Mamusia? Mama?” Boris asks, still unsure, he had never seen her hair so long or brushed. 

“Borya, my małe dzieko” she says crouching down on the sand, opening her arms. 

Boris walks towards her, his arms open, she doesn’t reach for him, she waits for him to hold her and it’s so different from how he remembers her, she used to grab him and hold him against her in a way that felt almost violent, sometimes when she was holding him, it felt like he couldn’t breathe but he was never bothered by it, he knew that it was how she showed affection and the only way to make sure that no one would take him away.

He knew that if she would have had a say, she would have never let anyone lay a hand on Boris. 

But she didn’t. 

She never did. 

He gets close to her but doesn’t try to hug her, he touches her boney shoulders and she cups his face, her touch is gentle and he leans into it, closing his eyes, he can feel the tears building up but he doesn’t know if it’s out of sadness of knowing this isn’t real or happiness of seeing her again. 

“Co robisz, Borya?” she asks him, he had forgotten how thick her voice sounded "no crying". 

She wipes his tears before she starts tickling him, he laughs loudly and when she wraps her arms around him, he tries to sniff her hair to see if it still has the bitter smell he was used to and had even learned to find comforting. 

But it’s too late. 

He wakes up.

Boris is surprised to find out that he had been crying in real life as well, he rubs his eyes wiping the tears away from his face desperately and he feels both relieved and disappointed that he didn’t wake Sirius up.

Sirius has his arms around him, basically cuddling him, his head on top of his, his mom used to do that too but she did it in a different way, it was out of fear like Boris wasn’t supposed to be there and someone was going to take him, Sirius is relaxed and holds him like this is just where he belongs and this is exactly where he is supposed to be. 

He puts his hand onto Sirius’s wrist, he thinks about pushing him away but instead he just holds and squeezes as he hears Sirius mumble something in his sleep, something about buying butter and a beer. 

Sirius talks in his sleep sometimes, most of the time what he says makes no sense and other times it’s not even in English or any language that Boris knows so he has no idea what he is talking about but it doesn’t bother him, he has heard far worse and louder noises in the middle of the night and managed to fall asleep again. 

Theo talked in his sleep as well, he cried too and when he would wake up in the middle of the night, he would scream, this blood curdling scream, full of fear and horror, he would look around the room like it was about to fall apart, Boris would take Popchyk and put him on Theo’s chest and would put his arm around him, it would take a couple of minutes but he would fall asleep again like nothing had happened. 

Sometimes he would fall asleep before Boris and then he would stay up playing with his hair or looking at his face, the next morning, if they woke up clutching at each other, Theo would always let go first. 

The only time he didn’t was the morning of the last day they spent together. 

Boris didn’t know that was going to be their last day, he thought that they would have a lot of days to come in the future, he definitely didn’t expect it to be when he woke up that morning, the sun was shining on his face, they had spent the night at the playground inside of the cubby, the two of them and Popchyk who would always sleep curled up on Boris’s head. 

Theo had his head on his shoulder, he looked up at him, Boris expected him to roll away like he always did but he didn’t, he just put his head against his shoulder again and Boris let the moment last for as long as he could, until they heard other voices of other younger kids that were probably there with their parents and the last thing they needed was someone getting on their business and calling the police because there were two kids alone that spent the night at the playground. 

The rest of the day was average, they shoplifted food for themselves and for Popchyk, they ate it, took the bus and then walked to Theo’s house, they were tired and needed to take showers. 

But that didn’t happen. 

They saw a police car parked in front of the house, Theo frowned, sounding like a disappointed father when he said _“I wonder what he got himself into now”._

His face completely changed when they made it through the door, Larry was nowhere to be seen but he could hear the voices of two women yelling at each other at the top of their lungs and a man trying to calm both of them down. 

Boris could recognize one of them was Xandra but couldn’t recognize the other voice until he followed Theo inside of the kitchen and then he saw her. 

Boris knew who she was right away, even if she looked different from the picture that Theo had shown him, her hair had been cut, now it was shoulder-length, instead of the picture where it got to her waist, he can see a scar at the top of her head, he thinks it might be bigger but her hair partly covers it and she is holding onto a cane, gripping into it, Boris is not sure if she is struggling to stay up or if she is just angry and gripping onto her cane in anger, since he can tell that she is definitely pissed, a part of him thinks that if they hadn’t walked in, she would have started hitting Xandra with it. 

He remembers standing there feeling frozen when he heard Theo say in a quiet baby voice that he had never heard before _“Mommy”._

She had turned around so quickly when she heard his voice that Boris had thought that she might have hurt her neck that way, he could now see the same light eyes that he saw everyday on Theo’s face, Boris had always thought that Theo looked more like his father, his hair is almost the same colour as his father and hey even make similar expressions, he never said it because he knew that Theo wouldn’t want to hear it.

He is glad that he didn’t because now he can tell that he looks so much like his mother and how beautiful she really is, he hadn’t noticed in the pictures but they have the same noses and he has her smile, there was just this giddiness and warmth affection as well as relief on their faces, their eyes becoming shiny like they were about to start crying but were determined not to.

_“Puppy”_ she says, her voice also quiet, clearly struggling to speak and not to cry but her voice breaks when she says _“my baby”._

Theo ran towards her and Boris saw her struggle but she managed to crouch down even if she ended up falling onto her knees, he saw a pained expression appear on her face when that happened but it disappeared the moment that Theo put his arms around her and they embraced each other. 

They didn’t break apart from each other for a long time and they only did it to look at each other, she held his face and put their foreheads together, he couldn’t really make out what they were saying, they were both speaking at the same time and somehow they were still able to understand each other, constantly nodding and wiping each other’s tears like they were both waking up of a nightmare that was finally over and Boris felt like his own was just starting. 

He wanted to be happy for Theo, he did, he really did, he wanted to be over the moon but instead he felt filled with dread and panic for many different reasons and a part of him wants to run like the coward that he is, to run as fast as he can but he doesn’t. 

Not really because he wants to make things right or because he wants to say goodbye. 

He has always hated goodbyes, that can’t be why.

Boris just wants to see at least a last glimpse of Theo this happy before he disappears forever, like so many other people that Boris has met in his life, he is sure that Theo will promise that he’ll write, probably the same way that he promised to his friend Andy and now they barely talk to each other, Boris isn’t judging that he isn’t good at staying in touch with friends, people always say that they’ll write and then they don’t and it’s normal. 

When Theo lets go of his mother, she kisses him on the forehead and whispers something, the first thing that Boris is able to understand. 

_“Go pack your things”_ She smiled sweetly _“I’ll be right here and then we can go home”._

Theo nodded eagerly before turning around so light and bouncy, Boris had never seen him like that and a part of him thought _This. This is how you should remember him._

_Before he walks away and shuts you out of his life forever, remember him like this._

Theo takes Boris by the arm taking him out of the living room and when they are about to walk down the hallway, Boris turns around and looks at Theo’s mother, still on her knees and just starting to get up, Xandra tries to offer her a hand but she pushes her away and finishes standing on her own and tells the forgotten police officer that the owner of the house had stolen from her while she was in a coma, when Xandra tries to defend him, saying something about how he needed the money and he didn’t think that she would make it, he sees her turn to look at her with a determined glare in her eyes as she said _“Clearly I did make it so he owes me money and you better tell him that he is going to pay me every single cent—”_

_ “You can wait for him, if you—”_

“I’m not going to wait for him, I’m done waiting, I’m here to take my son out of this shithole, there is no way in hell that I’m letting him spend another night in this place, he is dirty, he looks emaciated, he looks sick, his hands are calloused and he has marks of his face” she says clearly exasperated and sniffing, she was on the verge of crying, he didn’t know if it was out of sadness or out of anger, maybe both.

He doesn’t think it’s without reason, she is right, Theo looked completely different from what he looked like back then during their first day of school, he still remembers the first time he saw his round face with big cheeks that Boris wanted to touch and wearing an adorable sweater, he remembers just getting urge of talking to him and trying to make eye contact with him during the whole class, Theo looked cute, he still was but he had lost so much weight ever since he came to Las Vegas to the point that his round cheeks were now hollowed and his skin is bruised.

_“I don’t know who thought it was a good idea for Theo to stay with him”_ she says finally, her voice sounded more even but it sounded like she was struggling to stay calm.

Boris turns to look at Theo, looking for his reaction but he doesn’t even look like he has heard it, he just picks up Popchyk from the floor and hurries to his room, he looks too caught up on the happiness of knowing that he’ll be able to come back to New York, to think about anything else.

He starts to plan his goodbye when he closes the door, what he is going to say and how he is going to say it, how he is going to tell him what he has done and how he is going to apologize because he has to do it, he can’t keep a secret with a clean conscience but before he has even opened his mouth, Theo said _“ Pack your things”._

_What? _

Theo smiles, the biggest smile that Boris had ever seen, he looks giddy, meanwhile Boris feels the farthest thing from it _“Just the necessary stuff, leave enough things so that your dad won’t be able to tell that you are gone right away—”_

_“What?”_He asks bewildered, tilting his head like he hadn’t heard Theo perfectly just a second ago.

_“You are coming home with me”_ he says like it’s obvious, even if he sounds rushed, he takes the suitcase that he has under his bed and starts opening drawers _“I’m not leaving you here”. _

Boris stands there frozen for a second all he can think is _You are not?_

_“You are insane” _ he managed to say but Theo kept on packing his things, ignoring him like he hadn’t even spoken at all _ “We are leaving soon, my mom said that she is calling a cab, I don’t think we are taking a plane, we are taking the bus or maybe the train—”_

_ “I can’t go” _ he shakes his head, feeling anxious like he was going to be sick.

_ “Why? I think you have enough money for the ticket and when we get to New York, we’ll figure out the rest” _ Theo asks him, like there are no problems with his plan, they would need to identify Boris and he doesn’t have any of his documents and Theo’s mom won’t want him there, she is going to take one look at him and turn him away, why can’t he see that?

_“You can’t tell me that you want to stay because of your dad” _ Theo said dismayed his face scrunched up with rage and almost red _ “he should be in jail for what he does to you, he is a horrible person and an even worse father and—”_

_“I have to say goodbye to Kotku” _ he says knowing that this would bother him and would shut him up right away. 

Theo’s face doesn’t change, he is still angry and red, he only rolls his eyes _“Leave a love note at her doorstep and call it a day but don’t think that she is coming with us”. _

Boris snorted thinking about the idea of the three of them living together in New York, like that would ever happen without them killing each other_“Theo—” _

_“We’ll make a stop at her house when we leave, you can say goodbye then”_ He says exasperated _“just please go pack your—”_

_“There is something important that I have to tell you”_ he starts because this is the one way to kill two birds with one stone, he’ll tell Theo, he’ll hate him and then he’ll leave him and he’ll return the painting and it will be over.

_“Boris, what the motherfuck”_ he says sounding pissed, finally stopping from throwing things inside of the suitcase _“If you have something to say, just say it”._

_“I’m afraid that it will make you mad”. _

_ “What is it?” _ he says crossing his arm, frowning slightly _“What have you done?” _

Suddenly all the bravery he had disappeared and he couldn’t even speak, he just kept gnawing at the side of his thumb like a fucking stupid baby, he closed his eyes and braced himself for what he was about to admit but Theo didn’t let him finish, he asks in a quiet voice _“Don’t you want to come with me?” _

He made the mistake of opening his eyes and was met with Theo’s sad look, sometimes he wondered if Theo knew what he was doing, if he knew that he could get him to say yes to anything, just by looking at him like that, he didn’t want to see him like that, he would do anything to avoid it.

_“I’ll pack my things” _ he said on an impulse. 

_“Really? _” Theo responded, hopeful and happy.

_“Yes”_ he lied but that didn’t matter, when Theo would find out what he had done, it won’t matter, he’ll leave and he’ll hate him and Boris would have to learn to be okay with it.

He ran to his house, he grabbed an small bag that would work perfectly to hide Popchyk in the bus without anyone noticing it, he finally grabbed the painting that he had hid in the closet and put it inside of the bag, he made a decision to take one of his father’s jackets, one of the big ones that he didn’t use normally, he knew that Theo would be cold when he made it to New York, he hadn’t brought any of his coats and only one of his sweaters. 

Boris opened the closet and pulled the coat making a little black box fall from the closet, he picked it up and opened it, at first shocked that he hadn’t seen it in so long. 

He didn’t even think about putting it back and he still doesn’t know when he decided to give it to Theo, all he knows is that he put it inside of his back pocket and once he was in front of him, he gave it to Theo because it’s what it felt right. 

_“ What is this?”_ He said once he opened the box, taking the ring out and holding it, something that Boris hadn’t dared to do.

_“My mother’s wedding ring” he said looking at the ring in Theo’s hand “I want you to have it”._

_“I can’t take this”_ Theo said immediately, putting it back in its box like if he had just held something sacred that he should have never had in the first place and trying to push it back onto Boris hands but he took a step back. 

_“Yes”_ he said, pushing Theo’s hand away “You said your dad took all your mother’s jewelry and sold it, even her wedding ring, she probably has nothing now, you’ll need it”. 

_“You want me to give it to my mom?”_ he asked, his expression horrified like if Boris had given one of his mother’s teeth or something like that.

_“Sell it”_ he remembered his father mentioning how expensive it was, his mom had always said she loved it, he was surprised that she had been buried without it but then again, she was always taking it off.

_“Boris”_Theo said, shaking his head. 

_“It’s an apology” _ he said, even if he still isn’t sure if that’s true, was that what he was trying to do? to make up for taking Theo’s most prized possession by giving him the last thing that his mom had worn?

(There weren’t any clothes or any of her things, all had been left in Ukraine, she was there one moment and gone the next and all the proof that he had that she had ever existed was himself, a book and a couple of pictures.)

_“For what?”_ he asked, still confused with his hands on the box, looking at the bag and back at his face, Boris could see him realizing in that moment that he wasn’t coming with him.

For a moment he considers letting that be it and keeping the painting, he doesn’t know if it is because he knows it would be wrong to keep the painting or because he knows he would get caught in an airport somewhere, he opens the bag and lets the painting fall in front of Theo on top of the bed, it makes no noise and it’s light but somehow the sound it makes when it falls on the bed feels heavy. 

_“This”_he points at it for good measure. 

Theo did not respond, he just stared at it, his face was so pale, he thought he was going to faint any minute now, he could see his eyes widening, he thought he was going to scream at him, punch him in the face and he was ready to take it, he deserved it.

_ “How…”_ he asked without looking away from the painting, he didn’t know if he had wanted to ask “How dare you?” or “How did you do it?” or “How did you know?”

_ “You told me you had it”_ he still doesn’t know why he started there.

_ “No, I didn’t,”_Theo said outraged, turning to look at him, he was so much shorter than him but the intensity of the words made Boris take a step back.

_“We got drunk with your dad’s beer, we were watching a movie...about a heist, can’t remember name—”_

_“No, that never happened”_ he crossed his arms shaking his head, taking things out of the suitcase to put the painting at the bottom.

_“Yes, it did, you just drank too much and when you do you don’t remember things you do, it happens to my dad all the time, it’s fine”_ he regrets saying that immediately because it gets him a cold death glare from Theo _“you were ranting and you wouldn’t let me watch the movie and you went to your room and then you showed it to me and I felt like an idiot because there I was teaching how to steal apples and you—”_

_“I DIDN’T STEAL IT”_ he said through gritted teeth _“I saved it, YOU stole it” _.

_“Fine, whatever makes you feel better,”_ he said, earning himself what happened next. 

_“Fuck you”_ Theo said before shoving him as hard as he could, it wasn’t a lot but it was still enough to make him fall, it didn’t hurt much, he had had far worse and he won’t allow himself to be sad, this is what he wanted after all.

Theo offered his hand to help him stand up, clearly apologetic, his face was red, he wasn’t sure if it was in anger or in shame but Boris didn’t take it, not because he wanted him to feel bad but because he deserved it, he stood up on his own and shrugged dismissively, it wasn’t a big deal, he deserved far worse for what he had done. 

Popchyk walks towards him, putting his paw up like when he wanted him to hold him, he looked into his owlish eyes and decided that holding him one last time wouldn’t hurt, he sniffed his fur knowing that he probably wouldn’t be able to do it again and trying to memorize the smell. 

_“You are not coming, are you?”_ Theo asked again, his voice flat like he was saying I’m not going to beg you to come with me but his eyes told a very different story. 

_“You still want me to?”_ he asks surprised, a little laugh escaping him somewhat relieved that this in some way meant that Theo didn’t hate him. 

Theo wavered before showing him the already packed suitcase _“I found some clothes that you left here and I put it in the suitcase already so you don’t even have to go to your house again”._

_“I did something horrible”_ he said like he hadn’t confessed already _“I stole from you”._

He wanted to point at the painting but it had been covered by their clothes already.

_“You gave it back”_ he tells him before putting the box with the wedding ring inside of the suitcase and closing it _“You apologized”._  
Boris shakes his head, he hadn’t even said _I’m sorry once._

_“What?”_ he asks, Boris only shakes his head again and Theo sighs, sounding both dejected and exasperated as he said _“Come home with me”_.

Boris couldn’t help to think but _I am home, in our room, with our bed, with our dog.___

_ __“We were just talking about running away together yesterday”_._ _

_ __“That’s different”_ He said, crossing his arms, it was supposed to be just them, not them and Theo’s mom, she won’t want him there _“It was L.A. to the beach”_._ _

_ __“There are beaches in New York too” _ Theo says, as if it was really about that _“There is this one called Brighton, where all the Russians hang out at”. _ _ _

_ _Boris smiles, he couldn’t help it, Had Theo thought about this? About places that he wanted to take him if they came back to New York?_ _

_ __“I’m not kidding, there is this huge Russian community there” _he says with an exaggerated frown clearly trying to remember something _“There are these restaurants that serve smoked fish and sturgeon roe” _._ _

_ __“Is it good?” _ he asks, hating how tempted he sounds right now, he wasn’t sure if it was about the food or about the idea of going there with Theo._ _

_ __“No idea, I have never been” _ he admitted letting out a nervous laugh “this jeweler my mom worked with told her the good places to go but we never did, it’s supposed to be great”._ _

_ __“I hope it is”_ he said, suddenly picturing them together at the restaurant _“Maybe I can go in a couple of days”_._ _

_ __“You have to come now” _ Theo says, his voice sounded like he was about to cry _“You can’t say no”.__ _

_ __“I’m not saying no,”_ he said, even if that’s exactly what he had been saying for the last few minutes _“I’m saying that I’ll go...just later”_. _ _

_ __“If you don’t come...then when will I see you again_” it didn’t feel like a question, it felt like a cold fact that if he didn’t then this would be the last time that they would see each other. _ _

_ __“Maybe we could”_ he tilts his head, reaching for Theo’s hand but pulling back last minute._ _

_ __“How?”_Theo asks sadly, he looks confused but hopeful like Boris was going to give him a clear answer._ _

_ __“I don’t know”_ he admits but wouldn’t it be nice to think that they could._ _

_ __“Boris I can’t stay here” _ He said like Boris didn’t know that already, he wasn’t expecting Theo to stay, he never expects anyone to do it _“I don’t have any family, no friends—”__ _

_ __“ME! YOU HAVE ME!”_ Boris yelled, feeling like Theo had punched him in the face, was he nothing to him, when he considered Theo his family, his friend, his—_ _

_ _Whatever, that didn’t matter now._ _

_ __“And what are you going to do? Adopt me?”_ he asks him making him feel useless _“If you come with me—”__ _

_ __“I can’t,”_ he said, shaking his head._ _

_ __“You can go to my school,” _ Theo continued, the idea of that made Boris laugh, shaking his head, he can’t even picture himself at Theo’s private school with uniforms that he bets Theo used to look adorable in but that just wouldn’t fit Boris right _“No, listen you totally can, I have a scholarship...well, I had one...you could get one too, you are so smart—”__ _

_ __“I wouldn’t last a day there, I would get expelled for punching fucking Tom Cable right in his stupid face” _ he said making Theo laugh even if he was cleaning the tears streaming down his face. _ _

_ _Boris reached for his face and wiped his tears away but once he was done, he wasn’t able to let go of it, he knew he should have pulled away but he kept his hands there._ _

_ __“You can go to public school, we could go together”_Theo insists making Boris realize that he was willing to change his plans for him, no one had ever done that _“I have never been but I have friends that go to public school—”__ _

_ __“Theo”_ he said, his voice came out broken and he felt like he was going to start crying as well, he holds his face to the point that he is squishing his cheeks and Theo is just looking up at him, his eyes are glassy and he realizes how close they have gotten to each other, their faces are too close, his noses could touch if Boris would lean in a little bit and if he did it a little bit more, they could—_ _

_ __“I’m sure my mother wouldn’t mind and you can stay in my room, we can share it just like this one”_ Theo continues with a hopeful look in his eyes _“You have to come, promise me, PROMISE—”__ _

_ _Boris leans close enough so that their noses touch, Theo stops talking then and Boris wants him to push him away like he did a few minutes ago, to look at him disgusted and tell him to get off and ask him what the fuck is he doing. _ _

_ _He just wants him to stop saying the right thing, to stop making say no so hard. _ _

_ _Theo doesn’t do any of these things, he just keeps looking at him, he thinks that might have been the moment when he decided to kiss him, it wasn’t because this was his last chance, it’s not because he is never going to see him, it’s not because he had wanted to kiss him for a while now, he decided a long time ago that it doesn’t matter that Theo doesn’t love him back because he is still his best friend who he had spent the best year of his life with._ _

_ _He does it because it’s the only thing that he knows that will stop Theo insisting him to come and be comfortable leaving him behind, even if he ends up hating him for it, he is okay with Theo hating him, the same way he is okay with Theo not loving him because he knows he loves Theo and for someone like Boris, that’s enough._ _

_ _Boris takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and presses his lips against Theo’s. _ _

_ _It only lasts a second and then he pulls away but it’s only to pull Theo into a final hug that he expected Theo to reject but he didn’t do anything to stop him or push him away, he had expected to feel the stillness of Theo’s body, for his muscles to tense, contracting and coiling the way they did for a second every time that Boris would hug him,it happened every time before returning the hug but neither of those things happen, Theo didn’t feel tense and he didn’t hug him. _ _

_ _He pushes himself away and he looks at Theo, expecting to see his eyes wide and scared and see his hands trembling before they turned into fists and knocked his teeth out._ _

_ _But he doesn’t look like that and he doesn’t attempt to throw a punch. _ _

_ _His face is red, even his ears, he had never seen that happen before, he doesn’t try to run either, his face is just confused like he doesn’t understand what Boris has just done and what he is supposed to do now. _ _

_ _Popchyk barked looking up at him and then whined like he knew exactly what was happening, he hugged him again and kissed him on the top of his head._ _

_ __“Bye, Popchyk” _ he closed his eyes focusing on the smell, trying to remember it and keep the memory clear in his head, he kissed the tip of his nose before turning to Theo who hadn’t moved _“Look after him, will you?” __ _

_ _He puts Popchyk down on the bed once again and started to walk away when he felt Theo’s hand around his arm pulling him back as hard as he can and he expects to be punched in the face but Theo doesn’t do that, he just gripping his hand as hard and tight as he can like that is going to keep him there and he looks mournful like Boris might as well be dead in that moment._ _

_ _Boris stared at him and all he could think of was_Ask me again. __ _

_ __Ask me again._ _ _

_ __Do it please, I’m—I’ll say the right thing this time. _ _ _

_ _ _Just please ask me again._ _ _

_ _But Theo doesn’t. _ _

_ _He lets go of his arm and puts his arms around himself like he was bracing himself for what is to come._ _

_ __“Take care”_ Boris said finally before turning around. _ _

_ _Theo didn’t say anything. _ _

_ __“I won’t forget you” _ he added because it was true, he would never be able to forget about Theo._ _

_ _He left through the front door, he expected to still hear the argument that Xandra and Audrey had been having but it seems like things have turned civil, they are sitting down on the couch quietly talking, Audrey is drinking a cup of what he can assume is tea, her hands are shaking and Xandra is drinking a beer straight from the bottle, they look completely bizarre together and he has no idea what they could possibly have in common but Boris knows that’s what people at school thought of Theo and him. _ _

_ _Boris can see Xandra looking at him for a moment but before she can say anything, he runs out and hides at a neighbor’s house in their lawn, he doesn’t worry about anyone seeing him there because the lights are off meaning that there is no one home, he hides behind the tall bushes and waits a couple of minutes before he sees the cab arrive, Audrey comes out first, Xandra walking behind her, he doesn’t hear what she says but he sees her give her a piece of paper and shrug. _ _

_ _(He found out later that was her telephone number and address, Boris had copied it in a piece of paper and he kept it inside of his money jar.) _ _

_ _Theo walked out of the house in that moment, he is wearing the coat Boris had brought, he has the bag too, Popchyk is inside of it, Audrey looks at it and then back at Theo and then turns to Xandra but she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand and in that moment she nods and sighs before gently ruffling Popchyk’s hair. _ _

_ _For a moment he can see Theo looking around but then returns his attention to Audrey who kisses Theo’s head before looking at the coat and fixing the collar._ _

_ _They get inside of the cab and it drives away, Boris watches it until it’s no longer visible, he felt like he was going to cry but he didn’t. _ _

_ _He stood up and prepared himself to make his way back home, when he heard_“HEY!”__ _

_ _He turned around to see Xandra was still there too, staring at him from her lawn, clearly about to smoke but quickly threw the cigarette into the ground and put it out by stepping on it _ “Come over here” __ _

_ __“Yes, Mrs.Decker?” _ he asked confused. _ _

___ “Do you want to stay here?” _ she asked, it sounded forced, she crossed her arms as she waited for his answer, she looked uncomfortable like this wasn’t something that she was used to doing or maybe she didn’t want to do it all but felt obligated to for some reason _“Only for tonight, you have to go back to your house tomorrow, I don’t want any problems with your family”._

Boris nods eagerly and follows her back inside of the house, she pat him in the back, it felt like an awkward attempt of comforting, she walked to her room, closed the door and turned on the T.V., Boris almost asked her if he could lay next to her and watch TV with her but he didn’t.

He went for Theo’s bedroom and sat on the unmade bed, the place looked empty, only loose change on the bedside table and loose change on the floor, he kicked his shoes off and laid on the bed and held the sheets that still had Popchyk’s fur on them and put it close to his face because he knew that it still smelled like Theo.

His hair smelled like the shampoo they used to share and... it’s so fucking stupid but coming back to the present, next to Sirius, thinking that now both of them are using different brands and that he has no idea what he is using or what he smeels like now makes him break down the same way he did that night. 

Boris tries to stop himself from crying or at least to cry as silently as he can, after all Xandra never heard him cry that night but she was in a different room and Sirius is right next to him, he tries to shut up and tries to clean the tears with his hands as fast as he can but he ends up rubbing his eyes too hard and that makes things worse, he feels Sirius pull him closer as he asks “Boris, are you okay?”

He felt Sirius’s hand slowly move as if blindly looking for his face and wiping the tears gently, he only sniffed in response.

“Did you have a nightmare?” he asks, he sounds groggy like he hadn’t fully woken up yet but somehow he still sounds worried, he stirs a little bit before saying “I’m going to turn on the light, is that okay?”

At first Boris thinks it’s okay but the moment Sirius starts to pull away from him, he flips in Sirius’s arms and puts his arms around him, buries his face in his neck and sniffs his hair, he is not sure why he does that, he won’t find the bitter smell that he had learned to find comfort in, he knows that Sirius doesn’t smell like his mother.  
Sirius smells right, he always does especially in the morning, he smells of cologne, old spice lotion, ivory soap and a little bit of the strong coffee that he makes himself every morning to fully wake himself up. 

Boris breathes in deep.

He doesn’t know what type of soap or shampoo his mother used but she had never smelled like this, he had learned to find comfort in the smell of alcohol because he knew what she liked to drink. 

His father liked to drink too but he doesn’t think of him when he smells alcohol, he thinks of him when he smells blood. 

He didn’t smell like Sirius either, he doesn’t know what type of lotion his father used or what type of soap and his hugs never felt the same way Sirius’s did, the few times he had hugged him, Boris felt trapped and Sirius’s embrace is nothing like that, it’s reassuring, strong, comforting, capable, all the things that he never had.

Sirius felt like a strange safe haven that Boris hasn’t quite learned to get used to yet but he was learning to, it is strange because for the first time he knows that if he went to him, he would hold him.

“It’s okay,” Sirius says, managing to somehow hold him tighter “I’m here”.

Boris rests his head against his shoulder, eyes closed as they sit there in the dark and he keeps on crying brokenly, not even sure about what anymore.

“I’m sorry” he says, even if he is not sure if he is apologizing for waking him up or for not letting go when he wanted to turn on the light, all he knows is that he has to pull away soon because his nose is going to start to run soon and he doesn’t want Sirius to be disgusted by him but when he tries to pull away, Sirius doesn’t let him.

“Don’t apologize,” he says rubbing his back. 

“I really need to blow my nose” he says bluntly this time. 

Sirius still doesn’t pull back completely, he just whispers the magic word and a box of tissues is suddenly in his hand, he cleaned his face and helped him to blow his nose, Boris didn’t know how to feel about it but he lets it happen, it doesn’t bother him, it's just strange, Boris is used to being the one comforting people.

“Do you want a glass of water?” Sirius asks him after throwing away the tissues.

“I’m fine” he insists rubbing his eyes “I just want to go back to sleep”.

He expects them to readjust to the old position but instead they fall back with Boris’s arms around Sirius’s neck, it’s not the most comfortable position but he doesn’t want to let go, they stay like that for a while and neither of them says anything.

“If there is something wrong, you can tell me” Sirius whispers too softly like he is worried that he is going to wake him up.

“Not wrong, I’m just sad” Boris responds, closing his eyes “I get like this sometimes”.

He feels unsatisfied with his own answer but it is the truth and if Sirius wants to sign up to be his dad or whatever, then he has to know that this is going to happen. 

“It’s okay” he responds, yawning “I get like that too”. 

“You do?” Boris asks him surprised, he couldn’t imagine Sirius crying in the middle of the night because he is sad.

“Yeah, sometimes” he responds flatly but it helps Boris to feel less alone. 

He closes his eyes and breathes deeply again and before he knows it, he has fallen asleep. 

-.-.-.-

When Boris wakes up the next morning, he feels a lot better, this time he was able to sleep peacefully and he didn’t have any nightmares, but he doesn’t try to move at all because he feels Sirius massaging his scalp with his fingertips and running his fingers through his hair, he wants him to keep doing it and he thinks he might stop if he knows he is up. 

They stay like that for a while, Boris is about to start to drift off to sleep again when they hear the main door open, Boris felt Sirius tense immediately and when Boris tried to sit up to see who it was, Sirius held him like he didn’t want him to go until they heard James’s familiar voice say “Sirius? Are you up?” 

Sirius let him go and let out a sigh of relief before patting him in the shoulder as a gesture that meant that they had to get out of bed, Boris got out of bed and lazily stretched his arms, the door of the room opened partially and Boris sees Lily’s head, she had braided her hair today. 

“Good morning” she says brightly “see, James I told you that they would be up by now”. 

“That’s one way of saying that you woke us up” Sirius responds, sounding slightly annoyed. 

“We brought breakfast” Lily says brightly “James is getting everything ready, come on now”. 

“We are going,” Sirius says before yawning. 

Boris followed them to the kitchen, James says, cheerfully setting the table “Good morning you two”. 

“Morning” Sirius yawns and goes to make himself a cup of coffee, while Boris waves lamely, still feeling slightly sleepy. 

“Oh lighten up” James says happily “after all you two made it into the newspaper”.

Boris frowns confused, he doesn’t understand what James is talking about but he is not excited about being in the newspaper, he has been in there before when his dad was arrested, of course they didn’t mention him by name, they only referred to him as the son and would write about how he had been abused, some stories were accurate, others not so much, he had to admit he had found it slightly amusing when he read that he was battling for his life in the hospital, when he was at the orphanage. 

People lie about the weirdest things. 

“Oh right, I forgot about that” Sirius says, his tone of voice is blunt like he doesn’t know how to feel about it, his expression is blank and Boris swears he has gone pale, he takes a sip of coffee and sits down next to him. 

“How could you forget?” Lily asks him dismayed. 

“I just did” he shrugs defensively “I asked for it to be sent to the Daily Prophet the exact day that I got the birth announcement, it’s been weeks ever since”.

Lily rolls her eyes and shakes her head but she hurries to take the newspaper from her bag and picks an exact page before passing it to them, Sirius holds it and his blank expression changes into a comfortable smile before putting his arm around Boris and pulling him closer so that he can take a look.

There is a birth announcement section, it’s one of the pictures from their photoshoot, they are both hugging from the side and smiling, it’s easy to find, they stick out like a sore thumb, it’s the only one that doesn’t include a baby and the only that doesn’t move, he wonders for a second if that bothers Sirius, not the part about sticking out, he thinks Sirius is the type of person that is used to being different, but if it’s showing him something that he is missing or that he wants, he knows that people like babies the best.

He looks at him to study his expression and sees him smile pleasantly until his eyes widen and he says “Oh fuck, I completely forgot about picking up the rest of the pictures”.

“Sirius!!” Lily and James say in unison. 

“I know, I have to call them,” Sirius says, before taking another sip of his coffee.

“No, not that” Lily says, as James gestured towards Boris.

Sirius didn’t reply, he only gives Boris a conspiratorial look almost if he was saying _Can you believe these two?_

Boris laughs, Lily shakes her head and James sighs resignedly but he is smiling too, so he is not worried that he is angry, Lily rolls her eyes before asking him “So are you excited about today?”

“Sure” Boris says with a shrug, even if he has no idea what she is referring to exactly, they probably made plans with them so they’ll spend the day together “What are we doing today?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t tell you last night, you fell asleep, Lily wants us to go rollerskating today” Sirius explains ruffling his hair “but if you don’t want to go today, it’s fine”.

“I want to go” he says nodding eagerly, Sirius smiles at him before turning back at Lily and James “Great, then after breakfast, we’ll get ready and go”.

James starts to serve them breakfast, he apparently woke up in a mood to make banana bread and mango juice, Boris is not sure how someone can wake up in a mood like that but he is not complaining, it tastes really good and he hears how James says that the one his mum makes is way better and that Boris has to try it someday, Boris doesn’t think that it is possible to be better but he won’t argue with him, before they stand up.

Lily does imply that she has a surprise for Boris after they get out of the roller rink, he only says that he looks forward to it, he thinks it might have something to do with the old bike she had mentioned before and he is nervous about riding a bike but he is not worried and he is actually a little excited, he didn’t even do that with Theo because he was too afraid of dropping him but he thinks that Lily is strong enough to hold the bike and teach him, and there is also the fact that Sirius is there. 

Boris doesn’t know if he knows how to ride a bike or not but his presence does make him feel safe, to say the least, even if he still feels weird about letting him take care of him, Doctor Green told him it was normal for him to feel that way because he is not used to it and that it going to take some time for him to, he remembers the gentle way he said _“And there is nothing wrong with that, you’ll get there eventually and you just need time. _

Dr.Green also said that it was a good sign that he liked being taken care of by Sirius, that he should continue letting him take care of him in any way that he is comfortable with, he wouldn’t be comfortable with letting him changing his clothes or bathing him, it would make him feel like a little kid or a baby but he doesn’t mind Sirius brushing his hair because he is better at getting strands untangled and smoothed out and Boris never liked brushing his hair, sometimes when the tangles and the knots would be too much, he would just cut it with some scissors and call it a day.

After changing, he knocks on his door and Sirius opens it immediately, he is pretty much ready, he only has to put his shoes and jacket on, Boris doesn’t ask for him to brush his hair, he just offers Sirius a brush and he is happy that he just takes it and proceeds to brush it once Boris is sitting down on the chair. 

When he is done, Sirius takes a look at him before saying “You need a scarf, it’s cold out”.

Boris doesn’t think it’s that cold out but Sirius is already walking towards his closet “I have one that will go perfectly with what you are wearing”.

He stands there and sees Sirius take out a couple of jackets before pulling out a box and then taking out a red and gold scarf, he recognizes it from Sirius’s high school pictures, it doesn’t look the same as it did on the pictures, it looks worn-out but not damaged and he lets Sirius put it on him but he adjusts it himself. 

“Do you like it?” Sirius asks him, Boris doesn’t even need to look at the mirror, he just nods, he knows he likes it.

Sirius grins and offers his hand and Boris takes it as they walk to the living room. 

-.-.-.-

Boris is excited when he sees that Remus and Peter are there already waiting for them. 

Well, if he has to be completely honest, he is mostly happy that Remus is there, he doesn’t mind Peter but he feels like everytime he sees him, his smile is nervous and forced, he doesn’t know if it’s because he is not used to him yet or because he doesn’t want him there.

Remus is the opposite, his smile when he sees Boris looks genuine and he always looks so surprised by how happy Boris is to see him and until now he has always looked caught off guard when Boris goes to hug him but now he just opens his arms like he is already expecting it, maybe even looking forward to it. 

Sirius lets go of his hand then and Boris knows he won’t be mad at him so he runs towards Remus and pulls him into a hug, he feels how he considers to pick him up but ultimately decides not to and instead ruffles his hair affectionately, Peter greets him too but he doesn’t touch him, Boris doesn’t mind, he might just not like hugs.  
When Sirius, James and Lily catch up to them, he hears James whispering “I can’t send a letter, that’s bullshit”.

“That’s what I thought” Sirius replies, clearly frustrated “but that’s what she said, that families can’t do it, no parents, no siblings, they might be biased”.

“Do I count?” Lily asks pointing at herself “I mean I’m not a direct family member and I’ve known you for longer than five years, I’ll even throw in a couple of insults, so they know I’m not biased”.

Before Sirius could respond, Peter asks “What are you talking about?”

“My social worker says that I need some recommendation letters from people that can say that I am a good person and fit to be a parent but it cannot come from family members” Sirius explains quickly, clearly a little stressed but then he looks at Boris and his expression softens, Boris can’t help but to smile and lean against his arm as Sirius says “Which reminds me, would—”

“Of course, we would,” Peter says with a delighted smile. 

“Consider it done” Remus says nodding. 

“Thank you” Sirius says letting out a sigh of relief before looking back at Lily “also I actually don’t know about that, I’ll have to call her”.

Lily nods in understanding and pats him in the shoulder, James still looks a little sad, like he wanted to write it but still he smiles and tells the group not to worry about paying because he has it covered.

When they walk inside, Remus takes off his gloves and Boris sees his hands, he had noticed some scars before when he was at the playground but he was far away and he tried not to stare too much because he could tell that it made him uncomfortable by the way he quickly put his hands in his pockets, he could also tell that there were more by the way he pulled his sleeves down. 

Boris knows because he has done that too, he is actually quite good at hiding scars, injuries and bruises, he has learned that a big part of the hiding is just acting like they are not even there, or like they aren’t a big deal even if it hurts, but it doesn’t seem like Remus can do that. 

He catches him staring again and before he puts his hands in his pockets, Boris offers to hold his hand, Remus smiles before taking it, his hand is raspy but he doesn’t mind, he was always trying to hold hands with Theo and his hands were even calloused at one point, he also likes holding hands with Sirius, he hadn’t always liked holding hands with adults, he held hands with his mom but he couldn’t say that he liked it, her hands weren’t raspy but she had an iron tight grip that made his hand hurt sometimes when she would pull him towards her when he tried to walk away or wander off, it’s different with Sirius, the way he holds his hand is firm but gentle.

Sometimes he feels bad for comparing them so much because it’s not like he is comparing Sirius to Remus (his hands are bigger but his grip is light and careful, like he is afraid of hurting Boris by accident, he doesn’t know how that could happen though, it’s not like he has long nails, he clearly bites them, Boris is not judging him, he does it too) because Remus is here and his mother is gone and sometimes she feels more like a distant memory than anything else and Sirius is not a memory, he is right here and she isn’t and as she would like to say _it is what it is, if you can’t change it, move on._

So that is what he is doing, he is moving on.

It’s what he always does.

James comes back with the tickets and guides them to pick up the rollerskates, these ones are better than the ones he had in Las Vegas, it’s in better condition too but again he paid like five dollars for it, he bets that this ticket is more expensive than that. 

Sirius helps him to get inside of the rink, he does it with ease, Peter is clumsy but he doesn’t fall and Remus looks comfortable, not in his element but he handles himself well, James is holding Lily’s hands and trying to make sure she won’t fall. 

Boris lets go of Sirius in that moment and goes towards Lily so they can start, at first he thinks that James might be doing a bit and he is just exaggerating how much help she actually needs but he is wrong. 

“How long has it been since you did this for the last time?” Boris asks her, she sort of grimaces. 

“Eight, maybe nine years, I only tried for one summer” Lily explains while trying to keep some sort of balance “like I said I was trying to connect with my sister and she used to do this all day with her friends and I tried to join them”. 

“It didn’t go well” Boris guesses, she nods. 

“She told everyone I was an exchange student, really funny” she says with a strange laugh, like a part of her did find it funny but she was still hurt by it. 

“Oh” he says making a face “that must have hurt”. 

“Not as much as falling on a bush” she admits laughingly “James tried to teach me a couple of years ago but that didn’t work either, Sirius will show you the pictures later, I’m sure”.

“Probably” he tells her, taking her hands to help her to stabilize “So you and your sister just don’t talk anymore?” Like Sirius and his relatives minus Andromeda.

“Oh no” she shakes her head “we still talk but we are not close”.

“Was it always like that?” Boris asks, he has no idea what having a sibling would be like, at this point, he thinks it’s probably awful, he has never heard of anyone that gets along with their siblings, not even Theo’s friend Andy does that and the kid looks like he won’t put up a fight if you steal his food, he finds it hard to imagine having a problem with him. 

“No, it wasn’t always” she says with a slight frown “we grew apart after I got into Hogwarts”. 

“Oh like you two stopped writing to each other?” Boris asks, that happens, everyone stops writing eventually. 

“No, we still wrote, specially during my first years but...well, we had some issues even before that, it really started when I was nine and I became friends with Snape” she says that part with anger but he knows it’s not directed at him, it’s more like she is getting an unwelcome glimpse of a past that she found agonizing. 

“Who is Snape?” he asks curiously. 

“A friend I used to have” she tells him, a somewhat sad expression on her face. 

“I’m so sorry” he says realizing what she was talking about, what did people say in situations like this...what was the word “my bad, no wait, my consolation...no, that’s not, is it condolences?”

She looks at him confused and then her eyes widen and she shakes her head “No, no, no, he is very much alive, he is just dead to me”. 

“Oh” he says, he is not sure what to answer to that, should he say sorry? Or congratulations for getting rid of them? He decides to go for the second one “Oh good for you, was he an asshole?”

“Yes” Lily says, nodding politely but sounding bitter “it took me a while to realize it but yes”.

“Is he the reason why you stopped talking to your sister? Or talking less?” he asks her, she almost shakes her head but her expression becomes thoughtful “I just meant because you said you two started having issues since he became your friend”.

She opens her mouth and closes it again like she is thinking hard about what she wants to say, Boris waits for her and takes her hands as they start to move, she doesn’t fall this time even if her movement isn’t smooth. 

“Well, that’s true, he never liked her because she didn’t have magic and I probably should have realized how he was like sooner” she starts with a sour expression on her face, as they keep moving “but I didn’t pick him over her, it was a complicated situation”.

“Most things usually are” he tells her, she smiles at him, she looks somewhat glad that that is his response “So when did you realize that he was an asshole?”

“Well, we were friends since we were nine and we stopped being friends when we were fifteen, our friendship started to become strained because he was hanging out with people who thought that muggleborns like me were scum and for a very long time I managed to convince myself that he was a good person and he was still the same boy I met when I was nine” Lily says, sounding a little uneasy, Boris is already regretting asking the question, feeling like maybe she didn’t wanted to talk about him but she had already started and stopping her now wouldn’t be good “Who knows? Maybe he had been like this all along and I didn’t realize it”.

“He probably changed” he says, even if he is unsure of why that would be more comforting, he just doesn’t want her to think that she had been so attached to someone who had been like that all along and he knows how easy it is to convince yourself that someone is good when they aren’t.

“Yeah, he changed a lot” She nods almost absentmindedly “by the time we were fifteen, he didn’t have a problem calling anyone else a mudblood and my other friends didn’t understand why I was even friends with him and I tried to convince them too, that he was a good person, that he hadn’t had an easy life, and that he was going to come around eventually and I really believed he would but... it was becoming harder to ignore what path he was going to follow and one day when he called me a mudblood, in front of a whole crowd too, that was just the straw that broke the camel’s back and I couldn’t pretend that he was going to change back anymore”.

“I get that” Boris says nodding, even if he doesn’t, pretending always comes easy to him and he is good at ignoring things too. 

But Lily must pick up on it because her expression changes and she says “Sorry, I didn’t think, I should have asked first if Sirius explained that to you yet, do you know what mudblood means?”

“Oh no, he did” Boris says quickly “he said it is a slur, something bigots say because they think they are better than muggleborns for being pureblood and that muggleborns don’t belong, and it's a horrible thing no one should say”.

Lily looks thoughtful again and she says “That is basically correct, except unfortunately it isn’t limited to purebloods, there are even halfbloods who think those things and use that slur too... I would know, Snape is one of them”.

He doesn’t remember Sirius mentioning halfbloods. But then there is probably a lot about the magical world that Sirius hasn’t gotten around to explaining. “Are halfbloods... part pureblood and part muggleborn?” 

“That is a good guess, the answer is sort of, halfbloods are any witches or wizards who have partly wizarding background and partly muggle. Most witches and wizards are halfbloods actually”.

“So... Snape has nonmagical family and he is still prejudiced? Damn, he must really not like his family then”. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, Sirius feels that way about his family, but then that’s because Sirius doesn’t want to be a bigot like the rest of his family, which sounds like the opposite of this Snape.

“His mother was a pureblood and his father was a muggle, and he never had a good relationship with his father, his father wasn’t... the best, I think that’s where it started, that’s also what I used to make excuses for him to my other friends about, that he had a hard life, that he was just hurting over his father”. Then her expression darkens. “But even if that’s true, that is no excuse for taking it out on others who had nothing to do with it, and that’s what he did... almost certainly still does”.

Boris nods in understanding again, it was always hard for him to admit that there are no excuses, he is used to making excuses for everyone and himself, he used to make excuses for his father to Theo and himself. 

He never bought it but again, Theo wouldn’t even make excuses for his own father. 

But again, even Theo admitted that at first he made excuses for Tom Cable, the boy who got him suspended and then after he found out that his mother was in a coma, he ignored him, when he was the reason that they were there in the first place and then on top of that he just ditched Theo, the fucking idiot didn’t even try to make things right with him. 

Boris... had wanted to make things right with Theo. 

Of course he can’t now but... he still wants to.

Lily stumbles again, taking him out of his thoughts, and he barely keeps her from falling, he is surprised that she lets out a small laugh, she sounds amused and slightly relieved as they keep moving “that was close?”

“Yeah” he responds, surprised by how slow they are moving, he saw a six year old pass them by but he doesn’t point it out to Lily “did he ever apologize?” 

She grimaces. “More like a non-apology. I mean, he did try to say sorry, but it was clear he was only sorry he said it to me, not sorry for using the word at all. I even outright asked him about how if he used that term for anyone else like me, then why was I any different, and if he was still planning to join the Death Eaters, and he didn’t answer either, which, if you were there, it was as good as confirmation. That was when I knew that we were over”. She sighs. “He’s almost certainly a Death Eater now”.

Boris doesn’t know what to respond to that at first, all he can really think about is if all of those assholes had a connection with someone in this group, next thing he knows he might find out that Remus had a cousin in the group or something like that.

“Well, good thing you got rid of him” he says, making her snort.

They keep rollerblading for a while and it’s going well until Lily actually slips and falls and Boris can’t stop it but it’s not that bad, she is even laughing while trying and failing to stand up, finally she is able to when James and Remus reach to help her out, Sirius attempts to do the same but every time he makes eye contact with Lily they both crack up and that causes Lily to fall again.

After that they decide it’s time to go, Lily says that her parents had invited them to eat at their place since they had heard the happy news, it takes a second for Boris realize that the happy news is him, they all agree to go almost right away with the exception of Peter who has be convinced to go by James.  
Once they are outside, Boris takes Sirius’s hand as they try to remember where they are supposed to take the bus, that’s when Boris hears a familiar voice, he turns around, trying to find where it’s coming from. 

That’s when he sees her and at first he doesn’t recognize her, her clothes are very different from how she dresses herself when they hang out with Myriam, right now she is wearing a knit blue sweater and brown pants, instead of the all black outfits that she would pick normally. But even with different clothes, it is still Shirley T.

Of course, now that he thinks about it, maybe these are Shirley T’s normal clothes, when they go out at night, she tries to make herself look more intimidating, that didn’t come naturally to her like it did with Myriam, she doesn’t have that edge, Shirley T is a baby faced teenager with curly blonde hair and big blue eyes that make her look like a porcelain doll and the fact that the only other person that she is with during those nights is an eleven year old doesn’t help her.

Besides selling with him, Shirley T also sneaks into rich people’s houses, sometimes if they had time, they could take the car out for a ride before leaving it right back where they found it, she had always said that they couldn’t take anything big or they’ll notice, she’ll always tell him to look for cash but usually he wasn’t inside, he was the lookout and and whenever either one of them could hear anyone coming, they would whistle “On The Good Ship Lollipop” by Shirley Temple. 

It’s her favorite song, that’s part of the reason for her nickname, the other one is her face.

In that moment he whistles the song and he sees Shirley T frown slightly before looking at him and even then she doesn’t recognize him right away, it takes a second but the moment she does, she just runs towards him and basically kneels on the floor to pull him into a tight hug. 

“Aleksander!” he hears someone say and he looks over Shirley T’s shoulder and hears Shirley T whispering _shit._

He doesn’t need to be told that the woman with dulled out blue eyes and unkempt blonde hair is Shirley T’s mom. 

“Mother” she says, letting go of Boris immediately and patting him on the head “I was just saying hi to my friend”.

She doesn’t buy it, Boris can tell. 

“Aleksander” she says, her tone serious and somewhat worried “Where do you know this little boy from?”

Shirley T turns to Boris and looks guilty, Boris has no idea how she managed to escape every day if she was this obvious.

“He is his babysitter, It’s very nice to meet you, I’m Sirius Black” Sirius cuts in, with a charming smile and offering to shake Shirley T’s mom’s hand and putting his other hand on Boris’s shoulder “I’m Boris’s father”.

She squinted her eyes with a worried look on her face, it was almost like she was trying to do the math for how young Sirius would have been when he had him, Boris thinks of correcting her but she shrugs like she is deciding that it doesn’t matter and shakes Sirius’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Aleksander’s mother, my name is Joasia Kowalcyzk” she says politely “I want to thank for giving my son work and specially for trusting him with your child but he has already a part time job and I don’t want him to slip up in his school work”.

Shirley T tries to stop her “Mom—” 

“No” she says simply before turning back to Sirius “I know how difficult it can be for any parent to trust someone to take care of your kid and I’m really sorry but he can’t do it anymore, I can’t have him working two jobs and going to school, he’ll have no life then, I hope you and your wife understand that”.

It takes a second before they realize she has gestured towards Lily, Sirius makes a face that is somewhere between holding back a laugh and wanting to say ew, no.  
Lily just snorts and takes James' hand as she says “Actually, I’m married to this one”. 

“She is my sister in law” Sirius explains quickly “I’m a single father”.

Her face softens in a very sad way in that moment and Boris knows that she is thinking that Sirius is either a widower or his wife left him, the same way her husband left her.

“I understand, being a single parent is hard but still I can’t let my son work two jobs, he is only thirteen—”

“No, it’s okay, I understand it completely” Sirius says nodding and the woman smiles back at him, grateful, “but I do have to say that I didn’t pay him for the last two times so…”

Sirius takes out a handful of cash, that looks way too expensive to be any type of babysitting gig but Shirley T takes it immediately without even counting it or letting her mom say anything else. 

“Thank you, sir” she says with a respectful nod in his direction and then looking down at Boris, ruffling his hair. 

He knew it was her way to say _ goodbye_ but also letting him know that they’ll be seeing each other again. 

“It was very nice to meet you but we must go now” she says linking her arm with Shirley T.

“Likewise” Sirius says with a courteous smile. 

As they walk away, Boris notices Shirley T turn around not once but twice, looking like she wanted to ask him something but she doesn’t say anything else, she makes a hand gesture that means _later._

He imagines she saying that she’ll see him later but he has no idea how, she has zero idea of where he is or where he lives but still he decides to trust her and waves back at her.

“Is he really your babysitter?” Peter asks, confused.

“You think that if I had a babysitter I would be asking Lucille to take care of Boris everytime something about the Order comes out?” Sirius responds, Boris takes his hand again.

“Then where do you know him from?” Peter asks Sirius.

“Her” Boris says casually, he sees Peter turn to look at him for a second, before turning back to Sirius. 

“Then where do you know HER from?” Peter asks Sirius again.

“She is clearly a friend of Boris” Sirius says, looking at Peter like that is a dumb question “I don’t know her personally but she clearly needed someone to give her a hand, the poor girl clearly has no idea of how to lie and I have no idea how she gets away with anything”.

“Shirley T’s mom is sick” Boris says simply “her medication is really strong and puts her to sleep for the rest of the night so that’s when Shirley T can sneak out so there is no lying”. 

“Oh, so that’s how” Sirius nods “I guess that works, you don’t have to give any explanations if they don’t even know you are out in the first place, that’s smart I guess”.

“So Shirley T was one of your…” Remus takes a pause looking for the right word “clients? co-workers?”

“Clients? Co-workers?” James asks, slightly confused, with a concerned look on his face. 

“I used to sell... stuff” Boris says with a pointed look, hoping that James would understand “Shirley T’s job was to protect me when I would sell it because it was during the night”.

Lily gets it before him, she nods her head, while James frowns slightly before letting out an “Oh”.

“For food? But I thought the orphanage provided...” James trails off confused.

“In case I needed to run away, I’ll need to have cash to have supplies and stuff, yes?” Boris says, hoping he doesn’t have to explain anymore because he doesn’t know what else to even say, that you always need to have a Plan B so you don’t get screwed, that he needed to have money on him because when you don’t, bad things happen, and that a part of him had also fantasized about getting enough money to go to New York to see someone that doesn’t even want to see him.

“I see” James says, and Boris wonders if he actually does, Sirius said he is rich, and Mr. and Mrs.Potter both seemed very nice, not people you need to get away from, before he remembers that Sirius ran away and came to James before his family adopted Sirius. So maybe James does understand, at least a little.

“I think the bus stop is a block away” Remus says, Boris is grateful that he changed the topic, he didn’t want to keep talking about it.

“Let’s go then, we don’t want to keep them waiting” James says, Boris wonders if he says it because he realized that he didn’t want to keep talking about it or if it was just because he really wanted to be on time.

Either way, Boris appreciates it and takes James’s hand as they keep walking down the street.

-.-.-.-

Lily’s house doesn’t look like James’s house, it’s not as big and not small either, it’s a lot more familiar to the houses that he has seen before, it is in the suburbs, it looks nice and cozy, well taken care of, with a beautiful front yard and nicely painted, the garage door open and a man inside that he assumes to be Lily’s father, he has sandy brown hair, not exactly tall but not short either, he is good looking, clean-shaven with a nice gentle face and a cleft chin, he smiles as soon as he sees them, he has a nice smile, perfect teeth that Boris thinks should be in a dentist office. 

He opens his arms and pulls Lily into a tight hug, kissing her on the forehead, he can hear him whispering “You are late” but there is no heat to his voice, he is not demanding an explanation or complaining, he is not angry and it sounds like he is teasing her. 

“We went roller skating” Lily says like that explains everything, her dad pats her in the back like he is trying to give her some sort of comfort.

“She only fell twice this time” James says like it’s a big and impressive accomplishment.

“That’s good, it’s progress” he nods laughingly, then hugging him and patting him in the back.

He repeats the same hug with Remus and says “It’s good to see you”, he hugs Peter too but this time, he says “Hey, it’s been a while” like he hadn’t seen him in a while, with Sirius, he pats him in the shoulder before pulling him into the hug and says “Congratulations”. 

At first Boris isn’t sure what he is congratulating Sirius for but then he realizes that oh, he is talking about him. 

When Lily’s father looks at him, he smiles widely, the way people do when they see a baby down the street and instead of hugging him, he offers his hand, Boris smiles at him and decides to shake his hand, it feels awkward but also comfortable in its own way. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Lily and James have told me a lot about you” he says letting go of his hand but still smiling at him “do you want to take a look at the bike?”  
Boris nods eagerly as he says “I heard a lot about you too, Mr.Evans”.

“We were thinking about taking Boris for a ride before or maybe after dinner” Lily mentions as her dad moves something from the table. 

“Maybe you can wait a day or two” her dad says, that’s when Boris notices that he is taking a bucket of blue paint and hiding it “I decided to give it a quick fix and it hasn’t finished drying”. 

Boris doesn’t know what that means at first but he sees the freshly painted bike and smiles, it’s a blue bike, he has no idea of what color it was before, he can tell that he changed the tires and had also changed the seat, also added a small basket but it probably once had something to close it, that had been taken out and replaced with a piece of blue lace.

“You painted it and changed the seat” Lily points out, giving it a look as well.

“Yeah” he says sounding like he was proud of himself “The leather of the old seat was falling off so I changed it for this new black one and since the pink seat didn’t match the light orange of the bike, I decided to paint it blue”. 

“Thank you,” Boris says happily “I love it”.

“I’m glad, I’m sure it will finish drying soon” he says with an apologetic tone of voice “let’s go inside now, your mother must be waiting for us and I still have to clean myself up before dinner”.

Sirius takes his hand and guides him inside, while Mr.Evans stays back to close the garage doors, the house is even nicer inside, really clean and organized, the furniture looks old like they had it for years but well taken care of, even if you can see some marks in it, like some things had been spilled on it, and the sofa has a blanket on it that is perfectly folded and Boris would bet his left arm that it’s handmade. 

There are a lot of pictures here, wedding photos, baby photos, Lily and another girl Boris assumes is Lily’s sister, she is a small little blonde with a huge smile, arms wrapped around her younger sister, they are even wearing the same clothes, he assumes that was before the falling out and in a sad way, he can see how they grew apart in the photos, as Lily’s sister became taller and her hair became the same shade of brown as her father’s, she also would stand with more and more distance from Lily as the years went by. 

Her smile disappeared too, it looked forced, Boris can tell, his mom used to smile that way too, the face strained, eyes empty and she looked like she didn’t want to be there. 

He looks away from them as he stares back at the couch and sees next to it a rocking chair with pillows on top of it, he bets the pillows are homemade too, they are nice with roses knit into them. 

“You know I made that myself” Mr.Evans says proudly and fondly “It was a present for my wife on our anniversary, I still have to make the other one for me so that when we retire, we can grow old in them, sit and watch TV and spoil our grandkids, of course”. 

“Lucky for you, you have a lot of time before the grandkids get here” Lily says, kissing him on the cheek. 

“But don’t take too long” another voice says, he sees a woman wearing an apron, he knows she is Lily’s mother right away, she is beautiful like her, they have the same round nose and similar hair, thick and coarse but the colors are different, Lily’s hair is a vivid dark red and her mother’s is dark brown, close to auburn, but the biggest difference between them is that Lily has her father’s green eyes and her mother has darker brown skin and Lily’s skin tone is a lot lighter, but still a little darker than her dad now that he thinks about it, also Lily is slightly taller than her mother, even if he still thinks they are both a little short. 

“Mum” Lily says, shaking her head but she doesn’t look angry or annoyed, she looks almost amused.

“I’m just saying,” she says as she takes a little yellow sweater with a duck on the side, it’s clearly made for a baby and fakes a sad face for extra comedic effect while she shows it to her. 

Lily snorts while she covers her face, James laughs but still says “It looks adorable”. 

“See” she insists but Lily just shakes her head. 

“We are going to wait a few years” Lily says rolling her eyes but still she tilts her face and smiles sweetly as she looks at the sweater. 

“Fine” Her mom says with determination “I’ll have the baby’s whole wardrobe done by then”. 

“Mom” Lily repeats laughingly. 

“I still have your old crib, I could fix it” her dad says as he goes to the kitchen, Boris thinks he is probably setting the table, Lily follows him there, still shaking her head. 

Lily's mom laughs delighted like her joke had landed perfectly, then she goes to hug James to greet him, same with Remus and Peter, with Sirius, she hugs him and he can hear her saying “Congratulations” as well. 

“You must be Boris” she says happily, she fixes his hair a little bit “I have a present for you, I’ll go get it before I forget”. 

“Oh” he says surprised “thank you”. 

“Don’t worry” she says almost cooing and then looking back at Sirius “Fleamont and Euphemia must be so happy about their first grandson”.

“Oh yes, they are,” Sirius says, nodding and beaming as she ran up the stairs. 

She comes back a second later, with a small blue bag, he smiles up at her, before taking out some blue paper and seeing a knitted light blue scarf with a black dog at the bottom, it’s really cute and Boris has never been the one to go for cutesy stuff because...well it made him look like a kid and that would make him look weak but...now, well there is no reason really for him not to wear it.

“Thank you” he says pulling her into a hug, she hugs him back immediately. 

“I’m glad you liked it,” she says, then she lets go of the hug and goes to the kitchen.

Sirius is about to go too but Boris pulls his hand and he turns to look at him with his _ Is everything okay?._ expression, it’s a slight frown with his head tilted. 

Boris points at the little dog in the scarf and then back at him, then he mouths “Does she know?”

Sirius gets it and snorts before shaking his head. 

The table has been set by then, it’s a little crowded but it’s not uncomfortable, Boris doesn’t mind and he is sitting between Sirius and James who is sitting next to Lily, right in front of Remus who is sitting next to Peter, Lily’s parents are sitting right next to each other, they are at the front, where they can get a view of everyone else which is probably smart since they are going to be the ones serving dinner.

“David, I can’t remember if this manti is the vegan one or if this one” Lily’s mother says as holds what Boris thinks are two identical dishes of ravioli-like dumplings. 

“Don’t worry, Rahmiya” He says somewhat cheekily as he takes one of the ravioli-like dumplings from the plate “this one is spinach and cheese, that one must be meat”.

He subtly puts the ones with meat in front of Remus and Boris suspects it’s because Remus likes those the best because he smiles shyly and mumbles a thank you like he doesn’t want to make too much noise or call too much attention but still wants to thank them, at the same time he puts the other ones in front of James and Lily who smiles at each other as they serve themselves and Lily’s mom helps Boris to serve himself a little bit of both.

And when he likes the one with meat better, (both are good, still) he smiles at Remus who smiles back at him as Lily’s mother brings a new somewhat big plate, it looks like white cabbage prepared in some way “I also made lahana turşusu”.

She says that part looking at Lily whose face lights up in delight, she is about to ask something when they hear the main door open and close with ease, he sees Lily’s face fall for a moment, she looks torn like she doesn’t know what to do, he hears a female voice call for her parents but he can’t quite make it out what she is saying until she is closer to the kitchen. 

“I finally got the first wedding invitations, not samples, the real thing, I didn’t like what they did with the corners of the other ones, it made it look like napkins” the last part of the sentence sounds like that was a huge offense to herself like someone might as well have spit on her shoe “and that’s not what I asked for and they finally got it right—”

She stops for a moment when she sees them in the kitchen, she clearly didn’t expect them there and she doesn’t look like she is happy to see them either, her hair looks different from the pictures that Boris had seen, her hair that he had seen as light yellow and then had gone darker, it had been dyed to look more like the way it did before but it wasn’t the same, it comes out as a tawny blonde. 

“Honey, it’s so good to see you” Lily’s mom stands up to greet her and so does her father but Lily doesn’t, she sits there with a blank expression on her face like she is still coming to terms with something. 

“You are getting married?” she asks, her voice comes out a little broken, clearly hurt that she didn’t know. 

Petunia doesn’t even look phased as she says “I just got the wedding invitations today, I’m here now to bring them to mum and dad”.

“Since your sister is here, then you can also give an invitation to her” David says, his voice affable and sweet but it didn’t sound like a suggestion or a question. 

“Are you staying over for dinner?” Rahmiya says, she is looking at them like she is already thinking of ways to rearrange the table to make space.

“No, thank you, I’m not hungry” she says looking at the table like they are personally offending her by being there, Boris can actually hear Sirius mumble something towards James who snorts but still nudges him, like it’s funny but no, he can’t say it. 

Petunia seems to notice that but just when she is about to say something, her gaze stops on him, she frowns like she doesn’t understand what he is doing there, Rahmiya is the one to cut in “This is Boris, he is Sirius’s son”.

Sirius puts his arm around Boris, in a way that feels protective and he can see him glare back at Petunia, almost like he is daring her to say something and Boris stares at Remus who is also looking at Petunia with a similar look on his face but there is more disbelief there, like he is thinking _no, she won’t say anything to a kid_ but then he turns to look at Lily like he needs a confirmation that she won’t, Boris can’t see Lily’s face but he can see Peter’s and he looks like he is about to get a headache. 

“More of... your kind?” Petunia asks, she sounds haughty and Boris puts his hand on Sirius, feeling like the offense is directed at him “Shouldn’t he be at school or do they just let you take him out of school whenever you feel like hanging out with him?”

“Today is Saturday, there is no school today” Boris says on an impulse because it’s the first thing that comes to mind and he turns to look at Sirius who does look ticked off but still he leans over Boris and whispers into his ear _ Forgive her, she hasn’t learned the days of the week yet._

Boris snorts, he isn’t sure if anyone else heard Sirius but Remus does look a little amused and he turns back at Petunia and she doesn’t look ashamed, only mild surprise on her face as she looks back at him “Well, at least the kid is normal”. 

“Can I see the invitations? I would love to see the changes from the last time” Rahmiya asks, it feels like she is trying to change the topic and Boris is somewhat grateful for that. 

Petunia’s face does light up from that, she opens her purse and takes out a long white envelope, Boris can’t see it properly from where he is but it looks really fancy, Rahmiya smiles looking at the little details but Boris notices that she doesn’t say anything about the groom and passes one of the invitations to David who smiles, though it looks a little forced, but they are able to keep the conversation going. 

“It’s like almost everything is ready” Rahmiya says, still staring at the invitation.

“I still haven’t picked out a wedding dress” Petunia says, it sounds like a complaint with annoyance “they all look good, I just haven’t found the right one, I think I might ask for it to be personally made for me, Vernon’s mother is telling me about a seamstress who she insists that she can make it for me”. 

As she talks, she walks away, Boris knows it’s a sign for her to not be followed like she doesn’t want her precious wedding plans to be heard by them like they are not worthy, Boris doesn’t really mind because he didn’t really care for her wedding plans or anything like that. 

Rahmiya and David share a look, she gives a tired smile to David and a softer one to Lily as she kisses the top of her head before walking away after Petunia, David does his own tired smile as he passes Lily the invitation, she makes a face even before she has opened the envelope, she frowns and rests her head in her hand.  
“Vernon? Really?” She says, anger and irritation clear in her voice, her father does a nod in her direction like he is giving her permission to get it out of her system before her sister comes back and she starts talking but still manages not to scream “Vernon the man who wrinkles his nose at mum’s food! Vernon, the man who just assumed without even asking that James is a layabout! Vernon the man who told us that women shouldn’t have jobs after they’re married! That Vernon!”

“No, she just met another man that is actually a good person but he is also named Vernon” David responds clearly jokingly as a way to lighten the mood, even if he doesn’t look happy about it either. 

“That’s not funny,” Lily says even if she smiles for a second before passing him back the invitation, her father kisses the top of her head, clearly trying to comfort her.

Petunia comes back with Rahmiya after a second, he doesn’t know what conversation they just had but she comes back with another invitation in her hand and she offers it towards Lily but it doesn’t look or feel like a peace offering, it’s almost like she is a kid being forced to share a toy, Lily does take it and Boris quickly gets why her dad showed her the invitation first, because now this time there isn’t an outburst, only a look of disapproval but she makes the effort of sending a tightlipped smile at Petunia’s direction. 

Boris looks at Petunia’s hand and the ring is big, an over-sized diamond that reminds Boris of his mother’s wedding ring, with the difference that this one feels less over the top and more elegant but he bets they are just as expensive. 

And then he wonders if Theo sold it already and how he is doing and…

He takes another bite of his food and stops thinking and looking at the wedding ring and focuses on Sirius who is cleaning his face because Boris apparently got some food on his cheeks and nose, for a second he can see Petunia staring at him and there is some judgement there like he shouldn’t be getting his face so dirty and he feels his face heat up for a second before letting Sirius finish cleaning his face. 

She doesn’t stay for long after that anyway, a couple of minutes go by and they hear a claxon outside and she stands up quickly like that’s her sign to go, David actually does seem annoyed by that but doesn’t say anything, only walks his daughter to the door, Rahmiya does the same and once they are out of sight and most likely out of earshot, he can hear James let out a sigh of relief. 

“Oh for a second I thought he was going to come in” James says, dropping his head dramatically on Sirius’s shoulder, he laughs “No, I was really dreading seeing him again, the last time, he talked non-stop about his car for forty five minutes”. 

“It sounds like he was bragging about his car” Sirius says, annoyance clear in his voice. 

“He looked like he wanted to kill me when I told him that I didn’t have one” James says, he sounds confused like he didn’t understand any of it and still felt bewildered by the interaction and had no desire to go through it again. 

“Wow and now you are going to have to have to see him all the time during the holidays” Peter says with slight horror. 

Lily scoffs “Like he is going to want to spend the holidays with us”. 

James puts his hand on top of hers as a form of comfort and he sees her hold it back, when her parents come back and sit back down, after a bit they manage to go back to the easygoing mood that they were before Petunia had arrived, but he does manage to get a look at Lily’s face and she looks a little troubled, even if she tries to distract herself again and again. 

When dinner is officially over, he goes to the bathroom to wash his hands and when he reaches for the hand towel to dry them, he accidentally knocks something over, it is a newspaper that manages to startle him for a second and it takes a second for him to decide to pick it up instead of leaving there, and a part of him wants to close it immediately but then he sees his father's face and he can’t look away. 

He actually takes a step back and accidentally hits himself against the door and his father’s face looks so similar to when he’ll come late and he’ll be in a bad mood and Boris would have done something because he always did something to bother him…

He isn’t sure what the reporter had been doing or what he had said but he knows for a fact that his father wanted to hit the reporter, he can tell by the look on his father’s face, it wasn’t difficult to get him angry but still, the reporter had snapped the picture at the right second, like he is looking back at whoever is holding the picture, he has to admit that whoever took that picture did an amazing job.

His father looks different, not regretful or anything of the sort but physically different, his beard has grown, there isn’t just a moustache anymore and it covers most of his face now, the handcuffs are where his Rolex used to be and instead his Caraguamo suit and Jarman Jays shoes, he is not wearing any of that stuff, it’s just his prison uniform. 

Boris starts reading the article then because at this point, he might as well, he isn’t surprised when it doesn’t mention him, the newspapers had only paid attention to him for the first few days that his dad had been caught, they talked about him like he was a minor occurrence, just a footnote in his dad’s long life story, he was his “underweight”, “clearly sick” and “abused” son, some papers exaggerated about him and others didn’t but it was clear that while he wasn’t the reason why his dad was arrested, his existence was yet another reason for the newspaper readers to hate his father. 

Whoever wrote this does a quick catch up on everything, why his father is in jail and what he had done, Boris skims those parts, he was there, he doesn’t need to read it but he stops when he gets to the part about a property that has been found under his father’s name in Ukraine and it takes a moment to describe the place, Boris already knows the place, he knows it’s in a remote location and he knows it was a two floor house with a backyard but it doesn’t mention it was light blue and he knows it doesn’t matter but his mother liked that.

It finally gets to the important part, the new information that appeared, that they found the remains of a woman; they don’t go through the details; it says that she is unable to be identified, that she must have been there for a few years and yet Boris knows exactly who she is when they said that she was buried in the backyard.  
He stops for a second, reading over the words again and again, he traces his fingers over them and a part of him can’t help but think _That’s it? That’s all she gets? He gets the whole article; she gets a few lines and all it says is that she is unidentified._

Boris reads it again, trying to find something he skipped but all it mentions are blood stains and assumptions about how she died and it’s like all he can hear is the sound of something dropping against the floor and the sound of cracking becoming stronger.

“Boris?” he hears someone calling him from outside.

It takes a second for him to realize it’s Sirius and he knows he should open the door but even knowing those two things, he can’t stop hearing that sound and when he hears another knock, he gets startled enough to shriek and slips with the stupid carpet that it’s under him.

The door opens then and Boris tries not to jump, he only stays sitting down on the floor and feels relieved when he sees it’s just him, even if he can hear other concerned voices on the other side, when Sirius looks at him, he doesn’t look angry or disappointed, his expression is somewhat blank but worried like he wants to help but doesn’t know what to do. 

“Give us a second” Sirius says to someone he can’t see, quickly walking inside of the bathroom “everything is fine, just give us a second”.

He looks at him and then back at the door, like he is asking him if he wants it open or close and Boris nods, knowing that he is going to close it and still jumps a second later, Sirius keeps looking at him and kneels down next to him, instead of helping him to stand up and it feels like he is telling him to take his time, there is no rush. 

Boris feels like there is because he only asked for a second and eventually the door will be knocked again and he just pushes the newspaper in Sirius’s direction, hoping that it will be enough of an explanation and Sirius blinks when he sees the newspaper, almost like he just remembered something, looking down at the newspaper and he nods like that explains everything “Your dad”.

Boris shakes his head, feeling his eyes water a little bit and manages to mumble “My mom”.

“What?” Sirius asks him, looking confused until his eyes widen in some sort of realization.

“This is my mom” he says, pointing at the lines. 

Sirius stares for a second, reading the newspaper as well and staring back at him, he opens his mouth, for a second Boris thinks that he is going to ask him if he is sure and he is, when his dad did his job, he would usually leave it outside, his mom was in the backyard.

“I’m sorry” Sirius says instead, there is pain in his voice and it feels like a genuine apology even if Boris has no idea what he is apologizing for. 

“I should go,” Boris says finally, even if he has no idea where. 

Sirius nods and offers his hand, Boris puts the crumpled newspaper back in his place and takes Sirius’s hand but suddenly he doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t want to see everyone’s faces outside and he thinks he could fit through the window but when he doesn’t move, Sirius just assumes he is pulling his hand to be picked up and he lets him do it, his chin hooked over his shoulder and he buries his face there and it feels like a good place to hide his face. 

“Is everything okay?” Rahmiya asks them, the worry is clear in her voice “Does he feel sick? Was it the food?” 

“No, it’s not, don’t worry” Sirius says simply “he just doesn’t feel well and we really should get going”.

They take the bus back home and the ride is silent, the rest of the group does come with them to Boris’s surprise, at first, he thinks that they will leave them at the apartment, but they don’t, they walk in with Sirius and they stay. 

Boris is not mad that they are there, but he is just not used to people being there when he is not fun anymore and he doubts that he will be during tonight, he is actually relieved when Sirius asks him if he can tell them what happened so Boris doesn’t have to, and when they leave to the kitchen for a second. 

He tries to turn on the T.V. to distract himself because he doesn’t want to think anymore but he can’t find the remote and uselessly sits on the couch before deciding to go to the kitchen to ask Sirius where is it and practicing what he is going to say, he knows he is going to start his sentence with I’m sorry and all he can think about is that his dad saying _ You are always sorry, aren’t you?._

“That’s her?” Remus says, the shock is so clear in his voice and he sounds horrified as he says, “Oh god”.

“You said you read it before, how bad was it? I wasn’t even able to finish it, I only made it past three lines and all I could think about was that he was probably there and saw it happen and probably had to live it all over again when he read it and she…” Sirius doesn’t even finish that sentence, sounds sad, heartbroken even and that’s the saddest Boris has heard anyone ever talk about his mom since she died.

“We should call someone, right?” Lily asks, she sounds like she is trying to make sense of it all “We can’t just…leave it like this, we can’t just…we know who she is, there has to be somewhere that we can call”. 

“I don’t know what to do, I have no idea of what I’m doing” Sirius says, he sounds slightly exasperated and nervous like he was on the verge of tears and it almost sounds like a plea for help.

“Try the social worker” James offers, his tone of voice is calm and collected, Boris has no idea how that’s possible after hearing how Sirius sounds like “your social worker, you said she is nice to you and she gave you her number for emergencies, she’ll know who to call, or who to redirect you to, she has probably dealt with situations like this before, she’ll help you”.

Sirius takes a deep breath and shudders but a second later, Boris sees the telephone fly in his direction, but he isn’t the one to enter in the phone number, instead it’s James, Boris knows because Sirius reads it to him and after a second, he can hear Sirius say “Hey, I’m so sorry, I know you don’t work on weekends but can we please talk for a second?” 

Boris stands there feeling bad for Mrs.Winkles and all he can think about is her in her pajamas or maybe eating dinner with her husband and daughter and having to stand up to hear what happened…

In that moment Peter makes it out of the kitchen and he looks at him, he purses his lips and stares at him sadly as he says “I’m really sorry about your mom”. 

“I can’t find the remote” he responds instead, Peter’s expression doesn’t change, he just pats him on the shoulder. 

“Here, I know where he leaves it” he follows him to the living room and he sees him find the remote under the couch. 

“He always used to lose it so he just started leaving it there” Peter explains as he turns on the T.V.

“Makes sense” Boris responds wanly as he sits on the couch “And there is always the option of just making it appear after all”.

“Yeah, that’s true but this is practical too, anyway what do you want to watch?” Peter responds, it feels like he is still trying to make their conversation as short as possible and he doesn’t sit next to him, he actually chooses the seat that is farthest away from him. 

He wants to say that he is not going to bite him or anything, but Remus comes in that moment and Boris feels grateful for that and he can see that so is Peter because he takes a more relaxed position when he does. 

“Hey” Remus says as he sits next to him. 

“Hi” Boris says, he manages to stay quiet for a couple seconds before he finally asks “What did Mrs.Winkles say?” 

“She is walking Sirius through some stuff, James and Lily are taking notes of phone numbers that he has to call” Remus tells him and Boris nods along to his words  
“How are you?”

“You read it” he says simply instead of answering, Remus gives him a sympathetic nod of confirmation “they said she was unable to be identified”. 

Remus’s face turns into a comforting frown of sorts as he nods again and combs his fingers through Boris’s hair for a couple of seconds. 

“My dad would always say that when you are not able to be recognized, it’s because someone made… it impossible for you to be recognized” Boris says, feeling a sickness in his stomach and like his heart is sinking “That means she must have suffered a lot”.

His father would always say that and he would repeat it, how he would cut fingers so the person couldn’t be recognized by their hands, get their teeth out and feet and heads and his mom, god, his mom, what if she was still alive at that point, he never thought that he would wish for his mom to have died as soon as she touched the floor but thinking about what else could have happened is so much worse.

“No, no, that’s not what it means” Remus says carefully like the last thing he wants is to scare him “It’s not, it can just mean that the person hasn’t been able to be identified because she was never reported as missing and it can also be because a long time has gone by since the disappearance, it can mean a lot of things”.

“Yes?” Boris asks hopefully, he knows her death wasn’t peaceful, it couldn’t have been but…if at least it wasn’t long...

“Yes, it can” Remus responds, nodding eagerly even if his face does fall at the end “Really, it can”.

He nods, he can feel like he is about to cry and instead a broken laugh comes out as he says “I don’t know why it even matters, she is still dead”.

“I’m really sorry about everything” Remus says and it feels like he is apologizing for every single bad thing that has ever happened in his life “I’m sure she was an amazing woman”.

“She was always good to me, I mean she tried her best, all things considered and if my dad hadn’t been there things would have been very different” Boris tells him trying to create an image for Remus even if he has no idea how “she really loved me, she would always pick me up when my dad would get into one of his moods and take me outside until he would calm down, his favorite thing to say to her when she would do that was_You better NOT leave me alone with this kid or you’ll never see him again”._

He can see Remus’s expression is like someone had given him a hug and kicked him at the same time and that’s how Boris feels sometimes when he thinks of her. 

“She was probably different before him, maybe she was bubbly and outgoing” Boris says, he always imagined her like that “she used to always make plans, even if we couldn’t leave, we thought about it but she had no car, no money, no friends and she didn’t have a job, she couldn’t get one and it was scary to leave because he would burn or break things”. 

Boris feels his shoulder shake in anger, they weren’t ever able to have anything, his father would always destroy anything, and Remus stays quiet for a second before he puts his arm around him, and Boris feels his eyes fill with tears again as he asks him “Where did she like to go? Like in the plans and stuff”. 

“Oh, the beach” he says because it’s the first thing that comes to mind. 

“My mom likes that too” Remus says, somehow that makes Boris feel a little better “Going to the beach, I mean”.

“Yeah” Boris smiles back at him “What did she like to do there?”

“When she was pregnant, she just liked to walk around there with my dad and they would just walk and talk, she mentions it all the time and has the pictures to prove it but she also liked to go on her own to just read” he says like he is trying to get an exact image on his head “there is this picture she has on my dad’s wallet of them reading Pablo Neruda to me when I was a baby”.

Boris smiles at him, remembering how his mother would read to him from the Communist Manifesto until he would fall asleep, sometimes he is not sure if he even understood what she was saying or if he just liked the sound of her voice.

“My dad used to recite it for her too, back when they were dating” Remus laughs and shakes his head like he is thinking back of something funny “he still does and sometimes he serenades her too”.

“That 's nice”.

“It would be if the poor man could carry a tune” Remus says solemnly.

Boris isn’t sure what makes him laugh, if it’s the response itself or the dignified manner in which Remus had told it but it makes him crack and Remus laughs a second later with a triumphant smile. 

Sirius walks in that second and does look relieved when he finds Boris laughing, even if he does look tired, James and Lily are standing beside him looking relieved too as they settle down some papers that had been scribbled on.

“What are you two talking about?” James asks them, a bright smile on his face.

“Remus says his dad is a bad singer” Boris responds with fake indignation; Sirius laughs but doesn’t nod or shake his head.

“Oh I wouldn’t say he is that bad”.

“Lily, listen I know you think it’s cute that he sang for my mum in their anniversary—”

“Oh, even I have to admit that was adorable” Sirius says, snapping his fingers like he is trying to create an exact rhythm “man, I forgot the name of that song, I’m  
going to have to ask him next time I see him”. 

“You have to stop encouraging his behavior” Remus says, and it sounds like he is both joking and speaking very seriously. 

Before Sirius can even answer, they hear a somewhat loud snore and they turn to look at where it is coming from and Boris feels some type of way about the fact that Peter has been napping on the couch for a while. 

“Should we wake him up?” Remus whispers “I feel bad, the other day he told me that he hasn’t been sleeping well”.

“Leave him there” Sirius responds flippantly “it must be his guilty conscience”. 

“Oh, what now has Peter been stealing the good biscuits from your house?” James responds, making Sirius snort.

“I’m telling you, it’s him” Sirius points at Peter, he is a little loud but doesn’t even wake him up.

“No, it’s me” Lily says as she takes off her jacket “If we are going to stay over, can I borrow some pajamas?” 

After the agreement that they are all going to spend the night, Sirius walks Boris to his room to let him change into his own and at first Boris doesn’t want to talk about anything since managed to calm down and he might start crying again but he has to ask. 

“What did Mrs.Winkles say?” he asks Sirius before he closes the door and he comes inside of the room and sits on his bed, patting the side as a sign for him to sit and he does. 

“We had a somewhat long conversation” Sirius admits looking a little deflated “she called some people but since it was a saturday night, they weren’t very helpful but I’m going to go with her on Monday to see what we can do”. 

“What do you mean?” Boris is unsure of what they can even do at this point, he knows there is magic but he doubts they can bring her back or something like that.

“We are going to have her identified, get her death recognized, and get her remains” Sirius says with some determination “not now because it’s an ongoing investigation but it’s likely we’ll get her ashes and then...we’ll do whatever you want, we’ll give her a proper burial”. 

“Like a funeral?” Boris asks him, feeling hopeful even if he is unsure of what that would even look like but he does like the idea of maybe getting some closure or saying goodbye...somehow. 

“Yeah” Sirius nods even if he does look lost in a thought for a second “or we can keep her here? I think Remus did that with his grandmother, she is in his house". 

“I don’t like that idea” Boris answers honestly, the idea of keeping his mom stuck in a house didn’t feel good at all. 

“Like I said we’ll do what you want” Sirius tells him, making him smile before giving him a kiss in the forehead “I’m going to pass some pajamas to James and Lily, I’ll be right back”. 

Boris nods for a second and as soon as Sirius is out of the room and the door is closed, he hears a noise in the window, it sounds like bumping and at first he doesn’t want to check what it is but then think it might be a pigeon that is hurt, he opens the drapes, only to see an owl staring back at him and a white envelope stuck into his window.

He is about to call for Sirius but after all the trouble that he has caused today, he thinks he can take care of this, whatever it is, he has no idea who would even try to send him a letter like this and…

What if it’s Theo? 

Maybe it’s him, it could be him, he had been thinking about him today and maybe Theo had been thinking about him too, maybe he had missed him and he has no idea how he got the owl but he is sure that he could and he would train it, he was the one that trained Popchik to go to the bathroom. 

He pulls the envelope inside, he is glad that he managed not to break it, it’s fancy and long but it doesn’t feel heavy and the animal flies away from him like his job is done and he turns it around to find only his name written in the back but it’s not Theo’s calligraphy and he lets out a disappointed sigh. 

Its not Theo. 

He should throw it out, it’s probably nothing good, whoever sent this to him clearly didn’t want Sirius to see it, that’s why it wasn’t with the rest of the mail, why would he even think that Theo sent this to him, he doesn’t want to talk to him, when is he going to understand that? 

He should have known when it didn’t feel heavy, Theo always had a thing with writing long letters, he’ll write three pages long letters to Andy, front to back, same with that man from the store, Hobbie, he thinks those letters might have been even longer but Hobbie wrote a lot too so it made sense, he swears those two were writing novels to each other, he had found it sweet that someone cared so much for Theo to write to him and to send money to Theo too, especially when he was all alone, that old man was kind for sure or maybe he was just lonely. 

Theo had told him that, that Hobbie was lonely, that he used to run his store with his business partner and roommate(yeah, right)that was in the hospital recovering and that his niece Pippa had been sent home but that she was also recovering and had to sleep through most of the day, that poor man probably spent his day worried sick for both of them and had no one to talk to, maybe he had found refuge in writing to Theo, he was probably alone in his apartment, he needed to talk to someone, exhausted like he has been climbing uphill for a long time....

_Oh no._

He already knows who sent him this letter. 

He jumps onto his bed, kicks off his shoes and tears the envelope open, breaking the fancy wax seal stamp off, to see the letter and he is not at all surprised when he opens the paper and sees that it’s signed by _Narcissa._

He starts from the beginning of the letter. 

_Dear Boris,_

_I’m really sorry that our last interaction ended so abruptly, especially since I feel like we were starting to get along and that I would really love seeing you again and getting a chance to know you but I don’t want you to feel pressured into making a decision and I want you to know that I understand that after what you have most likely heard about me, you probably have no interest in getting to know me._

Boris doesn’t know if she is talking about what he heard from Lucius or what he has heard from Sirius.

_I want you to know that day I was really there to apologize for my husband’s behavior but I didn’t know how far he had gone, I had no idea that he told you those awful things that are absolutely unacceptable and I need you to know that whatever he told you I said is not true and that I would have NEVER even implied anything of the sort, especially the part about you being separated from Sirius._

_I don’t want that, regardless of how the last time we saw each other went and the current state of our relationship, I can tell that he cares an awful lot about you. _

He can’t help but to smile at that part, it’s somewhat comforting to hear that she didn’t want him to be taken away.

_I promise that you don’t need protection from me, I don’t want to hurt you. _

_I understand that I also might be out of place when I ask you for this but I really would love to see you again, I understand that Sirius might not like that but I’m sure that you and I can figure something out. _

_Thinking the best for you, _

_Narcissa Malfoy. _

At first Boris doesn’t know what to do with the letter, if he should throw it out anyway and act like he never saw it, if he should show it to Sirius, he doesn’t think his reaction would be good, this might stress him out. 

He would probably throw the letter out after he shows it to him. 

He should do it himself. 

But she sounds so genuine like she is really looking for a connection, like she really wants to get to know him, like she is actually sorry for everything and…

He wants to believe her, he wants to believe that everything she is telling him is the truth but Sirius probably knows her better than him and he doesn’t want him talking to her, it’s a bad idea and he should throw this letter out. 

But he doesn’t. 

He puts on his pajamas and as soon as he dresses, he opens his money jar because Sirius has never looked there, Boris knows because he counts the money all the time and Sirius has never taken any and Theo’s phone number is always right where he left it and stuffs the letter inside of it before putting it back in its place. 

He puts on his pajamas, trying not to look suspicious while he waits for Sirius but eventually, he stands up and goes to his room and the door is open and he sees Lily sitting on Sirius’s bed comfortably, looking at the T.V. while she brushes her hair, he can tell that she is wearing Sirius’s pajama pants, but she is also wearing a fluffy blue robe on top of it that Boris has never seen before, just like the brush she is using, he assumes that Sirius keeps them for her somewhere.

She smiles when she openly sees him , and Boris decides to quietly sit next to her to see what he is watching, turns out she was just changing the channels, trying to find something to watch or maybe she is one of those people that need to leave the T.V. on to fall asleep, Theo was like that and for a moment it stops in this black and white movie that he recognizes, and she seems to realize that too.

“You watched Reefer Madness?” Lily asks surprised, her expression somewhat horrified but there was some amusement in her face, Boris nods laughingly when she changes the channel.

“Have you?” he asks her, she snorts and shakes her head.

“No, I don’t even know what it’s about to be honest, but Petunia wanted to watch it” she says with a small laugh like she isn’t sure if she is supposed to find it funny as she clarifies “when she was a teenager, it wasn’t like a recent thing”.

Boris can’t imagine Petunia watching Reefer Madness, not years ago, not three months ago when he watched it with Shirley T and Myriam and some of their friends, he thinks she would have tried to get them kicked out for making too much noise.

“She was in love with this boy, I think his name was Daniel, Danny or something like that, it started with a D” she says like she is thinking really hard of the name but she just can’t remember it, she just shakes her head as she quits trying “and he asked her out to go watch the movie with him and she knew my parents would say no because it was a midnight movie so she tried to sneak out through her window and she was almost out but her backpack got tangled with a tree branch and she couldn’t get out”.

“Oh no” he says laughingly, Lily laughs too but her laughing sounds more guarded and a little sad, like looking back at a bittersweet memory.

“And she woke me up” she starts to explain, he swears her eyes light up for a moment “and she tells me about this guy and how cute he is for like ten minutes before asking me for help and for a moment it was like we were getting along again but then the light turned on and our parents found us”.

Boris gasps and Lily snorts as he says, “You got grounded, didn’t you?”

“Oh so grounded, super grounded” she says, her face falls for a minute “it wasn’t so bad, we mostly did puzzles and read some books, we got to spent a lot of time together after a long time of us just not talking to each other, I think that’s the most we hung out in years”.

He thinks that’s nice but it must suck that the only way you got to hang out with someone is if it’s both of you are locked inside of the same house and he thinks Lily realizes that too.

“So, she never got to have her date with Daniel? Was he really that cute, like enough to talk about for ten minutes?” he asks her, she shrugs like she does not know.

“I don’t know” she admits with a huff of laughter “we have never had similar taste in guys”.

Boris nods, he guesses that makes sense, that Vernon guy sounds nothing like James.

“What about you?” she asks him, Boris frowns, unsure of what she is talking about “I mean when or how did you watch it?”

“For my birthday, three months ago” he says simply with a smile “My friends Myriam and Shirley T have this friend called Mariana who was able to sneak me in with some of their friends for a midnight movie and it was that”.

He barely even cared about the movie, he just remembers that they were all huddled up together, eating popcorn and sharing sweets, he was not even sure if he got what was so funny or just liked to hear them laugh.

“Sounds fun” she says even if he can see some hints of concern in her face, she does look happy for him “What was it about anyway?”

“Oh, it’s about how weed is bad but it’s so bad that people watch it as a comedy” he quotes Myriam’s words and he mostly laughed at the adult actors that he was supposed to believe were teenagers and just the way they talked, nobody talks like that in real life.

Lily smiles looking a little satisfied as she fixes her robe and turns on the volume when they are showing Mary Poppins and Boris leans into her arm as they watch the scene of the men dancing with the roofers and he thinks he is going to stay up for the rest of the movie, but he is starting to feel a little sleepy.

James comes out of the bathroom then, he looks like he just took a shower, his hair looking a little fluffier than usual, Lily adjusts herself to give him some space for him to settle next to her, he kisses her temple when he is about to sit down but she stops for him for a second to ask him “You are wearing socks, aren’t you?”

“I am” he says laughingly “Even if I do think that it’s a bit of an exaggeration—”

“Just accept that your feet are weirdly cold, imagine what might happen if you accidentally touch poor Boris” Lily says matter-of-factly as she turns to look at him “I still remember the first time it touched my calf and the shock almost rolled me out of bed”.

James shakes his head like she is exaggerating but still shows her the socks he is wearing before leaning down next to her.

“I officially did all I could for Peter” Sirius says slightly exasperated “I tried everything to wake him up except for throwing cold water at him and I gave him a pillow  
and a blanket, if he complains tomorrow because his back hurts, that’s on him”.

“He really did try” Remus says walking behind him, it looked like he had taken a shower in the bathroom, he is finishing drying his hair with a brown towel, he isn’t wearing one of Sirius’s pajamas, but he is wearing what looks like an old worn-out t-shirt and sweatpants.

Sirius settles next to Boris and he leans on him letting him wrap an arm around him as Remus looks around for a couple of seconds before settling next to Boris and Sirius, Boris is at first surprised that they all managed to get inside of the bed, he knew it was big but still.

He falls asleep relatively quickly after that and after the day he had, he feels relieved that he doesn’t dream and wakes up next to Sirius who had managed to hug all the blankets and keep himself and Boris in some sort of blanket burrito in the middle of the bed.

He is worried that rest might have run cold but when he looks over at Lily and James, they are perfectly wrapped around each other, even if Lily is shorter than James, it somehow feels like she is the one covering him, her legs are on top of him and her arms around his neck, James only has his arm around her in a position that Boris isn’t sure is comfortable, but he remembers that cuddling with Theo always felt comfortable even if the position wasn’t.

Boris turns to Remus, lifting his head slightly to check on him too, he can see him throwing what little is left off the blanket off himself and then he makes a sound of sleepy contentment, he assumes he probably overheats during the night and doesn’t mind the blanket situation.

He thinks of trying to fall asleep again but then he hears some footsteps and relaxes when he sees it’s just Peter who must have woken up just now and drops his  
head back into the pillow.

“Sirius” Peter whispers, hovering over them, awkwardly trying to poke his head carefully at first carefully and then a little stronger “Sirius!”

Sirius isn’t the one that wakes up, instead it’s Remus who makes an effort to sit up and bangs his head against Peter’s and they both let out a whine that does result in waking Sirius up, he mumbles something that sounds a lot like_What the hell?_

“The Order called, we have a meeting later today” Pete starts speaking gently and apologetically while rubbing Remus’s forehead with his hand.

“Fuck” Sirius says rubbing his eyes as an attempt to wake himself up.

“I know this isn’t a good time to say this and that you just woke up and you are annoyed, but you really need to get a babysitter” Peter says, Boris can see Sirius nodding absentmindedly even if he did look a little annoyed.

Remus yawns stretching his arms “I know this woman named Veronica who runs this sort of nanny agency thing, I don’t know what it’s called but I do know she works  
with nannies and I can give you her number”.

“Really?” Sirius asks, his voice more alert now with interest.

“Yeah, I mean I can’t get you one today, but I can ask her to…” he stops to yawn before continuing “like get you a meeting or something for Monday, she is like friends with my mom, they do power walks together”.

“That’s nice” Sirius says with a yawn of his own but he sounds grateful when he adds a “Thank you”.

“Yeah, I’ll give you her number” Remus says sounding like he is falling asleep again and when he checks the watch, he puts it down and rolls on his side “in like an hour or two”.

“Are you guys up?” James asks, sounding like he is waking up from his own slumber.

“No” Lily and Remus say in unison.

Boris snorts and does manage to fall asleep again.

****

Eventually they do get up to eat breakfast and it’s nice having all these people at home, they take care of different things and it feels like one of the big billboard advertisements where the whole family is enjoying food together, except that instead of pizza or soup or something, they are all eating something different, Remus is eating cereal, James has a tomato sandwich, Lily is making toast, Peter eats a ham sandwich, Sirius makes coffee for himself and serves Boris a glass of milk before turning around to make a phone call, Boris asks Peter to pass him the sugar and when he does, he puts on his bread to eat it.

Sirius does end up calling Lucille during breakfast and it’s a bit of a long conversation, even if Boris can’t keep up with it because they do go through some other topics because they start talking about Sirius’s job and Boris is pretty sure that she is insulting his boss and that takes her on a tangent about something a client did yesterday that apparently ruined her uniform and her boss told her that she has to replace it herself which is unfair, Sirius agrees with her there and mentions that she doesn’t have to worry because he is finally going to get around to looking for a babysitter, he has a number to call, and that he can go with her to buy the apron and Lucille mentions it’s her free day on Monday and they should buy the stuff for the family tree project and how they should buy the stuff for it that day and then Sirius offers to buy her lunch while they are at it.

It’s a long phone call.

They do manage to get back to the main topic and turns out that no, she can’t look after Boris today because Nick and her are going to have a romantic date but she does give him an alternative option. 

Turns out Gyuri is going to hang out with Astrid that day and her parents are taking them to an arcade that is owned by her uncle and it does sound like a fun and safe place to spend a couple of hours there, she’ll even talk to Fernando for him. 

Boris nods when Sirius asks him if he would be cool with it but he thinks that Sirius is more nervous than he is about leaving him there, he is honestly sure that he has been at the worst places.

He writes the name of the spot with the address in a black agenda book with white stars and returns to finish his breakfast and when Boris is finishing his bread, he thinks of the letter and he gets an idea. 

At first he wants to ignore it and shake it off but he can’t. 

He wants to, he really does want to ignore it but the letter is still fresh in his mind and it’s not just him thinking it was a genuine attempt to reach him out, to get to know him but…

What if she is looking for help? What if it’s not a trap? What if she is not just lonely but desperate? Scared like his mom used to be? 

He doesn’t know whatever she is going through but he doesn’t think being married to Lucius can be fun, the guy is evil and on top of that he looks boring and annoying but he wouldn’t hit his wife…

Would he? 

Sirius had mentioned that it was an arranged marriage, he can’t imagine that her family would marry her off to someone that would hurt her.

Yeah, of course they are horrible people, they seem like the type of horrible people that wouldn’t care about everyone else dying because they are beneath them, but Narcissa is one of them so they would most likely wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her, they probably saw Lucius as a good option, someone with their same bullshit beliefs and money. 

It’s probably better that she didn’t love him. 

He knows that people think that marrying for love is the best you can do but Boris had never been quite so sure. 

His mom married for love after all. 

Sometimes that’s the hardest part to think about, he still remembers when he was younger and asked her how they met, a guy had tried to steal her backpack, his dad got it back for her and he was excessively charming and he swept her off her feet.

She never knew anyone like him and was head over heels in love with him. 

Then she married him and Boris doesn’t know if that’s when it all started, he doesn’t know when things became bad, if one simple day his mother just wanted to go to the grocery store by herself and he wouldn’t let her because he just loved her so much that he wanted to be with her all the time, he doesn’t know when he started to throw things at her, he doesn't know when things became like that...

All he knows is that he is not mad at her for loving him, he did too at one point and if he isn’t mad at his mom because she ended up married to a dick, then why should he be mad that Narcissa married one when he doesn’t even know her?

He doesn’t know when he makes the decision but it’s not easy, he goes back and forth, after he showers and changes, he checks the address of the spot and he takes out a piece of paper but he doesn’t write anything on it and after drying, he takes out a pencil and even then he isn’t sure but he still scribbles a note with the spot and a time for her to show up before stuffing it inside of an envelope and leaving it in his window. 

If the owl comes back and gives it to her in time and she arrives, well then it’s just fate. 

****  
The rest of the group goes to the meeting on their own but Sirius is going to catch up with them there later because he wants to check the place out before deciding to leave Boris there at the arcade, and wants to make sure that he is in good hands. 

When they arrive, Astrid’s parents are just getting there too and Boris feels like their presence relaxes Sirius a little bit and maybe it’s because Sirius already met Fernando at school pick-up, or that Astrid’s parents are the type who just look friendly and welcoming but also responsible, but after just a few minutes of chatting  
Sirius seems much more comfortable with leaving him here. Sirius gives him a hug before leaving.

The arcade is amazing, there are a lot of games and there is enough space for everyone to walk around without bumping into each other, it’s bright and there is music on but it’s not incredibly loud and he can still hear everyone else and when he makes it completely inside, he can see that there is a cashier with some awards to change for tickets like fluffy toys and candy and some other stuff, he sees that there is a cafeteria in the back, on one side there is a bar with red and yellow stools, he can see a couple of teenagers sitting there sharing ice creams, and there are a couple of other tables and chairs too and he sees a man putting some menus on top as he fixes his apron.

“That’s my uncle!” Astrid tells Boris proudly as she waves at him.

“Sonsonazo!” Fernando says sounding surprised, the man looks up at him and Boris can see the resemblance between the two of them, they had the same noses and eyes, almost the same face, it was striking and noticeable even if the brother had a somewhat messy beard while Fernando was perfectly clean and shaven.

He didn’t think they were twins; his brother was a little lighter than him, while Fernando was beanpole, his brother was bulky and while he is short, Boris can tell that he is older because of his face.

“Zoncito!” he exclaims back pulling him into a hug with repeated pats in the back and he hugs Astrid’s mother as well, he can hear him calling her hermanita linda and making her giggle when he says something else.

“What does that mean?” Gyuri whispers to Astrid.

“Oh, my Uncle likes to call my mom sister, it’s really sweet, he introduced them actually” she explains to them.

“No, I meant before that” Gyuri says, Astrid stares for a second and then nods when she realizes what he is talking about.

“Dumbass and dummy basically but they say it with love so it’s fine” Astrid explains politely before hugging her uncle as well, he picks her up and swings her around for a couple of seconds and kisses her in the forehead and the cheeks, he hears him even singing a little song that makes her laugh a little before putting her down.

“These are my friends Gyuri and Boris, Tio Carlitos” she says happily gesturing towards them, her Uncle smiles at them shaking their hands in a way that it’s almost playful.

“Nice to meet you two” he says, he has an accent that Boris hasn’t quite heard before “My name is Carlos, feel free to ask me for anything”.

They smile and nod towards him while they start to turn their attention back to Astrid as she shows them some of the games but Boris still keeps an ear up to hear what the adults are talking about.

“I thought you didn’t work on weekends” Fernando says, his tone slightly concerned but like he was trying to sound casual at the same time, Boris could see his wife slightly nudging him.

“Joasia is sick” he says simply with a shrug, Boris recognizes the name immediately and needs a second to be sure that they are talking about the same person.

“I thought you said you were going to fire her” Boris freezes when he hears that but quickly realizes that it’s not an accusation or a suggestion, Fernando sounds relieved and he is smiling knowingly like he is saying _I knew you wouldn’t._

“I can’t” Carlos shrugs again, he doesn’t look happy with himself or annoyed with the comment either, he just looks somewhat sad and resigned “Her son showed up to cover her shift but it’s a weekend and I know it can get crowded, I can’t just leave that to a kid”.

Boris eyes widen in that moment, he turns around and checks the cashier in that moment and sees Shirley T wearing a red t-shirt that looks too big for her and she is exchanging yellow tickets for a toy bunny to a little girl, she doesn’t see him and he doesn’t try to get her attention, they’ll have time later.

“Is she alone there?” Astrid’s mom asks, the worry is clear in her voice.

“No te preocupes, Emily” Carlos says tapping her in the shoulder “Mi Andreita took Joasia to the hospital, she’ll be back later, when she is sure she is stable, which  
reminds me that I really need to go back to the kitchen as soon, the teenagers are going to arrive soon and we are short on staff, Liliana is going to stay with the cashier and then we’ll see how we manage”.

“Wait” Emily says, taking her gloves and long jacket off almost like she was preparing for something “Is Liliana going to be here soon?”

“Liliana is coming?” Astrid asks, Boris is surprised to notice that she had also been paying attention to the conversation Gyuri had already started to use one of the machines so he wasn’t as sure.

“Yeah, she just finished her exams so she is” Carlos responds quickly.

“When Liliana arrives, we’ll leave her with the kids and then help you in the kitchen” Fernando says like they were in the same page, Boris was surprised by that, he couldn’t really picture Astrid’s mother who had always looked elegant in a somewhat statuesque type of way with a hairnet in the kitchen, but she smiles and nods like the idea doesn’t bother her at all.

Carlos actually shakes his head and tells them not to worry before leaving to the kitchen when he sees three other teenagers starting to come inside of the store, after that they try some games together with Astrid’s parents looking over their shoulders, Boris looks at the door, every once in a while to see if Narcissa has arrived and he is glad that she hasn’t because otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to talk to her with Astrid’s parents there.

When Liliana arrives, she doesn’t need to introduce herself; he knows exactly who she is when Astrid runs to a tall teenage girl with fluffy ringlets and light brown skin and screams her name like crazy, Liliana doesn’t back down or look turn off by it, she runs towards her, also screaming mi princesa, they hug each other in a way that makes Boris thinks they haven’t seen each other in literal years but as Gyuri tells him it’s been two weeks since they saw each other.

Fernando and Emily talk to her for a second, after introducing them to her, he expects her to look annoyed or say that she has to work and can’t look after them at the same time but she puts her hair up in a ponytail and tells them that she has it covered.

Surprisingly she does.

Boris doesn’t expect her to but she totally does, he has met actual witches now sure, but he swears that Liliana can telesport or something, maybe she is just fast, she is really tall so maybe she just has a better view, when he mentions that to Astrid, she just smiles and nods as she says “She does track for school”.

“She is your cousin, right?” Gyuri asks, looking at her before turning back to the machine.

“Yep” Astrid responds simply “but we are like sisters, we even used to live together when we were little”.

“I used to help her mom to change her diapers” Liliana says, Boris still has no idea when she came back “I even taught her how to walk and I would have taught her first word if my name wouldn’t have been so long”.

“I tried my best but I just couldn’t get it right, my first word was DA-DA” Astrid says almost absentmindedly as Liliana kisses the top of her head.

When they have enough tickets to exchange for awards (they had enough tickets to get a few prizes before but Astrid had insisted to wait to get enough for the good ones) and he goes there with the complete intention to surprise Shirley T but instead he is surprised himself when he sees Myriam is also there, with a brown bag that looks a little greasy and Boris is sure that it’s probably one of Shirley T’s favorite burgers.

“Little man!” Myriam says smiling with disbelief looking at Shirley T like she planned it but she puts her hands up as a sign of innocence.

Myriam runs up to him and hugs him, lifting him up from the floor for a couple of seconds before putting him back down because she notices Liliana giving her a surprised look, Boris didn’t know that they know each other but it seems like they do.

“He is my friend” she says simply, Liliana nods even if the look on her face tells Boris that she isn’t convinced, like she is not about to argue with her but like the conversation isn’t over.

He didn’t know that they knew each other but apparently they do.

They end catching up but it’s short and mostly about Sirius, Myriam just really wants to make sure that he is okay, she was mostly convinced after Shirley T told her how he gave her a hand yesterday but she still wanted to hear it from him and her smile is genuine when he tells her that he is.

When they pick what they want, Astrid decides to get a pink teddy-bear, Gyuri decides to go for a puzzle and Boris ends up with a plushie of a black wolf and a keychain that he is going to give to Sirius later.

He can hear Myriam and Shirley T catching Liliana up on everything, it’s like a very fast version of their friendship story and the important part now is that Boris is adopted and okay.

“At first, I just thought that he was his handsome older brother” Shirley T starts to say and when she notices that he is still listening, she just adds apologetically  
“objectively speaking, his dad is very handsome and young”.

Boris snorts and stands in line to try a new game, when Astrid asks him “Is she the person you were waiting for?”

“What?”

“I noticed that you kept on looking back at the door” she tells him simply “at first I thought maybe you missed your dad or you were bored—”

“I’m not bored” he tells her, sounding a little too strong, he didn’t want Astrid or Gyuri to think that he didn’t care about being with them “I mean I am sort of waiting for someone but I’m not sure she is going to show up”. 

“A girl?” Gyuri asks him, confused. 

“She is Sirius’s cousin” he says, unsure of how to explain that situation.

“Is she supposed to come to watch over you?” Astrid asks, sharing a confused glance with Gyuri. 

“No, they don’t get along, he doesn’t want me to see her”. 

“I’m not following” Gyrui says, shaking his head “then why do you want to talk to her?” 

“I think she might be lonely, that she might need help” he says shifting on his feet uncomfortably “like my mom”. 

Gyuri’s face changes slightly into a more understanding gesture as he turns to Astrid who still looks a little confused but does a sort of nod as she says “you think she is in trouble?” 

“Something like that, I don’t know” Boris tells her numbly, unsure of how to explain his logic when he left the note without having to tell Audrey about his mom and everything that had happened “I’m not really expecting her to show up, I sent her a letter last minute”. 

“Is she a blonde?” Audrey asks him, Boris’s eyes widen in a bit of shock but still nods “then she just arrived”.

Gyuri has a more confused look like he isn’t quite sure what he is looking at but he says “She is pretty, reminds me a bit of my mom”. 

Boris hadn’t seen Gyuri’s mother before but he knew she was blonde and beautiful, still he isn’t able to say anything because he talks over him as he takes Astrid’s arm and links it with his “We’ll cover for you, go talk to her”. 

He finally turns around to see Narcissa, she isn’t dressed like last time, it’s still elegant and polished but it’s not the type of clothes Boris had seen wizards wear at Diagon Alley, it’s a long pastel pink dress that reminds him a flower, she is holding a coat in her hand, her hair is perfectly styled into a side bun, she looks like she is ready to go to a wedding to outshine the bride by accident.

Her face lights up when she sees him, a small smile forming on her face as she approaches him. 

“Good Afternoon” she says politely, her voice is sweet and she talks carefully like she is afraid he might scare him by accident “I’m sorry for being late, I couldn’t find this spot, I have never been before”. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry” he says, unsure of how to continue the conversation “It’s a nice dress by the way, it’s pretty and all but for these types of places...like that woman is wearing jeans”. 

He gestures towards who he assumes is a college student who comes through the door and goes straight for the cafeteria, Narcissa does turn to look at the woman and nods politely in her direction.

“Well, that’s her choice” she says and that’s all Boris needs to hear to understand that she actually feels more comfortable wearing this look than anything else “Are you hungry?” 

“I could eat” he replies a little too curtly. 

He turns to look back at his friends, he sees them all standing together, near the cashier, Shirley T stays right where she is but the rest of them don’t, they move with them to the cafeteria section and sit on a table close to them, he is not sure if they are just checking on him or eavesdropping. 

Liliana does stand up from the table and passes them a menu, he is surprised by the number of things that Narcissa ends up ordering, it’s almost like a mini buffet for him and he doesn’t know what to say to her now, he feels like he is being bribed and only goes for the hot chocolate instead of the cake or the cookies, Liliana is the one to bring all of it and she does give them some odd looks but doesn’t say anything. 

There is some sort of uncomfortable silence before he sees her reach out for something in her purse and she gives him a piece of paper. 

He almost chokes on the hot chocolate when he sees the magic moving picture of Lucius spitting his tea, he swears some of it, it’s even coming out of his nose and in different circumstances he would have find it more gross than funny but the way that his eyebrows are furrowed is just hilarious to him. 

“I said I would bring pictures next time” She says clearly pleased with herself when she sees him smiling. 

“Is that why you came?” he asks looking back at the picture “I mean I’m not complaining but did you want to see me again so badly just to give me the best picture that has ever been taken of your husband? I know you said you wanted to get to know me but it can’t be just that”. 

She stays quiet for a couple of seconds like thinking very carefully of her next words, like she needs to get them right and finally she puts her hands together as she announces with a tone of voice that manages to be both prideful happiness and hesitant fear “Well, no, it’s not just that, I’m pregnant”. 

Now it’s Boris’s turn to think about his next words carefully, he doesn’t know what to say and the first thing that pops up into his head is _Oh no, you are having a baby with Lucius, I thought you were leaving him._ and he doubts she wants to hear that. 

Babies are always good news, he supposes and she does look happy. 

He smiles hesitantly as he starts “Oh so I’m having a…”

He stops himself because he straight up doesn’t know where him and this baby would be in the crazy family tree that is the Black family, for starters he knows he doesn’t belong there and that baby most likely does and yeah, sure maybe Narcissa would want him to look at the baby as a part of the family, but he knows Lucius wouldn’t want that. 

Let alone the rest of that family. 

“You are having a baby!” he says, finally forcing a cheerful tone in his voice “Congratulations”. 

“Thank you” her voice sounds different now more vulnerable but with a lot of determination at the same time, he can see her gulp before admitting almost like it’s too hard for her to say it out loud “I want to be an excellent mother and I’m terrified by the idea of being a bad one”. 

Boris isn’t sure of what to respond to that, what the fuck is he suppoused to say? He knows nothing about mothers, everything that he has left of her are memories and he isn’t sure if he is the person she should be having this conversation with and it takes a second for him to realize that she probably wanted to have this conversation with Sirius and well, she can’t. 

“That’s why I’m here” she continues, her tone of voice sounds a lot more calm now like she is trying to get herself together “because since you do like your dad, what advice would you give?” 

At first he wants to say that he doesn’t like his dad until he realizes that she means Sirius and he does think that Sirius is doing a good job, probably the best. 

“I don’t know what to say or what advice would Sirius give but…” he stops himself for a second, remembering how his mom would pick him up and how she would read to him and would always share her food with him and let him have the biggest part of it and he feels a tightness in his chest as he says “I don’t know if this it’s worth anything to you or if it helps but my mom, she married someone who wasn’t great either, who was...also terrible, and she was still a good mom and I think that you’ll be excellent”. 

She does look comforted by that, her face looks somewhat touched and a genuine smile appears on his face, even if she does look a little sad, she opens her mouth like she is going to ask him a question but then closes it. 

“Thank you” she says, she sounds sincere and surprisingly a little awkward like she is struggling for what to say “What’s your favorite thing about Sirius taking care of you?” 

Boris can’t tell if she is asking him that to coax him into a more comfortable conversation or if this is a different way to get parenting advice but this time the words do come easily to Boris to the point that he needs a couple of seconds to pick a place to start. 

“Well, my favorite thing has to be that he makes me feel safe and he is always there” he can’t help but to smile at that, he had been so alone for so long and he had to admit that since Sirius had appeared he just wasn’t “and when he is not, he worries a lot and he makes me laugh, he gives good hugs, he reads me stories too and he always let me sleep next to him, sometimes he kisses my forehead before saying goodbye, that’s nice too”. 

She sees her smile grow little by little as he talks, it’s like she is melting.

“Oh and the first day I came to live with him, he already had a helmet so that I could ride his motorcycle with him” he says, that’s the first present he got him, he had been thinking of him and he wanted him to be safe “and that was cool too”. 

“That’s lovely” she says even if there is some worry in her face at the mention of the motorcycle “I’m really glad that everything is going well with the two of you”.

He decides not to say that he is surprised that she is not criticizing him and smiles back at her instead so that they can keep having this nice moment instead.

She takes a sip of the cup of tea she had ordered and Boris guesses that it must have run cold by now and decides to finally take a bite of some of the cookies and gets it on his chocolate. 

“I know this will be several months away but would you like to come to the baby’s 100 day celebration?” she asks him, sounding excited and hopeful.

“I don’t think I can,” he answers honestly. 

“I know it would be hard to convince Sirius to let you come on your own”. 

_Difficult?_ Try impossible, he doesn’t think that Sirius would ever let him go and when he thinks about the guest list to that celebration, he doesn’t want to go either. 

“But he can come as well, even if it’s just to watch over you” Narcissa says with so much politeness that Boris wonders if she even knows how delusional she sounds, in what universe would that be a good idea.

“Listen it would just not be a good idea for me or for Sirius to go, like even in the best case scenario I don’t think I would even be able to make it inside because your husband would kick me out, Sirius would get mad and then they’ll probably get into a fight, someone would get hurt, again let’s be honest probably your husband, and your family might call the police and Sirius will have to spent a night in wizard jail or whatever is you call it. And I really think that is probably the best case scenario”.

He expects her to get defensive or angry or tell him that he is wrong but instead he sees her nod slowly like she is starting to see how right he is and it almost feels like the scene is playing inside of her head.

“I’m not trying to be mean” he adds just in case even if he feels like he is only making a solid argument for why he shouldn’t go “I just don’t really think that it would be good for us to go, you understand that, yes?”

“Yes” she nods curtly “Thank you for thinking about that, it was very considerate of you”. 

“Thank you” Boris smiles, pleased with himself. 

She stays quiet for a couple of seconds like she is evaluating her situation, like she wants to create an option for him to still go and Boris lets her because he can’t really offer her anything else.

“I suppose you are right,” she says, she doesn’t sound happy about it but that makes sense, “but I just... think it is such a shame you won’t be able to see your second cousin on that special day”.

“Second cousin? I don’t know that term” Boris says without thinking, then feels the need to add in case it is actually common, “English isn’t my first language...”

“No, it’s fine,” Narcissa says, “second cousins are... when first cousins, usually just called cousins, have children, those children would be second cousins to each other. Sirius and I are first cousins of course, and you are Sirius’s son, so my child would be your second cousin. That actually makes us first cousins once removed, I am your cousin once removed—as in, one _generation_ removed from each other”.

“Oh,” Boris says. He had been wondering how they might be related, even though he is sure no one else wants it to count.

“Boris, your dad just called, he says he’ll be here in twenty to thirty minutes” Liliana says, catching him off guard, he sees her giving Narcissa an urgent look over her shoulder in a way that just says _you should get going_ but manages not to be rude, almost like she is afraid of being in trouble as she puts the check on the table.

Narcissa seems to realize that because she smiles gently at her as she takes out her wallet and Liliana walks away giving them some privacy. 

“When can I see you again?” Narcissa asks him, as she leaves a handful of cash on top of the check, Boris thinks it’s a bit much but he thinks Liliana could use the tip.  
“I don’t know, like I said Sirius doesn’t like leaving me alone, only when he goes to work meetings and he is going to look for a babysitter for me tomorrow” he says, feeling bad when he saw her face fall a little bit “so I don’t know when the next time will be, I might find a way but I can’t promise anything”. 

“Oh I see” she says, her expression still sad. 

“But you are okay, yes? With your baby and your husband” he says trying to make her feel better but a question escapes him “he is not hurting you, is he?”

“Oh no” she shakes her head with a frown on her face “he is not hurting me”. 

Boris relaxes when he hears that “That’s good”. 

He is glad that Narcissa doesn’t ask him any questions about that; instead, he sees her looking over at the table next to them and smiles slightly as she says “I can see you have made some friends”. 

Boris turns to look at his friends, Gyuri and Astrid look away pretending that they are staring at the same Peanuts comic strip, Myriam doesn’t do that, she looks at them directly shamelessly and smiles while she sips on her milkshake, she even waves, almost like she wants Narcissa to be aware that she is right there, only stopping when Liliana turns to tell her something.

“I’m also friends with the cashier,” Boris tells Narcissa as he points back at Shirley T who is busy exchanging tickets for a prize with a little girl. 

“That’s nice” Narcissa replies “Did you meet them all at your school?”

“No, only Astrid” he says gesturing at her direction “I knew Gyuri, the guy sitting next to her, when we were at the orphanage but we do go to school together and the girl who waved at you is Myriam and Shirley T is the cashier, I just met them through life. The girl next to Myriam, though, I only just met her today, she is Astrid’s cousin, her name is Liliana”. 

She smiles appreciatively and he is glad that she doesn’t ask other questions of how Myriam and Shirley T came into his life and instead she says “It’s nice that you are able to go to school with a friend you knew from before, I imagine it’s not easy being the new kid”. 

“I mean it is nice to know someone but my dad used to move around a lot so I was always changing schools, I’m kind of used to being the new kid to be honest with you, Sirius was more nervous about the new school than me”.

She looks like she wants to ask something based on that but then she just says, “I imagine it is hard for most parents to send their child away to school, but especially if it is new. I’m not even a parent yet and I don’t know how I am going to bear saying goodbye”.

“Well it’s not like it’s boarding school, he sees me come back every afternoon”. It feels weird being so wanted, back before, it’s not like his dad cared, he is still getting used to the idea that Sirius actually wants him around.

“That is true... Do you have any favorite subjects at school?”

“Well, I like math...”

“Really?” Narcissa brightens suddenly. “I actually like maths myself”. 

“I thought they didn’t teach math at your school,” Boris says, remembering what Sirius had said.

“Oh, they don’t but we still studied it at home, that’s how I found out I loved them” she explains to him “it became a hobby of mine after that, I ended up practicing maths for fun, and I found I like to play sudoku once in a while”. 

“I have a friend who did too,” he says, remembering Theo who would actually make him play sudoku and the loser had to wash the dishes “I didn’t know you took math lessons, Sirius only mentioned that you would learn different languages”. 

“We did that too, also music and dance lessons” Narcissa nods like she is going through a mental list but shakes her head when Boris tries to offer her one of the cookies “I learned to play piano and violin”.

“Oh, we are going to start taking music classes at school but I think that you can only pick one instrument” Boris says, remembering what the teacher had said “And dance lessons too?”

“Yes, first regular ballroom dance lessons” she says like that’s a normal thing that everyone teaches their kids but who is he to judge? “and then ballet”.

“Ah, that’s nice” Boris nods, he can picture Narcissa as a little girl jumping around in her probably pink tutu “Do you still dance?”

“Ballet? No, not anymore but I did continue with the lessons when I was a teenager and I did enjoy them but eventually I stopped, same with piano lessons even if I still play recreationally and I also still play violin as a way to pass the time”. 

“Oh, did Sirius learn any instruments?” She said we did music lessons so maybe that included Sirius too.

“Oh, yes, everyone learnt piano so he did too, they wanted him to learn a wind instrument for his second instrument, but he hated the piccolo, the flute, the oboe, eventually he decided on the trombone, the music tutors and our parents were not happy because they really meant woodwind, not brass like the trombone, but brass is still in the wind family so he was right in their rules and they knew it, truthfully I think he picked it to annoy Aunt Walburga, trombone as you know is a very... loud instrument. Then later as a teenager when he became interested in muggle music, he picked up the electric guitar somehow, much to the adults’ dismay”.

Boris tries to picture a younger Sirius playing trombone or electric guitar loudly to be obnoxious to his parents and finds that yes, he can definitely see it. 

“It sounds like him” he nods smiling happily as he imagines Sirius as a little kid blasting his trombone on his parent’s face. 

“We used to do these parades, Sirius, Regulus and I, playing our instruments around the house and stomping all over the place” she says looking truly happy when she thinks about that memory “completely Sirius’s idea, of course”.

“Sounds fun” he says laughingly “the adults didn’t like it much, did they?”

“Oh no” She shakes her head as she smiles and at the same time they both manage to say simultaneously “that’s exactly why Sirius liked it”. 

She actually giggles when that happens and Boris feels like her laughing like that isn’t a common occurrence so he feels good about that too. 

“You know him well” she sounds impressed, he laughs a little more, not because of anything funny but because he is just happy, it feels nice. 

“So do you, I guess,” he says, and just like that her face falls “I’m sorry, I just didn’t get the impression that you two were...close, you know from last time”. 

“Well, we were” she says sounding a little defensive “we grew up together”. 

Boris nods, feeling uncomfortable, unsure of what to respond, he knew they grew up together, he knew they were related, he knew they were cousins but he didn’t think that they were like Astrid and Liliana who were like sisters and while he didn’t knew their relationship very well, he could feel the affection and just the need they had to be together that even after just two weeks apart, Astrid and Liliana would run to each other like it’s been twenty years. 

He hadn’t pictured Sirius and Narcissa’s relationship like that, even if he did think they cared about each other, he didn’t think that Narcissa knew Sirius, you can love and care for someone and not know them and a part of him can’t help but ask if she knew him so well, then why was she so surprised when he left, it couldn’t have come so entirely out of nowhere to her, if she knew what he was like, if she knew what he believed in, how could he stay?

That would be like him expecting Theo to stay with him in Las Vegas, it just wasn’t going to happen, that’s not him. 

Of course, he would have liked him to stay but it’s not like he was expecting him to, the moment he saw his mom walk through that door, he knew that it was over for him and he knew that because he knows Theo so if Narcissa knew Sirius so well, why was she so shocked he left?

Obviously he won’t ask that, he feels like he would be stabbing her and then twisting the knife after telling her that no, he actually did not expect for her to know Sirius so well, if at all, he might as well just laugh at her face and say something like _Oh come on, you don’t know THAT MUCH about Sirius, it’s not like you are James._

Because if he is being honest, he has always thought that the person who probably knows Sirius the best is James, he can tell how close they are and that James knows Sirius, he can tell that he knows him implicitly, intimately and fundamentally, Boris thinks he knows him probably better than anyone else in this world. 

And yeah, that includes Narcissa. 

It’s almost a relief when she starts talking again even if all she says is “When he left it was very hard on me and on Regulus too”.

All he can think about when he hears that is _You missed him,_ he actually doesn’t think that Sirius expected to be missed. 

“I imagine it can be hard for you to let go of your younger cousin—”

“Sirius is older than me” she corrects him, looking a little hurt that Boris didn’t know that detail, almost like she is starting to realize how little Sirius has talked about her. 

“Wait? Really?” he asks instead too caught up in the new information “You are younger than him? I thought you were at least a year or two older than him?”

“Yes” she says now looking offended and it sounds like she is saying _Are you calling me old? Are you saying I look old?_

“I don’t think you look old” he says which he realizes sounds terrible but he doesn’t think he can make it worse “You just look very grown up and mature and you are married and have a kid on the way, that’s adult stuff and you are just—you must be eighteen”. 

She doesn’t look fazed and all Boris can think about is that she is just one year older than his mother was when she had him. 

“Yes I am, but, well, Sirius just had you, why doesn’t he look older to you?” she asks him with a quizzical look on her face.

“He is single, I’m adopted, he drives a motorcycle, it’s completely different” he responds with utmost sincerity and he can see Narcissa fighting a smile like she doesn’t want him to know that she found his response funny. 

“He would be so offended by that, you know? He loved being older than me, when he turned thirteen, it was awful, he spent literal months bragging about it to me and to Regulus because according to him he was an old sophisticated mature teenager now, and we were just little kids” she says with mild annoyance but there is some fondness to it like she is remembering a simpler time “it was unbearable”.

“You talk about Regulus a lot” he replies because he has noticed the conversation does seem to come back to him again and again.

“Well, he is my best friend” she responds simply.

Boris wasn’t expecting that response, he doesn’t think it’s weird, he just wasn’t expecting an adult, elegant and poised Narcissa’s best friend would be a teenage boy and he is a little surprised by that. 

“What?” she asks him, she must have noticed that he had found it odd. 

“It’s just funny, you know? You just seem like a very girly girl” he says trying to find the right words “and your best friend is a sixteen year old boy who probably likes sports”. 

“Regulus is very mature for his age, he has great taste in books, he loves to play the piano, and we have a lot in common, also not all teenage boys like sports” she says, Boris nods, it was dumb of him to think that when he knows almost nothing about Regulus…

Except for the fact that he is most likely a death eater that wants him dead.

Then he doesn’t feel so bad for making a simple assumption about him, he wants him dead after all, so who cares if he likes or dislikes sports? Who cares what his taste in books is? Who cares that he likes to play the piano? Who cares if he misses Sirius or not?

“Regulus does like quidditch” Narcissa admits, Boris scoffs a little bit, he was right. 

“But not sports, that’s for muggles and beneath him, right?” he replies, it’s half teasing and half a real question that he has, Narcissa opens her mouth to answer and before she says anything, he says “I don’t want to know anything about Regulus”. 

Her face fell again and he knew that was going to happen, he knows it’s harsh and it’s mean and he knows, maybe that’s the worst part.

“I don’t know what Sirius has told you about him—”

“He hasn’t talked about him that much” Boris says matter of factly and he knows it sounds like he is saying that Sirius doesn’t care about Regulus which he knows he is not true, he saw his face when he talked about him and said that he doesn’t think they’ll ever be on speaking terms again, he was heartbroken “but he has told me that he is most likely a death eater”. 

Narcissa looks down for a second at her hands, clearly conflicted, she opens her mouth like she wants to defend him and Boris knows she is going to defend him and has to bite his tongue from yelling No! because he doesn’t want to hear it and he feels like he is finally understanding how Theo would feel everytime he would defend stupid Larry because he wasn’t so bad when you would compare him to Boris’s dad. 

Theo was right, of course, he was right, they were both terrible, it didn’t matter if one was as bad as the other or not, and Boris just could not see it.  
He would apologize to him but it’s also too late for that now, all he can think about is that he can’t sit here and listen to Narcissa tell him why Regulus is not as bad as Lucius or any other death eater out there.

“He is still considering” she says, he can tell it sounds like pleading and that it’s not directed at him, she doesn’t want him to be a death eater either “he is sixteen, he is just a kid—”

“And I’m eleven, I’m also just a kid and he is just considering putting me in danger like it’s a summer job he has to do” he tells her, he struggles to try to remember what Doctor Green had told him the last time he saw him “and it’s not acceptable for me to get hurt, I don’t deserve to get hurt, I deserve better than that, I won’t get attached to someone that can hurt me, not again”.

He takes a deep breath and tries not to look at Narcissa’s face when he says “I’m not going to go from making excuses for my father to making them for someone else that also doesn’t care about what might happen to me and that I don’t even know, I won’t”.

She looks torn, maybe like part of her wants to argue and part of her knows he is right, and finally says “Fair enough... I understand needing to protect yourself... I have been trying to convince him not to”.

He believes her, but the thing is trying to change someone and make them better, it doesn’t necessarily work. You can try and try but you can’t make them change just by being good and hoping. 

Boris would know, he used to do that with his dad and he is not going to do that with Regulus.

“Listen I know you care about him and he is your best friend and your cousin, and I really do hope that he doesn’t become…that but if we are going to be doing this, then we can’t talk about Regulus, I don’t want to hear about him” he says and tries to force himself not to make a compromise, not to say that they can talk _casually_ about him or she has a limit to mention him, no, he is putting his foot down. 

“I understand” she says with clear sadness in her voice and a pained look in her face but he can tell that she is not just saying that and still trying to convince him that he is wrong, she really does understand “I won’t talk about Regulus anymore, I promise that”. 

Boris takes a deep breath of relief and feels glad that worked, otherwise he was going to have to tell her that he can’t see her again and he does want to see her.  
Who knows? Maybe it’ll be like Lily and Snape, maybe Narcissa is trying to hold on so hard to the past that just like Lily, she doesn’t realize that the young boy she knew is not there anymore and she just can’t see it, she thinks he is different, she thinks he is going to change back to the person he used to be but he won’t, she thinks he’ll change but he won’t. 

Boris has a hard time believing that people will change and the worst part is that if he is being honest with himself, it is not just about Regulus putting him in danger or hating him, it’s that he probably wants him to be taken away from Sirius, he probably doesn’t want _his brother_ taking care of a _lowly muggle_ like him and knowing that makes him feel completely okay with not caring about Regulus becoming a better person or not.  
He doesn’t tell Narcissa that.

“Have you chosen an instrument?” She asks, at first the question confuses Boris but he realizes that she is trying to come back to their old more comfortable conversation, and well, he did just say to stop talking about Regulus “For your music lessons at school?”

“Oh no, we are choosing next week” Boris tells her, he hadn’t even given it much thought “I might pick a trombone or a guitar, make it a family thing or something”.  
She smiles back at him looking a little amused “Is your teacher nice?” 

“Oh, yeah, she is, they are all nice to be honest even the history teacher, I don’t care much for the course but he gives you cookies, if you answer correctly and I could get used to that, he bakes them himself that’s how you know it’s good”. 

She nods and this time when Liliana shows up this time, she doesn’t have to say anything, it’s clear that their twenty minutes have been spent and that Narcissa needs to leave soon, she does mumble a thank you when she stares at the cash in shock and stuffs part of it inside of her pocket as she walks away from them. 

“It was really good to see you and I hope we’ll get to see each other again soon” He says, feeling like he sounds way too formal considering everything that they just told each other. 

“I’ll write” she says and it sounds like a promise and he believes her. 

He does go to hug her when she stands up to put her coat on and it’s strange, a little stiff, he can tell that she is just not used to hugging but she doesn’t turn him away and it’s pleasant and he can’t tell what kind of perfume she is wearing but it manages to be both floral, rich and a little bit sweet. 

Boris doesn’t walk her to the door but he does stand up to see her go and hopes she makes it home safely, she turns back twice to wave at him and once she is finally out of sight, he sits back down to find that the rest of his friends have joined the table where Narcissa was and had decided to finish the mini buffet she left behind.

“We can’t waste food,” Gyuri tells him as he stuffs his own mouth with cookies “that would be rude”.

“How did it go?” Astrid asks him as she picks up her fork and takes a bite of the untouched chocolate cake. 

“It went well, I think” he says, looking at Myriam who had stayed at another table, he made a gesture for her to join them but she shakes her head as she stands up, almost as if it is her way to say _don’t worry, I’m good, my job here is done._

“Myriam!” Liliana says stopping her and picking up one of the plates where three brownies had been and offers the plate in her direction and then gesturing towards Shirley T at the cashier, clearly a sign for them to share it together.

Myriam doesn’t look convinced but after a second she nods and takes the plate there and as they eat, Boris smiles, staring at the clock in the wall, he wonders if they’ll be able to finish everything before Sirius arrives in nine minutes.

He doesn’t think they can but he loves a challenge and there is a certain comfort in knowing that Sirius will wait for him, if he doesn’t have it finished, and to know that he is not worried or relieved when he sees his motorcycle appear because he knew he’ll come. 

When he sees him walk through the door, he feels happy for the first time in so long with no excuses.


	9. Sirius Black's week from hell part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's like a very bad week for Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings: mentions of cutting, mentions of domestic abuse, mentions of murder, mentions of child abuse.

Sirius calls to say that he’ll be there in twenty or thirty minutes. 

He knows that he doesn’t _have to_ drive Remus to his mum’s work, he is not doing it just because he needs Veronica’s phone number, if it was just that, he would just wait until they both make it home, let Remus talk to his mother and then Remus would call him to give him Veronica’s phone number and it won’t be a big deal.

He knows it’s not technically a big favor, that’s not why he offers to drive him there after the Order meeting is finished.

It’s because Remus called to his house from a payphone to try to talk to his mum, only for his father to tell him that his mum is at work and he is standing right next to him and he can see a worried expression on his face, he doesn’t know if it’s because Remus doesn’t like the idea of his mother coming back home late by herself or the fact that she is working on a Sunday, he knows Remus is protective of his mother in a way that used to cause him bewilderment when he was younger.

He saw his face and before he knew it, he had said “I’ll drive you there if you want to pick her up”.

And to his surprise, Remus actually says yes.

Things are better between them recently, he can tell but he is still a little shocked when he says Yes, thank you without any other protests besides his _I promise we won’t take too long, I know you have to pick Boris_ and another _Thank you_ after that, which doesn’t count.

He doesn’t try to bring much attention to it, but he can tell James looking gleeful when he hears that he is going to drive Remus there, even if he does try to hide it, it’s obvious that he is happy that they are spending time together and James has always been rooting for their friendship to go back completely to the way it was before fifth year and Sirius thinks that he sees the time they are spending together as baby steps in that direction.

Sirius also thinks that James is too much of an optimist sometimes, he doesn’t think it’s possible for them to get that back and he knows it is his fault and there is a part of him that has made peace with the fact that Remus might not ever fully trust him again.

Even if there is a bigger part of him that doesn’t want to think about that at all.

Especially now that things are better between them.

He flies him to his mother’s workplace, he has been there before but it’s been a while, Remus’s mother works as a seamstress at a dress shop, it’s a two-floor pink house with a beautifully painted sign that has the name of the place,_Stitch by Stitch,_ written with the decoration of a pair of scissors and a needle next to it. 

Sirius considers waiting outside but when the greeter greets Remus and leaves the door open for Sirius to follow, he does it on a whim but decides that it’s a good idea since Remus doesn’t complain and after all it’s probably that if Remus’s mother is there, it’s likely that Carmela is there as well and it’s been a while since he has talked to either her or her husband Alejo recently.

He hasn’t visited Alejo’s bookshop lately, he thinks that it might have been a month from the last time they saw each other, after he was let out of hospital and while Alejo was good then, he hadn’t seen him since, he kept saying that he’ll go to the bookshop eventually but it felt like every time he had wanted to go, something came up. 

Sirius had always loved going to that bookshop, not just because of the books, even if it had been helpful to find a place that had the same book in so many different languages but also because the first time Remus had taken him there, Alejo gave him a friendly smile before making him go through all the different books that he thought Sirius might be even remotely interested in. 

His son Lucas worked there as well and he was nice but Sirius had always preferred going on the days that he knew Alejo would be there, they just had a similar sense of humor, he knew exactly what books suggest and later on he found out he had an amazing taste in music, eventually he even taught him how to play electric guitar.  
He paid for those lessons, of course and he eventually even bought the electric guitar that Alejo used to teach him and while it’s old and has some stickers in the back that he can’t get out, it’s also in good conditions and with the right maintenance, it works perfectly. 

They walk past a couple of women on their way inside, clearly preoccupied with their own conversation and making it home in time, when he hears one of them worry about making it home late _again,_ losing her last babysitter because of that and not wanting to lose the new one because she was one of the good ones.  
Sirius actually hadn’t thought about that, the worst part of the meetings is that he didn’t know when they were coming or how long they were going to last, and he can imagine that would bother any babysitter.

Now he is worried that he is also going to lose his at the moment nonexistent babysitter or not even get one of the good ones. 

What does that even mean?

Remus makes a gesture for him to follow him and they walk past a couple of empty desks with sewing machines on top and then he sees Hope working feverishly on a dress with balloon sleeves, there is a pencil on top of her head, nestled within her hair, and she has her hair up in a tight bun, her forehead is deeply furrowed and her posture is rigid, almost bristling, stiff and aggressively tense, it reminds Sirius of Remus studying before his exams, she even cranes her neck the way he did.

“Mum” Remus says, she looks up then and when she sees him standing there, her face lights up. 

“Remus, what a nice surprise” she says, carefully settling down the dress and fixing her glasses before pulling him into a brief hug but she doesn’t let go of him right away, she cradles his face for a second before giving him a kiss on each cheek. 

She looks at Sirius then and smiles at him in a way that he isn’t sure that he has seen before and opens her arms to pull him into an affectionate hug “Sirius, congratulations”.

Her hugs always last a little longer and stronger than what he is used to, even if he knows that she is hugger by now, he is always a little taken back by it.

“Thank you so much” he says, when she pulls away from the hug.

“Remus has talked about Boris so much that I feel like I know him already” she says with this adorable expression on her face and Sirius just knows that she is picturing Boris and he almost wishes that he had a picture to show her.

And now he finally understands why people bring pictures of their kids on their wallets.

“He would love to meet you” he says and he knows that’s true. 

He is sure that Boris is going to love Hope, she is just adorable, Sirius isn’t sure if there is any other way to describe her, he does remember one time when Peter had been drunk and had described her as _angelic_ and there was some truth to it, her face just had this welcoming and openness, it just felt like it radiated warmness. 

Sirius remembered how much Remus had missed her during their first years at Hogwarts, especially after going through a particularly difficult full moon, he remembers how there were tears running down his cheeks, Peter had asked if he had anything that would make him feel better and Remus had said _I want my mum_ before starting to sob.

James had been the one to comfort him, Sirius had no idea how and he definitely didn’t understand how Remus’s mother was supposed to help him, he had no idea that parents are supposed to be a place of comfort for their children.

That was the complete opposite of what Walburga was to him.

“Sirius actually wanted to ask you a favour” Remus says, awkwardly fidgeting with his hands “He is looking for a nanny or a babysitter for Boris and since you told me the other day that your friend Veronica runs a nanny agency—”

“Say no more, I’ll call her right now and see if she can squeeze you in for an interview tomorrow”. 

Sirius wants to protest that he only wanted the phone number but the moment that he hears that he has to get an interview, he knows that means that there is more likely a waiting list and he would have had to suffer through a couple of those when he had to get all his papers for the adoption if he hadn’t been able to bullshit his way through it so instead he says “Thank you so much”. 

“Don’t worry, just give me a second, I have it right here” she says turning around and taking out a red agenda book from her desk and opening it, Sirius can see some scribbled notes and things that are crossed out, he has no idea how she is going to find the phone number but she does it almost immediately and frankly it makes sense, Remus is like that too, his space is usually a very organized mess “Remus, please pass me an empty piece of paper, please”. 

He does but he notices him frown while looking at other already written pieces of papers on his mother’s desk and he stops for a second and Sirius can hear a hint of horror when he asks “Mum, are you making a wedding dress for Petunia Evans?” 

“No, I don’t think so,” she says, shaking her head with a frown, Sirius almost let out a sigh of relief until he heard continue with “Petunia Dursley”. 

“That’s Vernon’s last name, isn’t it?” Remus says, he sounds like a person in a horror movie asking if the monster is standing behind him, Sirius nods, he is pretty sure that’s his last name. 

“A lot of brides come over already using the last name of the groom, it’s completely normal, she is coming on Monday to talk about the dresses for her maids of honor and then we’ll talk about the possibility of us making her wedding dress” she says with a confused look on her face until something clicks “Wait! Evans?”

“Yes, she is Lily’s sister” Remus says, his tone of voice flat.

“Lily’s sister is getting married? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“We are not invited to the wedding” Remus replies simply with a shrug, his mother tilts her head and looks at him disapprovingly, almost like he knows that’s not what she is referring to “So you haven’t talked to her yet”. 

“No, like I said she is coming tomorrow, until now I have only talked to her mother in law and sister in law” she says scrunching up her nose in distaste when she remembered the interaction. 

“Have they been rude to you?” Remus asks her with an already angry look on his face that Sirius knows a little too well but Hope doesn’t look worried, she only smiles back at him like she finds it adorable and pats his face softly. 

“It’s sweet that you worry but I’ll have you know that I can deal with rude clients perfectly fine” she takes the paper from his hand and then turns to Sirius “I’ll be back in a minute, I won’t take too long”. 

He only nods quietly when he is left alone with Remus and he wishes that James was here to ease the tension and erase that look from Remus’s face. 

But he isn’t, it’s just them. 

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think Petunia is going to be rude to your mum” he tries, even if he frankly expects the worst from her “Hope is a literal angel and she is clearly great at her job”.

The dress that is on her desk at the moment is a pink formal dress with flowers and sheer balloon sleeves, it’s really beautiful, he could see Narcissa wearing something like this and she only ever wore designer brands. 

Remus looks at the dress and then back at him completely unimpressed “We are still talking about the same woman that yesterday looked at your eleven year old and the best she could come up with was, _Oh well, at least he is normal”._

“Don’t even remind me, the only reason why I didn’t say anything is because I thought she was going to say something MUCH worse—”

“Hope, I’m leaving—” 

Carmela stops, staring at them surprised to find them there and Sirius is glad to see her there, Remus does greet her first with a kiss on the cheek and a hug, he does the same and can’t help but feel a little awkward when she says that it’s been a while. 

“Yeah, it has” he admits nodding and then asks feeling both worried and a little self conscious “How is Alejo? I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to go to the bookstore recently”. 

“Ay” she says waving her hand off dismissively like she is telling him not to worry about it “He is fine, he’ll be annoyed to hear you asking about him like that, he is not an old man”. 

Sirius snorts, remembering how the first time they met, Remus had actually called him Mr.Rodríguez and struggled to call him by the first name, he kept saying _Alejo a secas, please, son, you are making me feel old._

“Besides, he survived cancer and he survived the heart attack, at this point, God just doesn't want to take him” she says making Sirius laugh, after seeing how worried she had been about the possibility of losing him, there was something comforting about being able to joke about it. 

“Carmelita” Hope says, walking towards them shaking her head in disapproval, even if she is smiling. 

“What?” she says with a shrug like it’s not a big deal “Hope, you are in your forties, you don’t get to joke about death, but I'm well into my sixties, I’m allowed”. 

Hope only shakes her head again as she passes the piece of paper to Sirius “I talked to her, this is the address and the time is right under it, don’t be late”. 

“Thank you so much,” he says profusely. 

“Are you going for a job interview?” Carmela asks him. 

“Oh no, I’m trying to find a babysitter for my son”. 

He sees Carmela give him a smile similar to the one Hope gave him when she saw him, except that there is this slight concern there but no judgement there as she puts him into a hug “Congratulations, a child is always a blessing no matter when or where he came from”. 

“This one came from an orphanage” he tells her while patting her on the back, he is not sure if he has ever hugged her before but it feels like the comforting hug from the loving grandmother he never had “I have adopted an eleven year old, his name is Boris”. 

“Now, that sounds more like you” She pulls away from him then, she has this good and gigantic smile on her face when she pats him on the shoulder “bring him to the bookshop, I'm sure Alejo has all types of children’s books that he would love to show him”. 

“Of course” he says but he doesn’t promise when, he just hopes it’s soon. 

They walk outside together then, Sirius sees them get inside of Carmela’s car after she offers to drive them home and he waves away before getting on his motorcycle to go to pick up Boris at the arcade, he finds him huddled up with Gyuri and Astrid finishing a chocolate cake and eating some cookies.

He is surprised when he goes and sees Myriam and Shirley T sitting together at the cashier spot, he waves in their direction, Shirley T waves back and he sees her whisper something on Myriam’s ear who stares back at him like she is studying him and nods, she waves at him as well.

When he thanks Fernando for everything, he only laughs and the first thing he says to him is “I’m sorry that we are returning him to you all hyped up on sugar”. 

Boris shows him that he won a fluffy toy of a black wolf that he finds strangely adorable and then he searches inside of his pocket and both excitedly and shyly shows him that he got him a key chain of a little red and gold guitar. 

“I actually play the electric guitar” he tells him as he puts his key there immediately. 

“I chose it for the colors, it reminded me of the scarf you gave me” he smiles at him and Sirius kisses his forehead before picking him up and taking him home. 

****

Sirius usually wakes up an hour before Boris does. 

To shower, change his clothes, get the breakfast ready for the two of them and make Boris’s lunch.

Today he woke up two hours earlier and he can’t fall asleep again, he spends twenty minutes looking at the ceiling before carefully standing up from the bed and making sure not to wake Boris up. 

He proceeds with his routine until he is in the middle of finishing his first cup of coffee when the telephone rings and hears Mrs.Winkle’s voice, she sounds like she is also having her first cup of coffee of the day “Good morning, Mr.Black, I’m sorry if I’m waking you up”. 

“Good morning, Mrs.Winkles” he responds, leaning his face in his hand “Don’t worry, I have been up for a while”.

“I have good news” she says even if she doesn’t sound cheerful “there was a little progress made, they were able to identify her”. 

“That’s great,” Sirius says, even if his mouth tastes like ash now, “do you know when they will be able to return the remains so Boris can have a funeral?”

She sighs and he can hear the ruffle of some papers “Mr.Black, perhaps if you have time today, we should see each other today”.

“Is there something wrong?” Sirius asks, already dreading the answer.

“No, we just have to go through some paperwork together to make sure that this goes smoothly and to avoid more troubles but no, there is nothing wrong” she says but it doesn’t sound genuine “I also asked for you to have a two week long extension for the recommendation letters”.

“Thank you, that’s very helpful, I was able to find two people who will do it but I’m having trouble finding the third” he says letting out a sigh of relief even if he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong “At what time would you be arriving today?”

“Don’t worry, I know your schedule” she tells him in a way that’s almost too casual when not even Sirius is sure of his own schedule if he can call it that “I’ll be there like an hour after Boris is out of school, you don’t have any work meetings today, right?”

“I sure hope not” he responds, she laughs like he is joking. 

“See you then, Mr.Black” she says before hanging up. 

Sirius stays there for a couple of seconds, just drinking his coffee, thinking about what she might want to talk to him about before remembering that he also has the meeting with Veronica and he takes the piece of paper that Remus’s mother had given him, he didn’t even check the time.

He is stuck in between both relief and annoyance when he realizes that the meeting actually takes place when he should be going to pick up Boris from school but that he still has enough time to make it home to Mrs.Winkles. 

“Hey” Boris is standing there, rubbing his eyes and yawning. 

“What are you doing up so early?” Sirius asks him worried, maybe the phone call had woken him up. 

“You weren’t in bed” he shrugs, he pulls the chair and sits down next to him “Did you get any news about my mom?” 

“She has been identified,” he answers honestly, he sees Boris look back at him with surprise, there is relief but also almost like he can’t quite believe it, Sirius puts his hand on his shoulder and waits for his reaction.

“She was?” he says, still sounding a little shocked, Sirius nods “How did they identify her? Her face or how?”

“I don’t know that part” he answers, he didn’t think of asking that, he didn’t think that Boris would want to know that, he had honestly just felt a huge sense of relief knowing that she had been identified, when he talked to Mrs.Winkles on Saturday, she had been really worried that they wouldn’t find a way to get DNA evidence to match with Boris and they just wouldn’t be able to get any evidence “I just talked to Mrs.Winkles, she is coming over today so that we can start the paperwork to…”

“Get her here?” Boris finishes for him, he was going to say _get her remains_ but yeah that works too.

“Yes” he nods, hoping that Boris won’t ask him when because he has no idea.

Boris doesn’t, he asks “Do you know how she died?” 

Sirius shakes his head, because he doesn’t know anything for sure, but he can’t imagine that it had been a peaceful death, the person who had written the newspaper article had talked about the blood spots in the house and come up with theories about how it had happened, each one worse than the last. 

He is unsure if Boris is asking him because he doesn’t know and wants to know the answer or if he knows it already and wants to tell him. 

“Do you think they’ll tell me?” Boris asks and starts talking before Sirius can even think of the answer “I don’t think they will, nobody told me anything when my dad was arrested so why now?”

“The circumstances are different, when he was arrested they were still investigating charges, I think there are some rules about not sharing information about ongoing investigations, especially as you were a potential witness, but now he has had his trial and he is already convicted and sentenced” he says, trying to be more specific because maybe details will help reassure Boris, even if he is unsure himself about what might happen.

“Do you think they’ll tell you? Because you are an adult, they might not tell me because I’m a kid and they think I can’t handle it but I can” Boris asks him, it also sounds like pleading and it hurts to be asked for something that he is not sure if he can even give “If they tell you, then you’ll tell me, yes?” 

He doesn’t know what to say at first, he is not even sure if they are going to get that information first and he doesn’t like the idea of telling Boris the gory details of his mother’s death, the idea of having to look at Boris and tell him that actually makes him physically ill but he also doesn’t like the idea of him finding out through the newspaper either. 

If he wants to— 

No, if he needs to hear it, then he’ll hear it from him. 

He nods yes even if he feels a sinking feeling in his stomach, Boris gives him a sad smile that leaves his face relatively quickly as he says “He told me that when she jumped out of the window, the fall was what killed her and I believed him then but...he lied a lot and I don’t know what to believe anymore”. 

Sirius isn’t sure of what to do at first, of what to say or how to fix this and all he can do is really pull Boris into a tight pressure hug and think that he is sure that he has never hated someone that he has technically never met as much as he hates Boris’s father.

Boris hugs him back and he is not crying, he is just quiet for a while, he snuggles closer to him. 

“They got into a fight that day, they always had them, he’ll hide her stuff and he’ll make her mad and then he’ll laugh at her” Boris tells him, sounding tired but he doesn’t sound sleepy, it’s almost like he saw the same thing happen too many times “he wouldn’t always hit her, he would smash food at her or throw garbage at her hair and other days when he was on a bad mood, it was all at the same time but I don’t know, I wasn’t always there, she would lock me inside of the closet or the bathroom so that I wouldn’t see”.

Sirius strokes his hair, unsure of what else to do but listen and he thinks it wasn’t just that she didn’t want him to see even if he knows that he wouldn’t want Boris to see anything like that either, he thinks she might have been trying to avoid anything else his father might have wanted to do to him.

“But when I was there, he would usually choke her and then it was over” Boris says like he is describing a routine, he doesn’t even sound sad anymore, it’s just pure resignation “but that day, he wouldn’t stop and he wouldn’t leave and he didn’t let her get me to the bathroom, I didn’t know why he was so mad, we didn’t even do anything that day”. 

He sounds distraught at the end, genuinely confused like even after all the time that has gone by, he is still wondering why it happened like he wants an explanation and when he hears that he can’t help but to think about is that one time he talked back to Walburga to ask her that same question and she said _Nobody gets hit without a reason_. 

He wishes he would have known back then that there is no good reason to hit a kid. 

“He started to choke her which usually meant that things would be over but that time he picked her up” he says like he is struggling to describe it “and she was hitting him but it wasn’t working and we were at the kitchen, we were eating breakfast before and I saw the kitchen knife”. 

Sirius can’t help but to think about that one day he left Boris alone and that kitchen knife on the floor, he knew that he grabbed it to defend himself, he knew that he had done it before, even if he didn’t want to think about it but now it’s all he can really think of. 

That and the fact that Boris felt like he was in a position where he would have to do it again.

And that Sirius let it happen.

That he wasn’t there. 

“She didn’t usually just leave them there” Boris separates from him then like he needs to look at him in the face when he tells him this part because it’s important that his mother didn’t just leave knifes around the house, like Sirius would ever judge her “she used to hide them, she didn’t like to leave pointy stuff around the house, I never had scissors when she was there and she used to be very careful with her needles too, even if she washed them with soap, they would always be far away from me”. 

He nods to let him know that he understands and is actually a little shocked that in the little control that woman had of her own life, she managed to make sure that his son would never have scissors, like she wanted to protect him from even cutting himself by accident.

Walburga who was in control of everything, never cared for that, never noticed that Sirius would cut himself on purpose. 

“Anyway I made a run for it,and I grabbed it and I stabbed him” he says mechanically, almost numb “in the leg, it didn’t do much but he dropped her and she told me to _bieg_,it means run in Polish and I did, I ran but the door was closed and so were the windows of the first floor”.

“So you jumped from the second floor?” Sirius asks him because he thinks that’s what he might have done but when he thinks about Boris jumping from a second floor, specially being that young,_he must have been six or seven,_ he feels a monstrous level of anxiety that he is not used to. 

“Yes, I ran upstairs, my mom was finally able to follow me, we couldn’t close the door because he broke it and she was trying to hold it” Boris says gritting his teeth like that’s the part that gets him the most angry, that there was really no way out “he was really upset and she was worried about what he might do and I was scared so I jumped and I could hear her telling me to _bieg, Borya, bieg, nie oglądaj się za siebie,_ to not look back and when I was far away enough I heard a crack and it wasn’t a normal crack, it was like when a bone is broken”. 

Sirius nods, he doesn’t want to know how Boris knows how a bone sounds when it’s broken, even if he himself learned that at age ten, after being _difficult_ with his mother at a particularly important dinner party. 

“I left for a week, I only lasted a week outside” Boris tells him sounding disappointed in himself like he was supposed to know how to survive by himself at that age “when I came back, he told me that she died because of the fall but he would always lie to me about everything and I keep thinking _What if she didn't?_

Sirius nods, thinking that they should be able to see that in an autopsy, even if she had been dead for a couple of years, they should be able to find something, they should be able to tell them the cause of death. 

“I know she is dead but I don’t want to believe that she suffered more than she already did and I can’t stop thinking about it and I need to know” he says sounding a little desperate, Sirius nods along to his words before cradling his face and kissing his forehead.

“Boris, I promise that I’m going to look into it” he tells him, Boris looks up at him with a relieved smile before pulling him into a hug.

“I knew that you would understand” he says before letting go “I’m going to get ready for school now”. 

“Alright—Wait, today James might have to come to pick you up” he says even if he hadn’t asked James to pick up Boris for him, he doesn’t think James would say no, he likes Boris. he’ll say yes.

“New meeting with the Order?”

“No, I have to go to the interview for the nanny” he tells him as he walks to the fridge to start breakfast “I haven’t called him yet—”

“You could also ask Uncle Remus to come pick me up” Boris suggests, fidgeting with his hands, looking up at him with what Sirius can only describe as nervously cheeky “I just mean that he has gone before and it would be practical”. 

“Do you want Remus to come pick you up?” he asks him, a little amused, Boris nods with a shrug. 

“But if you don’t want to or he can’t, it’s cool” he responds nervously “and Uncle James is cool too, I just—”

“I’ll call him right now” he says, starting to dial the telephone while Boris beams before he runs in direction to his room to get ready. 

It takes a second for Remus to pick up the telephone and Sirius can tell that he just woke him up because the first thing he says to him is “What?”

“Good morning to you too”.

“What are you even doing up right now?” he asks him while yawning. 

“I have a son that I take to school every morning, I wake up early” he says mildly annoyed.

“Wait, is Boris okay?” Remus asks then fully up, Sirius can hear the concern in his voice and that he just stood up, he can even imagine him looking for his shoes “Is he sick? Does he have fever? Is it a cold—”

“He is fine” he says stopping Remus before he appears in his house with a lemon tea that he swears cures colds better than magic “I just have a problem, the appointment with Veronica is at the same time that I pick up Boris from school and I told him that James could go pick him up but he said he wanted _YOU_ to do it”.

There is a moment of silence in which Sirius thinks that Remus might have hung up on him but then he hears his voice sounding oddly flattered “Really? He said that?”.

“Yes, I think you might be his favorite” he says, there is another moment of silence and then a noise that he assumes means that Remus just sat on his bed again “so anyway, can you?” 

“Yes, I’ll be there” he says, sounding nervous but also like he is looking forward to it “Just give me the address and the time, I don’t want to get anything wrong—should I cook for him too?”

“If you want to, but you can also order pizza” he says, he knows that Remus knew how to cook, he probably cooked the most out of all of them and could probably make anything with only certain things in the refrigerator but he is already asking him to pick up his kid and asking him to cook for him too feels like too much “Do you have a place to copy the address?” 

Sirius ends up giving him the address and the time he has to be there, he ends up making an omelette that he and Boris finish relatively quickly before making his lunch and taking him to school.

****

After dropping off Boris, Lucille and him go on their mission to find her a new and better apron and end up going to a flea market where she bought it the last time and since she is there, she decides to buy three just in case the accident repeats itself, apparently a man telling his wife that he cheated on her and causing her to be so shocked that she throws her coffee all over the waitress is a common appearance.

She buys three identical grey aprons and when Sirius sees her staring at a red apron patterned with white polka dots and then she gasps because it has pockets, he decides to buy it for her. 

“Thank you! This is so nice! I’m not even going to take it to work, it’s staying at home for when I bake a cake” she says pulling him into a quick but affectionate hug “Oh I have to make you one—”

He is already shaking his head when the old woman at the spot tells her “You and your boyfriend are really sweet”. 

“Oh no, he is not my boyfriend” she says politely, shaking her head. 

She looks at them tilting her head and Sirius sees how her expression turns horrified and then apologetic as she says “Oh, I’m so sorry, he is your brother, I can see the resemblance now, it’s so sweet to see a brother being so sweet to his sister”.

Sirius is about to point out that they don’t even look alike, they don’t have the same hair color, he has black hair, Lucille has auburn brown hair and he has grey eyes and Lucille’s eyes are brown, he has a different skin tone than her, golden tanned while she is pinker, their faces are shaped differently, he has a sharp defined jawline while her face is a softer oval, he is East Asian mixed with Southeast and some white while Lucille is Korean, but Lucille links arms with him and takes him away as she says “We are really just good friends”. 

“So how was your romantic afternoon with Nick?” he asks her as they walk away together.

“Oh perfect, we were finally able to go for a picnic which is something we have been wanting to do for a while now, then we went for a walk just the two of us to talk and then we picked up Gyuri and thank god, he was tired because so were we and he spent the night at our apartment so it was a good day” she says sounding perfectly content “A good weekend really, on Saturday we went to buy more things for our apartment, nothing big or anything like that, just pillows and some frames to put the pictures and making the place to just feel more lived in”. 

Sirius nods, he knows what she is talking about, his living room does feel more empty now that he has to hide his magical pictures, not from Boris of course but for social worker checks, right now the closest thing he has to photos are the photobooth strips on his fridge of the times that the Marauders have gone to the mall. 

Maybe he should start taking muggle pictures—

“Oh shit, pictures” he says, getting an odd look from Lucille “Would it be okay if we go to pick up some pictures of Boris and me? I told the store that I would pick them up and then never did, I swear it’s not too far away from here, if you don’t want to walk—”

“Don’t worry, I like walking, let’s go” she says as they keep going “Anyway that was my weekend, how was yours?” 

Sirius doesn’t know what compels him to tell her everything as soon as she asks him but he does, he tells her about them going roller skating, then to Lily’s house and finally he tells her about what happened at the bathroom with the newspaper and how Boris looked up to him helplessly pointing at it and all he managed to say was I’m sorry.

“It was a genuine apology” he admits, remembering how he felt in that moment “I wasn’t just sorry that it happened at all, I was sorry he found out that way, I was sorry that he ever went through that and most of all I was sorry that I didn’t knew what to do, what to tell him, how to fix it and all I could think about is that I fucking hate that man, I don’t care if I never meet him, I hate him”.

He expects her to ask him to calm down but she doesn’t, she listens to him and then she nods as she says “I think you are allowed to hate people you haven’t met, specially when they have caused so much damage to someone that you love”. 

Sirius doesn’t need her to tell him who she is talking about, he nods as well “Like you hate Nick’s parents”.

“I’ve met his parents” she reminds him “only once but we’ve met and I hate them and I hate their whole family as well, even if I haven’t met them”. 

He has to bite his tongue not to say that she is not missing anything special, instead he asks her “How did it go with his parents? You said you met but you never told me how it went, did they ask to meet you? How did that even happen?”

She sighs and then laughs a little as she says “I always thought it’s my fault that we met, to be honest”. 

“You asked to meet his parents?” Sirius asks her, she shakes her head and laughs some more, she sounds almost embarrassed like she doesn’t want to tell him something.

“No, before I dated Nick, I dated other men that weren’t very nice to me, they didn’t want to be seen with me in public or for me to meet his parents or their friends and it would really hurt my feelings like why do I have to be your dirty little secret?” she says without looking at him in the eye “and during that period of time, Nick was one of my best friends—well, he is still is but you know what I mean, the point is that he got a front row seat to that shitshow and when we got together, he wanted or maybe needed to prove to me that he was different, that he was better than those guys, that he was serious about our relationship”. 

Sirius nods, unsure of what to say besides the fact that those guys were complete dicks that didn’t deserve Lucille anyway.

“During the first few months, he would take me to clubs, really expensive restaurants, just any public place and he would introduce me to everyone as his girlfriend, even poor bystanders” she lets out a little laugh but she sounds somewhat touched “and I know it doesn’t like much but Nick doesn’t like clubs”.

“I can’t picture Nick at a club” he admits honestly “I seriously can’t picture him even if my life depended on it so the fact that he would go for you SEVERAL times, it’s sweet”.

“He prefers bars to be honest” Lucille nods laughingly “he thinks clubs are loud and obnoxious and he is not much of a dancer and he doesn’t like really expensive restaurants either or talking to strangers so to know that he was doing all of that for me, it meant a lot, it still does but that’s not who he is, he doesn’t like to do those things so it’s good that we’ve moved past that”.

He nods, he imagines it’s probably that stage when relationships just become more serious but also more comfortable, James said that he always knew he was going to marry Lily because he loved being with her even when they were doing nothing.

“And one day I was at his apartment, we’ve been together for a couple of months and things had sort of calmed down, we were watching T.V. and eating take out, it was a normal Saturday when his parents called” she says with this hard look on her face “and that is what I hate the most about them, they just call like it’s not a big deal and spring on him that they will be coming over and they do it once every year, always on random dates with no warning, like Nick doesn’t have plans, like he doesn’t have a life or anything better to do than to hang out with those two assholes and they feel like parents of the year, I honestly wonder if they are that stupid or if they are just that cruel that they think it’s okay to do that”. 

“Both but probably more stupid than anything” Sirius responds self-assured, of course those two idiots would play it like that, like it’s a favour to visit their own son “so they called and just told him that they were coming over?” 

“They wanted to take him out to dinner” she scoffs with a disgusted expression on her face _“You can pick any restaurant you want, Eric,_ fuck them, they always make him pick out the restraurant, you want to know why? Because they have no idea of where to take him because they have no idea of what he likes, because if they actually did know, then they would know that he would pick a homemade plate of fetuccini alfredo over any other restaurant in the world”.

Lucille takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and get her thoughts in order before continuing with the story “Anyway, they call and I’m sitting right there and Nick just looks at me for a second and asks me _Do you want to go?_ and to be honest with you, I didn’t want to, I had no desire to meet the two people that made what are supposed to be the most peaceful years of his life miserable unless I could yell at them but he never asked any of his other girlfriends to meet them before, how could I say no?” 

“What were they like?” he asks her curiously, he is not sure if he has ever even met Nick’s parents.

“Nice enough, a little condescending here and there but you know decent” she says with a shrug “definitely better than my parents, they paid for dinner so you know free food that was nice but after it was over, Nick went to talk to them about something and I still don’t know what they told him but I know it was about me”. 

“How?” he asks, even if he knows that it was about her, that Nick had wanted to tell her about magic but his parents said it was necessary, Sirius had no idea that Lucille had been able to notice that had happened.

“I could tell” she nods self-assured but he can tell that there is a part of her that is still worried about it “he acted weird later, like he wanted to tell me something and he just couldn’t and he had this strange look on his face and I think his parents didn’t like me and it’s fine”. 

“They liked you” he tells her because he can tell that she does care and he knows for a fact that they liked her, Nick told him that, of course, it’s not like he can tell Lucille that “Why wouldn’t they?”

“Why would they?” she asks back simply “They don’t even like Nick and I have never been able to understand why. Of course they wouldn’t like his transsexual girlfriend”.

Sirius wants to tell her that that’s not it, that wasn’t what they talked about, but he can’t, not without telling her about Nick and magic, and he already told too many people as it is, specially as Nick specifically said he didn’t want Lucille to know,so he keeps his mouth shut.

“Like I said, it’s fine, I expected them not to like me and it’s not like I cared much for their opinion anyway and it’s not like I was going to see them often or at the holidays, they never visit Nick during the holidays, not even when he was a kid, he always says it’s fine because one of his friends would always take him in but it’s not fine, they were never there, they didn’t go to his high school graduation or his college graduation, he invited them and they didn’t go like it wasn’t even important to them, they didn’t even apologize, do they think that he didn’t care? That it didn’t hurt his feelings? That he just doesn’t have them?”

“They probably didn’t think of his feelings at all,” Sirius says honestly, he is not sure if she is looking for an actual answer at all, if she isn’t they can always change topics. 

“He was the valedictorian and his parents were the only ones that didn’t show up” Lucille says fuming, and Sirius is embarrassed to admit he doesn’t know what a valedictorian is, based on context though it seems to be a special achievement of some kind in school, which hopefully is enough to get through the conversation, and well, he can see how that makes it even worse “I think that might be the worst thing that they ever did to him, he can’t even look at his graduation pictures and I am sure it’s because of them, he hides them and he can’t even talk about it unless he is drunk and it’s not even healthy at that point”. 

“Maybe it’s for the best, not talking about it” Sirius says, after all that has worked for him. 

“We all have things we don’t want to talk about” she replies like she is also talking from her own experience “and I really wish that this was one of those things that we can just ignore or act like it never happened but we can’t because of their visits, I really wish they just wouldn’t come or they would just disappear, they do more harm than good, they act like they did nothing wrong, they make Nick feel like he is crazy and he becomes a shell of a person for a couple of days and then he acts like everything is fine and then things are actually fine until the next time they visit, it’s a vicious cycle and I’m worried about what might happen now that we are here”.

“What do you mean?” 

“His parents live here in London but they don’t know we are here, they probably still think that Nick is in Florida and to be honest I’d rather keep it that way” she says with a shrug like she is trying to dismiss her own concerns “I don’t think they’ll notice for now or that they’ll worry and if they do, then good, better late than never and if they want to fix their relationship then they’ll have to work for it but sadly I don’t think they are interested, they are so deluded that they think there is nothing to fix”.

“I’m surprised that he didn’t cut them off completely years ago” Sirius responds, he can’t imagine putting himself through the experience of seeing his parents again even if it’s once a year. 

“I don’t judge him for it, I don’t like it and I think it only makes his life more difficult and worse but then I think that if my family called me, I frankly wouldn’t know what to do”. 

“You wouldn’t just hang up the telephone and move on?” he asks her, she stares back at him with an unsure expression “Why not? It’s a perfect response”.

“Depends on the relative and the reason, if it’s my uncle Jeong-hoon asking for money then sure I’ll hang up on him but if it’s my mom telling me that my dad died, then I would entertain the idea of a conversation”. 

“So you would want to go to your dad’s funeral? Is that what you are saying?” Sirius asks with bewilderment, the only way he thinks that he would go to his parents’ funerals would be to make sure that they are dead.

Maybe, to piss on their graves but he could do that after the funeral. 

“I’m saying that my mom wouldn’t be able to deal with it and that I would have to plan it because let’s be honest, we both know that Seo-jun just wouldn’t” she says matter-of-factly.

“Your brother the golden boy wouldn’t be able to plan a funeral?” 

“He wouldn’t” she says knowingly “the guy can plan how to rob a bank without anyone noticing but he has no idea how to throw a party, I planned his wedding and baby shower”.

“You planned his wedding?”

“And I wasn’t even invited, can you believe that?” she tells him like it was a funny anecdote and not a complete outrage, for Merlin’s sake even Narcissa invited him to her wedding, the fact that Lucille’s brother was even worse than that makes him want to find the bloke so he can punch him in the face, she laughs and shakes her head like it’s not a big deal, not even the worst thing that he has done to her “I even planned his bachelor party which—”

“I always got the impression that you didn’t like your brother” he tells her directly, her face falls for a second and she almost shakes her head but then she nods. 

“It’s more complicated than that, he is my brother even if I do hate him now, I didn’t always” she says with a tired expression on her face “when my family disowned me, my brother was the only person that didn’t turn his back on me and he would bring me money and food and eventually even convinced our parents to let me back into the house for a while until I found a job, we didn’t always get along but we cared for each other until eventually we didn’t”.

“What changed?” he asks her, that relationship seemed solid, better than the one that he had with Regulus.

“I turned eighteen and I had saved enough money to move and I moved to Florida, I started from scratch, I found people, made friends and I realized that it’s not impossible to leave my family behind and when I tried to convince him to do the same because if I could do it, then so could he but he said _no_ and at first I got it, he was the son that they had left, the one who was supposed to take after them and after the big disappointment I was, if he left then that might have killed my father”.

“You said that like it’s a bad thing” Sirius says, to his surprise, Lucille doesn’t get angry, she laughs.

“At the time it felt like it was, now I think that might be the only way I’ll ever talk to my mother ever again and jury is still out about if that’s even a good idea or not” she says laughingly before shaking her head and returning to a more serious expression “Anyway it was fine then but eventually it just wasn’t and the more time I spent away from my family, I started to realize that they are not good people”. 

“You didn’t realize that when they kicked you out?” he asks her, there is actual curiosity he has and he doesn’t realize how unnecessarily harsh that might have been until after he said it, he is relieved that again, she is not mad, she nods, almost as if to say _you got me there_.

“I should have known then, you would think that would have been enough but I thought I was the problem and they let me come back in so I think my logic was _How can they really be?"_ she laughs, it’s a bitter private laugh “I was so stupid, I know that now but back then I really thought that they did love me, but then like I said I met other people, people who did love me and that changed things, it changed everything, suddenly they weren’t all I had, suddenly I had options, if that makes sense”. 

“You are not stupid and it does make sense” he tells her because he feels like he has to, meeting people, realizing you have a place to go, changes things, he doesn’t know what would have happened if he had never met James “to be honest with you, I never thought that my parents loved me and so I didn’t love them either but I thought that was normal, I used to think it was weird and bad to even love your parents and that it didn’t really bring anything good, it was just another way they could control you, in that,_Don’t you want my love? So be exactly the way I want you to be so that you can get it,_ kind of way”.

When he says that he can’t help but to think of Druella literally measuring Narcissa’s waist on a weekly basis and giving her less dessert than what he and Regulus would get since they were literal kids, she wanted her youngest daughter to be perfect like that’s even possible, he thought that one day Narcissa would realize how fucked up it was but she never did because she loved her mother, that’s what Narcissa would say, just that, _She only wants what is best for me._

Even thinking about it makes him angry and physically ill. 

After saying that he expects Lucille to look at him completely horrified and maybe a little scandalized, he is used to that, there is always a moment of shock when he says something like that,_How can you say that? How can you say that you have never loved your parents? _

He is used to it but he still hates it, he feels like they are trying to make him feel guilty about it and he would never allow anyone to even try to make him feel that way, not for not loving them and not for leaving.

“Oh yeah, that’s a classic” she says nodding, she smiles like she knows exactly what he is talking about but she doesn’t look happy _“Please fit into this already established role that we made specially for you, isn’t it nice of us that we did that? And if you do exactly as we say then everything will be okay but if you don’t, if you refuse, then you will be looked down upon and eventually no longer communicated with,_ and oh, when they can’t control you with love then they try to do it with money, another classic”. 

and oh, when they can’t control you with love then they try to do it with money, another classic”. 

“I actually got lucky there with my Uncle Alphard, he was my favorite uncle even if he rarely visited, because when I got disowned, he reached out and offered a decent amount of money with no strings attached” he remembers him that when he came to talk to him, Uncle Alphard said that it was for him to be independent, that he wanted nothing in exchange and Sirius could use it for whatever he wanted. 

“Aw, that’s nice, I like his name” she says now with sudden excitement “How did he react when you told him about Boris?”

Oh no.

“You didn’t tell him?” Lucille says letting go of his arm, staring at him with disbelief. 

“I forgot” he replies numbly, shaking his head, he wanted the earth to open and swallow him, “So much has happened in just these few weeks, with Boris moving in, new school, and so on, it just... slipped my mind. I did send him the birth announcement but that doesn’t count, I did that with my whole family—”

“Why?” she asks confused like she doesn’t understand why he would even want them to know about Boris’s existence. 

Sirius can barely remember what his reasoning was, he knew that it would make Walburga go berserk and then she was going to try to break them or burn them and then realize that she couldn’t because Sirius put a charm on them and the image of her being desperate, angry and unable to do anything about it because she didn’t have any more control over his life, that image just appealed to him so much he forgot to think of any other consequences entirely.

He remembers thinking that it would be like when she tried to take down the pictures of the muggle girls in his room but she couldn’t because of the Sticking Charm but _oh so much better._

He thinks about it now and feels so stupid, he exposed his son to those monsters for a fucking thrill. 

“Because I knew they would hate it” he tells her lamely, her face softens for some reason when she hears that, she doesn’t look confused, she nods like she understands even if she only has half of the story. 

“I get it, one time I almost did the same when I first got my restaurant, I wanted my mom to see it, not because I wanted her to be proud but because I knew she would hate it” She pats him on the arm before linking them again “Thank god, I don’t have her address”. 

Sirius laughs for a second before asking “Why do you want to see your mum again? I just mean you brought up the funeral and now the restaurant”. 

“Well it’s complicated, realistically seeing her again would be horrible, I got over that phase of having this fantasy that one day, she was going to regret everything bad that she ever did to me and then apologize, that’s not going to happen and the funeral thing is just something I know I’m probably going to have to take care of” she says with resignation and a little bit of embarrassment as she scratches the back of her head before looking at him with determination and a bit of anger “but the restaurant was different, that was real, that was something I worked for and I wanted her to see it because she said I was a failure and that I would never get anywhere but I got something that I worked for, something that had nothing to do with her or her stupid family”.

“That’s why you want to see her again to prove her wrong,” he says, nodding in understanding.

“Oh no, I don’t want to see her right now, she would love to see me right now” She says with a lopsided sort of grin on her face but she sounds incredibly bitter “she would laugh”. 

“Why?” he asks, unsure of what that woman might even find funny. 

“I’m back to square one—well, we are back to square one” she is smiling like she is trying to make light of it but he can tell it’s forced, in the way she crinkles her eyes and then she takes a deep sigh like she is about to admit something she isn’t proud of “I don’t want to complain because I truly do know that it could be worse and I have had it worse but Sirius I really hate my job”. 

She sounds frustrated and tired, it takes a second for him to realize that she might be about to cry and he has no idea of what to do when he sees tears leaking from the corners of her eyes.

“I used to have my own restaurant and now I’m back to being a waitress, I don’t even cook there” she starts tearing up and sniffs until she finally says in a kind of cracked voice “I miss my old work and we worked so hard to get that restaurant running and we were so close to owning that building and it took years for us to get there, we saved so much money and we jumped through so many hoops and now it’s all gone, it’s like it never even existed, my friend Alejandra says it’s a nail salon now and they already rented the second floor”. 

“Oh Lucille, I’m so sorry” he says, unsure of what to tell her to make her feel better, part of him just wants to tell her to quit and buy her old restaurant back, even if it’s all the way back to Florida—wait a second “How much did it cost? I mean to get the restaurant running? Could you do it again here?” 

“Not right now, that’s for sure, all the money that we got out of the restaurant is basically gone, in between the rent for the two apartments, the car we had to get because apparently you need to have a car to get custody of your own nephew” she sniffs before cleaning her face with the back of her hand “and god, I think we made less money before and it used to be good enough for the two of us but now we have to add Gyuri to the equation and I’m trying to give him something that at least looks like a normal childhood and he is still expecting his father to call and it breaks my heart because I don’t think he is going to”. 

Her voice broke then and he noticed her hands trembling, shoulders shaking with what Sirius couldn’t tell if it was sadness or anger or maybe both and, in that moment, he knew what to do, he pulled her into a hug and held her, she cried there for several minutes.

“Do you know where your idiot brother is?” he asks her finally when she starts to pull away.

“I don’t know” she says letting out an angry sigh before letting go off the hug, she cleans her face sharply like she has decided that she is done crying “the last time  
we talked, we got into a fight because his wife called me to tell me that he was taking Gyuri with him on his work trips and she wanted me to talk some sense into him and I was so angry because the only thing that I ever asked from him was to keep Gyuri safe and he promised me that he would keep him out of the family business, he promised me that and he didn’t”.

“What a fucking asshole” he says, he feels like the word doesn’t fit, like it’s not big enough but Lucille nods, eyes red and jaw set with anger that is so strong that she almost can’t keep it inside, he can actually picture her doing the same face during the phone call with her brother.

“We got into a screaming match and I remember yelling at him _What is going to happen if you get caught?_ And you want to know what he did? He laughed, he told me And you want to know what he did? He laughed, he told me _Lucy, people like me don’t get caught”._

“Let me guess, he got caught,” he says, imagining the smugness disappearing from this stranger's face and feeling some satisfaction until Lucille lets out a bitter laugh. 

“My parents’ golden boy? Never” she says with a look that is almost disgusted “he was almost caught and guess who he left behind when he ran away?”  
Sirius opens his mouth to say an insult, to look for a word horrible enough to describe what he just heard and insult that cuts deep enough and Lucille is shaking in anger, no longer crying and staring back at him before she takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, Sirius has no idea how, if he would have been in her shoes, he would be screaming right now. 

“The asshole had the nerve to call me to tell me what he had done” she snorts and shakes her head “told me he _screwed it up_ and and to help him, to help Gyrui, that he was ashamed, that he can’t even look at him or me, that he doesn’t know what he is going to tell his wife and I told him that I would help Gyuri but that he can’t never call me again, the only reason why I was able to stay in contact with him and overlook every stupid thing he ever did was because of Gyuri and now there is no reason for us to talk to each other anymore and then I hung up and now well, a lot happened in between but here we are”. 

“Here we are” Sirius repeats after her, feeling exhausted just from hearing that story and having no idea how she looks so calm and put together but she does.

She fixes her hair and a bit of her makeup while looking at a mirror that she carries in her pocket and she links arms with him, once again and she is ready to go.

They do go to pick up the pictures after that and he feels happy when the cashier does recognize him and brings him the pictures immediately, there are a lot of them and he can already picture himself putting them all over his living room and since the place sells cards, Lucille buys two for Nick, he has no idea what they say but they are heart shaped so he assumes it’s just something cheesy. 

When they go to buy the things for the kids’ projects, he feels relieved that Lucille is there with him because he forgot the list and she didn't.

He is however a little offended when after they are done shopping for the materials, she shows up with a calendar, markers and sticky notes so that he can organize himself better but she quickly adds “every parent I know has one”.

And yeah, okay fine, now that he thinks about it, he has seen one like this in Fleamont and Euphemia’s house, they keep it in the kitchen and they would fill the sticky notes with what they were going to cook each day, Rahmiya and David have it in their garage and as far as he knows they only circle the important dates, no sticky notes, Hope and Lyall keep their calendar in the living room, their sticky notes are filled with drawings and symbols that feel more like inside jokes than anything else.

He ends up getting them and Lucille puts the first sticky note on 20 of September of 1979 that says _Call my uncle._

He is about to say that his Uncle Alphard is old fashioned, he actually doesn’t own a telephone, Sirius is either going to fire call him or owl him but then he remembers that he can’t tell Lucille any of that stuff so he leaves the note there as a reminder.

They end up eating at a restaurant nearby and it’s only when they are paying the bill that Sirius remembers the idea that he had before the topic changed to her idiot brother, because he sees Lucille’s eyes actually light up when she talks about how they used to serve amaretto chocolate cake and it’s apparently Nick’s favorite and it used to be a daily struggle for him not to eat it.

“I’m going to order one to go for him and also another one for Gyuri” she tells him while she fixes her stuff to make sure that everything fits inside of her bag and takes out her wallet.

“Lucille, about your restaurant” he starts, unsure of how to make the offer.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry about that breakdown, I don’t know—”

“I could give you the money for it” he says simply, she looks up from her bag with an strange look on her face like she didn’t hear him right “to do it again here, I could give you the money for it”. 

She blinks and stares at him blankly “What?” 

“How much would it be?” Sirius asks her, he doesn’t have his checkbook with him but—

“I can’t just take your money, Sirius” Lucille says staring back at him like she is touched but she also thinks he is crazy “it wouldn’t be—"

“You’ll pay me back when you can” he tries because that’s what James says when he offers to pay something for Remus and he doesn’t want him to and most of the time it works.

“You don’t even know how much it would be” Lucille says but Sirius can tell that she is doing the math for a second before shaking her head “Hell, I don’t even know how much it would be and it’s not that simple, we would have to look for a place, staff and the appliances and if owning the building is figured into the amount, and more stuff I’m probably not even thinking about right now, it would be a lot of money—"

“I have a lot of money” he tells her with certainty.

She stares back at him, looking wary, frowning slightly while she taps her fingers against the table, he thinks she might be considering it.

“We don’t have to start owning the building, hell, at first we didn’t even start out looking for a place that would rent” she says, almost to herself like she is already cutting the expenses “when we started it the first time, we didn’t even think of any of that, we just convinced a guy to let us sell burgers outside of his bar and it worked, that’s how we made enough money for the utensils and then we found our staff as we kept on working and we just need to look at the right spot, a good spot just like last time".

She stays quiet for a second after that, almost mumbling to herself numbers now and then turns to look back at him “I still can’t just take your money”.  
“But you just said—"

“Nick would have to take a look at your finances and then we would make a budget and there would have to be some paperwork done” she says going through a mental list “you could be an investor or a co-owner or something”. 

Sirius isn’t sure if he is interested in either position but if that’s the way to get Lucille out of her horrible job and have her restaurant running again, then he can do it, he nods and sees her face light up even if she is trying to look calm.

“Nick would have to walk you through that part—you are really serious about this, right?” she asks him, and he has to bite his tongue not to make a joke because he can tell that she is nervous and even a little wary.

“I’m completely serious about this” he tells her, she smiles widely back at him.

She smiles brightly at him and pulls him into a bone crushing hug that he wasn’t expecting, she says _thank you_ so fast and so many times that he can’t tell them apart from each other, he doesn’t know what to do at first, only patting her in the back, he tries to say that _It's nothing_ but he doesn’t even finish that sentence because she pulls back says “No, it’s everything, you have no idea of what this means for us”.

“It’s really not a big deal” he insists because he doesn’t want her to feel like she owes him anything.

Lucille shakes her head like he still doesn’t understand and she looks like she wants to pull him into another hug but instead looks at him a little apologetic as she fixes his jacket and hair carefully before patting him in the shoulder with a final “Thank you”.

-.-.-.-

When he arrives at the nanny agency, it’s like a déjà vu of going to the orphanage for the first time, the woman looks up at him and gives him an odd look before asking “Are you here for a job interview?”

“My name is Sirius Black; I have an appointment” he says, mildly annoyed at the slight shock in the woman’s face as she checks a list.

“Ah, Mr.Black” she says scratching his name from the list “You are just in time, do you want to go inside now or should we wait for your wife to arrive?”

“I’m a single father” he says, the only reason why he doesn’t say anything else is because the woman actually looks back at him embarrassed for assuming.

“I will let you in immediately” she says quickly and apologetically like she is saying _I’m just going to let you in before I say something else wrong_ as she pushes a button under the table and gestures for him to go inside of an office door “Mrs.Abrams—I mean Ms.Calderon is waiting for you and will attend you immediately, it’s not necessary for you to knock on the door, just walk in”. 

He nods and walks towards the door and opens it, Veronica or well, Ms.Calderon is standing up while holding a pink coffee mug, sipping what he assumes it’s coffee, she is a short woman that barely gets to his shoulder and he can tell that she is probably in her early thirties, she has dark auburn brown hair and warm brown skin, her smile is white toothed and wide as she puts down the coffee mug on her desk and walks towards him to shake his hand.

“Good afternoon, you must be Mr.Black” she smiles politely, her handshake is firm and if she is surprised by his age, she doesn’t show it but that could be because Hope talked about him “It’s very nice to meet you, please take a seat”. 

He does and looks down at her desk, he sees a picture of Ms.Calderon with a little girl with hair and eyes identical to her, but her hair is straight unlike her, she is wearing a puffy pink dress and she is being picked up by Ms.Calderon who isn’t looking at the camera but back at her with utmost love while the girl holds her glasses and she blows the candles of the birthday cake that is being held by a man with a similar expression on his face. 

It makes him a little sad that he didn’t get to celebrate Boris’s birthday with him this year but there is always a next one.

Sirius notices then that while organized her desk is a little crowded with homemade Mother’s Day presents, some make sense that they are there like the pink pencil holder with butterflies drawn on it but he can also see an egg carton that had little paper mache sunflowers and then there was a rock that had been painted on, even if he can’t tell what exactly.

She notices him looking at it and she passes it to him, there are little roses and it says I love you, mom and it’s actually really sweet and he completely gets why she has it on her desk now.

“My daughter Maggie got a book of crafts for her birthday and she spent the summer making them for me and she just left for boarding school so…” she says gesturing to the little things in her desk like that explains everything and in a way it does, again he has no idea how parents sent their kids to Hogwarts “now, what can I help you with, Mr.Black?” 

“Well, I’m looking for a babysitter” he responds lamely, it should be obvious that’s why he is here.

“Well, yes, of course but what are you looking for exactly? Do you want a live-in nanny? An occasional babysitter? Are you looking for a night nanny?” she asks him while taking out some folders from her first drawer.

“A night nanny?”

“A nanny that only works during the nighttime hours and handle everything pertaining to the baby in the period of time, giving the parents the chance to—”

“My son is eleven” he tells her, he doesn’t tell her the part about the adoption yet but just to look at her reaction. 

To his surprise, she doesn’t look scandalized, she simply puts the folders back inside of the drawer like she is already looking for a different option for him and he sees her smiling a little bit as she says “Oh, that’s my daughter's age, what’s your son’s name?”

“His name is Boris” he tells her, being unable not to smile when he says it “I’m in the process of adopting him actually”. 

“Oh, you are a new father to an eleven year old, that makes sense” she does sound surprised now but she nods like she is starting to put two and two together “you are probably going back to work now, that’s always hard, the first time I went back to work after having my daughter was horrible and I was leaving her with her dad”.

“Work hasn’t been much of a problem—well, it’s starting to be but it’s manageable because I’m able to work from home so I can take care of Boris perfectly fine by myself but there are these meetings that I need to be at and—”

“You can no longer just drop everything and go like you used to and they expect you to” she says like she is speaking from personal experience “do they tell you about these meetings at the last second?” 

“Sometimes a day before, I usually have a couple of hours but I can’t tell when it’s going to happen” he tells her, Ms.Calderon nods like she is taking the new information “and I don’t know how long they are going to last”.

“Then what you are looking for is an occasional babysitter with a very flexible schedule” Ms.Calderon says matter-of-factly and looks at her desk like she is going through a mental list before smiling “I do think I have someone that could totally work for you”. 

She leans down to reach her bottom drawer and takes out a folder, this one isn’t a thick as the ones that she had before and she passes it to him carefully as she says 

“Her name is Carolina Prieto, she has only been working with us for a couple of months now, she is very good and very capable, you can read her recommendation letters which are inside, I do have to tell you that she has never taken care of a boy that is your son’s age, the oldest she has gone for is a four year old but she was a school teacher so she’ll be more than able to help your son with his homework and again, she has the flexible schedule you are looking for”. 

At first Sirius is not sure what to say, he didn’t even have such high expectations, he was just thinking he didn’t want Boris to be alone and scared enough to go for a kitchen knife again, finally he thinks of something useful to say “Can I and my son meet her first? Just to see if he is comfortable with her?”

“Oh, of course, that’s what I was about to get into, parents usually just prefer to see the references first to make sure that everything is alright with the babysitter” she says before taking a big breath for the next part like she knows it from memory “We have a process here, first you get an interview with the babysitter tomorrow where you get to know her and discuss different things and of course she would meet the child and if you all feel comfortable with each other then you’ll start a three-day trial and if you don’t, you come back and we’ll find someone new for you”.

“A three-day trial?” 

“Yes, I think you’ll find it extra helpful since you mentioned that you work from home, you’ll get to see her at work and how she behaves with Boris and she gets to experience what the work environment might be like and if you are both content, then you two sign a contract and well, that’s it and if you aren’t then don’t worry, we’ll look for someone else”. 

Sirius nods to that, it makes sense and it does sound fair, he decides to open the folder then, the first page is just Carolina’s personal information, he only skims her full name, Carolina Rufina Pietro Zajac, she is twenty-three years old, she is from the U.K. and in a section at the bottom that says special abilities it says that she knows multiple languages: English, Spanish, Italian and _polish_.

Of course, he _can't_ hire her just for that but it’s a plus.

He goes to the reference letters, again, he only skims, mostly because this are long letters and while he thinks it’s nice that Carolina is in good terms with all of her old bosses, they are talking about how she was good at changing diapers, how she knew how to burp a sleeping baby and knows all the nursery rhymes songs and he knows Boris won’t need any of that.

It is nice to see that all the reference letters are by single parents, he knows she won’t be judgemental about him being one. 

The final letter written by a woman named _Emily Brown_ that starts the letter similar to the other ones but then starts telling a story about how after she divorced her abusive husband, he tried to take her son and the only person that was at home at the time was Carolina.

She doesn’t get into the details about what happened but it’s not necessary, the words _She fought for my child and protected him like it was her own_ are enough to paint a picture for him and when she says that anyone would be lucky to have her as a babysitter, he believes her. 

Sirius knows he still has to meet her and Boris too, but all he can think right now is,_This is exactly what I’m looking for._

“At what time could the interview take place?” he asks Ms.Calderon who smiles triumphantly. 

“What would you say if tomorrow she shows up to your apartment an hour after your kid comes back from school so that she can know the two of you?” she offers opening up the egg carton and he can see he taking out a paper “Would that work?”

“That would be perfect” he says before shaking her hand and writing his phone number and address.

-.-.-.-

When Sirius arrives home, he barely gets enough time to put down the bags before Boris comes running towards him, holding out his arms to pull him into a hug, he crouches down as fast as he can and Boris’s arm locks with a hard grip around his neck, elbows behind his shoulders, Sirius closes his arms around him and picks him up as he tells him how Remus taught him how to make arroz con pollo.

“Originally I was going to order a pizza, but he asked me what my favorite food was” Remus starts to explain.

“And he told me, and I tried to make it once with a friend in Las Vegas, it didn’t go well” Boris continues making a face “so I asked him if he could teach me how to make it”.

“And I couldn’t say no,” Remus says, sounding apologetic.

Sirius doesn’t understand why, he thinks it might be him apologizing for using his kitchen and he has no idea why Remus would think he would care but he doesn’t get time to question it because Boris starts talking about how they made it, Remus does cut in here and there when Boris doesn’t remember the names of certain things. 

He tells Sirius about his day at school as he eats and he is happy that he was actually able to answer correctly one question in history class, he insists it still sucks but he doesn’t mind it as much because they are getting cookies and the teacher is nice, Sirius is glad because he does not want Boris to ever deal with an asshole teacher.

When Boris goes to the bathroom, there is a moment of awkward silence between him and Remus, he has grown accustomed for that to happen, usually he just waits for the moment to pass and whoever they are with to rejoin them but since things are better now, he attempts to make small talk “So what were you talking about before I arrived?”

“Oh, his love life” Remus says casually.

“His what?” Sirius asks, actually feeling a little worried.

“I know, I was a little surprised, how do you have a girlfriend at ten?” Remus responds but he doesn’t sound concerned, he sounds amused and way too calm for Sirius’s liking. 

Here is the thing, in different circumstances, he would think that having a girlfriend at ten is ridiculous but also harmless nonsense, he is not even sure what two ten year olds who are dating could do? You can’t even go to PG movies, he would assume that all they do is hold hands and share food during lunch which is FINE but Boris is different. 

Boris started drinking at age ten, who knows what happened with a girlfriend? 

“Her name was Kotku—”

“No” Boris says coming back from the bathroom “that’s just what I liked to call her”. 

“Right” Remus says nodding like he is trying to remember something else “you called her that because it means kitten in Polish, right?” 

“Yes and she used to live with a lot of cats, well, they didn’t live with her but it was her house and they were around” Boris explains to him, Remus nods along like he heard that part before “Her name was Kristen, she was the prettiest girl in school, even Mike Tate thought so and he was thirteen”. 

Sirius already feels a sense of panic at the mention of a thirteen year old in this story and the idea of Kotku or well Kristen being thirteen and dating his ten year old son—

“How old was Kristen?” he asks, trying to stay calm “Was she older than you?”

“Oh yes, she was older than me” Boris responds proudly before taking a sip of water, Sirius felt a sinking feeling in his chest.

“She was five months older than him” Remus tells him, now actually looking a little concerned, even if it’s clear that his concern isn’t directed at Boris but at him.  
Sirius still lets out a sigh of relief, after feeling like he was going to have a heart attack.

“That still counts for older, it’s a very big deal” Boris argues, Remus nods in his direction “she was even taller than me and like I said she is the prettiest girl in the school and all the boys were jealous, she was cool, had good music taste and would shoplift candy for me, it was cool but we broke up because I moved”. 

Boris makes a face wrinkling his nose, looking upset as he says “Well, we didn’t break up, I moved, I didn’t get time to say goodbye”. 

“I’m sure she knew that you cared about her” Remus says patting him in the arm comfortingly.

“I stole that Chloe perfume for her and it wasn’t like her birthday or anything, it was just a present” Boris says like it wasn’t a big deal but he felt like it counted as a sweet gesture, Sirius could see Remus sending a somewhat worried look in his direction. 

He has to bite his own tongue not to say _Oh so now you are worried?_.

Sirius only shrugs, What was he supposed to do? Go back to Las Vegas to pay for it?

“I think my mother wears that brand,” Remus says after a second.

“Oh by the way how did it go with her new gold star client?”

“Gold star client?” Boris asks curiously like Remus’s mother might be attending someone famous.

“Remus’s mother is going to make Lily’s sister's wedding dress” he explains to Boris who looks at Remus like Sirius just told him that his mother is very sick and battling for her life at the hospital.

“Oh” Boris says, patting Remus’s hand comfortingly. 

“It’s fine, she says she can handle her and her in-laws and the bridesmaids” Remus says making a face, scrunching up his nose the same way his mother had, he didn’t look happy with the situation but something changes on his face when he turns to Sirius and says “to be completely honest with you, I think my mum might like Petunia”.

“No way, really?” Sirius responds, he can’t even imagine why anyone would even like Petunia but he is happy that she at least wasn’t rude to Hope “Well, your mum kind of likes everyone”.

He remembers one time that Peter had said that Hope had a more active social life than all of them combined, she had friends everywhere and Sirius had seen her befriend strangers in seconds.

He had been worried what she might think of him after fifth year but her attitude with him had never changed, in the rare moments when he allowed himself to think about it, he came to the conclusion that she either had no idea that had ever happened or was a really forgiving woman.

He thinks it’s probably the first.

“My mum doesn’t like everyone” Remus protests “she clearly doesn’t like Vernon’s family”.

“Exactly that’s how I know they are terrible without even knowing them because your mum doesn’t like them, and she likes everyone” Sirius says matter-of-factly, Remus makes a face like he wants to protest but Sirius asks first “What did your mum even say about Petunia?

“That _the poor thing has horrible in-laws”_ Remus says, clearly quoting his mother even if Sirius is sure that she had actually sounded compassionate while Remus doesn’t “apparently her mother-in-law wants to wear white to her wedding”.

Sirius laughs, he just can’t help it, he can’t imagine what shitshow that was and the horrified expression on Petunia’s face when she heard that “No way, what did Petunia said? Did she rip her head off or what?”

“Oh, she apparently said nothing,” Remus says, Sirius could tell that he was also picturing Petunia’s face and finding it a little amusing.

“She doesn’t hold back with an eleven-year-old but apparently _ the poor thing_ just can’t talk back to her mother-in-law” Sirius replies, with equal amounts of bitterness and amusement.

It’s a surprise when Remus simultaneously says “My mum said that I was mean for saying this but isn’t it funny, how she can say whatever in front of an eleven-year-old but can’t stand up to her mother-in-law”.

When that happens, they end up staring at each other for a second before laughing, unsure of what else to do, Boris is just looking at the two of them, laughing too even if he looks more touched than anything else and that makes the laughter die down relatively quickly.

“I can deal with Petunia, frankly I had it worse and I think she needs better friends; how did no one offer to throw something at the woman’s dress? That is what a good friend would do” Boris says with determination and Sirius has to admit it made sense, he might have done it if he cared for Petunia or was invited to the wedding.

Sirius thinks that a good friend would have never ever let you even go on a date with Vernon but before he says that, he hears a knock on the door and runs to open it thinking that it might be Mrs.Winkles, it’s a bit of a shock to see James and Lily there. 

“What are you two doing here?” he asks before pulling the two of them into a hug. 

“Who is it?” Remus asks from the kitchen.

“Remus is here?” James asks, sounding surprised and delighted, Sirius rolls his eyes.

“Hi James, hi Lily” Remus says, even if he couldn’t have possibly seen her from where he was.

“Yes, Remus is here, Boris wanted him to come pick him from school while I went to look for a babysitter” he says as they walk inside of the apartment.

“Oh how did that go?” Lily asks him, as she takes off her jacket.

“Really well, actually, she is coming tomorrow for an interview” he admits as James takes off his jacket and Lily’s hat and puts it on the coat holder “now we are in the kitchen talking about your sister”.

“What about my sister?” Lily asks, looking both confused and a little defensive.

“I’ll let Remus catch you up with that part”.

Remus does, he doesn’t sugarcoat the fact that apparently Vernon’s family is bad enough to put off even Hope, about the dress but this time when he says the part about Petunia not standing up to her mother-in-law, he doesn’t look amused at all and when Sirius sees the way that Lily’s cheeks turn red and he can tell that she is angry, he isn’t sure if he is either.

The worst part is still when he mentions that the bridesmaids came to try their dresses and he sees Lily’s face fall, Sirius can’t imagine that Lily ever had any reasons to believe that she would be one, but he assumes that hearing that Petunia didn’t even consider her at all must hurt the same. 

“Boris says that if the mother in law does end up wearing the dress, someone should throw something at it” Remus says, clearly an attempt to light up the mood, Boris nods along to his words. 

“I guess you know what to do that day, Lils” James attempted to make her smile, Lily did force out a snort and held his hand.

“Actually, since we are talking about Vernon and Petunia,” Lily says, attempting to sound cheerful and failing “Are you three free on Thursday?”

Remus nods, right away, Sirius takes a second and has to go check the calendar that he doesn’t have to see the nutritionist or the dentist or anything and yeah, it turns out that he is actually free that day, it’s the next day that he is dreading.

“Good thing that you didn’t say Friday, I have the psychological assessment that day” he says feeling annoyed already, Boris turns to look at him with a worried glance, all he does in response is ruffle his hair.

“Oh, you still have to go to that?” Remus asks him, making his own uncomfortable expression.

“What is that?” James asks him, slightly confused and a little worried “Do you want me to go with you?”

“It’s a test I have to take, the whole thing is going to take three or four hours” he says remembering how the secretary told him to pick a day where he knew he wouldn’t have to do anything else “and you’ll have to wait outside for me and being in the waiting room is not very fun, there are not that many good magazines and frankly I would have gone insane out of boredom, if it wasn’t for Remus”.

James hears that and for a moment Sirius can see the concern leave his face as he tries to fight a smile, almost like he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it or make it weird.

“It wasn’t so bad” Remus says with a casual shrug before he starts frowning and turns towards Lily “Wait a second, what does us being free on Thursday have to do with Vernon and Petunia?” 

“You already said that you are free that day” Lily says, oh no, this wasn’t going to be anything good, he thought Lily just wanted to eat desserts and be sad about Petunia’s wedding with them “we are having a family dinner with Vernon’s family”. 

Sirius has no desire to go, let alone bring Boris with him, he knows he won’t—

“I want to go” Boris says, looking up at him, Sirius looks at him with bewilderment, he notices this and explains “to support Aunt Lily”. 

“Aw” Lily says, sounding actually touched, putting her hand on her chest before walking towards Boris with her arms outstretched and pulling him into a tight hug, his head resting on her shoulder as she says, “You heard that Sirius, he wants to go”.

“It’s a school night” he tries lamely, knowing this is an already lost battle.

“We’ll leave early,” Boris says pleadingly as he puts his arm around Lily. 

Sirius lets out a deep sigh, it doesn’t help that in that moment James reaches to hold both his hand and Remus, he makes a pouting bambi eyes expression as he says, “Please don’t leave me alone with Vernon and his family, I’m begging you”.

Remus is covering half of his face; Sirius knows that he is trying not to laugh and not to look at James and he is failing at both.

“Peter already said no”.

Sirius scoffs “Traitor”.

“His mother is sick,” James says, sounding a little serious.

Remus is the one to scoff this time as he says “Oh please, I created that excuse”. 

“Please” James insists, at the same time that Boris makes a sad face and he really can’t say no. 

“Fine, we’ll go but you have to have done all your homework” Sirius says halfheartedly, the sentence and the words feel weird in his mouth but Boris doesn’t care as he lets go of Lily to go hug him.

“What about you, Uncle Remus?” Boris asks him, he stares back at him and slowly starts to nod.

“Like I said, I have nothing to do that day,” he says before taking a deep breath and nodding “sure, I’ll be there”.

“Great, I’ll go do my homework now” he says looking at Sirius who ruffles his hair before letting him walk away and sitting down next to James.

“I can’t believe I’m going to expose my poor son to those horrible people” Sirius says, he is only half joking he is not sure he wants his son around Vernon or his relatives “You see James, this is exactly why Remus is kicking your ass at the best uncle section”. 

James pats him in the back as he says “We are not going to let any of them say anything bad to Boris”. 

“They wouldn’t dare” Lily says, it doesn’t sound like they are not capable of it but it does sound like she’ll make them regret it and that works for Sirius too, he notices her turn to Remus then and she puts her hand on his shoulder as she asks him “You are sure that Petunia hasn’t said anything bad to your mother, right?” 

“Like I said I think she likes her” Remus says, Lily actually looks relieved with a knowing look on her face like she knew her sister wouldn’t and the sister she knew wasn’t gone. 

“You should bring your parents to dinner” Lily suggests with a bright look on her face, Remus stares at her confused “I think your mother might be a good influence on my sister”. 

“It’s been a while since we saw good old Lyall” James says, it’s true, it’s been a couple of months since the last time they saw each other “he likes cars, right? Maybe he would be able to—”

“My father doesn’t like cars, he likes to learn how machinery works without magic” Remus explains sounding defensive “he would be more interested in hearing Boris tell him how to start a car without a key than to hear whatever Vernon has to say about his car”. 

“I would love for Boris to meet them” Sirius says on an impulse but he means it, Lyall and Hope are good with kids, he had always thought before meeting them that Remus’s childhood must have been rough without been able to play around with other kids but after seeing them, they were playful and just fun, like they’ll do anything to make sure that their kid would have a good time.

“They would love to meet him too” Remus says knowingly before taking a deep sigh like he thinks he is going to regret this but he is also saying fuck it “I’ll ask them”.  
There is a knock on the door and for a moment he wonders who it is but then he remembers. 

Right. Mrs.Winkles. 

“If that’s Peter, then this is too much of a coincidence” James says but Sirius shakes his head. 

“Not him, my social worker” he says standing up from the table. 

“Oh” Lily says standing up as well and looking around like they are breaking a rule “Should we go?” 

“No” Sirius says shaking his head, in a way he actually wants them here “She is not doing a home visit or anything like that and even then I don’t think it would be a problem that you are here, she is just coming here to talk about what happened with Boris’s mum”. 

Sirius goes to open the door and he knows his friends are coming right behind him and when he opens the door, Mrs.Winkles’s eyes widen in surprise like she wasn’t expecting being welcomed like this, still she smiles and waves “Hello there, Mr.Black and company”. 

“These are my friends” he ends up saying awkwardly as he gestures in their direction, they are standing in line like nervous kids during their first year “My brother James”.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” James says, reaching out to shake her hand. 

“Likewise, I heard a lot about you,” she says shaking his hand back.

“This is his wife Lily” Sirius continues, Lily’s handshake ends up being a little more awkward but still successful “and our friend Remus”.

She goes to shake his hand and it’s mostly going well until she looks down and he sees a worried look appear on her face for a second as she says “Oh god, what happened there?”

“I had an accident” he says quickly, taking his hand away and she nods sympathetically. 

“I get it, my husband gets into things like that all of the time, the other day he tried to help this racoon” she shakes her head as she looks back to that memory “he should have just let him be”.

Remus nods looking slightly relieved that they had moved on from the topic, as he sees her take out one of her folders from her bag but Lily stops her saying “Hi, I’m really sorry, I know you must be really busy but I wanted to ask you a question”.

“Sure,” she says, taking out one of her pens “Are you looking to adopt as well or?”

“No, not for now” Lily says shaking her head “I wanted to ask about the reference letters, Sirius told us that you said that relatives couldn’t write them, I’m his sister in law, I wanted to know if I would be able to, we have known each other for years and I know him very well even if our relationship was a bit rocky in the beginning”. 

_A bit rocky?_ It was hell. 

There was no other way to put it or to sugarcoat it, it had been hell, he had made it hell and she was trying to downplay it to make him look better.

When Lily started to date James, to put it mildly, he didn’t take it well. 

He always knew that James liked Lily but he never thought about them actually getting together and he didn’t know what that would mean. 

Suddenly it felt like James was spending more time with Lily than with them, than with him, suddenly it was her who he wanted to spend all his time with, it didn’t even feel gradual, in response he would try to get to spend as much time with James as he used to, he even tried to get James to blow her off, thinking that would prove James still cared about him, of course he wouldn’t which only made him more desperate. And when they would hang out and he was late by only two minutes, he would be furious at James and just lose it, he realizes how ridiculous it all sounds like now, but back then, the more time James spent with her, the more he was convinced that James was abandoning him, leaving him behind and that it was her fault. 

She had stolen James from him, she had ruined everything and he hated her for it. 

Of course it sounds insane now, even he can admit that, but back then he really believed that and it really felt like that was what was happening, that’s all he could think about, it was just, _He doesn’t care about me anymore, he doesn’t need me now that he has her and she has turned him against me and now he hates me, of course he hates me, it was meant to happen, eventually he was always going to get bored of me and she just quickened the process, it’s all her fault, I **hate**her_.

It’s not like they didn’t tell him that he was wrong, James told him that he was wrong but that only led to him calling him a liar during screaming fits he would have.  
Not his finest moment, specially not the time when he accused James of plotting against him, he can’t even remember what he said exactly, it was during a fit of rage and all he remembers is screaming about treachery and betrayal, Peter and Remus did try to diffuse the situation but that only ended with him yelling at them as well, yelling _YOU ARE ALL AGAINST ME!! YOU ARE ALL TRAITORS!! ALL OF YOU!! YOU ARE ALL ON HER SIDE!! _

It was a mess and frankly he doesn’t know how they forgave him, especially how easily Lily did it, her own friends weren’t so quick, some of them actually thought he was against her dating James because of her being muggleborn, Mary MacDonald had actually told Lily to give him the cold shoulder, he was offended at the time he found that out, he knew he would feel exactly the same way if she was pureblood, looking back though he can’t really blame them because he was acting insane and of course they would look for an explanation and from an outside view that one seemed reasonable. In the end it took him a whole five months to finally come around, see that she was not a threat, and accept Lily.

Thinking of all of that, it’s almost incredible how Lily simply puts her arm around him as she says “but we get along great now and that’s what matters, I could not ask for a better brother in law and I have seen him with Boris, their relationship and how he cares about him, it’s really precious and he is already part of the family, I would really love to be able to write a recommendation letter”.

Sirius suddenly feels like he should apologize again for everything but Lily nudges him almost like trying to shut him up so they can hear Mrs.Winkles’s response, who does look at them with some endearment.

“You can write a letter, I’m sorry, I should have made that clarification in the beginning” Mrs.Winkles says graciously, Sirius nods in understanding, she got him that extension, it’s fine. 

And now he’s hit the minimum of three people to write letters. Of course it would be better to get two more people, but at least he won’t get disqualified or something.

Boris comes out of his room then with a notebook in his hand and hitting it with a pencil like he couldn’t remember something “Hey, can you help me with the—Oh, Mrs.Winkles, hi”.

He looks surprised, almost like he had forgotten that she was supposed to come over today and he looks at her expectantly and nervously as he says, “Sirius said you had news about my mom”.

“Good afternoon, Boris” she says with a sweet smile on her face even if she doesn’t look happy, it’s almost like she is trying to reassure Boris that everything is fine “I have to go through some boring paperwork with Sirius but after that I do have some stuff for you to look, you just need to wait for a little bit, okay, honey?”  
Boris doesn’t look completely convinced, like he doesn’t believe that the paperwork about his mother’s death could ever be considered boring, he clearly wants to look at them himself, but then he turns to look at Sirius.

He doesn’t have to ask him anything, Sirius already knows what he is thinking that he has to tell him whatever Mrs.Winkles might say to him about his mother’s death, it doesn’t matter if he thinks he can’t handle it, he has to tell him.

Sirius nods even if he feels uneasy but the relief on Boris’s face as he smiles back at Mrs.Winkles who also sounds relieved she says “Thank you, honey”. 

“What did you need help with?” Remus asks Boris as he walks towards him.

“You know French too?” Boris asks him, putting his book helplessly in his hands.

“I know where Sirius keeps his dictionaries” James chimes in as he joins them, Lily sending a look on Sirius’s way as if to say _We got this_

He doesn’t know if they mean the homework or in general, all he knows is that he is glad that they are here. 

Mrs.Winkles looks at him and then back around the place like she is trying to find somewhere that they can go through the papers without being disturbed, he gestures for her to follow him to the kitchen, she walks behind him and once they are there, she closes the door, something he doesn’t do often but he can see her looking exhausted, judging by the way she puts her bag on the table and basically collapses in her seat, she rubs her eyes like she is trying to stay up.

“Do you want a cup of coffee?” he asks her, unsure of what to offer her, she shakes her head. 

“No, I’m fine, thank you” she forces a smile and starts to take a folder out from her purse, Sirius sits down next to her “I got to talk to the senior investigating officer of the case, usually there is a process to get the remains, first they have to obtain a full family background, DNA matches and other stuff that I’m probably forgetting about right now but since you are not related to her, Boris is a minor and the situation is complicated and he really wants to close the case, all you have to do is sign these papers”.

Sirius nods, somewhat relieved that they don’t have to go through that process, he goes to look for a pen but Mrs.Winkles beats him to it by getting one out of her purse first “He did ask for one thing”.

“Ah, there is a catch” he says unsurprised. 

“Nothing too big” she responds, fixing her glasses “Only for you not to file a complaint when the remains take too long to arrive, he said that it could be a few weeks or maybe a month, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t want trouble for releasing them late and in their defense they didn’t know who to release them to”.

“Because they weren’t able to identify her at first?” he asks confused, she shakes her head. 

“No, because her mother is still alive but she suffers from Alzheimer’s and Dementia, I found out about that when I was looking for relatives that would be able to take Boris in and I told them that” she says it like she had been repeating it a bunch of times but she had been ignored “it took a while but I was able to contact them with her doctors and they agreed that she wouldn’t react well to getting the remains of her daughter” she pauses like the next part is the hardest to say “she still thinks she is alive”.

Sirius doesn’t know what to say to that, he found it disturbing that the doctors had decided for her and the fact that she didn’t know—that she couldn’t realize that her daughter was gone forever, it made his heart ache, he didn’t know if that was better or worse. 

“Does Boris know that?” he asks her, maybe they could arrange something, if he wanted to see her.

“He knows that she is alive and that she has Alzheimer’s” she says nodding “but he doesn’t know that last part, it’s new information but even if I had known I don’t think I would have told him”. 

“I think he would want to know” he says, even if he understands, he doesn’t want to tell him that either “Do you think he would want to see her? Would the doctors let it happen? I know they didn’t tell her about her daughter’s death—”

“I think it might for the best that she doesn’t know, I think her illness is pretty severe, my mother in law only had the beginnings of Alzheimer’s before dying and one day before we realized she had it, she asked my daughter Lisa if she had heard from her younger brother because he was supposed to call her and Lisa thought her grandmother was playing a prank on her because Evan had been dead for five years, it was close to Halloween and Amanda always had a thing for pranks and scaring people so Lisa goes _How, through ouija?”_ she says that part imitating her daughter’s expression and voice “and poor Amanda was so upset, she came to our bedroom to ask us how we didn’t tell her that her brother had died, she was in tears and we were like _You were there! You planned the funeral!_ and she was so confused and just a wreck, we had no idea of what to do and when we took her to the doctor the next day he told us it would be for the best that if she asked about him again to just tell her that he went on a trip or something to avoid distress”. 

“And did she ask about her brother again?” he asks her, he won’t admit it but the idea of finding out that Regulus died has crossed his mind and he doesn’t ever want to think about how he would react to that, and besides, that woman probably had a good relationship with her brother, to hear her little brother died and then having to go through it all over again because she doesn’t remember, it feels haunting.

Mrs.Winkles nods sadly, there is a sorrowful look on her face while she looks down at her hand, he notices her looking at her wedding ring, he thinks it might be a case of getting the wedding ring passed down, maybe it used to belong to Amanda. 

“We came up with so many excuses, we even put them on paper so we wouldn’t forget or try to come up with new ones, we stopped eventually but that’s only because she got worse as time went on, there were days when she was lucid and she would recognize us and stuff and she would remember things, other days she would forget how to cook and had a breakdown and the worse days when she was just the shell of a person and I think the hardest part was not being able to help her because she always helped me, she was more of a mother to me than mine ever was”.

There are tears in her eyes and Sirius tries to comfort her, she puts her hand up and he understands that perfectly as a sign of I don’t want to be touched right now, he has done it himself, he wants to at least give her a napkin to clean up her tears but she beats him to it, she takes tissues out of her right pocket and cleans her face.  
“I don’t know if Boris would want to see her, you should ask him that” she says, her voice doesn’t sound completely even but she manages to continue “if he does then I will give you the telephone of the doctors”. 

He understands that this means _Yes, I just cried, no I don’t want to talk about it,_ again, he has done that too, crying, feeling like a complete idiot for it and wanting to reverse time to make sure that no one saw you, however he doesn’t think that Mrs.Winkles is embarrassed for crying, she doesn’t look like she is, her head is held up high and looking at him in the eyes, even if hers are red but there is this determination there not to cry that he knows too well.

“My condolences and thank you for everything” he still says, even if he doesn’t know if the death was recent or not, she smiles sadly back at him and he signs the papers, most of the information is already filled with his address and where he is from but there is one section that is crossed out,_Relationship to the deceased,_ it makes sense that it is, like Mrs.Winkles says they are not related, he never even met her and she is gone, what would it even say there? _We share a kid technically._

They kind of do in a way and when he thinks of that it’s what gets him to ask the more difficult question “I also need to know, did the police say something else?” 

“Anything in specific?” she asks him as she goes through a folder, like is trying to put some order and struggling with it “they said a lot of things and it was a little messy”. 

“Did they tell you how she died?” he asks her, Mrs.Winkles expression turns sour but she still nods.

“The paper is in Polish but they told me how it happened” she says surprisingly calm even if he can feel some coldness in her eyes and stiffness in the way she sits down, he thinks he is going to have to ask her, to prompt her to get answers but he doesn’t, she takes a deep breath and starts talking“It was a skull fracture that was caused by physical assault, at first, they thought it was the fall, even the injury itself is typically caused by heavy falls but once they looked at where she jumped from and at the distance, they realized if it had been from the fall, it would have been a linear skull fracture and most people that suffer from one are observed in the hospital for a brief amount of time, and can usually resume normal activities in a few days, of course I doubt her husband would have taken her to a hospital but still that’s not what happened to her, it was a completely different fracture that if we are being completely honest she might have survived too if she had gotten immediate medical attention but again she didn’t and we can’t be sure”. 

Sirius stays quiet, unsure of how to tell Boris that there was a chance his mum would still be here, that all his asshole of a father had to do was take her to a damn hospital but he hadn’t instead he— 

“If it wasn’t that fracture then what was it?” he asks, hoping that she would give him some sort of explanation of what he had done. 

She frowns like she is trying really hard to remember something but at the end she shakes her head “I can’t remember the name but it’s the one where it breaks the bone at the base of the skull, they told me that he must have shaken her against the cement floor or that he pummeled her, either way it was a severe break”.

“A severe break” he repeats, trying to imagine how he is going to tell Boris that and he can’t, even the term sounds sickening and painful. 

“The senior investigating officer did tell me that the forensic said that he thinks she was unconscious during that, because there weren’t any defensive wounds and there would have been but he can’t tell for sure, it’s been years, the body wasn’t in perfect conditions and people have been in and out of the crime scene” she says clearly trying to remember everything that they had told her “they said she was one of the lucky ones because they were able to identify her, most of his victims are just bones and dental fragments, mixed with ashes”.

He wants to laugh at the idea of that being considered lucky but he remembers the panic that he had felt when Mrs.Winkles had told him that they might not be able to identify her at all, he hadn’t even let himself think of that option, he didn’t want to think that he had nothing to offer Boris.

“Do you know how she was identified?” he asks, because Boris wanted to know that too.

“Her fingerprints and dental records” she replies as flips the pages of the folder and actually shows it to him. It's also in Polish but he can see her name and recognize the years.

It’s a simple answer and in a way it could be a good enough answer for him but he knows that won’t cut it for Boris, he thinks for a couple of seconds before asking “Do you know what she looked like?”

“I didn’t see any pictures, he did offer to show me but I just couldn't see them” she answers, looking somewhat guilty like that might not have been professional on her part, Sirius can’t blame her, he is not sure if he could look at those pictures either and the idea of Boris seeing them makes him feel like he is going to be sick “but if you need to—”

“No” he says, he doesn’t want Boris to see those pictures, it’s one thing to tell him and a very different thing to show him and he knows he said that he can handle it, he knows that he has seen things that other kids don’t at that age but things are different now and he won’t see that, that might actually be too much for him “I just wanted to know if you knew”.

“They did tell me that she had facial fractures like her nose, the upper and lower jaw, they didn’t know if it was him or the fall but there is that, and the fact is that the years went by, they couldn’t do facial recognition” she says, frowning like she is trying to remember anything else but after a couple of seconds she nods like she thinks that’s all but then the worried look comes back when she asks him “Are you worried about the pictures making it to the newspapers?”

Fuck. 

He hadn’t actually thought about the newspapers, he usually didn’t even buy them but Boris could still find one, he found out by accident because of the newspapers the last time and what if this is somehow front page news? What if Boris sees it when they go to a restaurant? or just walking down the street? Or worse what if he sees it when Sirius isn’t even there. 

Mrs.Winkles awkwardly puts her hand on his shoulder as an attempt to comfort him but it’s clear that she doesn’t know what to do, they stay in silence for a couple of seconds until she says “I actually wanted to talk to you about that”. 

Sirius hopes that she somehow has come up with a solution, she takes an envelope from her bag, it’s opened and she takes three pictures out, for a moment he is worried that are those pictures but he relaxes when he sees that it’s a picture of Boris’s mum, he can recognize her even if she looks younger, probably sixteen, it’s a black and white photo, she is wearing her school’s uniform and smiling awkwardly at the camera like she doesn’t know if the picture has been taken already or not.

“I brought it for Boris” she says pushing it in his direction so that he can look at it better. 

“Thank you for bringing it” he responds, this is something that Boris is going to want to see and that maybe could cheer him up or that he could find comfort in “Did you find it? Did you get it from the police? How—”

“I got it from a reporter, the one that wrote the article that Boris found, I called him when the police wasn’t answering because usually the press has contacts with someone there and I thought maybe he could give me some answers, I can’t even explain to you how I got to that conclusion, it was 3 a.m. and I was desperate and he answered”.

“What did you tell him? You didn’t give him any information—”

“Of course not, I didn’t give him any information about you or about Boris, besides there are protections for minors even if he would want to write about him, he wouldn’t be able to, there are limitations, they can’t show his face or his name and he doesn’t know either” she says that actually manages to calm Sirius down, even if he is feeling some sort incoming headache coming his way “I only told him who I am and what I do but he thought I’m related to her and we only talked about Boris’s mother and here is the funny part, he already knew that she had been identified, I thought he was bluffing but no, he knew before you and I did”. 

“You are kidding?” he asks, actually shocked, wondering how could he even know that, they were calling everyone and got basically no response “How?” 

“No idea but he did, he only said that he had been digging and that he had a lot information, he wasn’t even being threatening, it was like weirdly helpful phone call, he just kept telling me that she had been identified and not to worry, I hung up on him because I thought he was lying and I thought that’s going to be the end of it but no, he called next morning to tell me that he was sorry if he came off as crass in the article, that he didn’t think any of her relatives would be reading it”.

Sirius doesn’t know if he can call the article crass, the only the lines that he had read were the ones that Boris had pointed to, that the body was found inside of a metal barrel in the backyard, he didn’t know if he would describe it as crass, he thinks it’s more complicated than that, maybe the rest of the article had been.  
“He said that the next time he would talk about her, he would do better and he told me that he found some pictures of her” she points at the picture that she had given Sirius “this was a year before meeting Boris’s father and her last school photo too”.

“This must be the year she graduated secondary school” he says looking at the picture again and he sees her smile, there was something about it and it reminds Sirius of the way Boris had smiled in a couple of the pictures he got and it looked so different from the pictures that Boris had shown him, her smile wasn’t hesitant, she didn’t look terrified. 

“Oh no, she never finished, if I’m not wrong, she must have met Boris’s father then and well, the rest is history” Mrs.Winkles explains, her tone sounds mournful as she looks at the picture before turning to the other pictures and passing them to him “He told me that he is not going to use them, but he wanted me to know that he found them and that other reporters could too and that they might use them”. 

Sirius worried about what he was going to see, he is almost relieved when what he saw were mugshots, he thinks it might have been taken the same year that the other picture was taken, she was smiling in both of them, in the first one her smile was kind of goofy like she couldn’t help but laugh and he can tell that she was drunk, her stance is slightly slumped and slightly cross-eyed, he thinks she must have been a giggly drunk, the type that thinks that everything is funny, in the second picture she doesn’t look drunk but she is still smiling, she doesn’t look embarrassed, she almost looks proud, her expression basically says _No regrets. _

“What was she arrested for?” he asks curiously.

“The first one is a liquor law violation, basically underage drinking of some sort and the second one was motor vehicle theft” she points at the first picture and then at the second one, Sirius isn’t surprised, of course a teenager would do that, it even feels mild, at fifteen he got alcohol poisoning for the first time, it had been horrible, he remembers even thinking that _ I’ll never drink again_ but it wasn’t the last time he drank or even the last time he got alcohol poisoning “You have to prepare Boris for whatever might come out in the newspaper”.

“I don’t think that a couple of mugshots would change the way Boris feels about his mum, specially not for something like that” he says staring at the pictures, he thinks he would like them, would probably think it’s cool.

“I’m not talking about that I’m talking about—well, everything” she says before taking another big sigh and she actually closes her eyes before talking like she needs to get her words right, she opens her eyes and says, “I know that Boris loves his mother, and nothing could ever change that, but don’t you think that he if sees people talking badly about her that would hurt his feelings?”

“Why would they talk badly about her? Because she got drunk and she stole a car at sixteen? That’s nothing, if I told you things that I did at that age—” he stops himself remembering that he was talking to his social worker, he didn’t want her to know what he was like as a teenager. 

Mrs.Winkles looks at him carefully, she looks like she wants to laugh and is biting the inside of her cheek not to, she opens and closes her mouth before patting him in the arm and saying “Mr.Black, if you knew what I was like as a teenager then you would know that I don’t judge anyone, whatever you have done, I probably did too”. 

He highly doubts it, he simply can’t imagine the woman in front of him with infinite lists, notes and who seems to be perfectly organized to have done the things he did when he was a teenager but he won’t try to argue about that with her, he thinks that might only make things worse for him. 

Mrs.Winkles stares back at him before looking back at the picture and actually picking it up “The same goes for her, I never got into hard drugs which is for the best but we do have some similarities, we both got alcohol poisoning before we ever should have been drinking, we both participated in vehicle theft, of course I stole a motorcycle, I think she stole a car” she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand like she won’t get into that “and we both ran away at seventeen with what we thought was a good man but then turned out to be a monster and really the biggest difference was that I was able to run away from him and she wasn’t”. 

Sirius doesn’t know what to say to that, he wasn’t expecting it, specially not that last part, for some reason he always thought that her husband and her were high school sweethearts, he wishes that the first thing he says is _I had no idea, I’m so sorry_ but instead what comes out is what he truly feels “I want to kill that guy”.

“Oh, that’s a waste of time, he is already dead” Mrs.Winkles tells him with a shrug but she squeezes his hand for a second as if to say I appreciate the sentiment “I did try to accuse him when he was alive, but he had a lot of money and a lot of influence and I wasn’t what someone would call a perfect victim and we didn’t have much evidence so it was dropped”. 

“What?” He responds outraged. 

“Like I said he is dead” she repeats like that’s supposed to fix everything “I should have known something was wrong with him when my parents liked him, I should have known then and there”. 

“You can’t blame yourself for that—”

“That’s not what we are talking about, you don’t have to tell me what you were like as a teenager, I’m not judging you for whatever you did when you were one and I’m not judging Boris’s mum either, she did the best she could with horrible circumstances, but I know that not everyone is going to see it that way, it’s not just the reporters I’m talking about, I’m talking about people too, some people are going to hear what happened and simply ask _why didn’t she take what little she had and left?”_

“It wasn’t so simple” he says, even if he knows Mrs.Winkles doesn’t mean it that way, the question still makes him angry and he doesn’t want to imagine how Boris might react to it,_Would he be angry? Would he be sad? Would he thinks that it’s so stupid that he’ll ignore it?_

“And that’s just an stupid question” she says like she is talking from experience like she has been asked that before and Sirius realizes it’s likely she had “other people might find out that she suffered from alcohol poisoning and that she overdosed once and they are going to talk about how that’s why she didn’t leave him and didn’t protect her kid because she was drunk and high all the time and when they see these mugshots, they are going to take them as proof that she was too irresponsible to be a parent and if Boris hears anything like that—”

“I don’t even want to think about it” he responds, a part of him wants to disregard it, say that Boris won’t care because he knows it’s a lie but Boris would stop a story to tell him that his mother wouldn’t even let him have scissors, that she took care of her needles and would keep them away from him because he didn’t want Sirius to even think that his mum was a bad mother that was leaving pointy things around the house. 

“You need to tell him what might appear in the newspaper, it will probably be a couple of days before it prints” she says patting him in the back” you have time to prepare him this time so it won’t be like last time that it caught you off guard—”

“It didn’t just catch me off guard, I had no fucking idea of what I was doing or what to even tell him, I had no idea of what to do, I just—felt useless, James had to tell me to call you because I didn’t know what to do”.

He ends up breathing heavily after that and turns to look at Mrs.Winkles that retires her hand slowly and then rests them in her lap “Being a parent comes with this monstrous intense level of anxiety and emotion that I won’t explain because I can tell that you are feeling it already,if you were afraid, that’s fine, you didn’t know what to do, that’s fine too, we all go through that at one point or another, there is always a moment when you have kids when you don’t know what to do, whoever says that doesn’t happen is a liar, I had moments like those too”. 

“What did you do then?” he asks her, it’s partly out of curiosity but also his way of asking for advice, he just doesn’t want to ever feel like he has no idea of what to do when it comes to Boris, he has to be prepared, he has to do what’s right. 

“When Amanda died, my daughter was destroyed, she was crying non-stop, the first day she was holding onto her clothes and sitting in her bed just bawling her eyes out” her voice breaks for a moment before she clears her throat “and it broke my heart because I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t know what to say either, I was heartbroken too and Mendel is usually better at comforting her than me but he had to go to make the funeral arrangements, I still don’t know how he managed to stay calm, it was only after the funeral that he broke—anyway, eventually I sat next to her and the right words appeared and I told her that it’s okay to cry, that it's okay to be angry, it's okay to feel whatever she is feeling right now and it didn’t stop her from crying, we cried together and in that moment it was enough.”

“Do you think that would work with Boris?” he asks helplessly.

“What works with one kid might not work with another one and we have never been in situation like yours” she says honestly and stays quiet for a second like she looking for the correct answer “there isn't one size fits all when it comes to parenting, you need to understand, all children are different, all parents are different, what works for you might not work for me and that’s okay, really the best advice I can give is for you to pay attention to as much advice as you can but you don’t always have to follow it, just listen to it and then carefully evaluate your situation and the conditions of your kid and then act accordingly”. 

He appreciates what she is saying, the last part actually sounds like solid advice but he also knows that it means _I can’t tell you what to do, you have to figure it out on your own, welcome to the parenting world._

She looks down and Sirius can see that she is staring at her watch and the face she makes lets him know that they ran out of time.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go,” she says, closing the folder and trying to get everything inside of her bag.

“No, thank you for everything” he responds, trying to help her, passing her the papers and putting the three pictures aside for Boris to look at later. 

“Say goodbye to Boris from me” she says clearly in a hurry “I’m sorry but my husband is waiting for me downstairs and it’s our anniversary today—”

“OH!” he says, walking her to the door, she doesn’t even put her coat on, only holding with one of her hands and with her gloves in the other “Happy anniversary!”

“Thank you” she responds as he opens the door for her “It was good to see you, Mr.Black, have a nice day”.

He is about to go directly to Boris’s room but instead he goes to the window for a moment just to make sure that Mrs.Winkles made it downstairs okay, when he looks down, he can see her husband, he recognizes him by the sandy hair and he is wearing a long blue coat, while holding a bouquet of flowers, he can’t really look at his expression from where he is but he sees him opening her arms up to pull Mrs.Winkles into a hug that turns into a kiss, she is already wearing her coat and had her gloves on, the last thing Sirius sees is that she holds the flowers and he opens the car’s door for her. 

Sirius closes the window before going to Boris’s room, he can hear chatter and laughter, he almost wants to stay outside a bit longer because he knows once he walks in, it’ll be over because Boris will want to talk about his mum and he doesn’t even know where to start. 

He opens the door as a quietly as he can, trying to protect the moment, Lily is sitting on the edge of the bed and holding the toy dog Boris won at the arcade, she is suggesting an answer to James who is standing and holding one of the books, Boris is sitting down on his desk, writing something down, Remus is kneeling next to Boris, he used to do that with Peter when he was helping him study back when they were at Hogwarts, he never understood why he wouldn’t just go to look for a chair, at least this time there is a pillow under him that he knows James had to convince him to use. 

It reminds him a bit of their study nights at Hogwarts, it’s just missing Peter’s snacks. 

Lily is the first one to notice him there and she gives him a look like she wants to ask him what happened but knows it’s not her place to ask but she holds onto the toy like she is also bracing herself for the answer and preparing for the worst and Sirius carefully sets the pictures down on top of the drawers.

He accidentally closes the door and Boris turns his head around to look at him, he puts his pencil down and looks anxious already but still says “Hey there”.

“Hey” he responds, James gives him a worried look that he knows all too well, it’s his _What happened?_ look, the one he has when he knows something is wrong and wants to help.

“What did she tell you?” Boris asks as he stands up from his seat to get a better look at him, Sirius is unsure if he should start at all with everyone here because he doesn’t know if Boris is completely comfortable with everyone there hearing everything.

Before Sirius can say anything, James walks over to help Remus to stand up and Boris sits on his bed, Lily passes him the toy dog and Boris holds it and squeezes it while looking at him with a pleading look in his eyes.

“I know how they identified her, it was because of her fingerprints and dental records” he says because it’s the first thing he can think of. 

To his surprise Boris lets out a huge sigh of relief and turns to look at Remus who is now sitting down where Boris was “You were right”. 

Remus nods, forcing a smile but it’s clear that he is letting out his own sigh of relief at being right, James who is standing next to him, puts his hand on his shoulder.  
“What else did she say?” Boris asks him, patting the side of the bed next to him for Sirius to sit down.

“What do you want to know?” he asks him even if he already knows what Boris is going to respond.

“Did she tell you how she died?” Boris asks, his expression somewhere in between impatient and scared, he was holding onto the toy before letting go and grabbing Sirius’s hand when he nods, Boris doesn’t squeeze his hand like he did with the toy, he just holds it “Was it the fall?”

“No, it wasn’t” he manages to say, Boris takes a deep breath like he needs a second to process the news, Sirius doesn’t say anything, he only holds Boris’s hand and does the same when he sees Boris’s other hand shaking. 

He looks at Lily over Boris’s shoulder, she opens her mouth and closes it and he sees her consider putting her hand on Boris’s shoulder as a sign of support and decides against it, James holds one of her hands and when Sirius and him make eye contact, he mouths I’m sorry.

He doesn’t need to tell him what he is sorry for, he knows what it means._I’m sorry that I can’t do anything about this, I’m sorry that I can’t fix it, I’m sorry that this happened at all, it shouldn’t have._

Sirius responds silently _Me too_

“How did it happen then?” Boris asks then, with determination but his voice cracks at the end of the word, he is not crying but his eyes are glassy, he almost looks afraid to blink because he knows a tear will roll down his cheek and he can’t let that happen but then the look in his eyes hardens “It was my dad wasn’t it?” 

Sirius nods again, this time Boris doesn’t need to take a second, he looks like he was expecting that, he takes a shuddering breath and asks him “What did he do to her?” 

“He attacked her, they aren’t sure how, if he was hitting her or shaking her but they know it was against the floor and that it was skull fracture” he answers, hoping that’s enough, the words _a severe break_ repeating themselves on his head, he sees Remus cover his mouth when he says that, as if to cover a noise, he thinks he almost hissed in pain from hearing that. 

“But people survive those” Boris argues like he knows from his own experience and Sirius has a momentary urge to look into his head for any signs of bumps or cuts or—_Please don’t let it be both,_ but he doesn’t because Boris’s voice sounds completely broken as a couple of tears fall down his face, when Sirius tries to clean his tears, Boris squeezes his hands and doesn’t let him move them as more tears fall “Why didn’t she?”

Sirius tries to find the right words to answer that question, even if he doesn’t think that there are any and he wants to comfort him, he wants to run his hands through his hair and hold him, comfort him, Boris’s face is crumpled as he breathes in, his hands are trembling and his voice is shaken but strong as he says “He had to do something else to her, it couldn’t have been just that”. 

He can see the scenarios running in Boris’s mind and he doesn’t want him to imagine what else could have happened to his mother, he doesn’t want him to go there, he squeezes his hands to get his attention “It was a severe break, a skull fracture that is the type when the base of your skull breaks, maybe it would have been different if she had gotten medical attention but we can’t know for sure”.

Boris blinks, looking up at him, he sniffs a little and swallows but nods as well, at first he thinks he is just taking the news in but he notices that he is asking him to continue, he knows that by the way Boris is staring intently at him, he has looked at him like that before, not just when he was telling him a story or something particularly significant, he could really be talking about nothing and Boris would stare at him like he was trying to imprint every word into his memory, a part of him loved it, that he found whatever he was saying so important, but it was a little unnerving as well, it meant that he always had to be careful to mean what he said. 

And in this situation, it feels like that feeling has been enhanced and he remembers Remus’s words _He hangs onto your every word so you better be careful not to say anything stupid in front of him,_ he knows that he said it jokingly but right now that’s the thing he is most afraid of. 

Remus sees him staring at him and he sees him straightening, leaning forward “Do you want water, Boris?”

Boris turns to Remus slowly; he sniffs again and in a tiny voice asks, “Can you make tea?” 

“Of course,” Remus says, sounding relieved that he took the offer. 

“I’ll help you with it” James offers, patting him in the shoulder and then looking at Boris, he gave him a shoulder squeeze that Sirius knew Boris appreciated because he half smiles at him.

“Thank you, I have no idea where anything is in that kitchen” Remus says like somehow Sirius is the messy one, in different circumstances, he would argue that he also wouldn’t be able to find anything in that cluttered mess that Remus calls a kitchen but he makes Boris laugh after that comment, and right now that feels like a miracle. 

Lily stands up from the bed and she is the last to go but not before turning to Boris and giving him a kiss on top of his head and she turns to Sirius and smiles at him like she is telling that Everything is going to be okay before leaving and closing the door. 

They stay in silence for a couple of seconds until Boris asks concerned “they couldn’t recognize her face, could they?” 

“Well, they couldn’t do facial recognition because so many years had gone by” he starts saying, Boris nods like that makes sense but also like he knows there is more and Sirius sighs before saying “She also had facial fractures like her nose, the upper and lower jaw, they don’t know if it was him or the fall”. 

“I don’t know either,” Boris says, sounding exhausted.

Sirius realizes the most important thing to say to him “The forensic did say that she was unconscious”. 

Boris’s face is blank, he only blinks and he sighs, he finally lets go of his hands and rubs his face, his voice sounds so weak and tired as he says “You are not just saying that to make me feel better, yes?”

“Of course not, he did say that he wasn’t sure but that there weren’t any defensive wounds and there would have been if she was conscious” he says hoping that Boris will understand what this means, that she didn’t suffer, he is glad when he sees Boris draw in a harsh breath of relief.

It’s a surprise when the next thing he does is dropping his head on Sirius’s lap and curling his knees in until he is a little ball, he doesn’t cry, there is no blubbering, no whimpering, just a little bit of sniffling and he nuzzles closer, Sirius brings up his hand palm up to his hair and rakes his fingers through the strands, he strokes his messy hair that he really needed to brush but that can be done later. 

“You brought something” Boris says out of the blue after a couple of seconds of silence “you had something in your hand, were those the papers, you checked out with Mrs.Winkles?”

“No, it was something she brought for you” he tells him, Boris whirled around to face him with ogling brown eyes. 

“What is it?” he asks him curiously, a hint of a smile on his tired face. 

The hint becomes a full blown smile when he passes him the pictures and his hands are shaking again and there are tears in his eyes but it’s not the same as they were a couple of seconds ago, he is clearly happy, enjoying the sight of her so clearly, viscerally alive even if it’s only in the pictures, he throws an arm around Sirius and clings to him, he does the same in return, he cries until he can only hiccup weakly but he laughs too. 

“She told me that she hated this uniform, apparently she always broke dress code” he says laughingly points at the high school picture and when he sees the mugshot for stealing the car, his laughter dies down “we actually had a plan to steal a car once to escape, she would always explain to me how to start one without the keys”.  
“Really?” Sirius asks as they both look at the picture.

“I memorized it, I can still do it, I even know how to drive, not perfectly but still” he says sounding proud of himself before turning to look at Sirius to explain, clearly to calm his nerves “I only did it a couple of times and I would always return the car, Shirley T says it’s not smart to steal it because you can’t really keep it, you have to sell it by parts and that’s only if you are desperate for money because those people are scummy and might not even pay you what it’s worth”.

Sirius nods along to Boris’s words, it makes sense even if he has no idea what’s the correct amount you should get for the parts of a stolen car, he is just glad that  
Shirley T and Boris weren’t desperate enough to deal with those scummy people. 

“It’s weird” Boris mentions looking at the mugshot of his mother, the one where she was laughing “she was never like this when she was drunk, she was always sulky...but I guess things were different back then, you said it was a year before she met my father, yes?”

“Yeah” he responds simply before kissing the top of his head when he sees his expression become a little sour when he gets an idea “Do you want to frame it?” 

“The mugshots?” Boris responds, he sits down to be able to look at him directly in the eyes, he sounds mildly amused but there is this disbelief too like he is asking him _Really? I can?_

“Sure” he says, it should be obvious that Boris can do that “You can put it in your room or in the living room, wherever you want, this is your house”. 

Boris looks at him, he doesn’t look completely sure but he does look around his room like he is thinking of where to put it, half-smiling and half-frowning when he looks at Sirius like he is messing with him “You are not serious about the living room”.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asks him, tempted to go for the frames that he bought and put the pictures in the living room right now, even if they were meant to be for something else, he can always get more tomorrow. 

“Because what if you want to bring a girl over and she sees the picture, what are you going to do then?” Boris asks like he has found the perfect argument and Sirius can’t help but laugh “I mean you can always spin it into a sad widower story, I would let you but—”

“Boris, you don’t have to worry about me bringing any girls or anyone for that matter, that’s not going to happen” Sirius responds putting his hands on Boris’s shoulders, he pulls away slightly, looking wary. 

“Why?” he asks, Sirius is about to explain that he is simply not interested when Boris says in an accusatory tone “What did they tell you?”

“What?” he asks confused and Boris tenses, frowning and looking down, Sirius makes his tone softer when he asks “Tell me what about what?” 

Boris looks at him like he is studying him, like he wants to make sure his reaction is genuine and he seems to realize that he is, there is a regretful expression on his face before responding “Nothing, I just—my dad used to bring a lot of girls over, it wasn’t the highlight of my day, I didn’t like it, yes? I don’t know if maybe Mrs.Winkles—or maybe Mr.Kremer or Doctor Green—” 

“They didn’t mention that” he replies, Boris looks down again but he can see some relief in his face like he was glad that hadn’t come up.

“I thought maybe they told you about that and that’s why you don’t want to bring girls or whatever over” he says looking at him now but he still looks defensive with his arms crossed “I don’t know what they told you about me but you don’t have to worry about me, if you want to bring anyone over I’ll lock my door, I won’t come out—”

“No, you don’t have to do that” Sirius responds, trying to reassure him but it doesn’t work, Boris only looks more nervous and almost fidgety as he shakes his head.  
He looks at him with his big brown eyes and says hesitantly “I’ll do it for you—”

“Listen, I’m not going to bring anyone over because I simply don’t want to, I’m seriously not interested, it has nothing to do with you” Boris still looks skeptical so he adds, “You can ask James, or Remus, Peter, Lily, they’ll tell you the same, I’ve just never been interested in the dating scene,” and Boris’s face lightens a little but he says, “Really? I would have thought you would have been popular in high school.”

“Oh I was,” Sirius says, because it is true, even if he had plenty of enemies as well, he also had loads of admirers, James used to tease him about it, “but from my point of view, I had better things to do than date, like learning to play electric guitar or ride a motorcycle, or just generally breaking rules and causing trouble for my teachers with pranks and sneaking out of grounds, things like that.”

“That makes...sense, you would do that, you like those things and you wouldn’t bring someone over without telling me, you are not like that” Boris nods, staring at him like he is making sure he is there and he opened his mouth to say something but snaps it shut again, folding his arms and eyes screwed shut, he sighs, resting his head on Sirius’s arm “I don’t have to worry about that”. 

He sounds like he is trying to calm himself down and Sirius carefully puts his arms around him to bring him closer, they stay quiet for a couple of seconds, that feel almost anxiety inducing and he feels his stomach turn when he thinks about what might have happened and he feels his hatred for Boris’s father grow because of course, he wouldn’t care about who Boris is comfortable or uncomfortable around, or about what he might have wanted.

“Did something happen with your dad and one of his girlfriends?” he asks him, Boris laughs, it sounds like he thinks it’s innocent to think that. 

“They weren’t his girlfriends, it was like he was with them for the night and they would leave” he explains weakly, miming opening and closing the door, his back stiffens as he says “some of them were nice, others weren’t”. 

He wants to insist but Boris looks at him like he is pleading him not to, he doesn’t want to talk about this, he can tell by the way he avoided answering the question and by the way he is looking down and even with all the horrible scenarios that are already running through his head, he strokes Boris’s hair and kisses his forehead and tries to focus on the fact that he is safe now.

Boris doesn’t say anything for a couple of seconds, he is still looking down but eventually he looks up at him and he fumbles for his hand and holds it as he says “I’ll tell you about it but not today, yes?” 

“Tell me whenever you feel ready” he responds, hoping that will make him feel more comfortable “or not at all”.

Boris nods solemnly, still looking a little uneasy as he starts to say “I want to—” but he stops himself, looking down once again, almost lost in a thought “I’m going to take a shower, I’ll be out in a second”.  
Sirius nods as Boris lets go off his hand “I’ll go make sure that your tea didn’t turn cold”. 

Boris snorts as Sirius goes out of the room, he expects to find chatter in the kitchen instead he finds Remus sitting by himself and tapping his fingers against the table, when he sees him the first thing he says “Hi, you are out of tea bags”. 

“Ah” Sirius says, that explained James and Lily’s absence, he walks inside of the kitchen and sits in front of Remus as he rubs his eyes, he actually hadn’t noticed that they used the last one this morning “Yeah, I usually never run out of tea but he drinks it all the time, before, well…”

He doesn’t know how to finish that sentence _I mainly had them for you,_ it’s not that Sirius doesn’t like tea, he enjoys it every once in a while, but he usually made sure he had it in case that Remus would want it, the same way he always makes sure to have James’s favorite biscuits, bought that robe for Lily because he knows that sometimes she likes to fall asleep wearing one or to always buy cheese because he knows that Peter likes it. 

Sirius feels like he could say that to any of them without any problem but with Remus, it’s different, he doesn’t want it to sound like he is throwing it in his face like he is saying _Look at this nice thing I did for you, doesn’t that make up for everything? _

“I know” Remus says, it partly sounds like he is saying _I know you do that it’s kind of obvious_ I know you do that, it’s nice way, and he smiles nervously, the one that he does when he doesn’t know how to put Sirius at ease, he thinks that he is having one of those moments when he wishes that James was here instead of him, his expression does become more concerned as he asks “How is Boris?”

“He is—I don’t know, he is calm right now and he was able to take the news and Mrs.Winkles got him some pictures of his mother and we are thinking of framing them and now he is taking a shower and it’s probably for the best that you weren’t able to make tea, he doesn’t like when it goes cold, he likes it hot, boiling hot and with three spoons of sugars, he also likes sandwiches with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff and sometimes just bread with sugar but the first one might be replacing it” he says, starting to notice that he is rambling, trying to avoid the topic, maybe because he wants to stop thinking about it, not about Boris but about the fact that there is still so much stuff they have to get into, he still has to tell him about the newspapers and how in the hell is he supposed to prepare him for what might come out there?

He would _really_ kill for a glass of wine right now. 

“Well, to be honest I don’t see the point of tea if it’s cold—”

“Do you still have my bottle of wine?” he asks, Remus could hypothetically Apparate to his apartment and get it for him.

“Yes” Remus responds staring at him warily “but I thought the whole point was to keep it away from Boris and bringing it here tonight, it’s just—”

“It’s just what, Remus? It’s not going to be near Boris and I’ll keep my eye on the bottle—”

Remus rolls his eyes and says “What if you get distracted for whatever reason, you think that Boris doesn’t know how to replace alcohol? That he can’t drink it and then replace the rest with water? It’s the oldest trick in the book, I’ve done it”.

Sirius doesn’t know whether to be annoyed or glad that Remus said that, especially when he knows he could have said _How? Are you going to drink it all in one gulp? And then what? If you don’t feel like that’s enough, you are just going to try to find more and then get alcohol poisoning for the tenth time?_ And do it loud enough for Boris to hear it, he knows he could, Remus has seen him at his worst and if there was a moment to throw it in his face this would be the one. 

“I know you don’t always get blackout drunk but you could and frankly, do you even want the possibility of him seeing you like that?” he asks, his voice hushed but firm. 

“No” an involuntary laugh comes out even if the idea actually horrifies him, Remus actually looks relieved to hear him say that but he can tell that he is still worried that he might change his mind, he looks at the door behind him like he is impatiently waiting for either James or maybe Boris to walk through it, he doesn’t know whether to feel angry because Remus thinks he doesn’t have self-control or feel horrible because he knows exactly why he thinks that. 

They stay in tense silence, Sirius doesn’t know what to do, if he should just apologize and promise that this won’t happen again when he knows it might, the next thing that comes out of his mouth isn’t an apology or a promise though, instead he asks “When did you steal alcohol from your parents?”

Remus looks at him like he is insane or has a memory problem and for a second there, he thinks that it might have been during or after fifth year and he had a bender to cope with everything Sirius had put him through.

“Remember my parents’s anniversary party?” he tells him, tilting his head still looking a little confused.

“I thought you had permission for that” he responds, he really thought that Remus’s parents had agreed to it, he stares back at him and slowly shakes his head.

“Don’t you think that if I had permission then I would have served you the drink there with the main party, instead I told Peter and you to follow me to the kitchen?” he asks, Sirius actually thought that he was trying to hide because Carmelita and Alejo were trying to set him up with their daughter Cinzia “it wasn’t a big deal, it’s not like we made margaritas, or we finished the whole bottle, it was one drink for each one of us—well, you did drink Peter’s”.

“That’s not on me, your cousin Flor came to ask Peter to dance with her and he left it there, it was going to go to waste and now that I think about it I was doing you a favor, I was getting rid of the evidence of the crime—”

“There was no crime! It wasn’t illegal! We were sixteen and we were at home!” he crosses his arms, he looks like he wants to laugh for a second before saying “I just knew that my parents wouldn’t like it but also that they wouldn’t notice and they didn’t so it’s fine”.

“Remus John Lupin, stealing alcohol on your parent’s anniversary, have you no shame?” he responds, trying to imitate Lyall’s voice in a stern way, it doesn’t work completely but he would have completely failed as Hope. 

“Oh, fuck off, he wouldn’t talk like that” Remus says, there is no heat in his voice and he is actually laughing properly a second later “he would do his sad voice, it would be all _I’m not mad, just disappointed_

and that’s actually so much worse”. 

Sirius has never listened to Lyall making that voice but he wonders if it’s similar to the one Remus makes, not the one when he is genuinely angry, Sirius can deal with that, it’s his sad voice that sounds like he has given up and like you just wrecked something irreparable and it always made Sirius want to completely disappear off the face of the earth. 

“I know you can’t imagine it but it’s really the worst” Remus says, after Sirius hasn’t said anything for a bit.

“I can imagine it” he says, feeling like an idiot for saying that and wanting to change the topic “I never thanked you for picking Boris up and well, everything you did today, so thank you”.

He hopes he knows that includes stopping him from getting that bottle of wine a couple of minutes ago. 

“Don’t worry about that, I like spending time with him” he says with a fond smile on his face as he jokingly says “besides it’s nice to finally be liked by one of your family members”.

Sirius smiles for a couple of seconds before he remembers two family members that Remus seems to be forgetting “What about my Uncle Alphard or Andromeda? Do they not count?” 

“I met them once or twice; I doubt they even remember me” he replies like Sirius is the one being ridiculous somehow.

“Are you saying that my Uncle Alphard is already a decrepit old man that can’t remember who he meets, and Andromeda just has a terrible memory?”  
“No, I just think that I’m not that memorable” he responds simply with a shrug.

“Fine” he says because it’s hard to argue with Remus when he is already convinced of something and it’s even harder to convince him that people actually like him, and now that he is thinking about it, there is another family member he is ignoring “What about Narcissa?”

“What about her?” Remus asks him with a confused expression like he doesn’t get why Narcissa is being brought up in this conversation at all.

“She liked you, that’s why I always found it a little ironic that you disliked her so much” Sirius says, staring expectantly at Remus, wanting to see how he would react to that and he is a little disappointed when all he does is blink and frown like Sirius just told him something that can’t be right. “It’s true, I mean she didn’t outright say it but she always complained about James and Peter and she was always telling me that I should stop hanging out with them but she never said that about you, so it was pretty obvious that she liked you”.

“Really?” he replies surprised, Sirius nods to confirm it, he is not frowning anymore and he doesn’t look like he thinks he is lying but he does look quite shocked “To be completely honest with you, I always imagined that she lumped us all together as _Sirius’s annoying friends_ and that she would look down on me because my mother is a muggleborn and I’m not well off”. 

Sirius doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, they are talking about Narcissa here, not Bellatrix. 

“Please tell me you are joking, she didn’t think that at all, she had VERY specific opinions about each of you, for starters she kind of hates James, even if she liked him when we first met years ago, that changed after second year” he expects Remus to be surprised, but he only nods and shrugs almost as if to say _What else is new?_ He actually looks more surprised at the mention that there was a point when Narcissa liked James “and with Peter, she always said _I don’t know him well enough to dislike him_ but that’s bullshit, it was clear that she didn’t think well of him, one time I actually forced her to admit how she felt, and she said that it just seemed like he didn’t want to apply himself and would rather use my efforts”. 

Now Remus does look defensive and a little angry, his frown grows and Sirius knows that he is getting ready to defend Peter, and he gets why he wants to defend him, but he needs Remus to hear what he is going to say next “But you, I always knew she liked you because she didn’t have ONE bad thing to say about you and one time she actually said at least you knew how to take things with consideration, actually be thoughtful, so yes, I know she liked you”.

Remus listen to that last part still frowning like he doesn’t think that’s right, for a moment Sirius thinks Remus is going to ask him if he is sure he heard her right but instead he says “I never in a million years would have thought that Narcissa would have one nice thing to say about me”. 

He does laugh this time before throwing himself to his next story “One time she was giving me yet ANOTHER lecture about how I was so irresponsible and needed to grow up and not be so reckless, you know the usual, and during this lecture, she mentioned how you kept a schedule for studying for end of term instead of being haphazard like I was and she was basically saying _Why can’t you be RESPONSIBLE like your friend Remus?”_ he imitates her voice at the end, he remembers how much that used to annoy her, specially when they were kids. 

“Is that why you would make fun of my schedule?” Remus asks like he is finally putting two and two together, Sirius can’t believe that’s what he has taken out of this story “I wasn’t even aware that Narcissa would lecture you”.

“Oh come on, I said that she was always bothering me, and don’t tell me that constant lecturing sounds like a fun way to pass the time”. 

“No but it’s not what I pictured, I used to lecture Flor about those things like responsibility and school work” Remus says, still sounding a little shocked like he can’t imagine that he and Narcissa would ever do the same thing “she also made fun of my schedule”. 

“I always liked her” he says even if he has only seen her a handful of times but she was hilarious, he remembers her talking about how she was a hall monitor and how she got along with her teachers so she could get away with anything, she was similar to Remus even if he could tell that she was more confident than him “A pity that things didn’t work out for her and Peter”. 

“It was probably for the best” Remus says, he actually sounds glad. 

“Wait a second! You didn’t like them together, did you?” He gives him a few seconds to deny it, he looks like he wants to, he opens his mouth and lifts his finger up but nothing comes out “You thought she was too good for Peter, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t” he finally says shaking his head “I just think that she got into college the next year and got that scholarship, I wouldn’t want her to stay in London for some guy—ANY guy, not just Peter and fine, maybe—fine, I didn’t like the idea of Peter dating my little cousin”. 

“Isn’t she like just a few months younger than you?” he remembers her bringing it up enough times for him to remember but not enough for him to know the exact number, now he is wondering if there was a point when Remus was constantly reminding Flor that he was older than her, the same way he did with Regulus and Narcissa. 

He knows that it must have been different, Flor and Remus hadn’t grown up together like Narcissa and him had, they would only see each other during the holidays but when Flor was sixteen, their grantmother had gotten sick and they had been told she was going to pass away soon,that and her father losing his job had made them decide to live with Remus’s family and they lived together for two years, even if they would only see each other during vacations, they still had become incredibly close.

“Aren’t you the same guy that almost had a heart attack because he heard his son was dating a girl five months older?” 

“That’s completely different, you are being ridiculous and I was on the verge of having a heart attack because I thought my son dated a thirteen year old when he was ten, besides I thought you would be one to agree that he is too young to date at all, you are the one that freaks out every time you hear he watched a movie that isn’t age appropriate”. 

“I do think that having a girlfriend at ten is a little advanced, I didn’t even have friends at that age” Remus tries a joke before his expression turning more serious “listen, I know why you are worried and it’s not that I don’t worry about that, I do think he is too young to be dating at all but their relationship sounded perfectly innocent, he told me about how their dates were eating lunch together and watching T.V. at her house, when her mum was there and her dad wasn’t and they passed each other notes in class, held hands, listened to music, actual kid stuff that he got to do, stuff we did, things that he didn’t miss out on and from what he said, it sounded like that little girl didn’t have the best life either and I just think that they gave each other company when they needed it the most and isn’t it that a good thing?”

Sirius wants to argue that Remus doesn’t know why he was worried at all, not really, his mind clearly didn’t go where Sirius’s mind went, it’s not just about Boris being too young to date at all which just for the record he is, it was about what a thirteen-year-old would do to his kid.

Yes, he knows it was a year before when they didn’t even know each other and there was nothing that he could do about it but that makes it worse, the idea of someone doing that to Boris just feels like too much for him to even think about.

Let alone putting it into words and saying it to Remus.

Specially when the words _ actual kid stuff that he got to do, stuff we did, things that he didn’t miss out on_ do create some sort of relief after all, to learn the fact that Boris wasn’t always alone, always being hurt by him, that he was able to have friends—fine, girlfriend, whatever, to do the same types of things that he used to do with James, Remus and Peter, hearing that does make him feel better, like that wasn’t something that he needs to protect Boris from.  


So there really is no point in trying to explain to Remus the real reason he was worried.  


“You are right, and it does sound like Kristen is better company than Vernon’s family and—”  


“Don’t go there” he says like he is regretting agreeing to go already “I have been thinking of all the ways that dinner could go horribly wrong, like I already think it’s going to be bad”.  


“I don’t think it’s actually going to be a shitshow” Sirius says honestly, he doesn’t think Rahmiya or David would ever let that happen, they are always peacemakers, they are the main reason why none of them have ever gotten into a heated discussion with Petunia, even if his biggest concern is Vernon’s family saying literally _anything_ to Boris, he’ll hopefully keep them as far away from him as possible “I think that if they are anything like Vernon, they’ll be there and be generally unpleasant, they’ll wrinkle their noses at Rahmiya’s food like she isn’t an amazing cook, they’ll talk how much money they have like it’s actually impressive and then they’ll go home and talk badly about us behind our backs and call it a night”.

“What if they are worse than him? What if they say something too horrible? What if it’s not just backhanded compliments? What if one of us punches them in the face?” Remus asks, oh, he wasn’t kidding about how he was thinking of all the ways dinner could go wrong. 

“Are you saying the last part because of me? I’ll let you know that I can control myself and return a good backhanded compliment verbally” he says even if he isn’t sure of what his reaction might be if they say something to Boris, he did want to go punch Vernon when he just _assumed _ that James was a layabout and then later clearly looked down on him for just wanting to do charity work, but of course he would.  


“Not you, I was talking about me” he says pointing at himself like he thought that was obvious “my mum doesn’t like them and I know they were horrible to her because I tried to ask about them and she won’t tell me because she thinks it will upset me and she says she can handle it and I know she can because she deals with clients that are difficult or rude or straight up racist and treat her like she is stupid but she is going to see them outside of work, she can’t distract them or just focus on talking about dresses and getting them what they want so they’ll leave early, we’ll have to stay with them and eat dinner, do small talk and when I think about what they are going to say, I want to punch them in the face and I know I can’t because then I will look like the crazy Latino that can’t control his temper and I’ll be proving them right”.  


Remus looks frustrated and angry, especially at the last part, he rubs his eyes and temples before dropping his head on top of the table and hiding underneath his hands and arms, something he did when he was too angry and tired to deal with everything.  
Sirius knows that Remus holds himself back a lot, not always but Remus has more self-control than he has, and that the last thing he wants is to be seen as violent and it’s fucked up for people to assume he is, and that he didn’t just have to deal with it here but also in the wizarding world, because when most people think of werewolves, that’s the first thing they think about, they think _violent, dangerous, savage monsters._

He is not proud to admit that’s the first thing that came to mind when Remus had confessed that he was a werewolf, he is relieved now that he didn’t say anything and grateful that James had been the one to speak and was immediately accepting in a way that him and Peter just hadn’t been, his first reaction was to hug Remus and then he said _ Remus, this changes nothing._

James had said the same thing to him and Peter but in a completely different tone, it was firm and making it clear there was no arguing when he said _This changes nothing, Remus is our friend._

And Peter at least accepted it when James said that. He feels his face turn red in shame when he remembers that later he actually had to be told off by James in private, that Remus had been their friend for years and so he should know perfectly well that Remus isn’t violent, he is not dangerous.

He is none of those things and the idea of someone in Vernon’s family thinks he is, lets him know that they deserve to be punched in the face, the same way his child-self did.

It’s annoying that after thinking all of that, the best he can come up with to say to Remus is “If you want me to punch them in the face for you, I will”.

It’s a useless offer that he knows Remus won’t take but it gets him to look up at him, frowning for a second before laughing.

The main door opens and closes, Lily and James have finally arrived with three boxes of tea because they didn’t know which one Boris likes best, when Boris comes out of the bathroom, wearing his pajamas and with a towel in his head, he looks at the three boxes and says that they shouldn’t have, that he likes everything, meaning that Sirius doesn’t have to go get more boxes of tea for now.

Remus prepares the tea, while Sirius makes some sandwiches, when he opens the pantry, he notices Boris staring at the peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, he usually only eats them for breakfast but tonight he stares at it and back at Sirius, tilting his head and trying a sad puppy eyes.

When he sees Sirius making them, Boris’s eyes and smile widens at the same time, making him look like an adorable cartoon cat.

James and Lily make sandwiches with tomato and cheese, while Remus decides to make grilled cheese with ham, he gives Sirius a look of _You want one?_ and he nods.

They end up eating in silence, except for a moment when Lily tells Remus that the tea might be too hot for Boris who looks at her directly in the eye while drinking it as a response, so then she relaxes and smiles, the silence isn’t uncomfortable, it’s the opposite of that, it’s like all they need to do right now is eat and be there together.

Lily, James and Remus don’t spend the night because it’s still a school night and they have to be up early tomorrow, they say goodbye and Sirius and Boris go to bed, he doesn’t ask for a bedtime story or for him to read a book or anything, he just says he is going to brush his teeth and Sirius changes his clothes.

When he walks out of the bathroom, Boris runs inside of the room, he almost looks like he is running from something, he didn’t want to be left alone and at first Sirius doesn’t get why, he never had any problem turning off the light of the room before but when he tries to ask about it, he shakes his head.

“Just tired” he shakes his head before jumping to Sirius’s bed and looks at him while he closes the door.

He gets inside of the bed and he is turning off the lamps when Boris asks, “Can you leave them until I fall asleep? Please”.

“Sure” he says, he wants to ask why but he doesn’t want him to think that he doesn’t want to do it.

Boris doesn’t say anything in response, he just rubs his cheek against his arm and wraps his arms around it to like he would a stuffed animal, or a comfort object, he doesn’t say anything, he only buries his head more firmly and Sirius carefully reaches out to touch his hair, he doesn’t want to spook him, he does that until he is sure that he is asleep and even after, he strokes his hair back and brushes his hand through it until he notices a scar that he hasn’t seen before, he is not sure how he missed it, he brushes Boris’s hair every morning, how did he miss it—

The only reason why he stops is because Boris stirs and he doesn’t want to wake him up, he has school tomorrow, Sirius has to take him to school tomorrow, he should go to sleep as well, he turns of the lamp so that he won’t keep looking but it takes a while for him to fall asleep too but eventually he does.

-.-.-.-

The next day, after school, he and Boris get ready to finally start the family tree project, well not really, they are just setting up the tree, it’s supposed to be made of paper mache and they have to paint it, they are just going to do that today and deal with the pictures later when it dries.

He puts an old white sheet on top of the kitchen table, while Boris goes to change, saying that he is going to put on his old orphanage clothes, Sirius simply puts on an old apron and thinks that will work, he is taking out all the material until he hears the telephone ring, he answers it.

“Good Afternoon” a voice says, it sounds strangely polite and professional but also familiar, it takes a moment for Sirius to recognize it.

“Nick?” he asks, feeling a little unsure.

“Yeah, hi” he responds speaking in his normal voice now “I wasn’t sure if I was getting your phone number right and I was afraid to be calling a stranger and then I feel like I have to small talk anyway, good thing it is you, Lucille gave me your telephone number, she told me what you two disscussed yesterday”.

“Yeah, what do you think?” he asks because he didn’t really think about how Nick might feel about it, he didn’t know if he would be prideful or would just feel weird about it or maybe he didn’t completely trust him after their last interaction.

“What do I think? Well, I’m with Lucille, we are not taking your money as a present, that’s not happening, maybe as a loan but not a present, that’s just insane, don’t get me wrong, it’s sweet really but insane” his tone is strange, he sounds both wary and enthusiastic like this are amazing news but he is not letting himself believe it yet, Sirius can hear him tapping something against a table, he isn’t sure if it’s a pen or a pencil “Before we moved, I thought about moving the restaurant here, I really thought about it but it was literally economically impossible, specially with us not knowing the city or anyone here, except for like four or five of my friends, it just wasn’t smart but I didn’t really give up on it, I kept all the paperwork for how much everything would cost and—I just—I’m not saying yes yet, I need to take a look at your finances and we’ll go from there”.

“That’s fine” he says, Lucille had mentioned that part already “When can we do that?”

“Well, Lucille says that she wants you to take a couple of days to think about it and be sure that you are making the right decision and you are not doing it on a whim,  
I personally want to do everything right away, so you won’t change your mind” he says, he sounds actually worried that Sirius might.

“I’m not going to change my mind, I already told Lucille that I would,” he says trying to reassure him.

“Yeah and you always keep your word, don’t you?” He doesn’t even sound angry and it doesn’t come off as a jab, Sirius almost wishes he did because then he could handle it but there is no venom in his words, he sounds calm but not at ease, like it takes effort for him to sound so put together “Don’t get me wrong, like I said we are...fine as long as you **don't ** do it again” he makes an small pause like he is thinking of who else he could have told or giving him time to come clean and when he doesn’t say anything, Nick says “but it still happened”.

In the last part, his words feel sharp and defensive like he is telling him _Don’t tell me I have no reason to act this way, don’t act like that didn’t happen, don’t treat me like I’m being crazy here._

“That’s fair” he says after realizing that he has been quiet for a while, he is unsure of what to say, if he should apologize again, if he should promise that it won’t happen again, that it hasn’t happened since the last time they talked to each other—

“Good, anyway, are you free on Friday? Maybe in the afternoon so that I can take a look at your finances, I can come to your house or you can come to my workplace, my office is right on top of a bar—”

“Are you taking my offer to get drunk and not tell Lucille?” he says, only half joking.

“One time when I was in college, I fought a guy who was trying to steal my wallet, I had twelve dollars, I’m not about to give them willingly to some guy in exchange for a horrible drink that is more ice and water than whiskey” Nick says scoffing, Sirius is tempted to say it sounds like he has tried them before so he technically he already gave it to the guy “they serve food there is decent, not great but good enough, I’ll order some burgers and chips or whatever, anyway are you free on Friday?”

“Yeah, I think I’m free in the afternoon, I only have to drop Boris off at school and then go to take the psychological assessment, it’s supposed to be only four hours—”

“Oh, you are taking that?” Nick responds, he could feel a hint of concern in his voice “I took it two days ago”.

“You have?” he responds surprised, he thought it was only for people that were trying to adopt and the situation is different.

“I had to so that I could live with Lucille and Gyuri eventually, and it’s only to make sure that I’m not a murderer or something like that, I’m sure that they are different  
because of the different situations, but mine did last four hours” he explains, this time his voice didn’t sound calm, even if he was clearly trying to make it sound that  
way, it wasn’t casual, it felt rushed.

“Did it go well? When are you getting the results?” he asks, feeling curious, maybe Nick could prepare him for it, that’s what was driving him nuts, maybe their questions would be different but they could be similar too, he has no idea of what he is going to ask him.

“Sirius, you don’t get the results, the psychologist writes a letter and he sends it to the adoption agency and they can request the results, I’m not sure if you can” his voice is slow and careful but direct at the same like he wants to give it to him straight but he knows he is not going to take it well, maybe because Nick himself didn’t take it well either “I found out at the end of the session, I’m sure they’ll do the same with you”.

“That’s bullshit! I have to sit there and and tell some fucking stranger whatever he wants to know about me and I don’t even get to see the bloody fucking results?!”

“I won’t argue with you there,” Nick says, his voice is strong and steady like he is trying to calm him down, it’s not working. “It was fucked up, I was mad too, that’s why I’m giving you a heads up so that you can make peace with it”.

“Make peace with it? How the fuck I may supposed to make peace with something that it’s completely unfair and makes no sense?” he asks him feeling frustrated and wanting to pull his own hair, slap himself or something like that “Why am I even taking this stupid test if i’m not going to the see the stupid results?”

“You have to make peace with it because you still have to do it and as for the second question: you are doing it for Boris, try to remember that when you are there because I swear it felt like a fucking interrogation and I wanted to—” he stops himself almost like he is realzing that it’s not helping, it’s only making Sirius feel so much worse about it because if Nick, the person who managed to not get mad at Sirius when he did the only thing he asked him not to do, struggled there, fuck, what the hell is Sirius supposed to do? And it’s not even like this is something he is doing for fun or that will have no impact, Boris’s future is riding on him doing well in that stupid test that he won’t even get to see the results from “Also it wasn’t so bad”.

“Oh, of course now you say that—”

“I’m not saying it was the best four hours of my life but the first part is this survey that said mark your childhood trauma and there were like all these options and one at the bottom that said _Another_ and gave you space to write you very specific trauma” Nick says awkwardly and laughingly, if that was the highlight of what Nick went through, Sirius is ready to jump out of a window. 

“So the survey comes first” Sirius says attempting to prepare himself, even if Nick said that they could be different “and then what an interview?”

“It’s a long one, they talk about your childhood, your parents, what you did when you were in school, your dating history, even your bank account, I swear it’s like talking to someone who knows everything about you when you know nothing about them, it’s fucking crazy” Nick says before stopping himself again and taking a deep breath “I’m sorry, I’m not helping you, am I? I just—I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this and I didn’t tell Lucille how bad it was because she is so stressed with work and I didn’t want to add to her plate so—”

“No, it’s fine” he says somewhat dismissively because he doesn’t need Nick apologizing to him at this point, after what he did, Nick is allowed to freak him out. 

“We don’t have to see each other on Friday, maybe Saturday or next week—”

“Why? I thought you wanted to do it right away?” he doesn’t add the _because you don’t trust me_ that he is hearing in the back of his head because he doesn’t want Nick to think he is trying to guilt trip him into forgiving him, he is not that fucking pathetic and the only person that should feel guilty in this conversation is him, he fucked up.

“I do but you have that thing and I really think you would prefer staying home for the rest of the day, I’m only saying this because I came to work after it and I cried in my office” he says sounding like he is embarrassed to be sharing this with Sirius.

“I’ll be fine, just give me the address” he says because he doesn’t want to fail Nick twice “I’ll be there”. 

Nick sighs, there is a pause like he wants to argue with him before saying “Alright”.

He tells him the address, he is writing it down and he is about to tell that he has it down when Nick’s voice becomes lower as he says “Mr.Watson, I hope everything was clear, have a nice day”.

Nick hangs up after that and he understands that as a sign that he is at work and his boss just walked in and he can’t find him doing personal calls, he puts the telephone down and sees Boris walking down the hallway, he doesn’t recognize the clothes and realizes that it must be his old ones that he brought from the orphanage, worn out jeans with some holes in them, an oversized t-shirt that he could wear it as a dress. 

He sits down, looking uneasy as Sirius sits next to him and he takes something out of his pocket, a bunch of papers folded, newspaper articles, some big and some small, Sirius knows what they are before Boris unfolds one of them and he sees that man’s face, he has to hold back from not ripping the pictures into pieces, he wants to punch him in the face until blood comes out, until his teeth fall out and—

Boris unfolds one of the newspaper articles and rips it in half and then into strips, he looks uneasy and he actually winces when he does it, but he continues with determination.

“I think these are all the articles I had” Boris says frowning, unfolding a new article “I’ve been thinking of getting rid of them for a while now, I had them when I was going through this stupid phase when I was trying to find out where they sent my father, I wanted to send him a letter or something to make him feel better or whatever I was thinking at the time”.

He shakes his head and the crease in his brow deepens as he continues to rip a different article the same way he had done with the first, Boris gives Sirius a look that says _Can you believe that I was so stupid?_

“It’s sweet you thought about it and went through all the trouble” he tells him, ruffling his hair, trying not to look at him in the newspaper, Boris leans closer to him but he keeps his attention on the strips he is making.

“If he had cared, it would have been sweet but he wouldn’t so it was stupid” he responds bluntly “I was going to throw them down the toilet, but I thought they might as well be useful”. 

“Your dad not caring is stupid, you are not” he says, Boris smiles slightly this time while he continues to tear strips, he knows that this might be something that Boris needs to do on his own but he still asks “Can I help?”

Boris passes him one of the neatly folded articles, he opens it and sees Boris’s sloppy scrawl in the articles, things that he saw as signs or clues to find his dad, things that are underlined or circled and he sees how Boris had scratched a part that said _His son is in the hospital battling for his life._

He wonders how Boris is going to react when he sees the articles about his mum, whether he would want to keep the articles or not even look at them at all.  
“What are we going to do with the pictures?” Boris asks him, when Sirius feels that he is going to turn to look at him, he starts to tear the newspaper “I mean like do Fleamont and Euphemia have muggle pictures? Or do we take pictures?”

“They do have some, but I think they are all framed, I’m going to have to call them and ask” he says, he is not sure, there might more pictures that he just hasn’t seen before or maybe duplicates, David always had duplicates, he actually had given Euphemia and Fleamont a multi-picture frame with James and Lily’s wedding photos as a gift and they had it hung up on their living room “if not we’ll have our own photoshoot”.

“That sounds nice” Boris huffs out a laugh, unfolding a new article and he sees him stare at it for a second, this one has a huge picture of his father, he doesn’t get enough time to read the whole title, only the man’s first name Vladimir and Boris is already ripping it in half before he has finished, Boris keeps on tearing it up and it doesn’t look like he is just turning it into pieces, it looks like he wants to make it disappear but stops himself like he is realizing what he is doing and puts it aside before opening a new one “What should I tell people?”

“What?” he asks, confused, unsure of what Boris is referring to.

“People at school, what should I tell them?” he asks him with uncertainty, he can feel him shaking his leg nervously, he brings his hand to his mouth, like he wants to bite his nails but puts it down "Some of them have assumed that I’m—well, yours and I haven’t corrected them because—I am, yes?”

“Yes, you are my kid” he says immediately because he can see on Boris’s face that he needs that confirmation more than anything and because well, he is, maybe not the way people at school think but he is and he doesn’t want Boris to doubt it for even a second.

“Yes, good” Boris smiles, he knows that one, it’s his way too big smile, the one he has that takes over most of his face and reaches his eyes, he is not just pleased or proud, those two are different, it’s also different from the way he grins when he thinks something is funny, right now he looks genuinely happy “I have only been talking to Gyuri and Astrid and well they know everything already and I wasn’t thinking about anyone else or what they would be thinking but now I realize that of course that’s what they would think”.

Boris looks down, now looking hyper focused on his task and in his hands, Sirius can’t look at his face this way and he thinks that’s why Boris did it because he is trying not to look at him in the eye.

He doesn’t know why and the kitchen feels heavy with silence.

Boris said he didn’t know what to tell people, he is probably wondering what to do now, he wants to say that he can let them think that if he wants but maybe it’s the opposite of that, maybe he doesn’t want to lie about where he came from.

Sirius doesn’t what to say and feels like he is fucking up and the first thing he can think about is “Does it bother you that they think that?”

“No, I like it” he says, scrunching his face like he thinks that is worse somehow “it would have been so much easier that way, so much better… Well, I guess not, not really...when I was a baby, you would have only been…what? Like eight? You could have killed me”. 

He says that last part, turning to look at him with a grin like he wants him to know that he is joking, Sirius knew that already but all he can think about is how, when he was eight, that one time he accidentally threw Narcissa’s doll out of the window, and the many times he not-so-accidentally decapitated her dolls, in his defense he had a child-size guillotine that he needed something to try it on with and those dolls were the perfect size, what else was he supposed to do? 

At least he did recover the doll that he threw out the window.

Wait, did he also decapitate that doll? 

God, and that was a fake baby, he really would have killed a real one. 

“I’m joking,” Boris says, putting his hand on his shoulder. 

“I know” he says as huffs out a laugh, it comes out a little forced “I’m just thinking—god, I would have dropped you”. 

Boris laughs, clearly amused, Sirius not so much and he suddenly understands better the pictures he saw of Boris’s mother, the one when she is holding him when he is just a baby and the tight grip she had on him. 

“That’s not the worst thing that could have happened to me at your old house” Boris says knowingly as he nods.

“You are right” he nods and shakes his head immediately, he doesn’t even want to imagine Boris being there for even a second and he’d rather go back to what he was talking about before, that’s something that he can help Boris with “What do you want to tell them?”

“Huh?”

“The kids at school, you asked me what should you tell them and I’m asking you what you would want to tell them?” he asks him, Boris turns his head away and looks down again.

“I thought about just putting a picture of you there and then one of my Mom and calling it a day” he admits, his voice sounds heavy like it’s hard for him to admit it and it sounds like he is apologizing to Sirius for even considering doing that “I wouldn’t have to explain much, I mean all I’ll have to say is that she is dead, and I never really knew her family, maybe make something up but I wouldn’t have to lie much, but then I realized that her picture is probably going to be in the newspaper so I might as well put a picture of my dad while I’m at it so that leaves me out of options”.

“You don’t have to tell them everything if you don’t want to,” Sirius says, he is not sure he is saying the right thing but he wants Boris to have options, he hates how Boris sounds trapped.

“They are going to ask anyways, why not get it out of the way, yes?” Boris shrugs, now he just sounds resigned “It’s not a big deal, I’m not embarrassed or anything like that, I just—you are right, I can’t say everything, I’m just going to keep it simple and say that my parents died and you adopted me and that’s that”.

“I’ll support you on whatever you want to say, even in the first version of the story you said, I can lie about my age, I think I could pass for older” he reassures him and Boris smiles a little bit as he carefully stares at him, tilting his head, he thinks he might be trying to get his story straight in his head before shaking his head.

“I don’t want to be caught in a lie but I don’t want them to know who my dad is either, I get nervous sometimes when I write my name, I’m still not used to your last name, most of my B’s start as P’s—it’s not that I don’t like it, I’m just not used to it yet, I just need some time” he rubs his eyes, he looks stressed as he fidgets with his hands, looking at him worried like he is going to take it as some sort of offense. 

“It’s fine, take all the time you need” he says first because he doesn’t want Boris to think that using his last name is some sort of _luxury_ that he is going to take from him if he does something that he doesn’t like, only assholes like his parents do that “and you don’t have to use my last name if you don’t want to, I won’t take it as an insult or anything like that, it doesn’t mean we are not family or anything, I don’t have the same last name as the Potters but they are still my family”. 

Boris nods but he looks almost out of energy and Sirius hates seeing him like this, so he puts an arm around him to pull him close as he says “But I also kept my name that way because my initials are S.O.B”. 

It takes a second for Boris to get it, he starts to snort and then it slowly becomes uncontrollable laughter and he does look in a better mood then and the conversation becomes light and breezy as they continue with the school project. 

-.-.-.-

They finish it sooner than he thought they would and they think about cleaning the place, they manage to get it halfway done before deciding to leave the project to dry and going to clean themselves, he thinks they might be able to clean it in the morning, now they can just shower and order a pizza and call it a night. 

After he showers, he calls the pizza place so it’ll be on its way by the time that Boris gets out of the shower, he is about to go check on him when he hears a knock on the door. 

He frowns wondering who it might be and turns around to stare at the watch, wonder who would that be, he wasn’t expecting anyone— 

Shit.

Sirius starts to open the door and he is able to hear her before seeing her “Good afternoon, my name is Carolina Rufina Prieto Leal from the nanny agency, your doorman let me in” Her voice is both soft and high pitched, it makes her sound like a wholesome character from a children’s cartoon “you are Mr.Black, right?” 

Her voice matches her face, she has dazzling green eyes and coal black hair, her curly was spirals that made it look bouncy, she has a gigantic friendly smile that feels frozen in her face, she reminds him a little of one of Narcissa’s dolls, one that changed expressions when you would poke her nose and she offers to shake his hand. 

“Yes, I am” he responds, she shakes his hand firmly and straightens herself, that’s when he realizes that she is almost as tall as him, only a few inches short “Please come on in”.

“Thank you and I’m sorry that I was ten minutes late but a man tried to steal my purse” she says politely as she takes off her coat, he notices her smiling triumphantly as she shows she still has it as if to say _but I won't._

“It’s okay” he tells her, unsure if he should say that he forgot she was coming today at all. 

Boris comes out of his room in his pajamas, drying his hair with a towel and stops dead in his tracks when he sees them there, he looks at them alternately before saying in a somewhat accusatory tone “I didn’t know you were going to have visits. I thought you were just ordering pizza—”

“Boris, this is Carolina Prieto from the nanny agency” he says quickly when he realizes that Boris thinks that he just brought a random girl over and he turns to her to make sure that he is getting her name right, she nods and waves at Boris. 

“Oh, sorry” Boris says, sounding regretful, even if Carolina seems perfectly unaware of what just happened, then his expression becomes worried “You are going to work right now?” 

“No, this is just an interview to see if we get along” He explains, Boris looks more relaxed now.

“Hopefully we will,” Carolina says, offering to shake Boris’s hand as well. 

Since the kitchen is still a mess, they end up sitting in the living room, at the conversation pit, Sirius ends up sitting between the two of them and the interview is supposed to start but at first he can’t remember what to ask and ends up asking the first thing he remembers from the papers Mrs.Calderon had shown him “I read that you know how to speak Polish?”

Carolina looks surprised like she wasn’t expecting that to be the first thing he was going to ask but she is not completely caught off guard as she responds “Yes, I know how to speak Polish, Spanish and Italian, in addition to English, of course” she looks at Boris as she asks, “Are you taking lessons?”

“No, I can speak Polish” he answers before quickly adding “Ukrainian and Russian”.

“Oh, that’s impressive, you must be proud of him” he knows her tone of voice, it’s the same one teachers used when congratulating parents, they didn’t use it much with his parents, especially during his first years.

“I am but he taught himself” he tells her because he really had nothing to do with it, that was all Boris, who is looking at him grinning from ear to ear.

“How did you learn?” Boris asks her with interest.

“Oh, my grandmother is Polish, she taught me since I was young, at first it was just like lullabies and nursery rhymes and we slowly went from there” she explains and then shrugs.

“What kind?” Boris asks her, leaning forward, resting his face in his hands, the same way he did with him when he listened to a bedtime story.

Carolina frowns slightly as she taps her hands against her knees, as if trying to remember the rhythm before she starts singing “A-a-a, a-a-a, byly sobie kotki dwa” she makes a sign for two and then makes a gesture with her hands that he is pretty sure means little “A-a-a, kotki dwa, szarobure, szarobure obydwa”.

Sirius turns to Boris to ask him if he knows the song, but he realizes that he doesn’t need to when he looks at his face, he has lifted his face from his hands, his eyes are wide and bright, there is a smile on his face that he can’t recognize, it’s almost nostalgic.

“Ach, śpij, kochanie, jesli gwiazdke z nieba chcesz dostaniesz” she continues, bringing her hand up and pretending like she is touching the sky and bringing something down, opening her hands up like she is showing it.

“Wszystkie dzieci, nawet źle” Boris sing as well, he doesn’t mime or do gestures like her, he only points at the end “pogrążone są we śnie, a ty jedna tylko nie”. 

She smiles delighted when she hears him sing and asks him “Do you know any other ones?”

“No, that’s the only one I know” Boris responds, he sounds sad but he is still smiling and Sirius can tell that he wants her to sing it again but won’t ask for it.  
“Well, maybe I can teach you” she offers kindly, Boris smiles widely before nodding. 

Sirius feels himself at ease in that moment, seeing them get along and her bonding with Boris in a way that he can’t, he doesn’t know the song or understand the lyrics but he knows that it’s probably the only song his mother knew and he can actually picture her singing it to Boris, even if she probably wasn’t as theatrical as Carolina.

He can hear the intercom meaning that the pizza has arrived and runs to tell the doorman to let the pizza man in, he says he is going to the kitchen for some napkins and something to drink, Carolina offers to help him while Boris finds something to watch, he decides to let her help him even if the kitchen is a mess because he wants to ask her questions that he knows Boris will find boring or that he doesn’t want him to hear.

Sirius can see her looking at the school project, she smiles at it without caring about the mess before following him, when he takes the plates from the cabinet and passes them to her. 

“I feel like I should ask how much do you want to earn?” Sirius asks, feeling like that’s the question that she gets asked first by the way she nods her head.  
“I charge sixteen dollars per hour” she replies, helping him with the plates.

“I have a tricky work schedule; I don’t know how long the meetings are going to happen or how long they are going to last” he tells her, she nods along to his words but he can’t really read her expression, he doesn’t know if that’s a deal breaker or not.

“I have no problems with working overtime as long as you—”

“I’m willing to pay the overtime generously, no problem” he tells her and sees her look mildly surprised for a second before nodding. 

“That works for me” she nods sounding pleased before making a concerned gesture “I do need to ask you a question, I know your work schedule is tricky so are there going to be times when you’ll have to spend the night out?” 

Sirius is about to answer that won’t happen even if he knows it’s not true, he can’t see himself not spending the night with Boris, without holding him and making sure that he is okay, what if he wakes up in the middle of the night and he isn’t there? The other morning, he woke up early because he wasn’t there and he was only in the kitchen. What would happen if he is not at home at all and he is not even able to reach him?

“I would have no problems with spending the night, I only want to know if it’s a possibility” she tells him, he thinks she might have picked up on his concerns because she sounds reassuring like she wants him to know it won’t be a problem for her.

She has no idea that it’s actually a problem for him. 

“It might be” he replies curtly, unsure of how to continue until he remembers the most important thing that he needs to tell her “I read your recommendation letter, the one written by Emily Brown and my situation—it’s not the same—it’s a family—well a biological family situation”.

She frowns slightly, he doesn’t know if it’s in confusion or concern as she asks him “Is there anyone that you don’t want Boris to see?”

“Yes, my cousin Narcissa, she is not violent, she wouldn’t—at least I don’t think she would” he replies, he hadn’t talked to her in a few years and after what Lucius had said, who knows what Narcissa is even thinking now, he doesn’t say it, he doesn’t want to freak out Carolina, especially because Boris likes her “She showed up the other day and she scared Boris, if she shows up, just don’t let her in”.

He expects Carolina to ask him more questions or to ask him what to do if she shows up, after all he is putting her in a difficult position but she doesn’t do any of that, she just nods with certainty.

“Understood, I won’t let her in, if you can give me a picture of her to be able to recognize her, that would be great, people lie about their names all the time”.

“I don’t know if I have one, but I will check” he did have pictures with Narcissa but he wasn’t sure where he had even left them and they looked young there but he thinks they would work. 

“I would also need a list of people that are allowed to come into your apartment when you are not here and phone numbers to be able to reach you in case of any emergency”.

As soon as she says that he knows that for sure James, Lily, Remus, and Peter are going on that list.

“I’ll make sure to have it ready for tomorrow” he promises before asking “Do you need to know anything else?”

Her next questions are normal and it’s safe for Boris to hear them, he might want to participate even, they answer them as they eat the pizza and she asks him if Boris takes any type of medication, if he is allergic to anything like bees or other insect, maybe certain fruits, he says no, that’s what the doctor and the papers they showed him at the orphanage said but still double checks with Boris who shakes his head.

She asks him how long does Boris takes to finish his homework and if he has any other activities for the rest of the afternoon if Boris practices any instruments or if he participates in sports, he tells her that he doesn’t practice any sports but he is going to start playing the guitar soon and Boris does says that he is not interested in sports.

Carolina asks Boris what types of snacks he likes to have and after Boris lists the apples, oranges, cucumbers, sandwiches and of course tea, she asks Sirius if he is allowed to eat that before bed and that leads to her asking what is their bedtime routine is like and Sirius doesn’t like the idea of someone else taking care of that and he can’t stop himself from saying “That won’t be necessary, I can handle that”.

She stares back at him but doesn’t argue with him about it, she just nods even if she doesn’t look like she agrees with his choice and it feels tense until Boris says “It’s usually a book chapter and then I’m ready to fall asleep”.

“That’s nice” she tells him complimentary before asking “besides reading what else do you like to do? What games do you like to play?”

“Listening to music and well, hangman, tic tac toe” he lists, he sounds like he is struggling as he tries to think of games he liked to play, Sirius assumes that he probably didn’t get much of a chance to play around with other kids his own age, something that Sirius was always able to do as a kid, even if it was just being target practice with Bellatrix “I played sudoku but it doesn’t count, I just did it for a friend”.

Sirius is surprised that he didn’t mention that before, Narcissa used to play that…

Of course that doesn’t matter now and like Boris had said, he only played it for a friend. 

“I’m also going to learn how to ride a bike” he says like he is trying to find more things to say, he looks at her as if to say _Does that count?_

“Oh that’s so cool!” she says excitedly patting him in the shoulder, Boris grins “I can ride a bike as well, I also like roller skating—”

“ME TOO!” Boris responds happily jumping in his seat a little bit “What else do you like to do?”

She looks puzzled for a second like she wasn’t expecting that question either but she still answers “Well, I like to read as well, my dad would also try to read me a book chapter every night before I would go to sleep when I was little and we exchange books now, he just gave me The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky—”

“Oh I read that too'' he tells her happily, Sirius notices her eyes widen in shock for a moment, he thinks she is going to give him a scandalized look but she doesn’t, he can see that she tries to hide her surprise by blinking.

“Maybe one day, we can discuss it,” she says with a cordial smile as Boris nods excitedly, she looks down at a heart shaped watch in her wrist before looking at Sirius with an apologetic expression as she stands up “Ay no—I should really head out, I’m going to miss the bus, I usually don’t have this problem but my vespa is at a repair shop and it’s the only way to go back home—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, It’s okay really, thank you for coming” he tells her, standing up as well to walk her to the door “Will we see you tomorrow?” 

“Yes, of course!” she says, sounding gleeful and putting her hands together like she was about to clap but instead joining them “What time should I be here?—Wait, I have to give you my phone number”. 

She runs to where she left her purse and takes out a small pink pad when she is looking for something and she frowns slightly says “Oh shoot, I forgot to ask you where you keep the first aid kit so that I can quickly find it in case of an emergency” he is about to respond when she points at the small pink bag “I do have my own mini first aid kit, the only thing I don’t have are ice packs but I have enough band-aids for all the boo-boos”. 

“Don’t worry, I have ice packs” Sirius reassures her, even if he almost laughs, the boo-boos, she cannot be more wholesome “and my first aid kit is in the bathroom, you can’t miss it”. 

“Perfect” she says, passing him a piece of pink paper with her name and telephone number on it “I’ll see you two tomorrow, it was really nice to meet you both”. 

“It was nice to meet you too” Sirius tells her as she puts her coat and hat back on.

“See you tomorrow” Boris tells her, waving at her. 

She waves back before closing the door, and the first thing Boris asks him is “Did you like her?” 

“She is nice and she seems like a good babysitter” he tells, trying to sound impartial because he doesn’t want Boris to make an opinion based on his, he wants him to have his own “Did you like her?”

“Of course I did” he says like he should be insane not to. 

“Then I like her too” Sirius tells him,after all that’s what matters, he sees Boris smiling at him like he can’t quite believe he just said that and he hugs him.  
He doesn’t really let go as they walk to his bedroom, Boris just happily says “My mom used to sing me that song all the time, sometimes we would sing it together before falling asleep, I used to wait for her to finish talking to my dad for us to do it, I knew exactly who she was by the way she opened the door”. 

Sirius can’t help to smile at that, that was their bedtime routine, he can almost picture it, the two of them snuggled up and singing together, maybe it was another one of their rare moments of peace that Boris’s father couldn’t touch, couldn’t ruin and Boris gets to keep that good memory in his head, to know that she was nearby and would make him feel safe.

He didn’t have that, every time he could hear Walburga walking near his door, it would fill him with dread.

“I’m glad you got to hear it again” he says, attempting to distract himself by picking Boris up “What does the song say?”

Boris hums a little and frowning slightly as he concentrates to translate the words “There were once two little kittens, two little kittens, they were both grayish-brown” he makes a small pause, humming a little more and swaying his head “Oh, sleep, my darling, If you’d like a star from the sky I’ll give you one, all children, even the bad ones, are already asleep, only you are not”.

He half sings the last part and affectionately pokes Sirius’s nose; he can tell that this is something that his mom used to do to him by the way he smiles widely but leans his head in his shoulder sadly.

“It’s an adorable song” he says as he puts Boris down on his bed carefully “I totally understand why your mum would sing it to you”.

“There is a second verse, but I can’t remember it, I think it repeats the part about the cats and there was something about the sun” his frown deepens, he mumbles something in polish before shaking his head “That’s not it”.

“You can ask Carolina tomorrow, I’m sure she’ll tell you” he tells him because he has realized that he struggles with asking for things and sometimes needs to be reassured that things will be okay if he asks. 

“Sure” Boris says, smiling wanly, looking thoughtful “So…about my mom, you said that I could frame the pictures of her, would it be cool if I kept the newspaper articles when they come out?”

“Of course,” he says simply even if the idea of what Boris might read in those newspapers made him uneasy, especially after everything Mrs.Winkles had said and how he had to prepare him for it, he still had no idea how and now that he knew that he wanted to read it, there was no way to go around it.

“But do you want me to?” Boris responds with a lifted eyebrow and narrowed eyes and something in Sirius’s expression must give something away “You don’t, do you?”

“No, that’s not it—”

“Yes, you are making your worried face” Boris says poking him in between the eyebrows, he didn’t look upset, just curious.

“I’m not against it, I’ll get you all the newspapers you want or need, I just worry about you in general” Sirius tells him stroking his hair slowly “and about what you might find there—”

“I know everything there is to know about my mom” he tells him confidently before his expression deflates “well not everything, I don’t know a lot of stuff, but I know the worst stuff”.

“It’s not about that, it’s about…what people might say about her” he struggles to find the right words, but Boris seems to be ahead of him in the area, he is already nodding.

“Yeah, I know, the first newspaper wasn’t so bad but they didn’t know who she was and they were talking about her like she wasn’t even real and I get it , she was just a body to him but she was my mom too” he says, his voice breaks at the end but he shakes his head as if refusing to cry, Sirius knows that gesture too well “and I know that when people will hear about her and everything she did, they are going to think that she wasn’t a good because of the drugs or the alcohol and everything but it wasn’t so simple, you know?”

“Yeah, I know it wasn’t and I know she was a good mother” Sirius would know, he is an expert on horrible mothers, and she doesn’t sound anything like it and he knows it doesn’t change anything about this situation but Boris smiles like it’s a genuine source of comfort to hear that.

“You could read the newspapers with me, I mean so you won’t worry” Boris says with a shrug and looking down like Sirius would ever say no to that, sure he doesn’t like to read the news, but he’ll do anything that Boris needs.

“Sure, it would be a good way for me to finally read the newspaper, usually I only do the crosswords” he replies, getting Boris to snort.

“Good” Boris nods laughingly even if his eyes look glassy and pulls Sirius into a tight hug.

-.-.-.-.-

Next morning when he is dropping Boris off, he sees him glancing nervously at Astrid’s mom holding a newspaper and after Sirius asks to borrow it for a second and finds nothing, Boris looks more relaxed, but he can’t forget how agitated and alarmed he looked like he wasn’t ready yet.

Sirius wants to fix this, to make it all go away until he was ready, but he can’t.

But he couldn’t sit down and do nothing either.

He decides to take Boris out after school to distract him a little bit and when Lily calls to ask if Boris would like to try the ride biking lessons today and he takes it, afterwards when he remembers that he has to call Carolina, at first he thinks of telling her to come tomorrow but when he says that he is taking Boris to the park with some friends and he understands if she doesn’t want to go.

“I have no problem with going to the park with your friends and you” she says softly and when he doesn’t respond right away “I also go to beaches, clubs and parties, if you need someone to look after Boris while you have fun, I travel as well but I need to be told a couple of weeks in advance for obvious reasons”.

“Travel?” he asks, confused for a second.

“Sometimes parents have to go on trips for work and want the babysitter to come along” she explains simply “but I don’t think you need that since you work from home and all of that, forget it, anyway, would you like me to meet you at the park or at your house?”

They decide for the house so he can show her how to get to Boris’s school and where to park her vespa.

She arrives right on time and he notices that she isn’t just wearing a helmet but also goggles and instead of her bag from yesterday, she is wearing a blue backpack that looks bigger, the vespa is red and isn’t in amazing shape, he can tell that she has had it for a few years and maybe got into a couple of accidents and bought it off someone who did.

Carolina parks it right next to his motorcycle and decides to take the bus since the vespa doesn’t have a sidecar like his motorcycle, it’s probable that she will bring Boris from school that way or take a cab and since the bus shows up first, that’s the way to go.

The way there feels uncomfortable, they don’t know what to talk about to each other and just smile at each other quietly and awkwardly, it’s a relief when they finally arrive at school and it’s a bigger relief when Boris is finally there and manages to get rid of the tension as he starts talking about his day at school. 

The way from Boris’s school to Lily’s old house feels a lot more bearable and even fun at times when Boris tries to guess what Carolina has in her backpack and before they know it, they have arrived and he can see the garage is open and the bicycle is already outside, being held by James and Lily, Boris greets them by giving each of them a side-hug while he stares at the bike excitedly.

“We should go to the park, my dad says it’s never good to start on the street—” Lily says, stopping herself when she sees Carolina, her expression surprised and slightly confused but still the first thing she does is offering to shake her hand “well, hello”.

“Carolina, this is my brother James Potter and my sister in law Lily Evans” he tells her, he sees her look at both and smile as she stretches their hands “And this is Carolina Pietro”.

“She is going to be my babysitter” Boris adds cheerfully. 

“So nice to meet both of you” she says very politely. 

Lily and James smile at her pleasantly, they seem ready to go but then Lily turns to the door like she is waiting for something and Mr.Evans comes running out with an orange helmet that looks old but in good condition.

“I hope it fits” he breathes heavily as he smiles and helps Boris to put it on his head “Lily’s head was always a little smaller than the—”

“Dad” Lily says, sounding a little self-conscious, touching her head as if to be sure that it was normal size.

“I’m just saying that helmets and hats were always a little big on you” he replies before kissing her forehead lovingly.

Sirius tilts his head, he hadn’t notice that but now that he mentioned it—

“Stop it” Lily says as a warning before Sirius can say anything.

“It fits perfectly” Boris responds looking up at him.

“That’s great, it means you are safe and have a normal sized head” Sirius replies while Lily smacks him in the arm.

“Well, I’ll let you kids have fun” Mr.Evans says, about to walk back to his house.

“Wait, Dad, you don’t want to come with us?” Lily offers, Mr.Evans opens his mouth but doesn’t answer until he sends a quick look at Sirius’s direction to check if it’s okay with him, he nods quickly, he couldn’t possibly say no after he prepared the bike for Boris and even found him a bicycle helmet, something that he hadn’t considered. 

He runs back for his jacket and it’s only then when he notices Carolina who smiles pleasantly and shakes his hand firmly “My name is Carolina Prieto, hopefully the next babysitter”.

“Lovely to meet you, I’m David, I’m Lily’s father” he says as they start walking. 

Lily doesn’t let Boris get on the bike until they get to the park and once, they are there, she holds the bike by the handle and the saddle while Boris gets on it, at first she tells him to push the bike along and after a bit of just walking, with now speed and familiarity increasing, Boris feet go up as he tries to balance himself. 

Mr.Evans tells her to be careful because the bike can wobble and as she starts to run alongside the bike, he joins her even if he is just lightly jogging and Carolina is right next to them, not jogging or running, more like power walking.

Sirius and James are just walking, Sirius has partly forced himself to, he trusts Lily to take care of Boris, same with Mr.Evans who is right behind him and Carolina is in close proximity as well and he has to learn to trust her with Boris. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you to your therapy session tomorrow?” James asks him out of the blue. 

“It’s four hours, James and it’s horrible, Nick just confirmed that yesterday” He groans, he doesn’t know if he wants him there or not, on the one hand he knows that having him there would him feel automatically better but on the other hand he also knows he would be all alone in a room anyway “and unlike me, he actually has self-control so of course he stayed, what if I want to leave?” 

“You have self-control, you don’t always use it but it’s there and I know for a fact that you won’t leave” James says sounding more confident than Sirius was feeling.

“How can you know that for sure?” he asks before he feels something passing him by with speed, he looks to see Boris in his bicycle, he had been able to drive a circle around the park, Boris flashes him a huge grin as he waves at him for a second before putting his hand back down, the bicycle wobbles but he doesn’t fall.  
Sirius smiles as he lets out a huge sigh of relief, waving back as James says “Because you care about him, that’s why”. 

He doesn’t get a chance to answer because Lily runs past him and says “His first ride! Why didn’t you get the camera?” 

“Dammit! I should have!” he responds laughingly but feeling slightly frustrated as he heard Mr.Evans laugh as well, sounding a little breathless but still following his daughter, same with Carolina who walked calmly now. 

“Hey, do you want me to hold your backpack?” Sirius offers since he is already holding Boris’s backpack, she turns to look at him and shakes her head with a polite smile and thumbs up, turning around and starting to run. 

“But if you are really worried about leaving, I can stay outside” James says after she is far away enough not to hear them.

Sirius considers it, it's a good idea but…no, he is the father, this is something that he has to handle it by himself.

“Don’t worry about it, I got it” he says trying to make himself sound self-assured as he sees Boris give his second run around the park be successful.

The third is going fine when this time when the bike wobbles Boris does fall and Sirius just runs to the other side of the park, Carolina manages to get there before him and kneels next to Boris, Lily and Mr.Evans are already there before Sirius, James running right behind him.

Lily sees him coming and he can see that she looks terrified as she pulls her dad aside when she sees him coming but Carolina doesn’t move, opening her pink bag, the mini first aid kit that she had shown him yesterday, that’s when he understands that she was running behind him with the backpack in case he fell.

“I’m fine” Boris says looking up at him like he doesn’t understand what the fuss is all about even if his hands are clearly bleeding and Sirius is slowly kneeling next to him to get a better look and feeling like he is going to faint for a second “One time I got broken glass stuck on them and that did hurt like a bitch”.

“Yeah me too but on my knees” he responds noticing that Carolina is sending a look in his direction, he thinks is a scandalized one but quickly realizes that’s not the case, she mouths _distract him_ while putting alcohol on cotton to clean his hand, he turns his gaze back to Boris “my mother, you know?”  
“Fuck, the knees, that had to hurt” he responds making a pained expression, he doesn’t know if he is imagining the pain or it’s his hands that hurt “My hands were also my dad’s fault”.  
“Your hands are all patched up” Carolina says with the voice of a game show host “Are your knees okay?”  
“Yes” Boris nods, Lily offers her hands to help him, still looking a little scared like she still can’t believe what happened.  
Mr.Evans picks up the bike and Sirius stands up by himself and pats him on the shoulder as an attempt to show that he is not upset, even if he still feels slightly panicked and he sees James helping Carolina to put all her stuff back inside her backpack and once she is ready, Sirius offers his hand and she takes it.  
They walk back to Lily’s house in silence and just when he thinks that the mood can’t get any worse, he sees Vernon’s car parked right in front of the house, he even feels James tensing right next to him as he takes Lily’s hand, she doesn’t look happy either as she is rubbing her temples as if preparing for a headache.  
Sirius notices him looking at them and he sees Vernon is sending a dirty look in his direction, the same one he gave when he saw his tattoos or his motorcycle, the look that he would give every time he would find something that he didn’t approve of, and usually he didn’t mind it, he took it as a sign that he was doing everything right in his life but this time Vernon turns his judging glare on Boris’s direction and Sirius puts his hand on Boris’s shoulder pulling him as far away from that car as humanly possible, he doesn’t want Vernon even looking at Boris and he is about to tell him how he can go fuck himself when Mr.Evans stands between them and says “Good afternoon, Vernon, are you waiting for Petunia?”  
“Yeah, she needed to clear up some details with your wife” he says sounding polite but he doesn’t actually seem interested in what he was saying, almost like this conversation is a chore.  
“I’ll tell her to hurry up” Mr.Evans says, clearly forcing a smile “Sirius, can you help me with the garage door?”  
He knows it’s an excuse to keep him away from Vernon, he knows that Mr.Evans is perfectly able to open it by himself, he wants to say no but Boris takes his hand and so Sirius can’t go in a different direction from the one that he is pulling him towards. 

They walk to the garage door, while poor James and Lily stay back because they have to greet Vernon, he helps Mr.Evans with the door and when he tells Carolina to come inside, she moves the bike inside with Boris’s help. 

When James and Lily join them, they close the door and start to make their way inside the house, Boris is taking off his helmet and passing it to Sirius, when Sirius hears Petunia’s voice and feels ready to rip his hair out.

“Can’t you see that I’m trying to make things easier? Why are you acting like I committed some sort of crime?” he recognizes Petunia’s angry high-pitched tone, it sounds like a petulant child and Sirius can’t help to roll his eyes “I only ordered food for tomorrow’s dinner so that you wouldn’t have to cook for everyone especially when last time you complained that it took you so long to make it—”

“I never complain about having to cook, I only mentioned that it took me a couple of hours to make the food, I love cooking for my family and I would be thrilled to cook dinner tomorrow night” Mrs.Evans sounded calm and collected but it was clear that she wasn’t happy about the situation “I didn’t complain about anything last time, not when your future husband spent the night making faces, not when he didn’t even try his food and not when I saw how he expected you to pick up the plates for him, the first time your father came over to eat dinner at my house, he ate everything and then rushed to pick up the plates—”

“Mum, please don’t make this bigger than what it is, I’m just asking you for us to have normal food for dinner for ONE. NIGHT—”

“How is our food not normal?” she asks, her tone makes Sirius want to step back, she doesn’t sound angry, snappy or offended, she sounds seriously hurt like Petunia had just smacked her in the face, and her voice breaks a little when she says “How is the food that I have made for you since you were a little girl not normal?”

“Mum” she does sound apologetic but mostly frustrated “Please, you know I don’t mean it like that”.

“Then how do you mean it?” there is an edge to her voice like she really wants Petunia to answer it. 

Sirius sees the moment that Mrs.Evans realizes that they are inside the house, because she looks at them for a second and then back at Petunia and says in a severe tone of voice “We’ll talk more later”.

“We are back” Mr.Evans says, faking his usual bright smile, pretending that they hadn’t heard their conversation but he can tell that he is angry because his tone of voice is completely different, it doesn't sound cheery or playful and Sirius isn't sure if he ever heard him like this.

Petunia turns around, Sirius thinks she is about to either apologize or excuse herself but then she looks at them and she is clearly fighting with herself to not roll her eyes and he can’t help to scoff, if anything she should be glad that they are here and stopped her from having a conversation that she so clearly didn’t want to have.

He is about to tell Lily that, when he turns to look at her and sees how upset she is as her gaze completely focuses on Petunia, while she averts her gaze and tries to avoid making eye contact with her, he doesn’t know if she is embarrassed or she just doesn’t care enough to look back at her but then she slowly does a double take.  
“Carolina?” she asks, surprised and horrified like she can’t believe she is here and probably heard all the conversation she just had.

“Hi Petunia, it’s so good to see you” she says trying to be friendly, clearly trying to make conversation to get rid of the tension “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t able to go to your going away party but I did send a present, I hope you liked it”.

Carolina steps forward to attempt some sort of greeting, maybe a hug or a kiss on the cheek but Petunia doesn’t, she looks frozen on the spot and Sirius sees Carolina’s wide smile turn into a tight line as she steps back and puts her hands on her pockets, Sirius wants to say something, to defend her and tell Petunia that she is just frankly being an asshole but Mr.Evans interrupts him, he looks mildly confused and already upset like he knows that he is not going to like the answer “Going away? Going away where?”

Petunia looks at Carolina with anger, like she had just betrayed her and wants to yell _Why did you have to open your mouth?_

Sirius can see her hands turning into fists and while he doesn’t think that she’ll throw a punch or that Carolina couldn’t just deck her in response, he still thinks to take her arm and pull her back but Boris does it before he can, it’s a brash movement but she doesn’t seem to mind. 

Petunia slowly opens her fists and takes a deep breath, almost like she is preparing herself for an important speech “I quit my job a couple of weeks ago—”

“What?” Mr.Evans asks, completely shocked. 

“Why?” Mrs.Evans doesn’t sound as shocked, she sounds actually angry this time like she knows the reason already and doesn’t like it. 

“I have a lot going on right now, with everything that I have to do for the wedding, and it was just a pesky little job as a secretary anyway, it’s not like it was anything important, it was just distracting me from important stuff”. 

“But you love your job and you are good at it” Mr.Evans says, looking confused and worried “Next thing you know, you are going to tell us that you dropped out of university”. 

Petunia doesn’t say anything but the immediate look on her face before she manages to cover it up with blank neutrality says it all. 

“You dropped out of university?!” Mr.Evans almost shouts, he doesn’t sound angry though, just shocked. 

“This is not as big of a deal as you are making it out to be—” Petunia tries to say, but Mrs.Evans is having none of it.

“You know exactly how much this matters!” Mrs.Evans snaps. Sirius is fairly sure he has never heard her like this before. “Haven’t I told you and your sister all your life how important education is? Haven’t I reminded you how lucky you are to have these opportunities, that not everyone is so fortunate? My own mother never went beyond primary school! I know I’ve told both of you about how I never wanted that for either of you. I wanted you to go as far as you can. And here you are, going to just throw it away? And for what reason,_beti?_

Petunia does look embarrassed, she looks down and opens her mouth but no sounds come out but she recovers quickly, straightening herself and pursing her lips like she wasn’t sure of what she was going to say only for a few seconds before saying with as much confidence as possible “Vernon and I have talked about it and we came to this decision, he has enough money to maintain both of us, it makes no sense—”

“This isn’t about money” Mrs.Evans replied, her tone of voice filled with desperate sadness “This is about an important investment for your future—”

“What I want for my future is to be a stay at home mother and being a good wife, that’s what I ultimately want”.

“And how is pursuing education going to stop you from doing that?” 

“Ammi” she says pleadingly like she is begging her to stop, even if it was just one question.

“No, I want to know how going to university, pursuing a higher education, broadening your horizons, is going to stop you from being a good wife and a mother, even if you have decided you are going to stay at home? Why won’t you tell me the truth? We both know that this isn’t about what you want, it's about what _he_ wants!” Mrs.Evans sounds furious now and she reminds him so much of Lily in this moment, her nostrils flaring up and her hands running through her hair, trying to calm herself down "I’m begging you to consider this Tuney, if you are willing to give this up now for him, then what will you give up later?” 

Petunia takes a deep breath and for a moment Sirius thinks that she might change her mind but she only responds “I knew you wouldn’t like my decision and I understand that but I still hope that you will respect it”.

“I always do” she says but her expression is still sour, her face crumpled and all Sirius can think is that it feels he is watching her heart breaking right in front of him “but I think you are making the wrong choice”.

“Dad?” Petunia asks him, looking for his response and maybe for support, but even if he had been quiet so far, his expression says more than anything, the anger and sadness is present in his frowning eyebrows and on his lips “I know that you agree with Mum but you supported Lily when she didn’t want to go to uni, I’m asking you for that same support now”. 

Lily scoffs loudly, not even trying to hide how offended she is about Petunia comparing their two situations, they are nothing alike, and Sirius knows it, he knows that Lily is actually thinking of going on a Healer track or Potioneer, both of which require more studying, but she is just putting that on hold until the war is over, it’s just that she hasn’t told her parents about the war, since she didn’t want them to worry. 

“Your sister has plans for further education, she just wants to be sure of what she wants to study before she starts, but she still has made clear that she is going to pursue it eventually, I myself took a year off before university for that same reason and maybe you could do that now, please take a year off before you make this decision—”

“Dad, I’m not going to do that, I’m sure of what I want and I’m asking you to respect it” she sounds confident but something about her stance and voice says it is a false confidence, Sirius would know, he can’t place what exactly is giving him that feeling, but he knows full well about the experience of putting on a brave face and pretending everything is fine and you are sure of yourself even when the truth is far from that, and he knows what it looks like when others do the same “I should get going, Vernon is waiting for me”. 

She keeps her fake confidence act as she picks up her jacket and picks up her purse, with cold neutrality on her face until she is about to walk out of the door and says “We’ll still be seeing each other tomorrow night, right?” 

Mrs.Evans nods solemnly and Mr.Evans does as well, they still look unhappy but they don’t turn away when Petunia comes back for a hug and he can even see Mr.Evans kiss her forehead before she walks out.


End file.
